Paradise
by Cullen Strong
Summary: Bella lives in an abusive home, praying every day for a way out. What happens when she has to work on a project with Edward Cullen - the hottest guy in school - who seems to be very observant? Will she let him in, or will everything go horribly wrong? AH, Canon couples. Rated M for abuse and lemons.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hi guys! So, I've been working on this story for a long time now. I've already written about twenty chapters and I really love the way it's turning out, so I think you guys will enjoy it! Read and leave a review letting me know what you think :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters sadly.

BPOV

The ice against my stomach wasn't doing too much to stop the swelling. I sighed as I fidgeted in my bed, trying to sit up against the headboard without causing the pain in my side to scream in protest.

I groaned and threw my head back against the rigid headboard, closing my eyes in deep stress. I wanted nothing more than for this all to end. I don't know where I went wrong with Phil. When Mom died, he turned into a heartless monster whom took his sorrows out on me. I knew he was mourning her loss, but I don't understand why he mourned by abusing me.

I never met my real father. Mom told me she was in love with a man named Charlie and he got her pregnant with me during winter break of their senior year of high school. However, he went off to college in California a month before I was born and never spoke to my Mom again, never once asking how I was. She tried desperately to reach him so he could come into our lives and help her raise me, but he never answered. When I was seven, she met a man named Phil Dwyer. Mom fell head over heels, something I was not surprised by. She always became far too attached to anything that made her smile at least once.

They married when I was ten and things were good for a while. Phil and I never really got close, but he was never rude to me. Things were okay.

But, things were only okay for a little while. Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was eleven and died when I was fifteen. I was heartbroken. Completely heartbroken. Mom was my best friend. She and I did absolutely everything together. Her smile was my smile. She was my life.

I was left to live with Phil. He was angry she left me with him, due to the fact that I was another man's daughter. So, he took it out on me.

Tonight, dinner wasn't done in time. He expects dinner to be made and on the table by the time he gets home. I was studying for a test and lost track of time. When he came home from work, the meatloaf was still in the oven. He called me downstairs and threw his fist into my stomach, causing me to gasp in pain.

"Isabella, you know the rules. Don't ever disobey me. Dinner must be on the table once I get home. This better not happen again, or you'll be very sorry," he sneered in my face, his putrid saliva spewing on my cheeks. I nodded in fear and he threw me on the ground roughly. I quickly got up and ran to the oven, taking out the meatloaf and preparing the side dishes. I did my best to hide the tears that were developing in my eyes.

A shiver ran down my spine as I reiterated the events in my head. I grabbed my laptop and shoved my headphones into my ears, hoping to erase the thoughts with some music.

I constantly wished my life would be different. However, I knew it could have been worse. Phil didn't want anybody to suspect what really went on in our house, so he provided me the same luxuries as other kids my age. He bought me a laptop, a cell phone, and a car, which I was extremely thankful for. This way, nobody would suspect anything. Nobody would ever think that an abusive father would spend any money on his children. That was the beauty of the plan.

I was pretty clumsy, anyways. So, nobody really thought anything of my bruises. I did my best to wear clothing that covered as much as possible, though.

I knew this was not a healthy lifestyle at all, but there was nothing I could do. I was 18, and Phil wouldn't allow me to get a job. If I told the police, even though he was the chief of Police in our small town of Forks, Phil would get put away, and then what would happen to me? I had no money to live on my own. I am a legal adult, I wouldn't be put into foster care. I didn't know anybody who would help me out. And who would believe that the chief of police was a criminal himself? So, I stuck around, and waited for the day I could finally be free of this hell. I didn't know when that day would come, but I prayed every single night that it would.

My rusty truck chugged its way into the parking lot of Forks High School. Every morning, other students laughed as I made my appearance. My 1950's Chevrolet truck didn't exactly fit in with all the tiny, new cars that littered the rest of the lot. I sighed under my breath and parked the truck before getting out and shoving my backpack over my shoulders. I hid my face behind my hair so I would be shielded by the rest of the world. I didn't want to look at them, and they sure as hell didn't want to look at me.

I was a nobody in this school. I had no friends. But, I didn't mind. I knew if I let someone in, they would eventually figure out what my life is really like. What Phil really does to me.

So, I stayed silent. I kept my guard up and did my schoolwork, then went home to that house. The one of nothingness. Nothing ever changed. Every day was exactly the same as the previous one. I never experienced a spark of something new or exciting.

As I was walking to my locker, I kept my head down. I didn't want to make eye contact with anybody. However, I should have kept my head up, because I completely ran right into somebody. I was about to fall to the ground when a pair of strong, hard arms caught me and stood me upright. I shivered at the contact, my heart pounding in fear. I hated being touched. It made me think of Phil. I guess you could say I was emotionally ruined.

"Are you alright?" A velvety voice asked with concern. I looked up and was staring into the beautiful green eyes that belonged to Edward Cullen.

Edward Cullen. The boy who could send any girl from Forks High School into cardiac arrest. He was the most popular guy in school, and he had a reason to be. He was charming, smart and nice to everyone he came across. His messy bronze hair was always begging for someone to run their fingers through. His crooked smile was enough to get a girl's panties wet. And his piercing green eyes were mesmerizing. He was so fucking beautiful, it almost hurt to look at him.

"Y-Yeah… I'm fine. Sorry," I mumbled before quickly walking past him and shuffling away. I didn't want to embarrass myself anymore in front of him.

I was blushing like crazy by the time I made it to my locker. Out of all the people I could have run into, of course it was Edward fucking Cullen.

First period was uneventful, per usual. Senior year really was a joke. After first period, which was English, I headed to the next class: trigonometry.

I sat in my seat in the back of the room next to Alice Cullen, Edward's twin sister. She was so friendly, and beautiful. She had light blue eyes and dark short hair that was stuck out at the edges, making her look like she just stepped straight out of a high fashion magazine. Her skin was a beautiful cream color, and her smile was always bright and welcoming.

"Hi!" She chirped and grinned widely at me, as she does every day. Every single day. Alice says hello to me and smiles, and I either smile back or if I gain enough confidence, I say "hi." I had no idea why she was so nice to me, but I wasn't about to ask her. Alice, somehow, made me happy. She was kind of like a light in my dark life. She was the one person to show me any kind of attention, which I was thankful for. Even if it was only one "hello" per day.

I smiled and slightly waved as Mrs. Metler began her lesson. Trig consisted of nothing but notes, as did my next few classes. Before I knew it, I was sitting at my lunch table, alone, as usual. I bit into my apple and glanced around the room before bringing out my journal and writing away. I wrote all the time. Whatever came to my mind ended up on the pages of my journal. I loved it so much. It was my escape, my way of venting. I always lost myself when I was writing. I wrote poetry, short stories, or just entries that consisted of nothing but my inner thoughts.

I wanted nothing more than to go to college for journalism or English and spend the rest of my life writing, but I knew I could never go to college. Phil would never allow me to leave him. He needed someone to beat on.

After finishing my apple, I was still quite hungry. I never packed more than one item for myself, though. Phil got mad if I brought too much food into school. He said the food was for him and that I wasn't allowed to waste it by eating it for myself. I usually ate a piece of fruit or a sandwich at lunch, and Phil's leftovers for dinner. It definitely wasn't much, but it was enough to survive. And, I guess that's what's important.

I had written three pages when the bell rang, indicating lunch was over. I sighed under my breath and closed my journal before shoving it deep into my backpack, protecting it from the cruel world. I threw away my apple core and headed to history.

I took my seat and brought out my homework onto my desk. I looked up as I heard loud, obnoxious giggling at the front of the room. Tanya Denali was hanging off Edward Cullen's arm, laughing flirtatiously at something. He smiled politely at her, but it didn't reach his emerald orbs.

Everyone knew Tanya was in love with Edward, among plenty of other girls in the school. Edward and Tanya weren't dating, but something like that.

I hadn't realized I was staring at Edward until his eyes met mine and he smiled kindly at me, the gesture so utterly common, but amazing to me. I blushed furiously and looked down, hiding behind my hair. I was so embarrassed that Edward had caught me looking at him.

"Okay, kids, settle down!" Mr. Banner called from his desk. He stood in front of the class and waited for the random whispers to disappear.

We began discussing World War II. I actually loved history. I didn't understand why people said it was boring. The events in the past that shaped our current society were so interesting. I couldn't help but feel at peace with terrifying historical events, such as World War II and the Holocaust. I know it sounds weird, but I could relate to it, so I loved hearing about it. It made some of my nerves disappear, knowing that other people in this world were also put through hell by someone of a higher authority. Someone else, somewhere out there in this world, understood me.

"Before the bell rings, let's discuss your next assignment," Mr. Banner suggested near the end of class, causing groans from the students. He ignored them and continued.

"The assignment is to pick any major event, person or place that had a significant impact on society during World War II. Whether it be Hitler, D day, Pearl Harbor, Auschwitz, Anne Frank, you name it. Just come up with a topic and run it by me. After you pick a topic, you are to make an informative slideshow on the topic. I expect the slideshow to be in depth and creative. You are to work with a partner, which I have chosen for you. This project is due on Friday, October 16th. Unfortunately, with midterms coming up soon, I don't have any class time to offer you the chance to work together during class, so you and your partner are going to have to work outside of school."

I felt my heart rate quicken. Sure, I always had group projects, but they were always in-class assignments. I'd never had to work outside of school with anyone. I didn't want to work with anybody. I didn't want to have to talk to anybody. I was going to have to work after school. This was going to be hard to explain to Phil.

"Okay, let me read off the partner list. Mike and Tyler. Ben and Victoria. Eric and Tanya. James and Marcus. Edward and Bella."

I didn't hear any other names after mine was called. I felt my face grow hot as Edward turned in his chair to smile at me, yet again. Edward Cullen was my partner. Out of all people, it had to be him? I mean, don't get me wrong, Edward is a nice guy, but he was so beautiful that he made me nervous. Plus, he was a guy. After my father leaving me before I was even brought into this shitty world, and my stepfather making my life a living hell, it was very hard for me to be around men at times.

"There are five minutes before the bell rings. Why don't you all exchange contact information with your partners and schedule times to work on the project before it is time to go?" Mr. Banner called out. I watched as all the students scattered all over the room, and Edward headed towards me.

"Hi, Bella. Looks like we're partners."

I looked down and nodded. Obviously the best I can do.

"Well, when are you free to work?" He asked as he took the seat next to mine. I got hit with a scent coming off him. A sweet scent. I couldn't quite describe it, but it was amazing.

"Um… uh… whenever," I responded, feeling my face grow hot.

"Okay, how about tomorrow around six PM?"

"Sure, sounds good." I had no idea how I was going to get this past Phil. He came home from work at 5:30, so dinner wouldn't be a problem. Leaving the house, though, would be.

Edward smiled brightly, flashing a set of perfect pearly whites. I was dazzled. "Great! Would you like to work at your house or mine?"

"Yours," I think I answered too quickly.

His brows furrowed in confusion, but he quickly replaced his face with a smile. "Okay. Here's my phone, why don't you program your number into it, and I'll do the same with yours."

I slowly reached into my pocket, reaching for my phone, feeling embarrassed when he handed me a brand new iPhone and I handed him my flip phone that was most likely invented in 1942.

After our exchange of numbers, the bell rang.

"I'll text you my address tomorrow. Bye, Bella," Edward muttered in his smooth, velvety voice and exited the room with grace in each and every one of his steps.

There ya have it! I'm so excited to hear what you guys think of it so far. Let me know! Next chapter will be up very soon :)


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey, guys! I'm so excited for you to read the next chapter of the story. The point of view will change every chapter. Here is Edward's! Let me know what you guys think, and thanks so much to the ones that have showed my story any type of love. I appreciate it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight :((((((

EPOV:

"Edward, time for dinner," my mother, Esme, called from somewhere downstairs. I paused the music that was playing on my laptop and headed downstairs, smelling pasta. My stomach grumbled loudly in fierce agreement.

I took my seat at the table before digging into my meal. I almost moaned at the taste. Mom never disappointed.

"How was school today, kids?" My father, Carlisle, asked from the head of the table as he loaded his bowl with salad. He was still wearing his navy blue scrubs, having just got home from his shift at the hospital.

"Good! I got a ninety-four on my Spanish quiz. And, I had the most amazing salad at lunch. Oh, and Jasper said I can take him to the mall this weekend and pick out his outfit for the homecoming dance. I'm so excited," my twin sister, Alice, babbled. She was always so giddy and happy. I never understood why, but she was. She found happiness in everything and anything. I wish I was like her.

I've been feeling ungrateful lately. I had a great life. Supporting family, wealth, friends and good grades. However, I wasn't happy. I should be, with the good life I have, but lately, I just wasn't. I felt… lonely.

"That's nice, sweetie. What about you, Edward?" Dad asked and looked at me.

"Good," was all I said. He sighed in frustration and continued eating.

My family noticed my unusual behavior lately, but haven't said anything. Occasionally they will ask me what is wrong, and I will say nothing, and the conversation will end. I could tell it hurt them that I was distant. But, I wasn't in the mood to be all happy like Alice. I just wanted to be to myself.

"Someone from school is coming over tomorrow to work on a project for history." I blurted out.

"Who?!" Alice asked excitedly.

"Bella Swan."

Alice clapped her hands, the sound bouncing off the walls. "She's in my trig class! We always say hi. She's so cute."

Alice wasn't wrong. Bella was cute. Her long brown locks framed around her face so beautifully. Her skin was pale and radiant, always looking immensely soft. And let's not forget her eyes. Her gorgeous chocolate-brown eyes.

Bella was so damn shy, and I never knew why. She had the potential to be someone popular, to have any guy she wanted. But, she never talked. I never saw her with anyone. It was even hard to talk to her at times. She always seemed sad and lost, and I never understood why.

After dinner, I climbed the stairs back up to my room and shut the door behind me. I was about to start brainstorming for a topic for the history assignment when my phone vibrated on the nightstand next to my bed.

 _Tanya Denali: Hey babe what r u doing?_

I groaned out loud. Tanya was… overbearing. She seemed to think her and I were dating. She followed me around like a lost puppy and always called me names like "babe" or "sweetie." Just because we hooked up at a few parties when I was drunk out of my mind, does not mean we were dating. I didn't have the heart to tell her this, though.

Tanya wasn't ugly, but she was a bitch. She was one of the most popular girls in school, and she knew this. She let it go to her head. Her friends basically bowed down to her. Tanya had long blonde hair and blue eyes. She was tall and skinny and had curves in all the right places. But, she didn't have natural beauty. She wore a great amount of makeup to make herself look the way she does. I was beginning to suspect that her hair would fall out soon because of the amount of hair dye she pours onto it. She was utterly plastic.

I really wasn't in the mood to talk, so I typed something short, hoping she'd get the hint.

 _Homework_

My phone vibrated again not even 30 seconds later.

 _What about later? U can come over… my parents wont b home until 10…_

I almost laughed out loud. Why did she always want to fuck? It was rather annoying. She had no substance, at all.

 _I have a lot of work to do. Sorry._

 _Ok babe, let me know if u change ur mind_

I placed my phone back on my nightstand, having no intentions of talking to anyone else for the night. I scanned through my history textbook, writing down some of the most popular aspects of WWII. Even though the project wasn't due for two weeks, I wanted to get started early and knock it out of the park. I decided to pick my phone back up and text Bella to ask her what topic she wanted to work on.

 _Hey, Bella. I was just brainstorming on possible topics for the project. Did you have anything in mind?_

I placed my phone next to me, waiting for her to reply. As I waited, I listened to some music. Music always calmed me down and made me feel better. I always seemed to get lost in music. I hadn't realized forty minutes went by before Bella responded.

 _No. Anything is fine._

I scowled at my phone. I was kind of hoping she would pick the topic.

 _Okay. I'm debating on either Hitler, Auschwitz, or Pearl Harbor. Which one seems the best?_

She replied about ten minutes later.

 _Hitler._

School the next day went the same as usual. The first five periods passed by in an annoying blur.

I walked into the cafeteria with Tanya following me helplessly. I rolled my eyes when she started asking me to come over tonight.

"I'm working on the history project tonight, Tanya," I told her as we waited in line in the cafeteria.

"Who's your partner again?"

"Bella Swan," I muttered as I grabbed a plate of chicken nuggets and placed them onto my tray.

"Ew," Tanya murmured under her breath.

I turned around and glared at her. "What do you mean, 'ew'?" I was so annoyed with her cruel and unnecessary behavior.

She rolled her eyes as if I was missing out on some obvious information. "You know what I mean. She's weird."

"What gives you a reason to say that? You don't know her. Why are you so rude to people?" I don't know what made me so angry, but Tanya was such a bitch. She had no right to talk about anyone that way, especially if she didn't know a thing about them.

"Whatever, Eddie. Call me later," she slid her perfectly manicured finger across my chest and waltzed away, violently shaking her hips, causing a lot of guys to look at her with lust in their eyes. I almost laughed out loud at them. She wasn't much to lust for. And, I absolutely loathed when she called me Eddie.

I plopped down at my table with Alice, her boyfriend, Jasper, Emmett McCarthy, and Rosalie Hale- Jasper's twin sister, whom was also Emmett's girlfriend. I think my friend choice was another reason I was so lonely. Don't get me wrong, I loved my friends, but they were all dating one another. I was a fifth wheel a good portion of the time. They tried hooking me up with different girls, but I wasn't interested. I wanted someone intelligent. Someone with substance and worth. Not a blond bimbo who was easy to get into bed with and difficult to have a conversation with.

"What's up, bro?" Emmett asked as I sat down in the chair next to him.

"Nothing," I mumbled.

"What's got your panties in a twist?" Jasper asked as he threw his arm around Alice's shoulder. She relaxed into his embrace, her eyes lighting up like the city that never sleeps at nighttime.

"Tanya's just annoying."

"Why?" Alice asked.

"She just thinks she can talk shit on everybody," I answered as I dipped a nugget into ketchup and popped it into my mouth.

"Who does she even think she is? She's disgusting," Rosalie pointed out as she took a sip of her water bottle.

"I know," I said.

Just like that, both couples were caught in their own little worlds. Emmett was whispering something into Rosalie's ear, causing her to giggle and blush. Alice was talking Jasper's ear off about the Homecoming dance that was in two weeks.

I fiddled with my hands in my lap. I never knew what to do when they did this. I found myself glancing around the cafeteria.

I watched all the students interact with one another, then I saw Bella. She was sitting alone at a table, scribbling furiously into a notebook. Her eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, her lips pursed in determination. She looked really focused on whatever she was doing. I wondered why she sat alone.

Some people enjoy sitting alone, I thought to myself as I turned back to my friends.

After lunch, I headed towards my locker. Tanya was, of course, waiting for me there. I said nothing to her as I opened my locker. I was still annoyed by how shallow she was acting at lunch.

"Are you still mad, babe?"

I grabbed my books and shut my locker, turning towards her with a scowl on my face.

"Why are you calling me that?"

She rolled her eyes. "Why can't I?" Her voice was whiny and pouty, attempting to sound cute. But it just annoyed the living hell out of me.

I pushed my way past her, not bothering to walk with her to history. I heard her yell "Eddie!" from somewhere down the hall, but I ignored her and walked faster. I have no idea how I was supposed to get rid of her. But I knew I had to, I was suddenly growing more annoyed than usual with her antics.

I walked into history and took my seat. Class was nothing but a bunch of note-taking. Before the bell rang, I made sure to stop Bella before she left, spotting her in her usual baggy, worn clothes.

"Hey, we're still on for tonight, right?" I asked after I made my way over to her desk.

She nodded and looked down, focusing her chocolate eyes on her hands that kept folding and unfolding nervously in her lap. I didn't understand why she did that. Why couldn't she just talk to me?

"Okay, I'll text you my address after school. If you happen to get lost, you can call me and I'll try to give you directions."

"Okay," she breathed so quietly I barely heard. I gave her a small smile before leaving the room.

I took a shower and did some other homework before Bella came over. I wondered if she was going to talk much tonight. Would she open up since it was just me and her, and not the rest of the school around to judge her? I hoped she would. I really wanted to get this project done soon.

I hopped out of the shower and checked my phone. It was 5:45 now and I had a text message from Bella waiting to be read on my phone.

 _I'm leaving my house now. See you soon._

She'd sent that five minutes ago. She should be here soon.

I changed into dark-washed jeans and a plain black T-shirt and did my best to tame my messy hair. Five minutes later, I sighed when I realized nothing was going to change. I ran my fingers through it one last time and headed downstairs.

"Is your friend on her way, son?" Dad asked as he flipped through the channels on the TV, sporting a pair of typical "Dad" flannel pajama pants.

"Yes."

"I made some snacks for you two to eat while you work. I hope she likes snicker doodles," Mom brought in a plate of the delicious cookies, the sweet smell filling my nostrils. I smiled kindly towards her. She was the sweetest woman in the world. I didn't deserve her graciousness.

A few minutes later a soft knock on the front door broke me out of my thoughts. Bella was standing outside, hiding behind her hair. She looked frustrated. Sad. Angry. It bothered me. Did she not want to be here? I mean I know homework is a pain in the ass, but I didn't think I was too bad of a partner.

"Hello, come on in," I tried to sound as nice as possible.

She hesitantly stepped inside. As I led her throughout my house, she looked around in awe. Her eyes darted all over the room, wide with amazement, I presumed. Our house was pretty grand. Mom made it look great when she had designed it.

"Hello, dear. I'm Esme, Edward's mother. It's so nice to meet you," Mom welcomed Bella, holding her hand out to shake it.

Bella smiled shyly and shook her hand. "Nice to meet you, too."

Mom handed Bella the plate of cookies. "I made you and Edward a snack. I hope you enjoy it! It's my secret recipe," Mom winked at Bella.

As Bella took the plate, she looked down at the cookies with sadness. I swear I heard a whimper come out of her throat and saw tears well in her eyes. She blinked rapidly and smiled at Mom in thanks, but it didn't reach her doe-like eyes.

"Hi, Bella!" Alice greeted as she bounced into the room, smiling kindly.

"Hello, Alice."

"Why don't we go upstairs and work in my room, Bella?" I suggested, deciding to save Bella before Alice tried to descend on her with talk of fashion and makeup. She nodded and followed me up to my room.

As I sat down on my bed, I noticed Bella curiously browsing through my music collection on my shelves.

"Debussy?" She pointed to a CD, catching me by surprise.

I felt my face grow hot in embarrassment. Nobody really knew about my love for the piano. Nobody expected Edward Cullen to be into such music. They probably expected me to have CD's of artists like Drake, or shit like that, like other kids my age. Yeah, right.

"Yeah, I love his work."

"Me, too," Bella muttered and toyed with the CD, running her fingers up and down the cover.

"You know him?" I was amazed. I never in my life thought I would meet someone my age who appreciated his music.

"Yeah," was all she muttered. She then picked up another CD. It was an old Rolling Stones CD.

"You like the Rolling Stones?"

I nodded. "Yeah, they're great. I love rock and alternative, even grungy shit, too. So much better than the shit they play these days about getting girls and money and sipping cough syrup. Older music is the best."

"I like it, too. Your Eminem collection is astounding, as well."

"Finally, someone that understands me!" I enthused, pumping my fists in the air in victory. She giggled softly and nodded. The sound was musical.

Okay. This girl had kick-ass taste in music. I grinned widely as she sat down on the other end of my bed, nervously glancing around the room before placing her backpack protectively by her side.

It was too quiet in here. I got up and played a mixtape I made of some of my favorite songs as background noise. Bella seemed to loosen up when she heard a Coldplay song. The muscles in her body seemed to relax and a small smile played on her lips.

"So, why don't we get started?' I suggested as I grabbed a cookie and offered it to her. She smiled a small smile and grabbed it before taking a small bite.

"Wow, these are good," she muttered as her head nodded to the beat of the music. I don't think she even noticed it, but I did.

My phone vibrated next to me. I glanced down at it.

 _Lauren Mallory: Heyy_

I put my phone on silent and placed it on the nightstand. I wasn't in the mood for pathetic girls.

"So, what are your opinions on Hitler?" I asked as I grabbed my laptop and opened a word document. I was planning on writing a few key ideas down.

"He's a genius," she said, taking me by surprise. A genius? Adolf Hitler had killed 6 million Jews, and then some. How could she say he was a genius?

She must have noticed my confusion, because she added in a small voice "an evil genius. I mean, he was able to brainwash a whole entire country into following his ways and completely agreeing with his beliefs, even though they were twisted and horrible. Only someone smart can do that. He spoke with so much determination and passion, that people felt they had to follow him. He was brilliant, he just used his intelligence in a terrible way. He knew exactly how to use the weakness and devastation of Germany post World War One in his dictatorship."

I felt my eyes widen. I never really thought of it that way. I've never heard anyone claim Adolf Hitler as a genius. But, as Bella talked, I realized she was right. He was a genius.

"Okay, so we got something interested and unexpected to work with. Mr. Banner will definitely like that," I smiled in her direction. She blushed and looked down at her hands again while I was wondering why the sight of her porcelain skin blushing deep scarlet caused my mouth to water. I typed away on my laptop while Bella stayed silent, still glancing around my room.

"What are you thinking?" The words flew out of my mouth before I could even stop them. I mentally scolded myself for attempting to invade her thoughts. It was just that I usually could read people very well, but I couldn't with Bella.

She flushed tomato-red. "You just have a really nice house."

"Oh, well, thanks."

She nodded in return. I looked back down at my laptop.

"So, we should most likely start at the very beginning of Hitler's life, right?" I prompted.

"That's probably smart."

"Okay, I'll look up his birthdate and place," I suggested. Bella nodded in agreement and grabbed her history textbook from her backpack. She crossed her legs on my bed and nervously glanced towards the plate of cookies. She thought I didn't notice, but I did.

"You may have another one, Bella," I chuckled. She smiled shyly and hesitantly reached for the cookies.

"These are amazing."

We ended up finishing up three slides containing information on Hitler's early life. Around 7:15 PM, we decided three was enough for now. We made plans to work on the project again on Thursday.

"Well, I'll see tomorrow, Bella," I bid as I walked her to the front door. I almost laughed out loud when I saw her huge rusty truck in my driveway. The thought of tiny Bella driving that monster amused me.

"Bye, Edward. Thanks for having me over and being so kind."

"Of course," I breathed. She smiled and waved before heading out into the rainy night, pulling her hood over her head to protect her long curls from the evils of Mother Nature.

Next chapter up soon! Leave a review :)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey, I'm back! I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I had a lot of fun reading it. I'm glad you guys seem to be enjoying the story so far :) Please continue to review and let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine

BPOV

I felt my heart racing deep in my chest as I parked my truck in the driveway and headed inside. I was nervous to see what was waiting for me on the other end of the door.

I hesitantly unlocked the door and quietly stepped inside, praying Phil was passed out drunk and wouldn't hear my presence. He did not take my plans of heading to Edward's very well, as expected.

-Flashback-

I paced back and forth in my bedroom. It was 5:20. Dinner was in the oven and would be ready in a few moments. Phil had to be on his way home. I didn't know how to inform him of my plans to leave the house for the project. I have never asked him for permission to leave the house, ever. I was frightened to the point of feeling today's lunch rise from my stomach into my throat. I swallowed it down and decided to suck it up and do it. I've been beaten before, it wasn't anything new. I could take it.

I pulled the pot roast out of the oven and stacked it onto a plate, along with corn and mashed potatoes. I grabbed a beer from the fridge and set everything on the table for him.

Four slow minutes later, I heard the front door open and then bang shut, his filthy boots stomping towards the kitchen. Each step somehow sounded louder than the last. He looked at me with distaste in his eyes.

"Sir?" I called out as he speared a piece of pot roast into his mouth.

He glared at me, his bushy eyebrows receding into the crease of his eyelids. "What?"

I fiddled my thumbs nervously. "Well, I was, um, a-assigned a history project today that is to be worked on…uh…out of c-class and with a partner. I am supposed to head over t-to Dr. Cullen's tonight at six PM to work on the project with his son, Edward."

His silverware clanked loudly as he dropped it onto the table. "You're trying to leave the house?"

I didn't answer.

He sauntered towards me, an evil smile playing on his lips. His face was only inches of mine; his wretched breath blowing in my face.

"Why did you choose a boy to be your partner? You're a filthy slut," he boomed before punching me in the gut. I doubled over in pain.

"We didn't get… t-to choose our partners, sir. They w-were assigned to us," I mumbled breathlessly, clutching at the spot he rammed his fist into.

"Whatever, bitch. Don't complain to me if you whore around and get knocked up." He grabbed my shoulders now and pinched roughly. I winced in pain, but held back the tears. "I will find out if there actually is a project to be working on. If not, you will pay." He shoved me into the counter, forcing the granite deeply into my back. I shut my eyes and prayed for the pain to go away as he dismissed me from the kitchen.

-End of Flashback-

"Isabella," I heard his demonic voice call from the living room. He sang my name, acting as if he was sweet. He was mocking me.

"Yes, sir?" I inquired as I stepped into the living room, strategically placing myself as close to the door as I possibly could.

"How was working on that project?" He sneered the words at me and slowly crept towards me, fury evident in his lifeless brown eyes. The smirk on his face caused me to shiver intensely.

"Good, s-sir. It's coming along w-well."

He nodded without interest and grabbed me by the hair, throwing me onto the carpet. That was going to give me a major headache.

"Just so you know, I emailed your history teacher pretending to be you. I asked him to clarify the due date of the project, and he did. So, if you claim to be working on a project any time after the 16th, I'll know you're lying. Do you understand me? Don't think you can use this project as an excuse to leave this house for any longer than need be. The only reason I'm letting you leave this house is because people would wonder why you're not allowed to work on a project. Nobody can know a thing, got that?" He grabbed me by my biceps and squeezed so hard, I thought I was going to burst. He pulled me onto my feet and shoved me toward the stairs.

"Now, get out of my face for the rest of the night," his words dripped of pure hatred. I nodded and sprinted up the stairs. I locked myself into my bedroom and plopped onto my bed, welcoming the tears as they flowed down my cheeks. I reached into my backpack and pulled out what I was looking for.

Edward had given me the last cookie that his mother had made for us. I stared at it for what seemed like hours, memorizing the shape, color, and amount of cinnamon baked onto the top. I knew I would never be able to enjoy something so sweet and homemade from the heart ever again, so I savored every moment I had with it. I closed my eyes and felt the tears run down my face as I took a bite of the cookie, moaning quietly at the amazing taste.

Edward's Mom made me depressed. That sounds bad, but it's true. Walking into his house and seeing a loving mother handing cookies out made my heart break, because I knew I could never have something like that. She was a beautiful woman, and I have nothing like her. I did, but I never will again.

After I, unfortunately, finished the cookie, I heard the door slam and Phil's engine roar to life. He was headed to the bar, per usual. I smiled widely and reached into my backpack, pulling out my journal. I only wrote when Phil wasn't around. I didn't want him ever sneaking up on me while I wrote. He would definitely kill me if he read the words I scribbled onto the pages.

After writing for about a half hour, I did some homework and took a hot shower. As I was showering, I noticed bruises were forming on my shoulders and arms, where Phil had grabbed me forcefully. I padded downstairs after the shower and grabbed some ice, gingerly placing it on my skin before going to bed.

As I laid in bed, I found my thoughts drifting to Edward. He was so… different from everyone else at school. He was kind, gentle. Everybody else thought of me as a freak. You would think, since Edward was the most popular guy in school, he would be the ring leader of the bullies. But, he wasn't. I have no clue why, but he wasn't.

 _I was locked in a dark room. Where I was, was completely uncertain. I looked around in the darkness frantically, but found nothing. I screamed and cried, but there was tape placed tightly over my lips. I had a feeling nobody could hear my desperate pleas for help. The floor was cold like cement; goosebumps ran up and down the length of my body. The only reason I was warm was because of the hot tears soaking my face._

 _A door suddenly opened, revealing a figure. I blinked away the tears in an effort to better depict the person, but I knew this was unnecessary. I knew who this monster was before he even opened the fucking door._

" _Isabella," he whispered in my ear, his hot breath poisoning my skin._

" _Now you know to never try to get away from me. I told you what would happen, but you still did it. You're a stupid girl," he murmured, running his fingers roughly through my knotted hair. I winced and shut my eyes, hoping my mind would show me something pleasant._

 _I opened my eyes to see the lights were on, and he was stalking towards me with a giant knife in his grubby hands._

 _Suddenly, Edward ran into the room and knocked Phil off his feet, shoving him into the wall. Phil's head was covered in blood from hitting the concrete wall with such an amount of force._

 _He threw a few heavy punches into Phil's face, knocking him out completely. I felt nothing but happiness when I saw the blood oozing down his filthy skin._

 _Edward looked over at me, fury in his gorgeous eyes. When he saw me, his eyes softened and a look of pain flickered in them. I wanted the look of sadness to leave his eyes. He was too beautiful to be sad._

" _I'm here now, Bella," he whispered before pulling me into his arms._

I awoke with a jump. I looked around the room and realized it was only a dream. Sweat covered my forehead and tears littered my face. I wiped the wetness away and sauntered into the bathroom.

As I got ready for school, I couldn't help but wonder why Edward was in my dream. Was it because I had been with him last night? Yes, that must be it.

I got dressed in another one of my infamous oversized sweaters and faded jeans that barely fit me anymore. It was always very difficult to get new clothes. Phil gave me $150 once a year to buy clothes, and that money had to be spent on every season of the year. I usually ended up shopping at the thrift store, so I could get as much as possible with the money.

After changing, I grabbed my backpack and bounced downstairs happily. Phil always left for work a little before I woke up, so I could at least have a little something for breakfast.

I chose a granola bar- something too small for him to get mad about- and headed out to the truck.

I stayed in the truck as long as I possibly could after pulling into the parking lot of the school. I yanked out one of my favorite books, Wuthering Heights, and read until I heard the ten minute bell ring. I grumbled in anger and tossed my book into my backpack, preparing to face the real world.

"Hey, Swan. That sweater looks great on you," Tanya Denali called as she walked past me with her friends, Jessica Stanley and Leah Clearwater. Sarcasm tucked inside her nasally voice. I hid behind my hair and shuffled away. I reminded myself to not let her words bother me as I made my way to my locker.

First period was boring, like always. As I walked into second period, Alice Cullen was smiling warmly at me, per usual. I smiled back and took my seat.

"Hey, Bella!"

"Hello," I murmured.

"When are you coming over again?!" She asked curiously.

"Tomorrow."

She clapped her hands in excitement. "Yay! You should hangout with me for a little after you're done working on the project. I would love to show you my room. I have so many clothes that I thought would fit me, but they don't. You should try them on!"

I felt my pulse quicken. What if the clothes didn't cover the bruises? Maybe I could think of an excuse to get myself out of it.

I smiled politely. "Sounds nice."

She grinned, clearly proud of herself, as the lesson began. I couldn't help but wonder why Alice wanted to give me clothes. Was the fact that I wore the same few baggy outfits really that offending to the public eye?

As I plopped at my usual lunch table, I retrieved my journal out of my backpack and found the nearest blank page. I told my journal about Phil's threats he had given me last night, and how much pain I was in from his abuse. However, the main topic of my journal was not, for once, Phil. I found myself writing about Edward. I couldn't seem to stop. I just had so much to say.

Nobody has ever paid as much attention to me in my life. I mean, I know he has to due to the fact that I'm his partner, but he treats me as more than a partner. He treats me with… hospitality. Something I have never seen in my life. He talks to me about other things besides the project as if he wants to understand me. I made sure to share that with my journal.

As I took the last bite of the PB&J sandwich I had packed, I found myself smiling. I felt so stupid, really. I mean, I was smiling because I got partnered with a beautiful boy who appreciated the same music as me and also gave me cookies. It probably is normal life situations- but not for me. It was truly a blessing.

I looked over at Edward's table and felt my smile grow even more. He was laughing at something one of his friends had said. The huge grin on his face was breathtaking. He looked so happy… so free.

I hadn't seen Edward that happy in a while- at least from when I would admire from afar. He's looked troubled lately. But, it appears as though his guards are down.

It's almost as if he read my thoughts, because his eyes drifted to mine and he smiled brightly. I quickly looked away, having been caught staring at him. I don't need him to think I'm a freak, just like everyone else in this school does.

"Sir?" I called as I crept hesitantly into the kitchen, watching Phil devour his cheeseburger, grease seeping into the pores on the wrinkly, tired skin around his lips.

He didn't respond, choosing to glare at me instead.

"I just wanted to i-inform you that I'm heading over to the Cullen's soon…for the project."

"Whatever. Be home in time to clean the house. I want it spotless in here, and that's your job," he snarled the words in my direction. I simply nodded and scurried out of the room, heading upstairs to grab my backpack before going to Edward's.

I felt… peaceful as I drove through the windy streets. Phil didn't touch me at all today. He didn't complain about my food. He didn't even get mad that I'm going to Edward's. I mean, he knows about the project, but still. I was in a good mood, and I haven't felt this way in a while. I was going to savor it.

After about ten minutes, I found myself gliding down the Cullen's never-ending driveway, headed to their miraculous mansion. I still can't believe this is where they live. They have it so easy. I hope they never take their lives for granted.

I got out of the truck and headed up the stairs to the porch, stumbling on the way, but catching myself before smoothing out my sweater and knocking on the mahogany door.

The door was pulled open to reveal little Alice beaming. She grabbed my arm forcefully and yanked me inside. I almost yelped in pain. Alice provided pressure onto my bruises, and it hurt like hell. But, I had to stop the tears. I didn't want them to think badly of me.

"Alice! Let me out of here. She's over here for me, not you!" I heard Edward's muffled voice shouting from somewhere in the house, but I didn't see him at all. I raised my eyebrow in question.

"I locked him in the basement," Alice waved her hand like it was nothing.

"Why?"

"Because I want to hangout with you, too, and he's gonna try to 'save you from my clutches'," she put air quotes around the words. I couldn't stop the chuckle from escaping my lips.

"Come on, it'll be quick! I just want you to see my room and try on some clothes," she announced before taking my hand and dancing up the stairs.

"You're really gonna leave him down there?" I found myself laughing harder now. Their sibling rivalry was highly amusing.

"Oh, he'll be fine. He's got the big screen TV, the comfy couches, the pool table, and the workout space down there."

I shrugged and followed Alice into her room. It was rather beautiful. Her walls were a light purple shade, with white lights dangling all around the tops. On the left wall sat a huge TV with two shelves standing next to it, all filled with movies and CD cases. The right wall held a stereo system, with a door next to it that led into a private bathroom. The carpet was a light gray, and the huge bed placed against the back wall held a black and white comforter. There were pictures and colorful tapestries all over the walls.

In the back corner, next to the window, was another door. Alice smirked at me before gliding over to the door and opening it, revealing an enormous walk-in closet. I walked inside and felt my jaw drop. The place was cluttered with so much clothing and shoes. There had to be thousands upon thousands of dollars' worth of attire right in front of my eyes.

"Wow, Alice. How did you manage this?"

She giggled. "I'm a Daddy's girl."

I felt a pang in my heart, but forced it away. I didn't need to pity myself right now.

"So, before you came, I put all the clothes that don't fit me onto this shelf," she pointed to a bag on one of the very many shelves.

"Why did you buy clothes that are too big for you anyway?" I challenged.

"They were too beautiful to resist, and none of them were in my size. I thought I could either try to shrink them or give them away to someone who could make use of them."

I nodded in understanding and watched as Alice retrieved the bag and pushed it into my arms, shoving me into the bathroom. I couldn't help but envy the fact that she had enough money to buy clothes that she knew may never fit her anyway.

"Try them all on and show me how you look in them! It'll be a fashion show," she winked and shut the door behind me.

I looked through the bag and only paid attention to the items that would cover my bruises. I was not about to show them to Alice. If she were to ask why I wasn't trying on the shorts or short sleeves, I would lie and say I was cold or something.

For some reason, I held no fear or hesitation towards Alice. I knew that she was far too kind and bubbly to show me any type of harm or disrespect. I really liked her.

I pulled a cashmere midnight blue sweater out of the bag, snaking it around my body. It fit perfectly, although I knew I would have to hide it from Phil. It showed too much cleavage.

Just as I was about to try on a pair of black skinny jeans, I heard Edward's voice.

"You're evil. What did you do to her? Shove her into that black hole of a closet?"

I heard a slap and then Edward screech "ow!" I stifled a giggle.

"How did you get out?" Alice sounded annoyed.

"Mom heard me yelling."

"Well, Bella's trying on clothes in the bathroom."

"Ugh, leave her alone, Alice! She's not a Barbie doll," he exclaimed, clearly agitated. I decided to save Alice from her brother's anger, so I quickly hiked the jeans up and buttoned them before opening the door.

Both their heads turned towards me.

Alice's face lit up like a Christmas tree, and she clapped her hands in approval.

Edward's eyes were wide with surprise. His mouth was open in awe, but he quickly closed it and grinned crookedly. I blushed and looked down, staring at my feet.

"Bella, you look hot," Alice chimed, clearly pleased with herself.

"It's just an outfit," I muttered.

"No, Bella, Alice is right. You look beautiful," Edward's voice was soft and smooth. I snapped my head up and met his beautiful eyes. He looked happy.

Could he really mean that? No, he was just being nice. I mentally scolded myself for even considering the fact that Edward Cullen could ever think I was beautiful.

"Thanks."

"Come on, Bella, let's go before Alice tries to take you to the mall," Edward gently grabbed my hand. The touch sent a wild shock through my body. I wondered if he felt it, too.

"Whatever, Edward. One of these days Bella is going to come over and it's going to be to hangout with me, not to work on your project," she called as we left the room. I felt a stab in my chest, knowing that could never happen.

"Sorry about her," Edward apologized as he led me into his room. I smiled before sitting on the edge of his bed, pulling my textbook out of my bag.

"Are you ready to get shit done?" Edward asked playfully, waltzing gracefully toward his stereo system and playing another mixtape. I felt my tensed muscles relax at the sound of Coldplay. I loved them and I loved Edward for playing them so often.

"You seem to really enjoy them," Edward observed with a playful smirk on his face.

"Can you blame me?" I challenged. How could you not like Coldplay?

"Not at all. They're even better live."

"Ugh, I would kill to see them live," I dreamed. I don't know how I was being so talkative. I just felt great.

"You mean to tell me that you're as big of a fan as you claim, yet you haven't seen them in concert?" Edward exasperated, his voice rising in disbelief. His eyes were wide, but his smile was mischievous.

I grew upset, knowing I could never see them in concert. I knew Edward was teasing me, he didn't know my reasoning behind not purchasing a ticket.

"I just never found the opportunity."

He rubbed his chin in wonder. "Hmmm… Okay, here's an idea. If we get an A on this project, I will buy us both tickets to see them next time they come to Seattle. Deal?" He reached his hand across the bed, offering me a handshake in order to seal the deal. I gazed at his long fingers and immediately lectured myself for imagining the things they were capable of.

I already knew Coldplay wasn't coming back to Seattle for another year and half. Edward will definitely forget by then. No harm in making this promise that I can't keep.

I smirked and took his hand. "Deal."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hey guys! I hope you are all doing well. :) So, this chapter is a bit shorter, but I feel as though you will enjoy it! I'm always grateful for the kind words and support that you all show towards my story! It means a lot to me. As always, leave a review and let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight :(

EPOV

I groaned in frustration as I tossed in my bed, yet again, and tried falling asleep. It's been two hours and I still haven't dozed off. I couldn't go to sleep. My mind was swimming with too many thoughts.

For some reason, I couldn't stop thinking of Bella. She had been so different tonight. She was in a more playful, happy mood. I've never seen her that way. I wondered why she always hid that side of herself. If she didn't hide it so often, she would definitely be easier to be friends with.

And she looked… beautiful. So beautiful. When she waltzed out of Alice's bathroom in that outfit, I couldn't stop myself from ogling her. Bella had always been known to wear oversized clothes. I have never seen her in tight clothes, but I was sure glad I did. The sweater hugged all her curves in all the right places, and seeing her cleavage made my cock grow hard. I was acting like a typical teenage boy, but I couldn't stop myself. She looked simply ravishing.

I wanted to know more of her. She was such a kind, caring person. Yet, she was also very mysterious. What was she hiding under those baggy clothes and that painful frown? I intended to find out, because someone as beautiful as Bella should never have to experience any form of pain. She was a mystery, and this was one mystery I just had to solve.

"Good morning," I chirped as I entered the kitchen before school, grazing my Mom's cheek with a kiss. I watched as she smiled brightly, her eyes shining with bliss. She was always the most upset when I was distant or in a bad mood. She tried many times to talk to me about it, but I always shut her out. It always made me feel like shit, but I just didn't know what to fucking say to her.

"You seem to be in a good mood." I didn't want to tell her the reason behind my good mood was because I had been plotting to become closer to Bella. So, I just replied "yup."

"That's good, honey. I got to run, I'll see you after school. Love you!" She hugged me quickly before throwing her empty yogurt container into the garbage and waltzing out the door after grabbing her expensive-ass purse. I remember Dad was cringing for about two days after he had bought it for her.

"You ready?" Alice bounced down the stairs. I nodded as I grabbed a banana for myself and an apple for Alice. I led the way to my Volvo and sped towards the school after we were both buckled in.

"What's with you today?" Alice observed, staring at my face in concentration.

I rolled my eyes. "What? A guy can't be in a good mood?"

"Well, it's certainly refreshing since you've been in a funk for a while now. What got you all happy again?"

I frowned in annoyance. "Nothing."

"You know I'm gonna end up finding out anyway, so you might as well tell me now and get it over with," Alice warned before taking a bite of her apple.

"It's really nothing, Alice."

"Maybe you're finally getting over-"

"Ugh, Alice!" I interrupted. She knew I fucking hated hearing _her_ name. "Can we please not get into that right now? You just said that I'm in a good mood. Let's not ruin it."

"Yeah, sure," she muttered, and then turned up the volume on the radio, indicating the conversation was over. I felt bad for my outburst, but my anger was never under control when I thought of _her._

The rest of the ride was spent in silence, besides my radio playing music from Alice's phone through the Bluetooth. She was obsessing over Sam Smith lately. I pulled into the spot next to Jasper's car, watching as Alice all but ran out of the car and into his waiting arms. I smiled at their happiness.

"What's up, bro?" Jasper asked as I got out of the car.

"Not much. How was the fancy dinner last night?" Jasper and Rosalie's Dad was an extremely successful business man. He was kind of like a mini Donald Trump – always investing his money in new projects such as hotels and country clubs. Jasper and Rosalie were always forced into banquets and galas and fancy dinners, much to Rosalie's enjoyment and Jasper's distaste. Rosalie loved getting dolled up and living in the princess world, while Jasper would rather chill at home and watch TV. I didn't fucking blame him.

"It was alright. My back still fucking hurts from keeping my posture upright."

I chuckled. "It must suck to be you."

"You're telling me. As much as I love my family, I can't wait to go to college far away and get the fuck away from all these pretentious events."

"I hear ya, man," I agreed.

"Baby, who are you waving to?" Jasper asked as he and I looked around the parking lot after noticing Alice waving her hand in the air excitedly.

"Bella, she just pulled in!" Alice was smiling in the direction behind me. I turned my head and noticed Bella getting out of her rusty old truck and waving shyly at Alice with a small smile toying on her lips. She wore baggy clothes again, yet she didn't look as miserable as usual. I was glad to see that. I felt a smile grow onto my face without being able to control it.

The first few periods passed by quickly, and I was feeling excited as I headed towards the cafeteria for lunch. I was thinking of ways to get closer to Bella and help her while I sat through my earlier classes, and I decided I would at least sit with her at lunch today. I would try to strike up some conversations and get her to at least like me a little more.

I headed in line and grabbed a ham and cheese sandwich, along with some fries and mixed fruit. I paid the cashier and scanned the cafeteria, searching for Bella. It didn't take long to find her, she was the only person in the whole fucking room sitting alone. She was writing in that same notebook, her forehead creased in concentration. My heart broke a little to see her by herself. She was always alone.

Well, that was going to change.

I took a deep breath and walked slowly towards her table. I felt nervous, which was unusual for me. It was just that Bella could be so intimidating because she always seemed miserable and uninterested in others.

I cleared my throat as I approached the table. She whipped her head up in surprise and closed her notebook quickly, causing a loud smacking noise to hit my ears.

"Hi, Bella, I was wondering if I could sit with you today?" I asked, using my most polite face.

I watched her eyes narrow in confusion, but nonetheless, she shook her head 'yes' and motioned for me to sit with her. I chose the chair directly across from hers. I didn't want to freak her out.

"How are you today?" I asked nonchalantly as I picked at my sandwich.

"I'm okay," her small voice was just above a whisper. I almost had to ask her to repeat herself.

"Why don't you have any food?"

She looked down and fiddled her thumbs, biting her lip softly. Her lips looked so fucking soft. "I'm not hungry."

"You sure?" I pressed. She nodded in reply.

I racked my brain for something to talk about. The silence was a tad awkward, and I was not going to be able to figure Bella out or gain her trust if I couldn't even talk to her.

"I think your girlfriend is mad," I heard her say quietly. I tilted my head to the side and gave her a confused look. What was she talking about?

Bella noticed my confusion and pointed behind me. "Tanya is giving me the death glare."

I turned my head slowly and groaned as I saw Tanya saunter over towards us, her hips shaking with force. Her eyes screamed rage.

"Edward, what are you doing?" She whined while standing between Bella and me, placing her hands on her hips for dramatic emphasis. I stole a glance towards Bella and saw her cheeks were bright red, a scared expression written on her face.

"I'm eating lunch, Tanya, what about you?" I asked sarcastically as I bit into my sandwich and smiled at her, but my smile was nowhere near polite or happy.

"You must have heard me wrong. I'm asking why you are sitting here with _her_." She pointed at Bella with a look of disgust on her face. I felt my anger rise. How dare she be so rude and disrespectful towards someone so innocent and fragile?

"Because she's my friend, is there a problem with that?" I countered. It felt wrong speaking to Tanya this way- I was raised to never disrespect a woman. But, then again, it felt fucking right speaking to Tanya this way.

She flipped her fake blond hair and rolled her eyes. "Actually, yeah, there is a problem with that. I really don't like it when you choose to hang out with other girls, especially ones like that," she said as she waved in Bella's direction.

Whatever anger I was previously feeling, was very escalated now. I looked at Bella and saw her looking down into her lap with the most defeated, sad expression on her face.

I turned back to Tanya. "Tanya, what the fuck is wrong with you? First of all, you and I are not dating and never were, so there is absolutely no reason for you to even remotely have the idea that you have the right to tell me who I can and cannot spend time with. Also, what do you mean 'ones like that'? Bella is way more kind, intelligent, and real than you can only wish to be. You think you're better than her because you have fake blond hair, fake nails, and a fake tan? Bella has something called natural beauty, inside and out. So, yeah, I would much rather spend time with her over you any day of the week. Now, please, go away."

Tanya grumbled and stomped her feet before flipping Bella and I off and sauntering away, tossing her hair dramatically. I sighed under my breath and instantly felt scared for Bella's reaction. Would she think I was rude? Or a hero for defending her?

I looked over at her and saw tears welling in her big, brown eyes. She looked like a scared kitten.

"Bella, I'm so sorry for her behavior. Are you okay?"

She nodded, the movement causing the tears to fall from her eyes onto the table. I fought the urge to wipe her tears away; she should never have to cry. "Yeah, I'm just… overwhelmed, I guess."

"Well, you don't have to feel sad about what Tanya said, she's just a jealous bitch."

She giggled softly and wiped her tears. "No, that's not why I'm crying. I don't care what she thinks of me."

"Then what is it?"

"Nobody has ever stood up for me before," her voice was just above a whisper.

I felt a pang in my heart. How could I have been so oblivious to this? Bella has gone to school with me for years and I am now just noticing how unfairly she is treated.

Then, it hit me. That's why Bella is always so miserable and alone. Everybody bullied her. Why, though? It's not like she was involved in those typical cliques that get picked on in the movies. She wasn't weird or anything. She was just quiet.

"Do people always treat you like that?"

She blushed and fiddled her thumbs again. "Not all the time, but it does happen. Thank you for sticking up for me, it means a lot."

I grabbed her hand from across the table and felt a spark of electricity. I ignored it and looked into her eyes when she looked up. I needed her to listen to me.

"Bella, from now on, please come to me if anybody is being rude or disrespectful to you. I will help you handle it, okay?" I pressed.

She gasped slightly and shook her head, letting go of my hand. My palms felt so cold and empty after losing her gentle touch. That's fucking weird.

"I can't ask you to do that, Edward. Really, I've been getting by on my own my whole life. I'll be okay."

"But that's the problem. You shouldn't be 'getting by' by allowing people to treat you this way. If you don't stand up for yourself, I will. You don't deserve to have to deal with anybody's shit. Please, allow me to help you out. Honestly, you're such a sweet person and I can't stand to see people walk all over you." I looked deeply into her eyes, so she would know I was being truthful and serious.

She blushed again, something that was truly beautiful, and smiled sadly.

"I don't want to be anybody's burden," she whispered.

"You're not a burden, you're my friend. And friends don't let friends get treated that way. Okay?"

She sighed in defeat and nodded, her long, dark hair bouncing around her small face.


	5. Chapter 5

Hi everyone! Here's a new chapter for you guys. It's a long one, so I hope you enjoy it! Things will start heating up soon. Let me know what you think! As always, thank you for your support. Review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

BPOV

As I drove home from school, I could not get Edward off my mind. That probably wasn't a good thing.

How could I agree to let him help me out? I can't do that. The closer anybody gets to me, the closer they are to the truth. I can't allow anybody to discover what Phil does to me. He will literally kill me. If I wasn't careful around Edward from now on, he would figure it out. He would either see a bruise, see something about Phil in my journal, or just put the pieces together on his own. Edward is a very smart guy. I know he is completely capable of figuring out what goes on at home.

But, the way Edward defended me made me feel ways I haven't felt in years. I felt… cared for and respected. I haven't felt those things since Mom was alive. I didn't want today to be the last time I feel that way. I was so emotionally unstable because of Phil that I needed a friend the way I needed air and food. I simply couldn't reject Edward's offer of being my friend. My head told me it was a bad idea, to back out now and completely forget about Edward.

However, my heart told me to let him into my life, even if it was just a little bit. My heart told me to accept his friendship. I will just have to be extremely careful.

And they say to listen to your heart, right?

I stirred the taco meat in the pan, preparing Phil's dinner. I hummed softly to myself as I cooked. I was in a rather good mood after allowing myself to befriend Edward. I knew it wouldn't be a typical friendship, but it was something. Something I was extremely grateful for.

I grabbed the head of lettuce out of the fridge and began breaking it up into small pieces for the tacos. I was thinking of ideas for the history project when I heard Phil's car pull into the driveway. I quickly placed some meat into the soft taco shells and sprinkled lettuce, cheese and onions on top before he walked into the door. I set the food on the table as I heard his boots stomping towards the kitchen.

He looked at the table and froze in his place, glaring menacingly at the plate of food. I felt my heart rate quicken. Did I do something wrong to the tacos? Lettuce, cheese, onions... that's the way he likes them. I didn't fuck them up.

"Isabella, what the hell is this?" He growled, pointing his dirty fingers at the plate. I began to literally shake in fear.

"Tacos, s-sir," I stuttered pathetically.

He walked across the room and grabbed my shirt, throwing me against the wall roughly. I smacked my head and instantly felt the headache.

"You're so fucking stupid! I sent you a text message telling you I want steak and you can't even listen to that? What is wrong with you? You're so useless that you can't even read a text off a phone that I provided for you." He was screaming in my face, his breath smelled of stale beer. I closed my eyes and waited for it.

He punched my gut, causing me to double over in pain. He then grabbed my hair and used it to throw me onto the ground. I smacked my face on the hardwood floor and smelled blood coming from my nose.

He grabbed my shoulder and forced me up.

"I do so much nice shit for you. I bought you a car, a laptop, a cell phone, and I give you money for clothes every fucking year and this is how you repay me?" He bellowed, his voice echoing throughout the house as he pulled at my hair roughly.

"Tell me right now why you didn't do what I asked."

I began trembling, tears threatening to spill over. I couldn't cry though, he would get even madder.

"I apologize, sir. I- my phone was dead and I did not see y-your text. I am so-so sorry. I could make you a steak now if-if you would like."

He laughed darkly and kicked my shin. I yelped out in pain and let a few tears fall as I hid behind my hair. I would definitely have to sneak downstairs later and get some ice for that.

"It's no use now. Make sure to make me steak tomorrow or you will get it, now get out of my sight." He pushed me roughly and I flew across the room. I got upstairs as quickly as I could, shutting my bedroom door behind me. I sunk onto the bed and let the tears flow freely, pulling my knees up to my chest and burying my face in them. I felt so fucking broken and used… so disrespected. I fucking hated myself. When will I ever escape this hell?

The next day, I was sitting at my usual table at lunch. I made sure to keep my hair in my face all day today, even though I applied makeup this morning and brought it with me. My nose was a bit bruised from Phil throwing me face first onto the kitchen floor last night. I always make sure to have some makeup just in case he ever put any marks on my face.

I quickly pulled out my cell phone and looked into the tiny screen, making sure the makeup was still doing its job when I heard a bunch of chairs being pulled out at my table. The screeching against the floor brought me to reality. I quickly glanced up and saw Edward smiling at me with Alice Cullen, Jasper Hale, Emmett McCarthy, and Rosalie Hale. I felt my face grow hot in utter embarrassment.

"Hi, Bella, can we sit with you today?" Alice's sweet voice rang as beautifully as bells. I forced a smile and nodded, feeling extremely nervous. These people were all popular and gorgeous, what was I supposed to say to them?

"So, Bella, will you be coming over tonight to work on your project with Edward?" Alice asked before she took a bite of her salad.

"Yes, I believe so," I muttered.

"Great! This time I can show you my makeup and-"

"Alice, no!" Edward interrupted while shaking his head, an amused, crooked smile on his lips. Damn, he was so beautiful. Like a Greek God. And he smelled amazing, as always. I wish I could just sit in his closet and inhale his scent. I don't care how weird that sounds.

"Why not? Bella is my friend too and you can't keep hogging her," Alice pouted. Jasper put his arm around her comfortingly and rubbed her shoulder. I smiled at the sight of them. It must be nice to be in love; to have someone who is always there to just brighten your day and make you feel happy and warm. I craved that.

"Bella comes over to do a project, not to be bombarded with you and your obsession with beauty. It's a tad overwhelming," Edward stated matter-of-factly. Alice rolled her eyes and flipped him off.

"Bella, aren't you hungry?" Rosalie observed, smiling politely at me. I felt my face blush. This was the first time Rosalie has ever talked to me. Her beauty was rather intimidating to say the least.

"Not really," I mumbled quietly, fiddling with my thumbs in my lap.

"Seriously?! I am starving!" Emmett's voice boomed. I looked at his plate and saw two cheeseburgers, a plate of fries, a bag of chips, and two chocolate milks. I giggled at his enthusiasm.

"Emmett, you're always starving. And, you're a giant. You need much more food than Bella does. You always act like everybody needs to graze as much as you do," Rosalie pretty much ranted.

"Aw, Rosie! I love you, too," Emmett faked sweetness and placed a wet kiss on her cheek. She smeared it away with a feigned annoyed look on her face, but she was smiling nonetheless.

"So, Bella, Rosalie and I are going shopping Saturday morning. Would you like to join us?" Alice asked, smiling warmly at me. Her big blue eyes were rather convincing, but I knew I could not. How could I ever possibly get away with leaving on a Saturday? Unless I told Phil that it was for the project. But, I couldn't do that. What if they asked me to hangout another time? I couldn't use the project for an excuse forever. I knew letting people into my life would be difficult. I had to come up with something, quickly.

"Oh, I would love to, but, um, I'm going to stay with my grandmother f-from Friday until Sunday. She, uh, has had a hard time getting around lately." I was extremely impressed with the lie I created on the top of my head. I had only known my Mom's parents, and they both died years ago. I didn't have any family besides Phil left.

"Oh, that's really sweet of you. Where does she live?" Rosalie inquired. I blushed and looked into my lap.

"Port Angeles," I spoke the first town that popped into my head.

"Oh, okay, well, next time then," Alice declared happily. I only nodded in return, knowing that I would have to let her down again.

I could literally feel the sweat dripping down my forehead as I began preparing Phil's dinner. He expected a good steak and I had to give him one. I had to go to Edward's in an hour for the project and Phil needed to be in a good mood so I could go without an issue. He was already pissed at me for not cooking the steak last night.

I decided to find whatever I could in the back of the freezer and cook him a big feast. I knew it would make him happy – well, as happy as he could possibly be – so I was all for it. Anything to get him off my ass for at least one night.

I threw the steak on the grill and came back inside. As everything cooked, I cleaned up around the house a bit. I wanted him to be in a good mood so I could go to Edward's in a good mood.

I found myself puzzled over the fact that Edward and his friends sat with me today. I mean, I guess it would make sense for Edward and Alice to sit with me. I've been to their house and have had some conversations with them. But, why the others? I've never talked to Jasper, Rosalie or Emmett in my life. Either they all felt bad for me, or they thought Edward would sit with me again and they wanted to be with him. I prayed for the latter, but I knew the first instance was true deep down. I just hated that people showed me pity. I didn't want or need it.

Time passed quickly since I was doing so many things at once, and I began placing all the food on a plate for Phil. I made him two steaks, corn, baked potatoes and a caesar salad. I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and placed it on the table next to the plate, knowing he would be home any minute.

As I began doing the dishes, I heard Phil come home. My heartbeat quickened immediately, it was almost like an instinct. I was constantly on edge when I was near him.

He grunted in my direction and sat down at the table, digging into the food. He had the same blank expression on his face, which meant he was enjoying it. When he wasn't enjoying it, either the food or his fists were thrown at me.

I looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was already 5:45, I would have to leave now to make it in time.

I took a deep breath and prepared for the worst, though I was hoping and praying that he still wasn't mad about the taco incident the night before.

"Sir?"

He just glared at me in reply.

"I just wanted to let you know that, um, I have to go to Edward's soon f-for the project…"

"Whatever, I don't give a fuck. Just be sure to come home at a reasonable time and do what you're supposed to do."

I thanked him and climbed up the stairs, retrieving my backpack in a hurry. I found my keys quickly before looking into the mirror and reapplying a bit more makeup onto my nose. Once I was satisfied, I flew down the stairs and headed out the door, thankful to be escaping this place for even a few hours.

I arrived at Edward's about ten minutes later, perfect timing. I quickly ran my fingers through my dead hair before getting out of the truck and making my way up the stairs. It wasn't my first time here, but I was still completely amazed by the house. It was utterly beautiful.

I took a deep, slow breath before ringing the doorbell. Even though I had obviously spent time with Edward before, being around him still made me nervous. Actually, being around anyone made me nervous.

Edward smiled graciously as he opened the door, motioning with his arm for me to come in. I smiled politely and entered the grand home. His crooked grin made my heart race, per usual.

"Bella, hello again! How are you?" Edward's mother was so sweet. Her personality lit up the room, and she wasn't even trying.

"Good, how are you?" I smiled.

"I'm doing well. Are you hungry? I made some chicken, mashed potatoes, and broccoli. We have some leftovers if you would like!"

"Oh, no, thank you. I just ate," I lied, not wanting to be a burden. However, at the mention of food, my stomach growled. Esme raised an eyebrow in question, and I felt my face grow hot.

"Well, I didn't eat much, I was, uh, running late so I ate quickly," I fumbled over the lie.

"Say no more, why don't you two start heading upstairs and I'll bring you a plate of food after I heat it up," She declared, heading into the kitchen before I could even protest. I found myself smiling, though. She really was an amazing woman.

"Shall we?" I heard Edward's voice right next to me. He was gesturing towards the stairs the same way he had when I was standing outside just a minute ago.

"Go ahead and make yourself at home, I have to go downstairs and get my laptop," Edward explained before smiling at me, his beautiful green eyes filled with warmth. I nodded as I watched him exit the room, grace in every step he took.

I found myself glancing around his room yet again, completely amazed by it. I definitely was not expecting Edward's room to be so… mature, I guess you could say. I was expecting someone popular like Edward to have a room filled with posters of Kim Kardashian in a swimsuit or Bob Marley smoking a joint. His room was nothing like that, though. Everything was organized and neat. I mentally scolded myself for assuming Edward was as shallow as I thought. He was so much more than that.

"I'm back," he called when entering the room, throwing me another one of his infamous smiles. My heart fluttered in my chest at the sight of it.

"So, you ready to get started?"

"Yup," I answered. Edward turned on some music and kept the volume low as background noise. I was flipping through my textbook when Edward's Mom entered the room, carrying a plate of food that smelled delicious.

"Here you are, Bella, I also brought a glass of water. I hope you enjoy it," she smiled warmly, causing my heart to ache. What I would do to have my mother back.

"Thank you, I appreciate it."

"Let me know if you kids need anything else," she called before exiting the room.

I cut up a piece of the chicken and tossed it into my mouth, moaning at the taste. It was amazing.

Edward chuckled at my enthusiasm, causing me to blush and look away. I can't believe I just moaned in front of Edward Cullen.

"It's good, isn't it?" He asked, a playful smirk written on his face.

"Let me enjoy my food in peace," I teased, loving the feeling of being able to joke around with someone.

Edward laughed, a sound that was literally music to my ears. I vowed to try to make him laugh much more often.

"Let's get started then," he suggested, opening his laptop and typing away. I glanced a peek at him and felt butterflies in my stomach. He seemed to be searching for some sort of information, because his forehead was creased and his lips were pursed, making them look more full and pouty than usual. He looked adorable. I had to look away before I started drooling.

We worked on the project for a good amount of time, sharing observations and ideas back and forth. We ended up getting a good chunk of it done, which I was grateful for, but then again, I was upset about. This project was literally my only taste of freedom. It was the only way I could leave the house other than school, even though it was for school. It was the only way I could spend some real time with Edward.

But I was grateful because this project was scaring the shit out of me, because every time I had to tell Phil I was going to Edward's, my heart would beat so fast that I felt it would burst. I would sweat and get nervous and fear for my entire existence. I was extremely shocked that he has let me out without much of an issue these past couple of times.

"Alright, if I read Hitler's name one more time I might throw up. I'm definitely satisfied for the night," Edward announced, closing his laptop and placing it gently on the bed next to him. I couldn't help but stare at the muscles in his arms when he moved.

"Me, too. I guess I better go," I began to pack my things when Edward suddenly grabbed my arm. I looked up in fear and quickly yanked it away, gasping for air. I had to remind myself that Edward wasn't Phil. He wasn't grabbing my arm out of anger.

Edward noticed my odd behavior and swiftly let me go. I immediately felt embarrassed. "Sorry, I just was going to suggest that you stay for a little longer. It's only 7:30. We can just…hangout."

Edward Cullen wanted to hangout with me? This can't be. Something has to be going on. He must be sick or something.

But, what could it hurt? Phil would still think I was working on the project, and I would do anything to be out of the house for a little longer.

"S-sure," I stammered, sounding like an idiot. I would keep my guard up, though, for I had no idea what Edward's intentions were. And when you live with Phil, you learn not to trust anybody.

"So, tell me about yourself. We're partners but I feel like I barely know you," Edward said, throwing me another one of his crooked smiles. His green eyes twinkled in a way that made me forget everything. I probably couldn't even remember my own name in that moment.

"Well, uh, there's not much to know."

He chuckled and rolled his eyes teasingly.

"Oh, come on, Bella. Just tell me one interesting fact about yourself. What's your favorite type of flower? Anything!" I couldn't help but smile at his effort.

"Hmm, well, let's see. My favorite flower is an orchid…" I trailed off, glancing at him nervously, wondering if that was good enough for him. He smiled brightly.

"What else is there to know about you?"

"Why do you want to know?" I challenged.

He shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm just a curious person. Call me 'George' if you must."

"Did you really just compare yourself to a mischievous monkey from a children's book?"

"Thank God you got that reference! I was afraid you wouldn't," Edward teased.

Okay, so I definitely was not being cautious, but I literally could not stop smiling. Usually I was so reserved and hidden behind the imaginary wall I built between myself and the rest of the world, but with Edward, it was… easy, natural. Talking to him was like breathing. I silently hoped we would be assigned another history project and he would be my partner.

"How could I not? My Mom always read me 'Curious George' before bed when I was little. She said I was just like him," I looked down at my hands, thinking back to those times. When it was just me and my Mom. Where constant hospitalization and chemotherapy didn't exist to me. Where Phil didn't exist to me.

"How so?" He pressed, seeming rather intrigued with my story.

"Well, my Mom said I was always very observant, but it didn't just stop there. I was just curious about everything. I wanted to know what the purpose was behind every object in the house. I was always breaking everything because I would pick stuff up and examine it like I was some kind of scientist. Although, since I'm clumsy, I ended up dropping a good amount of stuff."

Edward laughed again, his hair bouncing with volume as he shook his head. "You must have been a handful."

"Yes, I most likely was," I agreed.

"What else is there to know about you?"

I sighed in pure confusion. "Not to be rude, Edward, but where is this coming from? We've been going to the same school and you've never shown an interest in my life. Why now?"

He ran a hair through his gorgeous, messy hair. "To be honest, I'm not sure. Please don't hate me for saying this, but I knew what everyone thought of you, so I assumed they were right. I hate myself for taking this long to realize that everyone is wrong about you. You're not a freak. I feel like we could have been friends for a long time now if I opened my eyes earlier. So, that's what I'm doing. I'm starting now. Better late than never."

I felt my breathing quicken, my palms grew sweaty. Any normal person would smile and accept someone's friendship without thinking twice, but I was not normal. I was far from it. I was a broken and ruined.

I also reacted this way because I was scared. Not for my own safety, but for Edward's. If Phil ever found out that I had a friend, and that my friend was a boy, he would go after him in fear that Edward would discover what Phil does and tell on him. I can't let anything happen to him. He definitely did not deserve it.

But, I simply couldn't ignore the feeling that caused warmth to radiate throughout my body. I know I told myself earlier today that I would be Edward's friend, but I meant a simple 'hi' in the hallway at school or maybe a few conversations here and there in history. I didn't mean getting to know each other's lives like Edward was insisting tonight.

The feeling was amazing, though, and I never wanted it to go away. I didn't want to tell him he couldn't be my friend.

"I, uh, I guess I understand," I whispered, looking at my hands. I would just have to be very careful with my friendship with Edward. Phil could never find out.

"Great! So, as I was saying, what else is there to know about you?"

Before I could answer, my phone began blaring the annoying ringtone. I froze in fear. I felt my body shake without being able to control it.

Only two people had my phone number. Edward and Phil. And, it obviously was not Edward calling.

Phil only called when he was very angry.

I closed my eyes tightly before I answered the phone. I didn't dare look at Edward, I did not want him seeing the fear on my face.

"H-hello?" I stammered, trying my best to sound casual. Obviously it was not working since I felt like I was going to throw up Esme's dinner. I felt Edward staring at me intently, but I kept reminding myself to keep my head down.

"Isabella! Get home, NOW! You left the fucking dishes in the sink. Are you fucking retarded? I am completely furious with you. If you're not home in ten minutes, you are going to regret it," his menacing voice spewed the words at me, he spat my name like it was poison in his dirty mouth. I hoped to God Edward didn't hear the conversation.

Phil hung up before I could even reply.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked, sounding concerned.

"Y-yeah, my Dad is just mad at me because I, uh, didn't do my chores, so I-I have to go," I tried desperately to swallow the lump in my throat. Edward could not know how scared I truly was. I could not cry. I hoped he didn't notice that I was shaking and that tears were blurring my vision.

"Oh, okay, I'll walk you downstairs."

"Are you heading home, Bella?" Edward's Dad asked as I made my way down the stairs, Edward following closely behind me.

"Yeah, thank you for having me over," I put on a fake smile.

"Anytime! Have a good night," he called kindly. I just nodded in reply and headed towards the door, knowing Edward was still behind me.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Bella," Edward's velvety voice was low and not as bright as a few minutes ago.

I, again, just nodded and headed outside, practically running to my truck. I had to get home ASAP, even though I did not want to at all.


	6. Chapter 6

Hi everyone! Welcome back :) I hope you're enjoying this story so far. We're finally getting to the good parts! Remember to leave a review :)

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, not me.

EPOV

I was confused.

As I watched Bella basically run to her truck, I couldn't shake the eerie feeling that was dwelling inside me.

She and I had a great night together. We laughed and got to know each other. I was starting to believe we could actually be friends, which I still believe, but then she went back to the girl I've known for years. The one that was always scared and upset and hiding from the world.

Why was she so damn afraid of her father? I mean, we all hate getting yelled at by our parents, but this was a reaction I had never seen before. She visibly started shaking, her small, fragile form was somehow able to make my huge bed vibrate uncontrollably. Her voice cracked as if she was trying to stop herself from sobbing. And I – for some reason – hated every fucking second of it.

I couldn't help but be worried and bothered by this. I made my way back upstairs so I could lay down and try to get it off my mind, but there was no use.

Was there a reason Bella was so terrified of her father?

Okay, maybe I was getting a little out of hand. Maybe he is just strict. I mean, of course he is, he's the chief of police.

Still, strict wouldn't cause a reaction like that.

I groaned in exasperation and sat up in my bed, running my hands through my hair. I needed to get this off my mind.

I grabbed my keys off my dresser and headed downstairs.

"Where are you going, dear?" Mom asked from the couch, all snuggled up against Dad.

"I'm, uh, going to get a few things from the store. I'll be back soon."

"Okay, don't be out too late, you have school tomorrow."

I quickly made my way to the garage and got into my Volvo. I drove to my destination, the abandoned road nobody knew about on the other side of the woods, and pulled the blunt I had rolled out of my bag from the glove compartment. It was either here or the meadow, but it was too dark to walk through the woods.

As I was about to light the blunt, I received a text message from Jessica Stanley.

 _Hey : ) what's up? Are you free tonight?_

I didn't even bother opening it. Another bimbo. I had no interest.

I couldn't help but think of _her_ whenever I inhaled the scent of a pineapple flavored blunt wrap. Those were her favorite. I was instantly flooded with memories of us smoking multiple blunts in her backyard while her parents worked, seeing who could get the highest. We were always getting into dumb trouble… before she fucking destroyed me. I almost punched my window in agitation. I willed my nerves to calm down, so I figured now would be the best time to light the fucker.

I took a few hits and coughed like a chain-smoker, but I didn't mind. I knew I would be high in a matter of minutes, which I was.

I felt much more relaxed, which allowed me to see the situation from a more realistic point of view.

There was no need to worry about Bella. I mean, if something serious was going on, she would have told somebody. Right? Yes, she would have. Bella's smart. She is just a good girl and doesn't want to get yelled at by her father.

Also, there was no need to worry about myself. I need to shake this mood that I've been in lately. I haven't exactly been taking it out on anyone. My family doesn't truly know the extent of the pain I felt, but I think they have some sort of idea. It's the worst when I'm alone, which is mostly on the weekends. Carlisle and Esme always go on dates on the weekends. Alice and Jasper have their alone time, as well as Emmett and Rosalie. I mean, sure, we all hangout as a group, but it's those times when I ask somebody to spend time with me, and they can't because of their relationship. That's what irritates me. Because I knew what it was like to have somebody, but she fucked it up.

I know I'm being a whiny teenager, but it's how I fucking felt. I felt as if something was wrong with me because I can't seem to attract normal girls. If I couldn't now, would I ever? Would I ever find the one? I was sick of all the pathetic, fake girls showing interest in me. Why couldn't someone deep and smart like me?

But, when I was high, I realized that I was silly for thinking this way. I was 18, I had all the time in the world to find somebody to spend my life with. I had my whole future ahead of me.

Feeling lonely sure as hell does suck, but thank God that weed makes me forget my troubles for a few hours. I turned up the music in my car and completely zoned out, feeling okay again.

I woke up the next morning tired as hell. Not physically tired, because I slept great. I was emotionally tired from the nightmare I had.

I was walking through the forest, looking for something. I don't know what I was looking for, though. I ended up finding a little girl covered in blood. She was about 8 or 9. She had long, dark hair that was knotted up around mud and sticks. Her face was soaked in tears.

"Please, help me," she whispered in the most agonized, painful voice. My heart ached for her. I just had to help her.

I reached down to pick her up into my arms, but before I could, she was gone. I looked up and a few yards away stood a black figure with a big knife. He was coming towards me, but I woke up panting for air before he could do any harm.

I had no idea what the nightmare meant, but I blamed the weed. No more smoking before bed.

School was boring as hell. The only thing I was looking forward to was Mike Newton's party tonight. His parents went away on business one weekend every month, and he always threw a party that pretty much lasted the whole weekend. I wasn't much of a party animal, but it was something to do in this boring town. Something to get my mind off things.

"Are we gonna sit with Bella again today?" Alice asked excitedly as the five of us walked to lunch.

"I don't care, Alice," I answered. I was planning on sitting with Bella, though, but I didn't know they wanted to sit with her again. I had asked them to come with me so Bella would feel as if she had more people there for her than just me. I felt a sense of… protectiveness towards her ever since I witnessed Tanya make fun of her.

"I'm gonna invite her to the party tonight!" Alice squealed, clapping her hands loudly. I swear that pixie got excited over the dumbest shit sometimes.

After we got our food, we made our way to Bella's empty table again. She was looking down in her lap, a tired, empty written on her face. I didn't like it. I wanted her to be smiling like she was last night when she told me stories of her childhood.

"Hey, Bella, can we sit with you again?" I asked nicely upon approaching her. She smiled, though it wasn't a real one, and nodded. I inhaled her beautiful scent as I sat next to her. She smelled like flowers and strawberries. It was intoxicating.

"So, Bella, Mike Newton's parents are going out of town for the weekend and he's throwing a party. Do you want to come?" Jasper asked.

Her big, brown eyes grew wide and she blushed that same blush again. It was adorable when she did that.

Adorable?

"Oh, I have to, uh, go to my Grandma's. Remember?" The other day when she was asked to go shopping with Rosalie and Alice on Saturday, I believed her story about visiting her Grandma.

Now, not so much.

I sent the others a warning glance, telling them not to push her. I don't think they understood Bella the way I did, or the way I was trying to. They didn't see what I saw so far. She didn't like to be around people. It made her nervous for some reason. She seemed to be somewhat okay around my friends though, but not anyone else. I could see that just by noticing her expressions in the hallway when she was surrounded by everyone. I had been paying close attention to her the past few days. She didn't trust anyone. She felt as though everyone was out to get her.

Alice noticed my expression, because she gave up.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot. Well, if you get home early or something, here's my number," my sister wrote her number on a napkin and handed it graciously towards Bella. She smiled and put it in that damn notebook she's always scribbling in.

"Oh, and Bella, why haven't you worn the clothes I gave you yet?" Alice asked in playful anger.

Bella blushed a deep red color that looked beautiful on her pale skin. I don't think she saw herself clearly.

"I just, um, haven't gotten the, uh, chance to yet. I will soon, though, Alice." Alice nodded in victory.

Just like that, the couples were caught up in their own little worlds again. Alice was showing Jasper pictures of outfit choices she was considering for the party on her phone. People made such a big deal out of things like this in Forks, because nothing like this ever happens. When there's an opportunity to get dressed up, all the girls sure as hell took it.

Emmett and Rosalie were talking about cars. That was one thing about Rosalie nobody expected. On the outside, she seemed like she wouldn't know a single thing about cars except what the steering wheel was for. But, she knew a fuck ton. Probably more than me. Emmett thought it was the hottest thing in the world.

I found myself grinning, knowing I usually would be annoyed or brooding in these moments when I was left alone, but I had Bella to talk to today.

I still spent some parts of the day thinking of what happened last night. I just couldn't help it. Bella's reaction to her father's phone call bugged me in so many ways. I wish I had another fucking blunt.

Maybe if I asked her about her night, I could figure out if it was bad or not. I would study her face. If her expressions were bad, then her night was bad.

"So, how was your night after you left my house?"

She fiddled her thumbs in her lap, something I've noticed she does quite often.

"Um, it-it was fine," she murmured.

She wasn't looking at me. I couldn't judge her expressions when she wasn't looking at me.

I got a hold of reality in that second. Why did I care so much? Why did the outcome of her night matter to me? It's her life, not mine. None of this is my business. I need to butt the fuck out. I barely knew her. None of this should phase me.

"That's good. So, do you want to come over again on Sunday to work on the project?"

"Yeah, Sunday sounds good."

"Okay, how about earlier in the day. Let's say around 2:00?"

"Um, well, I-I would, uh, much rather prefer our usual time, if you don't mind. I'm not sure when I'll be getting home from my Grandma's," she mumbled nervously. I nodded in understanding.

"That's fine, whatever works for you," I assured.

"Thanks."

It was silent between us then, Bella seemed to be thinking hard about something, and I wanted to know what it was. I don't know why I suddenly became so nosy, especially towards Bella. She was a mystery though, and, again, I wanted to solve her.

Again, it wasn't my business, though. I found myself wondering why I grew so intrigued with this random girl so quickly.

"What are you thinking?" I blurted out before I even realized that I had asked, mentally slapping myself. I was being so rude and blunt with her. That was unlike me.

"Um, I don't know, just random stuff. Why…um… why do you ask?"

I sighed. Well, I couldn't just ignore it now. I dug myself into this hole. She deserved an answer for my nosy behavior.

"It just seems like you're upset over something."

"What makes you say that?" She pressed, staring thoughtfully into my eyes. I never noticed how truly beautiful her eyes were. They were like two pools of chocolate that you wanna just dive into and never get out of.

"Um, well, I'm not sure, you just keep looking into your lap and you don't look, uh, happy, I guess," I muttered pathetically. She probably thought I was such a creep. I was scared for her reaction.

But, she just smiled a small smile and blushed, again. Why was she happy that I was creeping on her?

"It's nothing, Edward. I'm just stressed. I have…um… a lot of school work and I'm trying to, uh, figure out when to do it all." She stumbled over her words and couldn't look me in the eye. I had a feeling she was lying. What was really bothering her?

I need to stop worrying so much about Bella. She had her own life and she would live it as she pleased.

I had to tell myself to stop bugging her and wondering about her life, but I wasn't sure if I could. It's just that she was so different from everyone else. Why was she different? What caused it? I know these questions would haunt me until I found out.

The music from inside Mike's house was loud even though I was still parking my car on his street. He was lucky as hell that his neighbors didn't live close enough to hear it. The party would get busted for sure.

I ended up driving Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper to the party in my car. Mike always suggested to car pool as much as possible. Too many cars could be suspicious. That was useless though, practically every student of Forks High was here.

I still couldn't believe Emmett refused to drive his Hummer here, all five of us would fit so much better in that. He said he didn't trust people when they were drunk, though. What did he think was gonna happen? Someone would come outside with a Louisville Slugger and smash his car? I chuckled under my breath.

"What'd you guys tell your parents?" Jasper asked as we all got out of my Volvo.

"Edward said he was sleeping at Emmett's, I said I was sleeping at Rose's. What about you guys?" Alice inquired.

"Edward's," Emmett answered.

"Emmett's," Jasper.

"Alice's," Rosalie.

"Wow, guys, we better hope our parents don't all talk about this," Emmett laughed as we entered the house.

People were already drunk, and it reeked of weed. Mindless rap music blared throughout the house, bouncing off the walls. I hated today's rap, but I would have to deal with it. Nobody my age wanted to party to old school hip hop or alternative or rock and roll. Whatever. Random strobe lights danced on the walls, almost giving me a fucking headache.

"Cullen! Hey!" Ben Cheney was basically slurring his words as he patted my back.

"What's up, Ben?"

"Dude, you're going to love what I'm about to tell you! We have jungle juice instead of beer! Before the party, Mike and I dumped 4 big-ass bottles of vodka and a shit ton of Gatorade and juice into this huge bin! This bin is so big I bet we could shove Alice into it!"

"I don't think we're going to be shoving Alice into anything, Ben," Jasper grunted and wrapped his arm protectively around Alice's waist, kissing her forehead tenderly. Did I mention that I love Jasper?

"Well, go check it out, it's in the kitchen," he yelled before being pulled towards the dancing area by some slutty sophomore with way too much makeup on her face. I couldn't stifle my laugh.

We pushed through the crowd and, after what felt like ten years, finally made it into the kitchen.

"Wow, I probably could fit into that bin!" Alice exasperated as Rosalie retrieved plastic cups and handed them to us.

"I'm not getting you out if you climb in there when you're drunk!" Emmett teased.

We all helped ourselves to the jungle juice. It wasn't too bad. I watched as my friends danced around the dance floor with their significant other. They seemed to be getting drunker by the minute. I was taking it slow, though. Not really in the mood to get shitfaced.

"Hey, Edward," I heard a female voice say near my ear, her fingertips grazing down my back. I turned and was face to face with Lauren Mallory.

You guessed it. Another bimbo.

"Hello, Lauren," I greeted politely, but wasn't really interested in talking with her at all.

"Are you having a good time?"

"Yeah, the party's fun."

"I'm pretty drunk," she giggled and slapped my chest flirtatiously. I just nodded and took a sip of my drink.

"I heard you and Tanya broke up after you told her off at lunch," she said.

I literally groaned out loud at the petty high school drama. "Her and I were never dating in the first place."

Her eyes grew wide in shock as if this was the most surprising news she's ever heard. "Really? But I heard that she said you two were serious."

"No, she's just psychotic."

Lauren giggled obnoxiously and slapped my chest again. "Well, Lauren, I'm gonna go find someone."

"Okay, look around for me later," she winked before waltzing away, her shorts so short her ass cheeks were hanging out. Seriously, how did guys my age lust after girls like that?

Because they were easy as fuck.

Who am I to talk, though? I've fucked girls like her.

I ended up getting a bit drunker than I had originally intended. I thought two cups wouldn't do much to me, but they sure as hell did.

Everything seemed to be moving and I found myself in a funny mood. I literally was laughing at everything and anything. I haven't felt that way in a long time. I knew it was obviously the alcohol, though. The feelings would come back when I was sober again.

As I sat on the couch and smoked a blunt with Demetri and Eric – two guys on the baseball team – I randomly found myself thinking of Bella. And pitying her.

It sort of hit me that she never got to experience this. She had no friends, beside me, if that's what we even were. She wasn't able to live a normal teenage life. She never got to get drunk at a shady house party, or sneak out to meet friends to smoke weed in a forest, or break curfew and get grounded for two weeks.

Bella was a great girl, though, and I had no idea why she was such an outcast.

I wanted her to experience this, though. She deserved it. I found myself walking outside and sitting on the porch, whipping out my phone and calling her before I realized what I was doing. The cool October air felt great against my sweaty skin. I smiled widely before pressing call next to Bella's name.

Alcohol did strange things to a person.

"Edward?" She sounded completely shocked that I was calling. It felt nice to hear her voice.

"Bella, hey!" I was definitely slurring my words.

"Is something wrong? It's almost midnight," she reminded me. I laughed like a mad man, though I knew it wasn't actually funny.

"Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to know how you're doing."

"I'm fine?" She said it like it was a question.

"How's your Grandma?"

"She's, uh, she's good. I'm glad I'm spending time with her."

"Bella, you're such a nice person," I said quietly, kind of to myself, kind of to her.

She giggled, the sound forcing chills to run throughout my body. In a good way. "Edward, you're drunk."

"So?"

"So you have no idea what you're talking about, and you most likely won't remember this in the morning."

"Of course I'll remember it! This phone call is probably the best part of the night so far," I admitted before mentally slapping myself. Why was I being so strange? Why was I so damn happy to talk to her? I blamed the alcohol and the weed.

She stayed silent for a couple seconds before asking "what kind of party are you at if talking to me is the best part of the night?"

I laughed loudly, my voice echoing off the trees that surrounded Mike's yard.

"I don't think you see yourself the way I do. You're a much more interesting person than you think you are."

"I haven't said anything remotely interesting during this whole conversation."

"Well, shit," I chuckled. Her soft laugh on the other end of the phone made me smile automatically.

"Edward, I have to go, um, make sure my Gram took her meds for the night. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Why can't I talk to you before then?" I whined. Seriously, what the fuck was wrong with me?

Maybe it's that Bella is someone to talk to since I've been feeling so lonely. I mean, I could talk to anyone essentially, but anyone that wants to talk to me is either a hot head football player or a slutty cheerleader. Bella had substance. I enjoyed talking to her. She took the loneliness away.

Maybe wondering about her life isn't so bad. It's because I've found a good friend.

"You, um, wanna talk before then?" She was speaking so quietly. I knew she was blushing even though I couldn't see her.

"Yeah, you're my friend! You can text me whenever if you want."

"O-okay. Well, I have to go now. Goodnight, Edward. Be safe tonight."

She hung up before I could say goodnight back.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hi everyone! Welcome back to Paradise. ;) I'm so dumb lmao. I'm so happy with the positive responses I've been receiving for this story! Also, I received a review asking how the gang was going to get home last chapter since they were drunk. They just ended up staying over at Mike's house!

Leave a review and let me know how you feel! Enjoy.

BPOV

 _(This chapter is starting right after Phil calls Bella and yells at her when she's at Edward's.)_

I almost lost my grip on the steering wheel numerous times as I was racing home. My palms only get this sweaty when I know Phil is very, very angry.

I was so in a rush to get to Edward's that I completely forgot to finish the dishes. Phil hated when I didn't keep the house spotless. I was definitely going to wake up sore in the morning.

I knew I needed a stable mind to drive, and the amount of nerves and fear that were pulsing through my veins was not making me stable. I forced myself to think of something positive. Something that makes me happy.

Edward.

I was more thankful for Edward than anything else in the world. He was that reassurance that somebody was there for me. I don't care how new or undeveloped our friendship is – it's still amazing to me.

He's the most intriguing person I've ever met, because he's different from all the others. He took time out of his day to get to know me and to be my friend, something that nobody in this world has ever done. He's special. Even though I act like a complete nervous idiot around him, he still gives me butterflies and makes me blush like no other. It must be the fact that I have never had a friend before. I have no idea how to act.

My happy thoughts didn't last long, though. I pulled into the driveway in record time, my heart pounding and my body shaking intensely. I prayed to God and my Mother to keep me safe tonight. I wish she was here. I would be a normal girl if she was here. I wouldn't be tainted and ruined like the pathetic girl I am now.

I could barely open the door because my hands were trembling so damn hard. I knew I would rather enter the gates of hell than this house.

I quietly entered and immediately heard his deep, raspy voice call my name from the living room. I hated the way my name sounded coming out of his mouth.

I took a deep breath and made my way further into the house, trying to distract myself with the happy thoughts again. It was useless, though. I was much too fear-stricken.

"Isabella, why can't you learn? The rules are simple in this house, but you somehow manage to constantly fuck up. You're the most pathetic, retarded person living on this Earth. I wish you would have died instead of your mother. My life would be so much better that way." His words should have stung, but he's said them so many times that I've grown numb to them. I mean, they still hurt, but they didn't make me cry in a ball as they used to. The only thing that makes me do that is the physical abuse, which I knew was coming.

See, I'm not retarded.

He slapped me across the face, causing a smacking sound to bounce off the walls and mock me for my weakness. It burned terribly, but I held in my cries. I would not cry in front of him. He would not see my tears.

He grabbed me by the neck and push me up against the wall, squeezing as if he wanted my head to pop off. I gasped for air and kicked my legs, begging him silently to put me down. He's never gone as far as to strangle me. I didn't want to die this way. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to Edward.

I could feel myself losing consciousness. I knew his screams of profanities were right in my ear, but I could barely hear him. It sounded as though he was on the other side of the neighborhood. My vision went blurry and my body became very warm, too warm that it was painful, before I blacked out.

My eyes were having a tough time opening, but when they finally did, I was confused.

I was lying on the living room floor. How did I get there? When did I get there?

I rubbed my head in confused and sat up, slowly putting the pieces back together.

Phil had choked me to the point of unconsciousness, and I was now just waking up. What time was it?

I spotted my backpack a few feet away, the moonlight shining in through the window being my only guide. I pulled my cell phone out of my backpack and checked the time.

2:14 AM.

I was really knocked out for over six hours? Phil really did a number on me this time. I'm not even surprised he left me on the floor while he waltzed upstairs to his comfy bed and fell asleep, probably dreaming up more ways to torture me.

I fucking hate him.

I grabbed water from the kitchen before making my way upstairs, walking ever so quietly. I could not risk waking Phil up. He would be beyond pissed.

Once I was safely in my room, I locked the door behind me and went straight to the window, bringing my Mom's copy of Wuthering Heights with me. The only coordinated thing I never failed at was climbing out of the window and onto the tree right outside. Mom and I did it all the time. We'd point out different birds that flew around the sky, read, or just talk. I needed to do whatever I could to be close to her right now.

I kept the light on in my room to help me read the book, and I sighed in content as I dove in. This moment brought back so many amazing times. I could almost feel her presence next to me on the damp branch.

"I miss you, Mom," I whispered to the cool October air. I put the book down next to me and looked up at the stars.

"I need you. Why did you have to go? You had no idea who Phil truly was when you married him. I'm not mad at you, though, Mom. You wanted happiness, and he made you happy. He was a good guy back then. I don't blame you. I just wish you were here now. Not only so Phil would be nice again, but just so you could be back in my life. It's so hard without you. I miss exploring in the woods, and laughing at the stupid people on Jerry Springer, and spraying each other with the hose in the Summer time because we wanted a pool so badly, but Phil always said no. Do you remember all that, Mom? I sure do. I'll never forget it."

I didn't bother wiping the tears that poured down my face. There was no use. More would just come.

"What am I going to do, Mom? I can't live like this forever. I really can't. I need an escape, but I have no idea how. He'll find me. He swore if I ever left, he'd find me right away. I know he will. Besides, I have nowhere to go. I have no money and nobody who would take me in. I just need that one person, Mom. That one person that will help. Would I even let them, though? I don't know. It would be terrifying. Please, Mom, just help me get out of here."

I was not in a good mood the next day.

As I went from class to class, I couldn't help but constantly think of Phil. I was completely shocked at the abuse he gave me last night. He's never choked me. Does this mean he's going to do shit like that from now on? I was terrified. I couldn't shake the fear.

I fumbled with my locker before lunch, trying to get the stupid lock to work when I felt a presence behind me.

I slowly turned and was face to face with Tanya Denali.

"Hello, Bella," she sneered my name with hatred, the same way Phil does. It caused me to tremble in fear without being able to control it.

I didn't respond.

"I'm here to warn you to stay away from Edward. He's mine and he doesn't want a pathetic freak like you. You're just wasting your time. If you talk to him anymore, there will be hell to pay," she warned before sauntering away, meeting up with the rest of her bitch friends down the hall.

Great.

I should have been scared, but I wasn't. I was still going to talk to Edward. If I could handle Phil, I could handle whatever "hell" Tanya would throw my way.

Her words did hurt, though. It just sucked to know that you're seen as a freak at home and at school.

What was she even talking about, though? I'm not the reason her and Edward aren't together. Why is she blaming me?

I entered the cafeteria in a worse mood than I had begun the day in.

I felt instantly better, but confused at the same time, when Edward and his friends had asked if they could join me. My heart rate picked up, and I couldn't tell if it was out of shyness or excitement. I feared not knowing their intentions, but I also craved their friendship, or whatever it was that they were offering.

And when Edward asked me what I was thinking, I couldn't help but, somehow, feel happy about that. I should tell him to butt out, to run away screaming from my fucked up life. Save yourself, Edward, before it's too late.

But I didn't. Instead, I blushed like a school girl and became giddy at the fact that he cared enough to ask. Was that bad of me? Maybe. Did I care? Not nearly enough.

I grew upset again, though, as I drove my truck home. I couldn't help but drown in the fact that I wouldn't talk to Edward until Sunday when I went to his house for the project. I know two days is not a long time, but whatever. He was still something that made me happy and I wouldn't be happy again for two days.

Phil texted me around 4:00 and said he wouldn't be home until after midnight. I didn't ask why, though, and he didn't tell me why. All I knew is that I wouldn't have to cook for him, or endure him until tomorrow.

As I pulled out my journal, I literally cringed at my last entry. When I write, it's as though I completely lose myself and write with more emotions than logic. Sometimes it's as if I'm drunk, because I wake up the next morning, read my latest entry, and barely remember writing it. It's odd, but it's me.

My last entry was written last night after I had reached out to my Mom.

 _As a fan of Nirvana, I am still completely pissed off at Kurt Cobain for killing himself. I mean, he had family and money and music that touched so many lives, literally feeding into the souls of almost every angsty teen of the 90's. Why end it? His music spoke to me in my angriest times, when I was feeling like utter filth for the way I am. I hate myself sometimes. Nirvana helped me, though. I just wish they had made more music for me to admire. If only Kurt hadn't done what he'd done._

 _But, thinking of the way he blew his fucking head off makes me wonder: is that the answer, if your life is nothing but sorrows and wallowing in self-pity through hell? Maybe Kurt wasn't wrong. Maybe he knew exactly what he was doing._

 _People call Kurt weak and a coward for taking the easy way out, but, even though I'm so fucking mad at him, I don't blame him. That's because sometimes I want to take a shotgun and blow my own fucking brains out. I mean, what else is there for me to do? It's either that, or endure this fucking torture with emotionless humans for the rest of my life. I will never get out of my personal hell. Kurt knew he wouldn't get out of his either, so he ended his life. Is that the answer to my problems?_

It pains me to say that this entry was not my only suicidal one. It terrified me to no end to see a part of me act that way. I knew I wouldn't do that to myself, or at least not now. Something pulled me back. I don't know what it was, but it was something.

I spent my night lounging around my room either writing, reading, doing schoolwork, or listening to music. It was one of the most relaxing nights I've had in a while. My entries were not nearly as dark as they were the previous night.

I was listening to some music when I heard my ringtone blaring from across the room. I froze in place and found it hard to breathe. Phil only called when he was angry.

I hesitantly crept towards the phone, fearing what was on the other end, when I saw the name on the screen.

Edward.

Edward was calling me? This late? Something must be wrong. He did say he was going to a party tonight. Was he drunk and needed to be picked up? I had to find out. If he needed help, I just had to be there for him.

"Edward?" I called into the phone.

"Bella, hey!" He sounded drunk. His words were a bit unpronounced and he was all but screaming.

"Is something wrong? It's almost midnight," I inquired. I was about to grab my keys and come to his rescue before I heard him laugh obnoxiously, but still beautifully.

"Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to know how you're doing," he explained as if it was normal. I felt a huge grin spread across my face like a wild fire. Edward was calling me just to…talk. He didn't need anything. Just a friend.

"I'm fine?" I said it as if it were a question, because I barely believed that I was fine. I was much too elated and blissed to be speaking to him.

"How's your Grandma?" He asked nonchalantly, trying to spark conversation.

"She's, uh, she's good. I'm glad I'm spending time with her," I lied, praying that he believed it.

"Bella, you're such a nice person," he whispered sincerely. He was probably just saying that because he was drunk, but it sounded honest as hell and the drunk excuse didn't stop me from almost squealing like a school girl.

"Edward, you're drunk," I giggled. I couldn't help myself. He was adorable.

Adorable?

"So?" He challenged.

"So you have no idea what you're talking about, and you most likely won't remember this in the morning."

"Of course I'll remember it! This phone call is probably the best part of the night so far," he sounded honest. Very honest. Could he seriously mean that?

The party must just be boring or something. There's no way in hell that my pathetic self is more interesting than a party filled with booze and slutty girls that would do anything to get in his pants. That thought made me frown. I didn't want to think of that, and I don't know why.

"What kind of party are you at if talking to me is the best part of the night?"

The gorgeous laugh from the other end of the phone gave me butterflies. I wish I could see his face when he laughed like that. I bet my butterflies would literally explode out of my asshole.

"I don't think you see yourself the way I do. You're a much more interesting person than you think you are."

"I haven't said anything remotely interesting during this whole conversation," I reminded him, feeling sad again. I was not anywhere near interesting. He was definitely saying this because he was drunk.

Right?

"Well, shit," he chuckled. I couldn't help but laugh.

I suddenly heard Phil's car crumble over the granite driveway. Thank God my window was open.

"Edward, I have to go, um, make sure my Gram took her meds for the night. I'll see you on Sunday."

"Why can't I talk to you before then?" He sounded sincerely upset.

I was beyond thrilled. Okay, maybe it wasn't the booze that was talking. I didn't expect our friendship to mean this much to Edward, but knowing that it does sent me straight to cloud nine.

"You, um, wanna talk before then?" I whispered, hoping Phil wouldn't hear. It was risky enough to talk to Edward on the phone while Phil was home. I didn't want to let him go yet, though. I wanted, no, needed to hear his voice for just a couple more seconds.

"Yeah, you're my friend! You can text me whenever if you want."

I smiled, sincerely happy. "O-okay. Well, I have to go now. Goodnight, Edward. Be safe tonight."

I quickly hung up before I lost will power and stayed on the phone any longer. I was having a great night and getting in trouble by Phil would completely ruin that.

I woke up the next morning at 10:45. It was very, very rare for me to ever sleep that late. The only reason I did was because I didn't fall asleep until 4:30 AM. I couldn't stop thinking of Edward.

I always thought it made me so happy to talk to him because I finally had a friend, someone to spend time with and interact with. But then, I started thinking of what Edward could have been doing in that moment, and the thoughts I came up with made me pissed.

He could have been making out with some drunk girl at the party, or hooking up with Tanya again. Those thoughts made me glare at my empty walls. I hated, no, fucking loathed the idea of Edward with another girl. That was when I realized that I had a little crush on him.

Okay, sure. So I kind of like Edward. Is that so bad? I can't help that his smile makes me forget any type of pain, or that his smell instantly relaxes me, or that his laugh is the most magical thing I've ever heard. I could have my secret crush, right? As long as nobody found out, it didn't hurt anybody but myself. I would have to accept the fact that I could never have him that way. He could never be with a girl like me. I would just have to endure the pain that came with watching him be with somebody else one day.

I looked out the window expecting Phil's cruiser to be gone. I was right. If he was home, he would most definitely not let me sleep this late.

I made me way downstairs, excited as all hell to make myself breakfast. I was starving.

I noticed a note on the counter. The writing was scribbled in careless, ugly writing.

 _Be back around dinner time. Clean the house._

I crumbled the note up and threw it in the garbage. I made myself an egg with some toast and ate slowly, enjoying my little meal.

I got to work right away, listening to some old school rock as I cleaned. I was scrubbing the tub when I felt my phone vibrate in the pocket of my sweats.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and saw that I had a text from Edward. I opened the text as quickly as I could, anxious and excited to see what he'd said.

 _I just realized that I called you last night. I hope my phone call made you amused and not annoyed_

I giggled and typed my reply right away.

 _Definitely not annoying when someone who's at a huge party tells you you're the best part of their night._

I was acting a bit risky, but I had nothing to lose. I was already in deeper than I had anticipated.

He replied within a few minutes, but it felt like eternity.

 _I wasn't lying about that, FYI._

My palms grew so sweaty that I almost dropped my phone. I was acting like a completely typical girl. Whatever.

 _Are you sure about that?_

I reminded myself to continue to clean while I waited for a reply. I definitely was not trying to get Phil mad.

It took Edward about twenty minutes to answer.

 _100%. What are you up to for the day?_

He wanted to know what I was up to? He actually wanted to talk, not just apologize for his behavior last night.

The rational, scared part of me yelled at myself not to trust him. Nobody besides my mother was nice to me for my whole life. There has to be a reason for Edward's behavior. I bet someone put him up to it as a joke. Maybe it's a bet of some sorts.

But, the way he defended me against Tanya and the conversations we've had are much too sincere and honest. He can't be that good of an actor. Can he?

I began typing about cleaning my house, but then I quickly caught myself just in time. I completely forgot that I'm supposed to be at my Grandma's.

 _Probably going to spend my day watching TV with my Grandma._

 _Well, I'll leave you to it, then. I'll see you tomorrow, right?_

I didn't want Edward to stop texting me. Was this wrong? What if he found out too much? He could get hurt. It would be all my fault. I couldn't bear to see him get hurt, let alone be the cause of it.

However, I simply could not ignore the pull I felt towards him, no matter how hard I tried.

Edward and I texted for most of the rest of the day. We talked about music, movies, his family, and anything else we could think of. It was easily the best day of my life since my Mother passed. I was starting to grow an attachment to Edward, which I knew was probably a bad idea. What if Phil found out? He would kill him. I couldn't let anything happen to Edward. I would die first.

I would just be careful, though, because there's no way in hell that I could simply shove him out of my life at this point. I was in far too deep.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: hi everyone! I sincerely thank each and every one of you for showing so much love towards the story. I'm so so so glad you guys are enjoying it! Leave a review :)

Disclaimer: I own copies of the Twilight books, that's it…. Not the plot…. Especially Edward…. Don't remind me.

EPOV

I waited at the front door, staring longingly out the window for Bella to arrive to work on the project. I was excited to see her, especially after yesterday.

We had sent text messages back and forth all day long. The conversations flowed as if we have known each other for years. It was never awkward or uncomfortable. I was starting to grow very fond of her and the strong connection we seemed to have was impossible to ignore at this point.

I still couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong with Bella. Well, not with Bella, but in her life. I simply couldn't ignore the thoughts that haunted me at night and made me wonder why she was so introverted and fearful of the world. It confused me and made me upset all at once. I was really beginning to care for her and I hated seeing the ones I care for to be in any type of pain. I needed to, somehow, figure out a way to let her now that I would be there for her if she needed me.

I opened the door as soon as I saw her truck chug up my driveway. She waved before parking it and getting out. It was adorable how tiny she was compared to the huge thing, and how she had to literally jump out of it.

"Hey, Edward," her sweet voice rang as she walked closer and closer to me. She looked so happy, which made her look so beautiful. Her eyes were bright and warm, her smile radiant.

"Hey, you ready to work?"

"Of course! We're finally almost done," she reminded me. This was the first time in my life that I didn't want to finish a project.

We made our way up to my room as Bella asked where my family was.

"My parents are in Port Angeles and Alice is over at Rosalie and Jasper's."

She nodded in understanding as we plopped onto my bed and I put on the usual mixtape. This was becoming routine for me. A routine that I thoroughly enjoyed and dreaded seeing the end of. I plopped down next to her on the bed, sitting far enough to give her some space, but close enough to satisfy myself. I didn't understand why I loved being near her. I just did.

Bella and I finished the project, even though it wasn't due for five days. After I shut my laptop, she scrambled her stuff together, getting ready to leave.

"Do you wanna stay for a little and talk again, like last time?" I asked. I really didn't want her to leave. My attachment for her was starting to actually freak me out because I couldn't explain it, but I figured I didn't need an explanation right now. I would let myself be happy.

"Sure, but I have to be home in time to do chores."

"Do you always do chores?"

"Um, well, yeah."

"That's actually pretty cool, I bet your dad likes that."

She frowned, a clouded look appearing in her eyes. I immediately wished I took back what I said. What did I say wrong?

"Yeah, for the most part," her voice was quiet.

"Tell me about your dad," I insisted. I wanted to know everything about her.

"Um, there's uh, not much t-to know, really…" she trailed off, gazing out my window. I wondered why she wasn't looking me in the eye and why she seemed to fold into herself.

"Well, he's your step father, right?"

"Yeah, he is, b-but, he and I don't always get along s-so, I'd rather talk, um, about something else, if you don't mind."

Okay, so he was definitely a sore subject. I made a mental note to not bring him up next time we hung out.

That was when I realized, the project was finished. Bella and I wouldn't hangout anymore after today.

That upset me. I didn't want this to come to an end. The one friend I've ever made besides Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper that doesn't royally annoy me. I could still talk to her in school, but that wasn't enough for me. Should I ask her to hangout? That wouldn't hurt anything, right? I'll talk to her a little more today and then right before she leaves, I'll ask.

"Okay," I agreed.

She looked around my bedroom and sighed before popping a random question. "So, what are your plans for the future? Ya know, after we graduate."

"I really want to follow in my father's footsteps and become a doctor."

Her eyes widened, she was clearly impressed. My ego really liked that. "Wow, that's amazing. Where are you planning on going to school?"

I shrugged. "Not sure yet. Definitely somewhere in Washington. I don't want to be too far from my family." I felt like such a nerd, but I wasn't going to lie to her.

She smiled so beautifully that my skin broke out in goosebumps. "You would be a good doctor. I'll contact you in a decade and ask which hospital you're at so you can treat me every time my clumsy-ass falls and breaks a bone."

I laughed loudly. "I'll make sure to nurse you back to health, always."

"Good, I have faith in you," she chuckled.

"Well, thank you. Are you going to college?"

She looked down at her hands and sighed lowly, seeming frustrated.

"Um, I'm not sure yet," she whispered.

"Why not?"

"Well, uh, there's the whole, um, money thing. It's really expensive. And, I'm just, um, not sure if I would be happy in college." She sounded truly confused and upset. I grabbed her hand. Her face whipped up and she looked me in the eye. I still didn't let go of her hand, wanting her to listen to me.

"Bella, there's financial aid, scholarships, and state grants that you could take advantage of. And, you're a great person. You would have no trouble finding friends or being happy in college, or anywhere for that matter, you just have to try." My voice was intense, pleading almost. I just couldn't stand Bella being so upset, lonely and confused.

"It's not that easy."

"Yes it is, trust me. Why do you think so lowly of yourself, Bella? I can tell that you do."

She shook her head, casting her eyes down again. I gently crooked my finger under her chin, forcing her to look at me.

Tears pooled in her brown orbs. I instantly wiped them away, not giving a single fuck about how intimate this moment was. I fucking hated the sight of tears in her eyes.

"You're worth more than you think you are," I whispered.

"No," she uttered sadly, my heart breaking at the sound of her pain-stricken voice.

"Yes," I argued. "I'm here for you, Bella, I need you to understand that."

"Thank you, Edward," she breathed before ducking her head again, hiding from me. I wrapped her up into my arms and kissed her forehead in a friendly gesture while she rested her head lightly on my chest. I could have sat like that forever, I didn't want to let her go.

We sat like that for a few minutes, just finding peace in each other.

I can't believe it took me this long to realize it.

I was growing feelings for Bella. Feelings past friendship. It was just an innocent crush, but it was something.

How could this all have happened in five days?

This was why I never wanted her to leave after we were finished working, and why I was at a crazy party, but only wanted to talk to her, and why I loved texting her all day yesterday, and why I defended her so fiercely when Tanya was being a bitch, and why I was so concerned when she seemed scared of her father.

How was I to approach this, though? Bella is not the typical girl. It takes a lot for her to open up. Would I wait until she was ready? And ready for what? What did I want? How strong were my feelings? Was I even ready for a relationship, or anything related to that? I built my walls back up after _she_ tore my heart out of my chest. Was I willing to give myself the chance to get hurt all over again? I definitely needed a blunt. But, I figured that my emotions were less important than making Bella feel better at the moment.

I let her go and slowly inched away so I could look at her face.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yes, thanks to you," she smiled sincerely, placing her hand on top of mine in a silent thanks.

"I just don't want to see you upset, Bella."

"You know, your kindness throughout this whole project meant more to me than you think," she admitted, blushing profusely.

"Well, why does it have to stop now that we finished the project? We could still hangout just like this. What about tomorrow after school? We could do homework together or something?" I silently prayed that she would agree. I didn't want this to be the last time I experienced that fuzzy feeling from her.

Her eyes grew wide and she looked around the room frantically before looking down and keeping her head there.

"I'm not sure, Edward."

"Why not?"

"Because, I, uh have to cook dinner for m-my dad and do chores, um, and stuff…" she trailed off. I wasn't 100% convinced.

"Every day?" I challenged. There was no way she was busy all day, every day. She had to have some extra time, right?

"Yes, I'm sorry," she whispered before heaving herself off my bed and getting her things together in a hurry, running out the door before I even had the chance to say anything.

I woke up the next day in a bad mood, and the only reason why was Bella.

After she left, I walked to the meadow and smoked a blunt, lying in the damp grass and staring at the clouds, wondering why she ran out on me like that. I definitely did something to offend her, but I wasn't sure what. I truly didn't believe I did anything wrong.

While I laid in the meadow – and didn't spend the time worrying about whether or not Bella hated me – I imagined her face in my head. God, I was fucking high. I saw images of her every time I closed my eyes. She was so fucking beautiful. And it was a beauty I've never witnessed before. It wasn't the type of beauty that was displayed with makeup or skimpy outfits. It was subtle, yet overwhelming at the same time, somehow. It was a warm, radiant beauty. The kind that took you by surprise and burned you to the very core of your existence.

Shit.

I decided against sitting next to her at lunch, I didn't want to crowd her or bother her. Clearly she needed space, and I was willing to give that.

When I saw her in the cafeteria or in history, she looked sad. So fucking sad. I hated it. What was stopping her eyes from glowing? I wanted to sprint up to her, lift her into my arms, and take her away from whatever was hurting her. I knew I couldn't do that, though. She needed to be alone.

It still bothered me and hurt me. I missed her. I spent the next couple of days ignoring her. I was just trying to do what I felt was best, what she clearly wanted. I knew, however, that I wouldn't be able to focus on anything until I at least knew why Bella was against spending time with me. It was like a cloud that constantly remained over my head. The storm wouldn't clear until I talked to her again.

"Edward, are you sure you don't want to go to the homecoming dance?" My Mom asked outside my bedroom door after school Friday.

"Yes, Mom. It's too late to buy a ticket."

"Alice told me you can pay at the door to get in."

I groaned. "Really, I don't want to go. It's just gonna be a shitshow."

"Watch your mouth, Edward." I knew she wasn't actually mad. I swore all the time.

I heard her footsteps descend down the stairs as I all but screamed into my pillow. I was so fucking pissed off. I couldn't stop thinking about Bella.

I gave her enough space, right? It's been five fucking days. Sending her a text wouldn't hurt, right?

I was already unlocking my phone and typing a message before I changed my mind. I wouldn't allow my brain to interfere with what my heart wanted. Not right now. I couldn't fucking take it anymore.

 _Hey, how have you been?_

Her reply was almost instant.

 _Okay. You?_

 _I've been better. To be honest, I miss you._

 _I miss you, too._

I smiled like a smug bastard.

 _We don't have to keep missing each other, you know._

Her reply took about a half hour. An agonizing, annoyingly-long half hour.

 _Are you busy at all this weekend?_

I typed back so quickly that I was afraid my thumbs would fall off.

 _Nope, why?_

 _My Dad is going out of town for the whole weekend, so I don't have to cook dinner or do chores. We can hangout, if you would like._

I swear my fucking smile was so big, my face was about to split in half.

 _Would you like to come over tonight?_

 _Aren't you going to the homecoming dance?_

 _Definitely not. You can come over anytime._

 _Okay, I'll be there at 6._

I showered and shaved around 5, wanting to look presentable for Bella. It took me a pretty long time to decide on what to wear, but I settled for a pair of dark jeans and a Beatles T-shirt. Too casual? This wasn't even a date, why was I so in over my head?

I was so fucking excited, though. Her agreeing to see me allowed so much stress to immediately exit my body, leaving a warm feeling in its place. I was beyond glad to be able to spend time with her again. Jesus fucking Christ, this was becoming too much. I was getting attached to another girl, something I promised myself not to do until my heart was completely healed.

But I couldn't fucking stop myself.

"Hey, Mom, Bella's coming over at 6," I called downstairs.

"I thought you handed in the project today?"

"I did, she's coming over to just hangout."

I heard the smile in her voice. "Is that why you didn't want go to the dance?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, Mom, I didn't want to go to the dance because I literally didn't want to."

"Okay," she sang teasingly.

I waited impatiently downstairs for Bella, eating pizza and watching TV to pass the time. Finally, a little after 6, I heard the doorbell ring.

I all but ran to the door, too excited to see her. I opened the door and was met with the beautiful smile and eyes that I haven't see all week, the one that causes my heart to race and my smile to brighten. The one that froze time and made me stand still in awe. She was happy.

So, I was happy.

"Bella," I breathed before pulling her in for a hug, her body fitting so perfectly in my arms.

There was no way this was healthy. I couldn't even go a full week without her? Whatever, I would be happy while it lasted.

"Hi," she giggled shyly.

"Bella, how are you, dear?" Mom called and gave Bella a hug, causing her to blush, but smile nonetheless. Watching her and my Mom interact made me happy. Maybe a little too happy.

"Good, how about you?"

"I'm good! There's some pizza in the kitchen that Carlisle and I ordered, help yourself," she suggested before heading into her bedroom to get ready for her night out with Dad.

"She's too sweet," Bella admired.

I nodded. "Well there's a large pizza in there, and us two are the only ones home for the night, so take as much as you want," I gestured towards the kitchen.

She and I each brought two pieces of pizza and some juice up to my room. Once situated in the bed next to each other, I turned the TV on and searched for a good movie.

"Anything you want to watch?" I asked.

"Nothing in particular."

"So, where'd your Dad go for the weekend?"

"Some type of police training in Seattle."

I settled on Step Brothers, number one because it was funny, number two because I wanted to see her laugh.

"It's really nice to actually hangout and not have to worry about the project, ya know? We can actually spend real time together," I said.

"Yeah, I know. It does feel nice," she smiled sheepishly. I resisted the urge to put my arm around her like a thirteen year old in a movie theater on his first date.

"Bella, I don't mean to be a bother, but it's been annoying me all week. What did I say on Sunday that made you so upset?"

She frowned and looked down, playing absentmindedly with a loose string on my bedspread.

"It's complicated…" she trailed off.

"I'm sure I can keep up."

"My Dad is… overprotective. Since he's, um, a cop, all he sees is the bad stuff that happens in the world. He, um, pretty much forces me to stay inside and just spend time to myself. I won't get… hurt that way."

"Oh, please, what could honestly happen to you in Forks, Washington?" I scoffed.

"You'd be surprised."

I frowned at her serious tone. "Well, you have me to ward off all the bad guys. Call me 'Superman' from now on. Your Dad can't get mad at you for hanging out with someone as protective and strong as Superman!"

She laughed, her perfect smile almost blinding my vision. In a good way. Definitely a good way.

"We don't live in a comic book, though, Edward. This is the real world."

"It doesn't have to be. Everybody has fantasies they want to experience, who says they can't?"

"What's your fantasy?" She asked, her voice husky. I wasn't sure if it was on purpose or not.

"Well, I'm not gonna say any names, but there's this girl that I've recently became friends with. She has a hard time spending time with me, but I really wanna spend time with her. More often than she wants to. My fantasy is to have more time with her."

She sighed and rested her head on my shoulder, hugging my waist.

"At least I'm here now," she reassured.

"And tomorrow?" I asked, wrapping an arm comfortably around her.

"If you would like," her smile was kind.

"Of course," I breathed, lying my cheek against the top of her head. She smelled like strawberries. Intoxicating, mouthwatering, delicious strawberries.

"What's your fantasy, Bella?" I whispered into her hair.

She looked up at me with serious eyes. "To be happy."

"Why aren't you happy?"

She shook her head, gazing softly out the window. Her eyes traveled all over the trees, observing them all. Or, when phrased differently, hiding from me.

"You can trust me," I uttered, which seemed to shock her. Her body froze, but a smile played on her lips nonetheless.

"Well, as I said earlier, my dad doesn't let me do anything and we don't, um, always get along, and I'm not exactly cool in school…"

"Who gives a fuck about what those idiots at school think? Seriously, none of them are worth it. All the girls are clones of each other, and same with the guys. The girls are thirsty for attention and will do anything to get it, and the guys are complete toolbags. That's just one of the many reasons why I value our friendship so much, Bella, because you're so much different."

"Thanks," she laughed. "What are the other reasons?"

"Because we get along so well and have great conversations. It's never awkward or uncomfortable, it's just natural. And you don't walk around with a bitchy attitude or shiny heels. Everything about you is beautiful. Oh, and let's not forget your kickass taste in music," I playfully fluffed her hair.

She swatted my hand away, acting as though she was a ferocious beast, but she was actually just a little kitten. The rosy color that stained her cheeks, however, told me she was not all that mad.

"Thank you, Edward. That really means a lot to me. And, I feel the same way. You have so much more substance than all the other guys at school. I'm really glad we're friends."

"Me, too," I was definitely beaming. "I want to be here for you, Bella. I can sense that something is troubling you, and I'm not going to push you to tell me or anything. But I'm not going anywhere."

Her eyes widened, and – for a second – she looked like she was about to protest, but instead she smiled and grabbed my hand, squeezing it in a silent thanks.

Bella snuggled nicely into my side, and we stayed quiet throughout the rest of the movie. We would laugh together, and I would watch her beautiful wavy hair bounce as her whole body shook with laughter, how her nose scrunched up when she chuckled.

Boy, was I in too deep.


	9. Chapter 9 (AUTHOR'S NOTE)

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

hello everyone! I understand that I had taken an extremely long hiatus from this story and I apologize. A lot of things were going on in my life while I was writing this story. However, I am back and ready to finish! Hopefully you guys are still interested in reading! I have written most of the story as of now, I only have a few chapters to finish and it will be complete. I have been working diligently as of late and I really think you will all enjoy! I will post the rest of the story when I finish it for sure. As always, thank you all so much for your support! I promise you will be reading the rest soon :)


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I'M BAAAACKKKK! I'm so glad many of you are still interested in my story! Again, I am SO sorry for such a long, unexcused hiatus. I'm so happy to be back, though! Let me know what you think

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight! All rights reserved to Stephanie Meyer.

BPOV:

Waking up on Saturday was one of the easiest things I've ever done. It was because last night at Edward's was one of the best nights of my life. We talked about nothing and everything until about midnight, and we were completely shocked that it was that late. He walked me to my car and asked if I wanted to hangout again today. Of course I said yes.

Being so close to him all night made me feel things I've never felt before. I felt complete, whole, over the moon, at peace. Name any positive emotion, and that's what I felt last night. Just watching him laugh, or run his fingers through his messy hair while he told a story, or his green eyes glowing when he talked about his family and friends, was enough make me fall for him even more. This crush was growing out of control.

I knew this was a bad idea. I was allowing myself to get attached this weekend, but once this weekend was over, there was no telling when I would be able to hangout with Edward again. I would take the chances I had, though, and suffer the consequences later.

I felt complete bliss when Phil told me he was leaving for the weekend. Three whole days without Phil. Three fucking days. I was way above cloud 9.

Suddenly, my phone began ringing on the bedside table next to me. I smiled, already knowing who it was.

"Hey, Edward."

"Bella, good morning!" He sounded chirpy.

"Good morning to you, too! So you still want me to come over at 11, right?"

"Let's see, it's 10 now, so yeah that works."

"And you're really not going to tell me where you're taking me?" I whined.

"Nope," he chuckled, popping the 'p.'

"I really hate you, Cullen. I told you last night how much I hate surprises."

"Oh, I know, that's what makes it even more enjoyable."

"Whatever," I mumbled in annoyance, causing him to laugh.

"Are you sure you don't want me to pick you up? I feel bad that you have to drive here."

"Really, I don't mind."

"I'm sure your truck does, it's always whining at you to please stop driving it. Seriously, Bella, the noises that thing makes are not okay at all," he teased, clearly getting a kick out of himself.

"Okay, if you're gonna be cocky, then why don't you take a look at it and fix it?" I knew he didn't know how to.

"We could go back and forth all day, Swan, but I fear we would end up missing our plans."

"Oh, shit, you're right," I giggled.

"I'm gonna go take a shower. Text me when you leave your house, okay?"

"Alright, see you soon, Edward," I breathed into the phone, counting down the moments until I would be able to be with him again.

After I showered and ate breakfast, I was basically skipping out to my truck, eager as all hell to see Edward.

I literally sang along with the radio as I drove. And I never fucking sing with the radio. I haven't felt this way since my mother was alive. I could honestly say it wasn't just because Phil wasn't home.

Edward was waiting for me in the driveway, holding a plastic bag in one hand and a cup holder filled with two coffees in the other. There was a dark red blanket folded over his arm. I smiled and waved before getting out of the car.

"What's all this?" I asked as I made my way over to him.

"A gourmet breakfast for us to start our day with," he bowed playfully and presented me with the bag. The print on it read "Taco Bell"

"Taco Bell?" I giggled, digging inside to see what the bag had to offer. Honestly, I had never had any type of fast food in my life. I was excited to see what all the hype was about. Mom never let me have it, she was always against fast food, saying she was sure there were bugs or dirt or anything gross like that cooked into the food. She was a tad crazy.

"It's only the most amazing fast food chain there is! So, you ready to go? We can eat when we get there."

"Okay, are you driving, or do you want me to?" I asked, pointing to my truck.

"Silly Bella, we're not going to need a car. The walk is about ten minutes, follow me," he gestured towards the woods behind the house. I gulped when I realized how uncoordinated I was. I was definitely bound to trip over a tree branch and make a complete idiot of myself.

Edward helped me along the way, holding my hand when the path became tricky. It felt great to hold a part of him to me, even if it was only his hand, and I hated when he would let go.

"Okay, here it is," he whispered before pulling away branches that were in front of our eyes.

I felt my jaw drop. Ahead of us was a beautiful meadow, with tall grass and wildflowers all over. Since it was October, the plants were not completely vibrant, but it was beautiful nonetheless. On the other side of the meadow sat a small pond. I imagined how nice it would be to swim there in the summer. Mom would have loved it.

"Edward, this is beautiful," I spun around in circles, taking it all in.

"Thanks, I stumbled upon it when I was taking a run a few years back. It's become my escape, ya know? When things get tough. I love it."

"I bet you've brought lots of girls here, it sure has a certain charm," I teased, even though the thought of Edward with another girl made me want to crawl into a hole.

"Actually, no, I've never found someone special enough to bring here before you," he muttered.

I looked up and saw him staring fiercely into my eyes. It was as if he was talking to me with them. It was intense, passionate, mesmerizing. I couldn't look away.

Edward smiled my favorite crooked smile and snaked his beautiful arms around my waist, engulfing me in a tight hug that made the fuzziest fucking feeling course through my veins.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, breathing in his delicious scent. Edward was intoxicating. I was hooked.

"Well, let's eat before it gets cold," he suggested before spreading the blanket out in the middle of the meadow. He sat down and smiled up at me, patting the spot next to him.

I plopped down and dug in. I was completely satisfied with my first fast food experience. The food was so unhealthy, but fucking delicious.

After we finished eating, we lied on our backs, staring up into the sky. It was overcast today, one of those days when you're waiting for the rain but it never actually comes. I didn't mind those days. At least they weren't wet.

"Hey, Bella, remember the first time we worked on the project, and I said if we get an 'A,' then I'd buy us both tickets to see Coldplay?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Wanna check the grade?" Edward smirked, pulling his iPhone out of his jeans pocket.

"We just handed in the project yesterday, there's no way he'll have it graded by now," I objected. I knew Mr. Banner always graded our work quickly. I was just trying to figure out a way to stall until I made up an excuse as to why I can't go to the concert. I knew Edward was stubborn. If we got an 'A,' he would sure as hell want to go.

"It won't hurt to check, I'll look at my grades now." Curse technology for being smart enough to have our grades accessible from our phones.

I watched as Edward typed away on his phone, a concentrated look on his face. I wanted to touch his face so fucking badly. Just feel his smooth skin under my fingertips.

"Yes! We got a 96, Bella! Looks like we're going to see Coldplay," Edward pumped his fists in the air in victory.

I forced a smile onto my face. "Well, who knows if we'll even remember by the time they come back around here?"

Edward scoffed and threw his arm around my shoulders. I immediately relaxed into his embrace. "Oh, come on, Bella, you really think I'm going to forget? I'm offended that you would even accuse me of such a thing."

I swatted his arm playfully and listened to how happy my laugh sounded.

"But, in all seriousness, how could I ever forget about going to a Coldplay concert with a girl as amazing and beautiful as you? I would be crazy to forget such a thing."

I blushed and hid my head in the crook of his neck, wrapping my arm around his waist. I loved the feeling I got whenever I was close to him.

"You're crazy," I muttered into his sweet skin.

"How so?"

"You act like I'm the best thing in the world." My lips were almost touching his neck. I had to fight every muscle in my body to stop myself from getting any closer. I could not mess this up and scare him off. Edward did not see me that way.

"You sure as hell are one of the best things in my world," he sighed, seeming relaxed. I looked up at him and saw that his eyes were shut, the most peaceful look on his gorgeous face. I almost whimpered at how perfect he truly was.

"You're the best thing in my world, Edward, thank you for being such a great friend," I whispered and snuggled back into his neck, where I was starting to believe I belonged.

"Bella, have you ever had a boyfriend?" Edward suddenly asked, a hint of nervousness hidden in his tone.

I felt my face grow hot. It was never a fun time to admit that you're 18 and never had a boyfriend. "No, why?"

"Just wondering," he mumbled.

"Well, what about you?"

"No, I've never had a boyfriend," he chuckled.

I slapped his arm playfully. "Smartass."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I've had one serious girlfriend, but it sucked."

"Will you tell me about it?" I pressed.

It was silent for a few moments, and I wondered if I did something to offend him. Finally, he spoke up. "Maybe one day."

I left it at that, not wanting to make Edward upset. I would just relish in the feeling of being next to him.

"I seriously cannot believe we got caught in that storm like that!" I laughed loudly as I stood shivering in Edward's garage.

"We suck," he chuckled and threw a towel at me. I ran it through my hair and felt a tad warmer.

He and I stayed at the meadow until about 2:00 when it started drizzling. I've never hated Mother Nature so much. We were having a great time just talking and being in each other's company.

We walked back at a normal pace, and then began running like idiots through the woods when the rain fell harder. At first, we tried to outrun it, but there was no use. We slowed down and just laughed like maniacs, our melodic voices bouncing off the trees. I would never forget that moment, when I felt so free. So happy.

"Well, you can shower here if you want. Alice is upstairs in her room, you can use her shower and I'll go use mine. Um, as for clothes, I'm not sure if you will fit into Alice's clothes since she's so short, so when I get out of the shower I'll bring some of my clothes into Alice's room for you, okay? Just come into my room when you're done."

I nodded. Edward smiled and headed inside. I took my shoes off and shimmied my way after him, heading towards Alice's room.

"Come in!" She exclaimed after I knocked softly. I slowly opened the door, peeking my head in, she was curled up in bed watching a movie on her laptop.

"Bella! What happened to you? Where's Edward?" She asked, bolting up out of her position and staring at me with wide eyes.

"Edward and I were on a walk and we got caught in the rain, he's in the shower now," I wasn't sure if he wanted me to tell anyone about the meadow. It seemed like something he kept to himself. And now me, too.

"Well, come here and let me help you," she pulled my arm and yanked me into her bathroom. I winced silently at the way she grabbed my bruises. They were fading, but they were there.

"Here's a towel and a washcloth. You can use whatever products you want for your hair or whatever. Do you want music?"

I quirked my eyebrow in confusion. She rolled her eyes playfully and went out into her room. A few seconds later, pop music was blaring from all around her bedroom and bathroom.

"Alice, that's really loud," I shouted. She laughed and turned it down a few notches.

"I love my surround sound. I literally cannot live without music. Okay, anyway, go ahead and clean up!" She clapped her hands in excitement and dove back into her bed, playing around on her iPhone.

I undressed and placed my wet clothes on top of a dry towel on the floor, not wanting to make a mess. I stepped into the shower and literally moaned at how amazing the hot water felt on my freezing cold skin. I stayed in there for about a half hour, scrubbing every nook and cranny of my body. I wanted to smell as nice as possible for Edward.

After getting out, I wrapped myself in a towel and peeked into Alice's room. She hopped off her bed and handed me a pair of sweatpants and a Tshirt.

"Edward brought this for you. He said to tell you that these clothes are pretty old so they may fit you," she smiled warmly. I thanked her and headed into the bathroom to change.

Edward gave me a pair of black sweatpants and a plain green T-shirt, like the color of his eyes. I snuggled myself deeper into his clothes when I put them on, inhaling his delicious scent. I hoped he never asked for them back.

"Bella, I'm bored. Can I put makeup on you? I would love to see what you look like with it," Alice gave me her biggest puppy dog eyes when I made me way back into her bedroom. Curse her. She was really fucking good at that.

"Oh, I don't know, Alice…"

"Please, Bella?! I won't put a lot on, I just wanna play around. I'll make you look good, I promise."

I sighed in defeat and plopped into her chair. She squealed and got to work right away.

I was actually pleasantly surprised. She only put on some mascara, eyeliner, and nude lipstick, but it looked good. I wonder what Edward will think.

"Wow, it looks great!" I praised.

"Oh, I know," she bragged and brushed imaginary dirt off her shoulder.

"Now, go to Edward's room! I'll put your wet clothes in the washer," she literally pushed me out the door and into the hallway. I wonder why she shoved me back to Edward a second after she finished my makeup.

I took a deep breath and padded into his room. He was lying on his bed, gazing out his window.

His head popped up when he heard me and he smiled widely, his eyes bright and filled with happiness. "Wow, Bella, you look beautiful," he praised.

I blushed and looked down at my feet.

"Come here," he called softly, gesturing towards the empty space on the bed next to him. I dove into the bed, lying down next to him.

"I'm guessing Alice did your makeup."

"Yes."

"Well, you really look great," he sounded nervous. I was definitely redder than a tomato.

"Thank you."

"So, what do you wanna do now? We still have all day ahead of us."

I tapped my chin. "Hmm, I'm not sure. Do you have anything in mind?"

"I think Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper are coming over later tonight, but that's not for another four hours or so. Do you want to just hangout here and have a movie day or something?" He suggested. I nodded enthusiastically.

He connected his laptop to the TV and put on a random low budget Netflix movie. And that's how we spent our day. Laughing at horrible movies on Netflix. It was extremely entertaining. I haven't laughed that hard in years. It was the most amazing feeling in the world.

I started to fear what would ever happen if Edward couldn't be in my life anymore. I needed him. And that terrified me.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: hey everyone! I hope all is well :) I seriously am so happy to be back! Review and let me know how you feel about this chapter! It's a big chapter in the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight!

EPOV

This was bad. Very bad.

I was lying in bed next to Bella, laughing with her at that fucking Sharknado movie on Netflix. Seriously, so many scenarios could happen in this world for people to make movies about, did these idiots really think a Sharknado was one of those scenarios that would be a box office hit? I shook my head in disappointment towards society.

That wasn't what was bad, though. What was bad was that I was on my second boner of the day, and it was all Bella's fault.

Being so close to her did things to me that did not happen when we were just partners for a project. Now that we're good friends, it's a whole new ball game.

I'm so much more physically and emotionally attracted to her than I really thought I'd ever be. Watching her blush when she was embarrassed, or seeing her eyes twinkle when she laughed at something stupid I'd say did wonders to me.

Alice wasn't helping either by putting makeup on her, even though Bella is just as beautiful without it. However, the makeup enhanced her features, giving her more of a mature, womanly glow. I had a feeling Alice's intentions weren't stemming from sheer boredom. Alice is my twin sister, and I swear to God, twin telepathy is definitely a thing. I could read her like a book, and vice versa. She knew I was lonely. She was trying to set me up with Bella.

I wondered if Alice could read me enough to know that I was way ahead of her. I was already way more than interested in Bella, but how to approach the situation? Bella is so much… more than other girls. I cannot simply treat her with the same boring, everyday romance story. She deserved so much more than that. Was I able to provide her with that? Was I good enough for her? I have no fucking idea.

"Edward, did you hear me?" Her voice shook me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"I think your friends are here. I'm pretty sure I heard Emmett yelling something about 'owning Alice in pool'."

I smiled. "Yes, then you're right. Emmett and Alice play pool every time everyone is over. They're both very good and make for an interesting competition. Would you like to go down and watch?"

"Um, sure," she mumbled quietly.

"We don't have to, if you don't-"

She cut me off by placing her little hand over my mouth. I resisted the urge to kiss it. I'm turning into a fucking girl.

"No, I would love to."

We headed into the basement to see Emmett and Alice completely in the zone, both staring intently at the table, planning their next move.

"Bella, hey! I knew that was your truck outside," Rosalie called from the couch, waving Bella over.

Bella smiled sheepishly and made her way over to Rosalie, stubbing her toe on the bottom of the couch in the process.

Jasper gazed knowingly across the room before nodding his head for me to go stand next to him. I sighed deep in my chest. Shit. He knew already.

"So, I thought you handed in that project yesterday?" He snickered.

"We did. She's here to just hangout."

"Are you sure? Because that look in your eye says otherwise," he mused. I cursed him in my head. He could always sense how people are feeling.

"Look, Jazz. I'm just as confused by this as you are, and-"

"Confused? No. I'm not confused."

"You aren't?"

"Of course not, this makes way too much sense. I completely see how easy it would be for you to grow feelings for her. She's perfect for you, Edward."

"How could you know that?"

He rolled his eyes. "It isn't rocket science. I've noticed you've been moping around lately, but not ever since you've been paired with Bella. I may not know her very well, but I know her enough to see that she's different. Special. I can tell you've been looking for something like that. Well, now what you've been looking for is right in front of your damn eyes. Act now, man, before it's too late." Damn, he is wise.

I wasn't confused by his words, though. I knew I had to act soon. Not to sound cocky, because I could really care less, but I was popular at school. If I hung around Bella, she would be noticed much more by our peers. If I showed an interest in her, other guys would, too. What if another guy beat me to asking her out? I couldn't let that happen. I'm not sure if I was able to see her with another guy. It would crush me.

I peered over to see her laughing at something Rosalie had said, the smile not only shown with her mouth, but also with her eyes. She was breathtaking.

I knew in that moment, I would have to definitely act soon. I had to form a plan to tell her how I felt. I could feel my palms sweating just thinking of it.

Fuck.

"Okay, I just need some more pillows," Emmett called from the floor.

After having a pool tournament between all six of us, and Emmett winning, he declared a giant sleepover. Of course everyone was all for it, given how much fun we were having. We had decided to gather as many pillows and blankets as we could and pile them onto the floor in the basement for a "campout."

I was truly shocked when Bella said she was on board with the sleepover. Not that I thought she was boring - actually, quite the opposite - but I did not think she was comfortable enough with everyone to sleep here. But, after assuring me that she was having a great time, and didn't need to be home until late afternoon tomorrow, I was more than thrilled.

"Ow! Alice, my fucking head actually kind of hurts," Emmett's boisterous grunt shook me from my thoughts.

"Kids, dinner!" Mom's voice rang from upstairs. Emmett literally sprinted up the stairs, while the rest of us followed, giggling at his antics.

Mom really outdid herself. She was ecstatic when hearing that everyone was spending the night. She loved having everyone and caring for them. She prepared a huge dinner of cheeseburgers, hot dogs, macaroni and cheese, fruit salad and pasta salad.

"Help yourselves to whatever you'd like, there's coke, sprite, milk and orange juice in the fridge," she sang while everyone loaded their plates. The food smelled delicious and I felt my stomach rumble in agreement.

"Mrs. C, if I wasn't with Rosalie, I swear I would marry you," Emmett bellowed, causing Dad to react by throwing a noodle at his face.

"Ow!"

"Even though you won't be eighteen until next month, so that's completely illegal, thank you anyway, dear," Mom laughed.

Emmett's eyes widened with sheer happiness. "You know my birthday?"

Mom rolled her eyes. "Of course I do, you're like a second son to me. All of you are like children to me. I love having you guys. Even you, Bella. Even though you've just entered our lives, you're a great addition already." Bella blushed and thanked her in a shy whisper.

We talked about random topics while we ate, everyone enjoying each other's company.

"What do you guys want to do now?" Rosalie asked as we were about to head back into the basement.

"Movie night!" Alice cheered, earning a high five from an approving Emmett.

"But, first, we have to get into our pajamas and whatnot, so this is a real slumber party. Boys, go up into Edward's room and change, and talk amongst yourselves when you finish. Rosalie, Bella, come with me to my room. Edward, give them pajamas and I will give you girls some. Move out!" Alice commanded and yanked Rosalie and Bella by their arms, pulling them upstairs.

"Well, I guess we have to go upstairs and change," Jasper chuckled.

I lead the way to my room, disappointed when I tried sneaking a glance into Alice's room to find the door shut. My twin telepathy told me Alice was planning something.

"Dude, are you and Bella, like, a thing?" Emmett asked with an amused glint in his eyes.

"No, Em, they're not, but he wants to be," Jasper teased, wiggling his eyebrows. I shut them both up by throwing basketball shorts and Tshirts their way.

"Wait, you like Bella? This is great!" Emmett was basically shouting. I practically ran across the room before I slapped my hand over his mouth.

"What?" His muffled voice was appalled.

"She might hear you! Yes, I like her, okay? But you can't make it obvious. I have to figure out a way to tell her on my own."

"Alright, sheesh, I won't tell her. But seriously, bro, this is great. I already love Bella. Especially after I played her in pool and she had no idea what she was doing. I will never get over how she almost drove the stick into the wall," he laughed at the memory, causing me to smile. Watching Bella try to play sports was definitely entertaining. She fumbled around the table the entire time, failing miserably and blushing throughout the length of every game she played.

We changed and headed back downstairs into the basement, watching a football game and talking amongst ourselves while we waited for the girls.

"We're back," Alice's voice rang throughout the room. We turned our heads and I literally almost groaned in sexual frustration.

Bella was wearing a very tight long-sleeved dark blue shirt with a V-neck, exposing her cleavage. She wore light gray cotton shorts, showing off her beautiful, creamy legs. Her hair was thrown up into a cute ponytail on top her head, the ends curled lightly. However, it wasn't just her cleavage or legs that had me sent into a whirlwind of feelings. It was her expression, too. She looked so happy. Confident, almost. Her eyes shined with bliss, her smile completely radiant. It was simply impossible to look away.

She approached me with a wary expression, looking down at her outfit to make sure nothing was wrong.

No, Bella, nothing is wrong with you. You're absolutely perfect. Perfectly perfect.

I snapped into reality and smiled gently. "Bella, you're beautiful."

She blushed bashfully and looked down at her feet, her lips twitching into a timid smile.

"Bella, get your ass over here for movie time!" Rosalie ordered.

Bella snuggled in between Alice and me, sharing a big blanket with me.

We spent the night eating popcorn and Twinkies, drinking beer that Emmett brought, and watching movies from a saga about a young girl who falls for a vampire and is thrown into his immortal world. I scoffed when Alice and Rosalie suggested it, but the movies were not as bad as I had assumed they were.

Bella refused the beer, and I had to remember that she probably has never had alcohol. Not trying to make her uncomfortable, I only drank one myself. Everybody else was casually sipping, too caught up in the movies to get drunk.

Everyone was asleep by the time 2:30 AM came around. I, however, was wide awake.

I felt like a fucking stalker, but I couldn't keep my eyes off Bella while she slept. She looked so peaceful next to me. The moonlight cast a glow on her face, making her features sparkle. I found myself lightly stroking her cheek, relishing in the softness of her skin.

She began to stir and her eyelids fluttered a few times before she opened them. I swiftly took my hand off her face before she noticed.

"Hmm, Edward? What time is it?"

"It's about 2:30. You can go back asleep."

"Why are you up?" She mumbled tiredly, but still worried.

"I'm not sure," I lied.

"Okay, well, I'm going to go upstairs and get a drink. Do you want anything?" She offered. She was actually trying to serve me in my own home.

"Nonsense, Bella. I'll get you a drink," I started getting up, but she followed anyway.

"I'll come with you."

We sat at the dining room table, looking out the window as we sipped our waters. The silence was comfortable. Everything was comfortable with Bella.

She slowly got up and headed closer to the window, looking up at the sky.

"It's a beautiful night," her small voice lightly danced off the walls. I smiled and joined her at the window.

"Yes, it is."

"Look how pretty the moon is, Edward! It's so hard to see the moon with the weather this town always has. Can we go outside and look at it, please?" She begged, even though she didn't need to. I would give her whatever she wanted.

I'm so in over my head.

I nodded and followed her into the backyard after swiftly grabbing some sweatshirts and sweatpants for us to go outside in. She used the blanket she had wrapped around her body and spread it out on the grass, pulling my hand down with her.

We lied on the blanket next to each other and looked up at the clear sky, a rare sight in Forks. The stars were everywhere, and they were beautiful.

"Oh, look, Edward! There's O' Ryan's Belt, and the Big Dipper!" She sang sweetly.

"You must really love stars, Bella."

"I do. My Mom and I always used to look at the stars from the tree outside my window whenever we had the chance. She showed me as many constellations that she could find. It always amazed me, ya know? The fact that we can literally see things that aren't even on this planet. It was one of my favorite things to do with my Mom." The heartbroken tone of her voice pained me. I hated seeing her upset. I wish I could take her to her Mom, so she could be happy.

"I'm sorry, Bella. She sounded like a great woman. I bet she's so proud of the person you've grown up to be."

"I hope so."

I looked over at her in disbelief. "How could she not be? You're easily the best person I've ever met. So kind, down to earth, caring. I mean it when I say you don't see yourself clearly, Bella."

She shook her head sadly. "There's more to me than you think, Edward."

"Like what?" I challenged. This girl will be the death of me. How could she not see how amazing she was? I ran my hands through my hair in frustration.

"Nothing, forget it," she whispered, gazing back up at the nighttime sky.

"You know you can tell me anything, Bella," I assured gently. She nodded slowly in understanding, keeping her eyes on the stars, but didn't say anything else.

"I feel like a part of you is always hiding from me. Sometimes, you're this free spirit whom I can talk to for hours and hours. Other times, you have this wall surrounding yourself, and it's hard as fuck to tear it down. Please, just help me figure you out."

"What if I don't want to be figured out?"

"Bella, all I'm doing is trying to help you."

"But, why? Can't you just be happy enough to see the 'free spirit part of me'," she used air quotes. "Or is that not enough?"

How was I supposed to explain myself to her? It wasn't enough, because I wanted all of her. As selfish as that sounds, it's true. I wanted to know why she built the wall up, what she is hiding. I wanted – no, needed – to understand everything about her.

"I, well… ugh, shit," I sighed.

Surprising Bella and myself, I grabbed her face gently in my hands and leaned in. She gasped lightly as she realized what I was doing. I didn't know how to tell her how I felt, so I thought I'd show her.

I carefully pressed my lips against hers. At first, she didn't kiss me back, but I didn't fucking care at that moment. Just feeling her soft, pouty lips against mine was more than enough to make me happy. My heart was racing in my chest when she finally kissed me back. Our lips molded together, causing my palms to sweat. I had kissed girls before, but never like this. Never with this much passion and meaning. My insides were on fire, burning with a sensation so strong that I was appalled.

She suddenly pulled away quickly, staring at me with fearful, depressed eyes. I mentally cursed myself.

"Edward, I… no. I have to go," she blurted before quickly getting up and all but running inside, most likely to gather her things.

I didn't have the strength to run after her. She regretted kissing me. I never thought a rejection would hurt this bad. It was almost hard to breathe.

Was there another guy? Did she just simply not see me in that way? My heart was breaking and I felt like punching something. I couldn't help but feel as though I had just ruined every chance I possibly had with her.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: don't hate me! Lmao it's all just part of the story. But thank you to everyone who has expressed interest and has shown kind words to my story! I love you all!

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight!

BPOV

The tears pooling in my eyes made it nearly impossible to drive home. My body was shaking with anger. Not towards Edward. No. Because I would be lying if I said I was mad that he kissed me. I've been dreaming of that moment for weeks. It was much better than I could have ever hoped. When our lips touched, every ounce of pain I'd ever felt in my life was completely washed away from my body. There was nothing in that moment besides him. It was piercing. I could feel myself slipping away into his touch so easily. It was the most magical, amazing, beautiful, special, spectacular, wonderful moment of my life. I have never felt so comfortable in my life, like my lips belonged pressed against his.

Why did he kiss me, though? Was it out of pity, because he senses something is wrong? Most likely. Was he just caught up in the intense moment? Maybe. Or did he really have the same feelings for me that I had for him? Well, he wouldn't anymore, if that was the case. Because I could no longer speak to him.

I was mad at myself. And I was mad at Phil.

Any other normal teenage girl could have just kissed Edward back, and then called all her girlfriends and told them the news. But, no, not me. I have no other choice but to push Edward out of my life, no matter how much fucking pain it's going to cause. When he kissed me, I realized that he was no longer safe. If I were to keep falling for him, I would become even more addicted to him, and Phil was bound to find out. I had to stay away from him for now on. To protect him.

It was my fault and Phil's fault for the way my life was. It was Phil's fault for ruining me in the first place. I could never live a normal life. I could never find love. I was stuck here forever, and Edward didn't deserve to deal with it, too. It was my fault, too, because I allowed Phil to keep doing this. Even though it was most likely impossible, I could try to get out of this life, somehow. I didn't know how though, and that's why I was so fucking mad at myself.

It was almost 3:30 AM when I made it back home. I made sure I collected my belongings and left Edward's right after he had kissed me. I couldn't bear to stay there. I needed to exit Edward's life immediately.

When I finally made it home, I ran inside and collapsed onto my bed, screaming profanities into my pillow. I cried for hours. Every bit of pain I've ever felt in my life came out. I cried for the loss of my Mom, for the fact that my biological father didn't want me, for the loss of my new friendships with Edward's friends and family, for the abuse I endure from Phil, and for the fact that I could never be with Edward. I sobbed as if a time bomb that was ticking within me finally exploded. My body shook in anger, despair, and sheer pain until my exhausted eyes finally shut when the sun barely kissed the horizon before it was hidden behind dark clouds.

Kind of like what happened to me.

Two weeks.

I have officially been out of Edward's life for two weeks.

When I finally woke up after I got home the night I left his house, I had three text messages from Edward. I'll never forget what those text messages said. I had to erase them, just in case Phil ever took my phone, but I made sure to memorize them before they were gone forever.

Bella, I'm so sorry. Please don't be mad at me, even though you have every right to be. I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. I was completely out of line and I should not have invaded your space like that. Sent 6:20 AM.

I understand if you feel violated, so can we just go back to being normal friends? I hate the thought of losing you completely. Sent 8:42 AM.

I'm sorry for being such a bother. If you don't want to talk to me, I understand and I'll leave you be. You can text or call me whenever you'd like. I'll be here. Sent 10:03 AM.

I never answered his texts, and he didn't contact me again for a week. It hurt more than anything that Phil could ever do to me. The only thing that hurt worse than this was losing my Mom. Losing someone you care so much about and who lightens your life is the worst pain I could ever think of. I seriously can't imagine anything else hurting as badly. And I had to go through it twice.

One week into my declaration of defriending Edward, he came up to me at the end of history class one day. The look on his beautiful face broke my heart. There were bags under his eyes, indicating that he hasn't been sleeping much. His eyes screamed agony, and his lips stayed put into a frown of despair. I wanted him to smile. I wanted his eyes to twinkle.

"Bella," he breathed upon approaching me. I was shocked that he was speaking to me, but I reminded myself to stick to the plan. I would just act coldly to him, so he would get the point and leave me alone. I couldn't get caught up in him again. I would only hurt him.

I stayed silent, so he continued. "Can we talk real quick?"

I shook my head and walked out of the room, only to have him stride right along-side of me to the parking lot.

I found my voice. "Edward, you have to leave me alone. Please."

"Why?" He demanded. "Look, I know I was out of line for invading your space like that. I shouldn't have kissed you. But why does that mean we can't even fucking talk to each other? Can't we still be friends?"

I huffed and walked faster, wishing teleportation was a thing, so I could just snap my fingers and be in my room, away from the possibility of falling deeper into him.

"We can't, I'm sorry."

"How the hell is that fair? You can't even give me an explanation! This is ridiculous," he threw his hands in the air in exasperation and then pinched his nose as we approached my truck.

"It just wouldn't be smart, Edward," was all I could mutter, my heart breaking in my chest.

"That's not an explanation either, Bella. How isn't it smart?"

I needed him to stop. I needed him to understand. So, I turned on bitch-mode. "I don't need to explain everything. I'm not good for you. We're from too different worlds and it would be explosive if they clashed. Just drop it at that."

"'Just drop it at that'?" He repeated sourly. "That's all bullshit. I want to be here for you… why can't you just accept that?"

"I don't need you to be here for me, why can't you just accept that? I don't need you, Edward. So stop." I hopped into my truck and drove away before he had the chance to respond, leaving him standing in the parking lot with anger and sadness written all over his face. I cried the whole way home.

It took all my will power to stop myself from talking to him in lunch or history. He looked so unbelievably sad and it broke my heart. I stole glances every chance I got for the past two weeks, and each time I looked, he seemed just as miserable as the last. Was it because of me? I'm not sure.

I missed him like all hell, though. I missed his intoxicating smell, and his dazzling crooked smile, and his bright green eyes, and his velvety voice, and his disheveled hair, and his toned arms around me, and his musical laugh, and his desire to understand me, and his hospitality, and his protectiveness, and his humor, and his compliments, and his fucking lips. Jesus Christ.

I know he affected me irrevocably, though. I felt completely empty after erasing him from my life. Edward was literally the only thing that brought me happiness ever since my Mom died. Sometimes it even hurt to fucking breathe. There was a hole in my chest that I knew would never be filled if I couldn't talk to him again. I hated that it was impossible for me to care about someone with the life I live. I barely slept at night, and sometimes the thought of food made me sick to my stomach. Losing Edward affected me much, much more than I had anticipated.

Phil was completely pissed at me for being in my moods. The abuse has been much more often, almost every single day. He thinks I'm showing him disrespect by moping around the house, even though "I shouldn't be miserable when I have so much shit handed to me," as Phil had said. I almost spit in his fucking face when he said that.

The bruises on my body hurt, but the bruises on my heart hurt so much worse. I would endure years and years of constant torture from Phil if it meant that my heart wasn't broken the way it was now.

"Bella, get your fucking ass up and make me breakfast!" Phil's angry voice brought me back to reality. I grumbled to myself and got out of bed, shuffling my feet into a pair of ratty slippers that were almost as old as me.

It was Sunday morning. Phil always liked a giant breakfast on Sundays. I made sure to prepare him a meal of eggs, toast, waffles and bacon, not wanting to make him angry.

After breakfast, he informed me that he was going to his friend's for the day and would not be home until late tonight.

It was chilly today, but I didn't mind. I put on the warmest clothes I found in my tiny closet and headed into the tree line behind my house. Mom and I always played in the forest. I thought I would write to her from there today.

I grabbed my journal and pen and all but ran outside, eager to feel a sense of freedom. I walked for about five minutes until I found a comfy looking tree to sit against.

I told my Mom everything. I told her about Edward and how happy he made me, and how my only choice was to stay away from him. I told her about my feelings for him, how he was the only boy I'd ever felt that way about. I told her about the way his emerald eyes sparkled when he was happy. I told her about his teasing crooked grin that could easily light up my dark world. I told her about his strong arms and how safe and warm I felt when lying in them. I told her about the electric current that seemed to bring my body to life when he was in my presence. I told her about the connection we had and how nearly impossible it was to walk away from it.

I didn't realize how long I was out there until a few stray raindrops broke me out of my writing daze. I flipped through the pages and saw that today's entry was six pages long. That was the longest one I'd ever had. Just goes to show how much I had to say about Edward.

I quickly made my way back home and showered before doing some homework. I couldn't help but realize that this was the only way I could be with Edward: through memories.

My mind was swimming in a deep pool of fear as I sat down at lunch the next day.

This morning, my truck wouldn't start, so I had to walk to school. It was about a 3 mile walk, but I made it in time for third period. I was debating on saying "fuck it" and not showing up at all, but the principal's office had this stupid automated machine that sent a call to every parent at the end of the day who's child had an unexcused absence. No way in hell I was dealing with that.

I was terrified because Phil never reacts well when my truck breaks down. The fucking thing is older than he is, but he assumes that it's always my fault when it stops working. The truck has done this to me about three other times, and I have three scars to represent each time.

I wish I was smart enough to know about cars, then I could possibly just fix it on my own and not have to deal with Phil. However, I barely know how to pop the hood, so 'Bella the Mechanic' is not an option.

I almost slapped myself in the face as I began twirling my apple in front of me, watching the stem begin to lose its connection to the rest of the piece of fruit. Rosalie and Emmett know everything about cars. I bet I could just have them take a look at it.

Was this smart, though? This kind of gives Edward a reason to talk to me. I don't want to go down that road again. However, the last thing I want is for Phil to find out about the truck. It's scarier telling him when the truck breaks down than it was to tell him I was going to Edward's because the truck issue usually ends up with him spending money.

I blew out a puff of air in sheer frustration and decided I'll deal with that shit later. I was not up for it right now.

Once the last bell of the day rang out throughout the tiny building, indicating freedom was finally here, I all but ran to my locker and packed all my necessities into my backpack. I was in a rush to get home. It was only drizzling now, but it was going to pour soon. I was definitely trying to make it home before all hell broke loose in the sky above my fucking head.

I began walking down the slippery roads of Forks, listening to my rain boots squeak against the pavement. I watched the streams of rain trickle down the street, creating a bunch of tiny rivers, as I realized that this would be a good amount of my life. The rain. I will be stuck in Forks for God knows how long. Until then, I will never experience something truly sunny and warm, where wearing shorts and a tank top all day is perfect. Man, I would fucking kill for that.

I heard an engine purr behind me, creeping up closer and closer. I grew fearful and kept my head down, shoving my hands into my pockets nervously. The car drove up right next to me as I heard the velvety voice that I tried so hard to forget, but would always remember.

"Bella? What are you doing?" He asked, his voice laced with concern.

I gulped. "Walking."

"Get in the car, it's raining," he pleaded. I forced myself to keep walking, to pretend he wasn't there. But the longing in his voice pulled me in like a damn magnet. I couldn't stop myself from looking into his gorgeous green eyes. He looked so… sad. It made my heart sink low into my stomach, making me feel sick.

I shook my head and forced my legs to move quicker, away from him.

"Bella, come on, I'll take you wherever you need to be. You're gonna get sick."

"Edward, leave me alone, please," I urged, my voice shaking. I didn't want to have to do this.

"Why? What did I do to you?" He sounded like he was in pain. Confusion was written all over his features, plain as day. A line made of worry etched into the marble skin on his forehead that I often longed to run my lips across. I swallowed the urge to smooth it away with my thumb in an effort to make his worry disappear. Someone so beautiful should never be troubled.

But I had to be strong.

"You just don't understand," I hissed as I stopped walking and faced his car, hands on my hips.

He glared at me. "You don't tell me anything at all – ever – of course I'm not going to understand."

I huffed and rolled my eyes as I continued to stomp away.

"Bella, please, just get in the car."

I looked up into his eyes again, but failed to resist this time. I felt my feet parading their way to his car before I even realized where I was going.

I grumbled to myself as I got in the front seat.

"Now was that so hard?" His voice was half annoyed, half teasing.

I stayed silent, tilting my head away from him to look out the window.

"Where should I take you?" He asked.

"My house," I whispered, knowing already that he knew where it was. Every teenager in this town knew where the chief lived. They made sure of it so they knew where it wasn't smart to do anything illegal. That's how it was in a town this small.

"Where's Alice?" I asked, hoping to fill the 5 minute ride with small talk, so Edward wouldn't have the chance to ask me questions.

"She rode home with Rosalie and Jasper. She's going to their house. Why were you walking? Where's your truck?"

"It broke down."

"What's wrong with it?"

"I don't know," I grumbled.

"Why don't you have Emmett or Rosalie look at it?" He offered, turning the heat up a little bit when he noticed I was shivering.

"I was thinking about it."

"Ah, but you thought against it, because you're afraid they would ask you why you've disappeared from our lives, I'm guessing." Of course he knew what my intentions were. Edward was not stupid.

I didn't say anything. Instead, I watched a shadow of sadness cast across his face.

"Bella, I'm sorry about everything. I-"

"Edward, I don't want to get into this right now," I interrupted quietly, fiddling with my thumbs in my lap, feeling my heart pound in my chest like a sporadic drum.

He huffed, clearly frustrated. "I understand if you regret everything, but can you at least tell me if I did anything wrong? I need to know."

I shook my head at the lack of truth in his first statement. I would never regret our kiss. My first kiss. "I promise that you didn't do anything wrong. Can we just leave it at that?"

He sighed, but didn't press the subject any further, which I was grateful for. I had not intended to speak to Edward at all. I had no idea what to say to him. I just knew what I couldn't say.

We pulled up to my house a few moments later. Before I exited the car, he grabbed my hand softly, initiating a spark to flow through my entire existence. I almost shuttered at the strength and intensity of it.

"Wait," he pleaded, staring into my eyes longingly. I swallowed thickly.

"Are we going to keep doing this, Bella? Are we going to keep pretending that we didn't have a great time together all those days?"

The agony in his voice almost crumbled me into pieces. I wanted to scream at myself for doing this to him. To myself. I had no idea he felt so strongly about our friendship, or whatever the hell it was. But he did, and I tore it away from him. I caused him pain, something I was trying to keep him from since the beginning.

Being away from him caused us both pain. Spending time together made us both happy, but could very easily cause us both even more pain in the future if Phil found out. This was something that I could not just decide right away.

But I knew for sure that I could feel myself slipping away to him. I could feel pieces of myself attach to him with every second that passed by. All it took was one five minute car ride, and I was hooked again. Like he was my own personal brand of heroin.

"Just let me figure this all out, please," I begged.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What exactly is there to figure out?"

"I can't get into it right now. I'll text you tonight, okay?"

He smiled my favorite crooked grin, his green eyes glowing with contentment. I felt my girly bits tingling from his effect.

I smiled timidly in return and reached for his door handle when he grabbed my arm again.

"Wait, how are you going to get to school in the morning? I'll give you a ride, if you'd like. I'll ask Emmett to look at your truck after school."

I nodded, my heart fluttering a little at the thought of Edward being the first face I saw in the morning. Tomorrow was definitely going to be a great day.

A/N: you guys knew I couldn't keep them apart ;) next chapter is going to be HUGE! I can't wait for you guys to read! I promise to update very soon:) review and let me know what you think!


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: im baaaccckkk... again! Haha because you guys are great, and because of a request by alwaysromantic4eva, I decided to give you guys 2 chaps in one day :) the least I could do for abandoning the story for a good year and a half! Haha thank you all so much for the reviews and love for Edward and Bella! This story has been such a blast to write! Enjoy... this will be a chapter to remember :)

disclaimer: I do not own twilight!

EPOV:

Embarrassment flowed through my body as I parked in my driveway after dropping Bella off at her house as I realized that I was smiling like an idiot the whole way home.

Two weeks without Bella was absolute torture. I had no desire to do anything. It felt like my life lost meaning altogether. I had no idea how dependent I was on her presence. I thought about her constantly, and how natural being around her was for me. I couldn't get her out of my head. I lay wide awake late into the night, wondering if she was looking at the moon, thinking of me, too. I fought the urge to show up at her doorstep each and every second of each and every day.

I thought that maybe separation was a good thing. I was becoming too attached to her and I really was not trying to go down that road again. I tried coming to terms with the fact that Bella walked out of my life. A relationship was the last thing I needed anyway. I had school to focus on. Another heartbreak just couldn't be added to the list.

But the feeling that envelopes me when I'm with Bella is more than enough to forget about all of that. She's simply intoxicating. Was I in too deep? Probably. Was I being dangerous? Probably. I should keep a stronger wall around my heart. But Bella seemed to have every fucking weapon possible to completely tear the wall down.

But did she feel the same way? She had exited my life right after I kissed her, after all. That has to mean she's not interested, and the painful sensation that tore at my heart while realizing this was impossible to ignore. She didn't want me the way I wanted her. I couldn't live without her, though. So, I'll be in her life as whatever she wants me to be. A friend, a protector, and, hopefully, a lover… one day.

I whipped out my cell phone to call Emmett.

"What's up?" He asked after a few rings.

"Hey, man, you up to do me a favor?"

He groaned jokingly. "What's that?"

"Well, it's more of a favor for Bella. Her truck broke down, so could you look at it after school tomorrow?"

"Yeah, no problem," he chuckled. "Any idea what's wrong with it?"

"She didn't say."

"Alright, I'll bring my tools to school and keep them in my trunk. Hopefully it's something I can fix."

"I have faith in you, man," I teased.

"You better! Your Volvo would surely be in a much different condition right now if it wasn't for me," he scoffed.

I laughed, remembering all those times I brought my beloved Volvo to Emmett and Rosalie each and every time I sensed something wrong with it at all.

"Yeah, yeah, don't get too cocky now. I'll see you tomorrow."

I joined my family for dinner that night, something that was rare in the last two weeks. Mom seemed overjoyed about it, which made me happy. I hated hurting her.

"Edward, how was your day today?" Dad asked, recognizing my mood.

"Good," I grinned and plopped at my seat, loading my plate with heaps of food.

Alice threw me a knowing glace and rolled her eyes teasingly. Of course she fucking knew.

After dinner, I trotted up to my room, eager to see if Bella had sent me a text yet like she had promised. I smiled, instantly sent to cloud nine when I saw her name on my phone, the letters that spelled her name seeming to belong on the screen.

Hey, thanks for the ride.

No problem. I called Emmett, he's going to take a look at your truck tomorrow.

As I was waiting for her reply, I heard a knock on my bedroom door.

"Come in," I bellowed throughout the room.

Alice danced her way into the room, throwing herself onto the foot of my bed with a giant smile on her face, her blue eyes dancing wildly in excitement.

"What?" I raised my eyebrows.

"You seem happier than usual today," she mused.

I raked my fingers through my uneasy hair, a nervous habit I somehow, stupidly picked up. "What's your point?"

"I think I know why."

"Oh, do you?" I scoffed. I don't know who I was kidding, though, Alice could read me better than anyone else. Twin telepathy again.

"I think you talked to Bella again," my sister poked her little head into my business.

"What makes you say that?"

This time, it was Alice who scoffed. I watched her tiny frame shake with laughter.

"Oh, please, Edward. You're acting the way you used to when she would come around: all smiles and bright eyes. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Actually, I think it's great, especially after Jane-"

"Okay, I get it, Alice," I interrupted forcefully, feeling a hint of anger course through my veins. I ignored it, though.

"I'm just saying that I'm happy for you. And I think Bella's great. I have no clue what's going on between the two of you, but I see the way you look at her. And I see the way she looks at you. It didn't take long for me to put the pieces together. Just, be careful, Edward. I don't know her, or her past, but I sense that something isn't right. She seems fragile."

I nodded, completely allowing Alice to tear my walls down, just like I seem to keep allowing Bella to do. But it was different with Alice. I never doubted my trust in her. She could never break my heart. "I know, Alice. I'm trying, I really am. But she keeps distancing herself and she's not really telling me why. I don't know what to do anymore," I looked down at my hands in my lap, wishing they were touching the porcelain skin of a certain brown-eyed girl.

"Just give her time, Ed. If she cares about you enough, she'll come around. If she doesn't, then you'll know it's not meant to be, and you move on. But don't give up on her just yet, I have a great feeling about her," she was smiling towards the end of her statement. I smiled warmly in return.

Alice and I spent the remainder of the night doing homework and watching television in my bedroom. I sent Bella text messages throughout the night, relishing in the small talk, besides the times when I would have to hide my phone from Alice's view when I caught her trying to read over my shoulder. But it always felt great to have my crazy, annoying sister by my side. She seemed to be the one person who could keep me afloat when I felt like sinking.

I awoke easily the next morning, happy because I had planned with Bella to give her a ride to school today.

After annoying the crap out of Alice because I wanted her to hurry the hell up, we were finally en route to Bella's house. The butterflies wreaking havoc in my stomach made me feel like a fucking girl. I wanted to smack myself.

I pulled into her driveway with ease, stepping out of the car and heading to the front door while Alice got out of the front seat and climbed into the back instead.

I raised my fist, ready to knock on the door, but it opened beforehand, revealing a happy, yet nervous looking Bella. She was wearing a pair of jeans that Alice had given her. They shaped the delicate curves of her legs perfectly. I gulped.

"Good morning," I offered her a smile.

"Good morning," she repeated in a small breath. Her body seemed to relax, her shoulders letting go of some tension as she inhaled through her tiny nose.

"Ready to go?"

She nodded and closed the door before heading to my car.

"Hey, Bella!" Alice greeted from the backseat as Bella got in.

"Hi, Alice."

"Oh my God! Are those my jeans?! Those look so cute on you," Alice gushed, her voice increasing by several octaves.

"Thanks, they fit great."

Alice spent the rest of the ride informing Bella all about the designer behind the jeans. I tuned her out, something I was forced to teach myself since the day she learned to talk at a rate of a million miles a minute.

We approached the school and climbed out of the Volvo, instantly met with curious eyes from every direction. People were already shocked when we had all started sitting with Bella at lunch. Now, we have their attention even more.

I felt her stiffen next to me, clearly uncomfortable.

"Just ignore it, Bella, who cares what they have to say?" I breathed in her ear, smelling her delicious scent. She nodded curtly in silent agreement.

I walked Bella to her locker and then to her class, not caring in the slightest if I was late. I missed her presence far too much.

"I'll see you at lunch, then?" I made sure to give her the option to say no.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

I grabbed her hand and kissed it, then waltzed away.

Lunch was good. I felt comfortable again, like I was meant to sit in the plastic chair next to Bella. The gang joined us, talking animatedly about completely random topics. Bella even joined in here and there, her small voice surprising everyone, but nobody was ever anything less than kind. I was extremely thankful for that.

"Alice, make sure Emmett is behind us. I don't want him getting lost." I called to Alice in the backseat of my Volvo. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper were following us to Bella's after school in order to fix her truck.

"Everyone knows where she lives, don't worry."

"Yeah, but its Emmett," I reminded her, earning a tiny giggle from Bella, who sat huddled in the passenger seat, gazing out the window at the foggy mist.

We pulled up to Bella's in record time, Emmett approaching in his giant vehicle a few moments after.

"Do you guys want anything to drink while you work on the truck?" Bella offered politely.

"A glass of water would actually be great," Emmett smiled.

The girls stayed inside while Jasper, Emmett and I worked on the truck. I have no idea why Rosalie didn't help, since she loves everything about cars, but Alice basically pulled Rosalie and Bella inside, saying that girl time was "necessary." Of course I was not permitted to join.

"Okay, Ed, I'm gonna need that wrench by your feet," Emmett called, his head hunched into the hood of the rusty beast.

"Can you tell what's wrong with it?" I asked as I handed him the tool.

"Yeah. I'm not gonna waste my breath explaining it to you, though. It'll only take me about an hour or so," he teased.

"So, when are you going to ask Bella on an official date?" Jasper quirked his all-knowing eyebrows.

"What makes you think I'm gonna do that?"

"Oh, please! That's like asking if two plus two equals four."

I shook my head, laughing quietly. "I'm not sure how it's going to work with her."

"What do you mean?" Emmett inquired.

I sighed, feeling my shoulders slump in sheer sadness. "She's difficult, dude. She has a wall up and it's fucking hard to get past it. She told me her Dad is insanely strict and does not even let her leave the house, let alone have a boyfriend. I have no clue how it could happen."

"Well, you have to try. I mean, she's eighteen, how can her Dad continue to tell her what to do?" Jasper wondered aloud.

I ran my fingers through my hair, silently reminding myself to get a trim soon. "There's a lot to it that I don't know. I do know, though, that I have to really figure something out."

I stole a glance towards the house, wondering what I would have to do to win Bella over.

"Why don't you just try being brutally honest with her? Just tell her that you have feelings for her and you want to make it work but you have no idea what her intentions are." Jasper advised.

"Every time I try to talk about anything that has to do with being more than friends, she tells me she can't talk about it. I have no idea what she wants."

"Well I know that she wants you, that's obvious," Emmett snorted loudly. My heart leapt at his words, hope growing inside me. I wanted nothing more than Emmett to be correct on this one.

"Dude, you just have to be patient. She'll come around," Jasper assured with a gentle smile on his face.

I could only hope he was right.

I floored my car out of the garage and sped down the windy driveway, watching the autumn trees blur by in one warm-toned vision. I was feeling anxious after my talk with Emmett and Jasper today and I was craving a blunt to calm down my racing mind.

I knew they were right. I needed to figure something out if I really wanted to be with Bella. It would take time, but I had to start somewhere. I just fucking hated spending so much time wondering what it would be like to kiss her or hold her in my arms rather than actually doing those things.

I turned onto the backroad and pulled out the blunt, sparking it and inhaling it almost hungrily. I smoked as if I was a ravenous vampire, and the blunt was a human filled with delicious blood. After a few puffs, I could already feel my eyelids grow heavy. I stared blankly out the windshield, not really looking at anything.

After finishing the blunt, and feeling insanely high, I peeled off the road and headed back towards town, driving aimlessly.

Of course I subconsciously drove towards Bella's house.

I pulled up to her road and sat outside her home, debating on knocking on the door and seeing how she was doing. Phil's police cruiser was absent from the scene. I knew Bella was in there alone.

Without realizing what I was doing, almost on impulse, I exited the car and trotted up the lawn to her front door. I took a deep breath before I knocked softly.

After a few, agonizingly long moments, I heard Bella fumbling with the locks before she threw it open. Her doe-like eyes were wide, her expression beginning in shock but ending in happiness.

"Edward," she breathed, "what are you doing here?"

"I was just driving around and I wanted to see you."

"Are you high?

I felt my heart begin to pound, I did nothing to hide the fact that I was stoned. She's the fucking police chief's daughter. Of course she was probably not okay with weed.

But I wasn't going to lie to her. Ever. "How did you know?"

"I can smell it on you. I would invite you in, but if my Dad smells that in the house at all, it's over for me." I didn't miss the seriousness behind her warning.

"That's okay, do you want to hang out in the backyard then for a little? Are you mad that I'm high? I'm sorry, I just ended up here with no intentions of coming to be honest."

She giggled softly. "No, I don't mind. Come on, let's go in the backyard."

We shuffled side-by-side in the quiet night, the sun almost below the horizon.

"Twilight," she murmured. "Such a beautiful time of day."

"I agree."

We plopped on some lawn furniture in the backyard. The air was chilly, but we both wore enough layers to make it work.

"When is your Dad coming home?"

"He went to the bar about a half hour ago. He usually gets home pretty late."

I lowered my brows, confused. "He drives drunk? As the chief?"

She used air quotes in her explanation. "He doesn't get drunk enough to need a ride."

I dropped the subject. I wasn't here to talk about her father.

"Bella, I'm not sure why I came here, but I think it was because I really need to talk to you."

"Edward-"

"Please," I begged, "let me finish."

She nodded, pursing her pouty lips. I wanted to grab them with my teeth.

"I know everything between us has been confusing lately, but I think it's because we have not really sat down and put our thoughts on the table. So, here I go. I have feelings for you, Bella. And I can sense that it scares you. But I need you to know that I will not push you to do anything and I will stay patient until you're ready. I'm not going to give up."

She shivered, and I doubted the weather had anything to do with it.

"This is just so different to me, Edward. All of it. Friends, boys…"

"So does that mean you're not interested?"

She bit her lip and cast her eyes downward, hiding from me. I hooked my finger under her chin and gently lifted it up, revealing her watery eyes.

"Talk to me," I pleaded in a whisper.

"I have feelings for you, too, of course. I just don't see how we could ever make it work."

I felt a pain that cut me like a fucking knife. Her words were killing me. I'm not sure if I could handle rejection from her.

"Why not?"

"My Dad. I am stuck here. There's nothing I can do."

I grabbed her hands, the warmth and silkiness allowing me to relax.

"You can do whatever you want, Bella. You're 18, there's a whole world out there that you haven't seen. I want to show it all to you."

She smiled sadly and patted my hand.

"Can I tell you a story?" I asked.

She nodded, so I continued. "I've only ever had one serious girlfriend. This girl named Jane. I met her through Alice, she was in her dance classes growing up. We dated for a little over a year, from when I was fifteen until sixteen. She was great- nice, smart, funny, pretty. I thought I was in love with her. I found out she had cheated on me three separate times with three different guys, two of the times she was drunk at a trashy party. It hurt so fucking bad – being betrayed by the one you thought would never do that to you. But, that's not the point. The point is that my feelings for you are so much stronger than the ones I had for her. If she hurt me that bad, I'd have it way worse if you hurt me, too. I don't want you or me to feel that pain, especially if we don't even give it a shot and call it quits now. I know we would feel that pain if we weren't together."

My confession forced tears to swim around in Bella's shiny, perfect eyes. My heart pounded at the intensity of the moment.

"That's what I never wanted. This whole time..." she struggled with her words. "That's why I tried distancing myself. I never wanted to cause you pain. But now I am… whether I'm with you or not."

"How?"

She cried softly, wiping her cheeks of salty tears before choking out her answer. "I can't be with you while I live in this house." She laughed without humor.

"Then I'll be patient, I'll see you when I can and when the time comes, I'll get you out of here. Anywhere you want to go."

"This is just going to be confusing and hard," she sighed.

I kissed her hand. "We will take it slow, get to know each other first and let the chips fall where they may. How does that sound?"

She grinned and nodded, patting away at the last of her tears.

"No more crying, Bella, not when I'm around."

She sighed and forced a smile, squeezing my hand.

"I bet my clothes are aired out by now, do you mind if I use your bathroom?" I asked

"Sure, I'll show you where it is."

We headed inside where I was unsurprised by the home. It lacked…everything. No pictures of Bella as she grew up, no decorations or portraits. No love.

Bella lead me into the tiny bathroom at the top of the stairs.

"I'll be in my room across the hall."

I smiled and shut the door, sitting on the toilet and throwing my head into my hands, begging my racing heart to calm itself. I was a nervous wreck. My intentions were never to barge my way onto her property and declare my intense feelings towards her. But of course I fucking did anyway.

I was just about done taking a leak when I heard the front door slam with an aggressive close and a hoarse, slurred voice scream "Isabella!"

Suddenly, quiet, yet terrified footsteps were outside the door before I heard Bella's frantic voice whisper "Edward, go in my room and climb down the tree by the window and get out of here!" Before she headed downstairs.

I threw the door open, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, but she was already downstairs and out of my sight.

I did my best to move as fast as I could, despite my high state of mind. I just knew I had to leave if I didn't want to make Bella's Dad angry. I was halfway onto the tree when I heard a booming crash and him yelling "you fucking slut! What the fuck is wrong in your retarded brain? Fuck you, dumb bitch! Fuck you!"

My world seemed to be shutting down around me as I came to the disgusting, fucked up, heart-wrenching realization that Bella's Dad is much, much more than strict.

After landing in the backyard and seeing him get back into his cruiser and drive down the alley from behind my hiding spot in a bush, I ran as fast as I could inside.

The sight in front of me caused my hands to ball into tormented fists, my heart to ache so bad I could feel it shattering. I have never experienced a rage so raw, so terrifying, that I saw red… I have never felt the need to kill anyone until that very moment.

A/N: ohhhhhh shit! Lol hope you guys like it! Review pls!


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: I couldn't keep you guys waiting for too long! I just know you're dying to see what happens :) I want to give a special thanks to Cindylee99 and Coffeefilterart for constantly showing me so much love in my reviews and for keeping me motivated to keep writing! You guys seriously are the best and I love your enthusiasm towards the story :) okay, I'll stop ranting now! This chapter is in Edwards point of view again!

Also, CindyLee99, you mentioned in your last review how this wasn't how you expected Edward to find out. I would love to know what you thought was gonna happen!

Disclaimer: I Do not own twilight!

EPOV:

A surge of power pushed me towards her, though I couldn't even control it. My instincts did the work that needed to be done as my mind caved in on itself, unable to bear the pain that came along with the realization of Bella's troubles. I couldn't believe the force of pure agony that dwelled inside me as I pulled her weak, fragile body gingerly into my arms, my eyes running all over her face in panic.

"Bella?" I called hoarsely, the sound of my own cries smacking me in the fucking face.

She remained still and motionless in my arms as I cradled her to me in one arm, using my other to pull my phone out of my pocket and call Dad.

The 5 seconds of the phone ringing felt like a fucking eternity. My palms were growing so sweaty that keeping the phone clamped in my grasp was becoming difficult.

"This is Shirley, how may I help you?" The secretary at the hospital offered in a bored tone.

"H-hi," I stammered weakly. "I need to speak with Carlisle Cullen. I'm his son, Edward." I rushed, never keeping my eyes from Bella's face. Blood from the back of her head oozed into my hand, a small puddle forming in my palm.

"One second," there was shuffling as the phone was being handed around before I heard Dad's curious voice. "Edward, what can I do for you?"

"Dad, I'm on my way over. It's Bella… I found her at her house beaten and unconscious. Please, you have to help her, please…" I trailed off, my voice suddenly catching in my throat as my words became entangled with a dangerous sob.

"Relax, son. Take a deep breath! Place her in the back of your car and get here as quick as you can. Be careful driving, alright? I'll be prepped and ready upon your arrival."

"Thanks," I whispered before hanging up and shoving my phone back into my pocket. I picked Bella up bridal style and ran outside, lying her across the backseat of the Volvo. I took a spare sweatshirt from the backseat and placed it under her head snuggly, wrapping the sleeves around it and tying a knot on her forehead in an attempt to put pressure on the wound. I raced into the driver's seat and kicked the car into action.

I did my best to go quickly as well as drive tenderly as not to harm her fragile body. This was quite tough. Especially due to the fact that I couldn't stop my mind from racing, my vision from seeing red.

How the fuck could someone harm such an innocent girl? A quiet, defenseless, down-to-earth, perfect girl? I wanted him dead. I wanted to break each and every one of his fucking bones slowly before I killed him. I wanted to bring him pain that he never knew existed.

The thought of Bella dealing with this made me want to empty my stomach right into my fucking lap. I couldn't stop my body from shaking, but I did my best to drive safely, unwilling to risk hurting her any more.

I peeled into the hospital parking lot in record time, parking as closely as I possibly could towards the entrance. I gently pulled Bella into my arms and ran her inside, my eyes meeting her face once again. I felt her breathing, which relaxed me more than words could describe. That doesn't mean I still wasn't a fucking mess.

"Edward! This way." Dad called as I ran into the lobby, a gurney standing next to him. I placed Bella on the gurney and grabbed her hand as Dad quickly strapped her in.

He said his words swiftly. "Tell me everything you know before I take her back."

My heart pounded at the realization that I had to describe what I had just saw… and think about it in chronological order. "I went to her house to visit her. I was upstairs in the bathroom when her Dad came home, screaming at her. I snuck out a window in her room and climbed the tree down. He got in his car and drove off, so I ran back inside and found her like this. "

He nodded in understanding, however, his eyes held deep sadness.

"We'll take care of her. Why don't you wait here in the waiting room and alert the authorities while I bring her back?"

I shook my head, panic setting in my veins. "I don't want to leave her."

Dad smiled sadly and apologetically. "I'm sorry, but you have to. I can't bring you back there. You can always wait out here. I'll work as quickly as I can and then you may go see her."

I thought about getting on my hands and knees and begging even more, but realized that all my whining was adding to more time that Bella didn't get taken care of. I nodded in defeat and shuffled to one of the boring tan chairs in the waiting room, pulling my cell phone out of my pocket.

"911, What is your emergency?" A young male voice asked.

"I need to report an incident of domestic abuse."

"Go on," he urged.

"It's the Chief of Police of Forks, Mr. Dwyer. I went to his home to visit his daughter. I was upstairs in the bathroom and he came home, screaming at her. She didn't want him knowing I was there, so I snuck out her window and climbed down the tree. He left and drove off, so I ran back in and found her beaten and unconscious."

"Very well, I'm sending some officers to his house right away. Are you at the hospital with his daughter at the moment?"

"Yes."

"I will also send some officers there, who will ask you some questions. Can I have your name, son?"

"Edward Cullen," I muttered helplessly, my knee bouncing in agitation and my vision growing blurry from unshed tears.

"Thank you for the call. A couple of officers will be arriving at the hospital momentarily."

"Thanks."

I dreaded the end of that conversation, for I knew it was the only thing distracting me from my violent thoughts. But now…. Now I would be alone with them until the cops arrived.

I threw my head into my hands and welcomed the tears as I let it all sink in. My poor Bella… who knew how long she was dealing with this? Was this an everyday occurrence? God I fucking hoped not.

I hated myself. How could I not have done anything about this sooner? I walked around school like a hot shot and thought of nothing but getting drunk and fucking Tanya while Bella was being beaten by the only person in her life. She deserved nothing close to the shit he put her through.

But he would never, ever harm her again. He wouldn't get within a hundred yards of her if I was still alive. I would protect Bella every second of everyday for the rest of my life, no questions asked. I would never allow her to feel any type of pain again.

It only took about ten minutes before two middle-aged officers entered the building and went straight for the reception desk, asking for an Edward Cullen. When the secretary pointed at me, I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes before they made their way towards me.

"Edward Cullen, Dr. Cullen's son?" One of the men asked, his nametag reading "Williams." He was tall and dark-haired with a deep voice. His partner stood a few inches shorter than him, with a bald head and a nametag that read "Carson."

"Yes," I answered weakly, my head beginning to pound.

"I'm officer Williams, you can call me Caius. This is my partner, Alec.

I nodded meekly in response.

"We want to ask some questions regarding the phone call you made to the office earlier."

"Okay."

They sat down on either side of me and whipped out identical notepads and black pens.

"Can you describe the situation in detail? This is a very important deal, having our own member of the force being the suspect."

For the next twenty minutes, the officers hounded me for answers while I did my absolute best to provide the best responses that I could. I tried to remember what he was wearing. What direction he drove off in. The exact time he fled the house. The problem was that I barely remember anything from that situation besides Bella's body on the floor…

I told the officers that Bella would be staying with me with zero hesitation. I knew that she had nowhere else to go – frankly, if she did, I would still beg her to stay with me because I was definitely not willing to let her out of my sight for a long while. I knew Mom and Dad would allow it given the circumstances.

They gave me their cards and asked me to call them as soon as Bella was able to talk, needing information from her as well. I agreed and thanked them for their service.

After they left, I figured I would call Mom and fill her in.

"Edward, where are you? It's getting late and you have school tomorrow."

"Mom, listen to me, I have something to tell you."

Her voice immediately held concern. "What is it, honey? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's about Bella."

"Bella?" Her voice rang in question.

I explained the situation once again – actually, growing tired of repeating the horrible evening – and grew upset when Mom began to cry. I felt my own heart break just at the sound of her distress. This situation was just too awful for any of us to bear.

"Oh, Edward… you did the right thing, dear. I'm so proud of you, and thankful that you were there. Is your father still with her?"

"Yeah, I think she's gonna be okay, but I can't let her go back to that house, Mom. She needs somewhere safe to go. Can she come stay with us?"

"Of course, I would never want her anywhere near him again. I'll start cleaning up around here and making the guest room a bit more welcoming. Unless you want me to head to the hospital?"

God, how I loved my fucking Mom. "No, it's alright. Thank you, Mom, for all of this. I knew you would be okay with her staying with us. I just know she has nobody else. You know her Mom passed, and her real Dad walked out before she was born."

She sighed sadly on the other end. "I know. Now, she has us. Try not to worry too much, okay?"

"Yeah."

"We'll talk about her stay more when you get home. When will that be, by the way?"

I rubbed my neck in stress. "I'm not sure. Whenever Bella is released."

"Edward, that will probably be tomorrow or the day after. Why don't you come home and get some rest?"

"No, I have to be here when she wakes up."

"Honey, I-"

"Mom," I interrupted. "I'll be okay."

There was a slight pause before she muttered dejectedly, "Alright. Call me in the morning. Are you going to school tomorrow? I won't force you to."

"I'll probably stay here."

"Okay. Try to get a good night's sleep. I love you."

"Love you, too."

I spent the next thirty minutes trying to think of anything besides hunting Phil Dwyer down. I wanted to keep my emotions under control before I saw Bella. I tried my best to pay attention to the nighttime news segment on the ancient television mounted on the boring, white walls, but I couldn't bring myself to care about the weather or the burglary that happened in a gas station the town over.

Now, sitting here with nothing but my raging thoughts, it suddenly all began to make sense. This is why Bella was so keen on pushing me out of her life. This was why she was always alone, always hiding behind her hair. This was the mystery that I was just dying to solve.

Finally, Dad burst through the door with a smile painted with relief on his face. "She's going to be okay. She's got a terrible concussion and a badly bruised eye, a broken nose and a swollen lip. Also, a few of her ribs are cracked. We also detected some past injuries on various parts of the body. She's expected to recover smoothly and quickly, though. She's on a pretty strong painkiller at the moment, so she's knocked out. You may go sit with her, but she most likely will be sleeping until tomorrow."

"I want to go see her," I responded without hesitation, because I knew that I had to see her, or else I would flip the fuck out.

He nodded in understanding and led me through the hallway, shuffling between doctors and nurses with clipboards and equipment in their gloved hands. I was lead into Bella's room and gasped at the sight in front of me.

Dad told me the outcome of the beating, but I couldn't bring myself to imagine all the terrible things to look like on her face. Seeing it was like a punch in the stomach. Her eye was bruised and giant – so large that she would not be able to open it if she tried. Her nose was covered in a think bandage and her usually soft, perfect lips were puffy and cut up. I rushed to her side and examined her features before cursing under my breath and plopping heavily into the plastic chair beside her bed.

"I'm sorry, son. I know this must be tough for you."

"Dad… you said there were past injuries," I muttered while pinching the bridge of my nose.

He sighed. "Yes, bruises on her arms, legs, back... they were faint and almost healed, but they were there."

"So, this shit happens to her often, I suppose?" I spat angrily, crossing my arms over my chest and gazing out the window.

"We must not dwell on the past, Edward. It does no good. We are going to focus on her future now and help her." Dad insisted as he filled out some of Bella's paperwork beside me.

"About that…" I trailed off. "I called the cops in the waiting room and told them everything. Two of them came and I gave a statement. I also told them that Bella would be staying with us from now on. I already called Mom and she agreed. I know this is sudden, but she has nobody else. I need to make sure she is safe."

Dad smiled, clearly proud. "I'm on board with that, son. I'm proud of the man you're becoming."

I smiled and nodded, basking in my father's praise. It felt appropriate to enjoy his positive qualities since I am now realizing how lucky I am to have him.

Dad left the room a few minutes later to check on another patient, so I was left alone with Bella. I leaned forward and kissed her forehead tenderly, grasping her tiny hand into my much-larger one. "I'm so sorry, Bella," I whispered into her ear, her strawberry scent still hitting me like a ton of bricks. "I will never let anything like this happen to you again. You're safe with me." I rested my forehead against hers and breathed deeply, hoping she was awake to feel how amazing this tiny moment was.

I wanted to get closer to her, and the bed was huge. I snuck around some of the wires attached to her and snuggled beside her, suddenly feeling drained. I wrapped an arm gently around her waist and kissed the side of her head before shutting my eyes and falling into a deep sleep.

I woke up a couple times in the middle of the night because of the nurse. She came in about three times to check on Bella, and I was surprised that she never berated me for lying with her. I made a mental note to thank her in the morning.

I woke up for the day around 8:00 AM, surprisingly feeling well-rested. Probably something to do with sleeping next to Bella all night.

I went downstairs and bought myself some food before she woke up. I ordered a bagel and ate it in all but 3 minutes, not willing to let Bella wake up alone.

I trudged back upstairs, taking a seat next to her and rubbing her arm. "It's okay, beautiful, you can wake up. You're safe now," I murmured, glancing at her sleeping form.

Now, there was nothing left to do but wait.

A/N: yay! So we got a lot going on now. Phil is MIA, and Bella has somewhere safe to live! I can't wait for you guys to see how all of this unfolds :) review pls! Let me know what you think!


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: hey guys! I want to, again - as always - thank you all for your reviews! I am more than happy that so many of you enjoy the story. I have had a anonymous reviewer wondering why Phil treats Bella the way he does… I promise it will be cleared up later in the story! Thank you for your criticism, i truly love hearing what you guys have to say :) as always, enjoy and review!

ALSO - I just wanted to warn you guys that the next few chapters will be pretty long and especially M rated! You'll see why :)

Disclaimer: I do NOT own twilight!

BPOV:

"Are you sure she's going to wake up soon, Dad? It's been longer than you predicted," a concerned, velvety voice swirled around in the depths of my mind. I couldn't help but feel peace at the sound of it. It was warm, welcoming.

"Do you hear that? Her heart rate is quickening. That means she is waking up," another deep voice added. It was then that I heard the sounds of a monitor growing faster in pace. I became aware of the sterile scent of cleaning supplies, the smell so intense that it was almost too clean.

I slowly lifted my eyelids to the best of my ability, mentally cursing myself when the lights shot blinding daggers into my eyes. I quickly shut them, wishing to crawl back into the hole of darkness that I was just in.

"Bella?" The smooth voice called, and I knew by the increased speed of the heart monitor that it was Edward. No other voice would get that reaction out of me.

I opened my eyes again, thankful that I was mentally prepared for the stupid fucking lights.

Edward was standing above my body, looking down at me with relief, happiness and warmth in his eyes. I instantly smiled, the sight of him so beautiful and necessary.

"Edward," I breathed his name, gazing up at him through my lashes. He grinned my favorite crooked grin and grabbed my hand, kissing it tenderly while beaming into my eyes, a fire of passion burning in his. I hoped that mine reciprocated the same emotion.

"Bella," Dr. Cullen butt in, looking concerned, as well. But, he was smiling, nonetheless. "How do you feel?"

I didn't feel much, but I suddenly became aware of the fact that my left eye was almost closed shut with puffiness. I was so focused on Edward that I didn't even fucking notice. My obsession is becoming pathetic.

Everything started coming back to me, piece by agonizing piece. Edward came over out of no where and confessed his feelings to me, his eyes burning from the weed, but also burning with desire. I will never forget that moment, when my heart almost leapt out of my chest. The moment when I discovered that Edward fucking Cullen - the object of everyone's desire - is interested in ME. Poor, pathetic, beaten, fucked up Bella Swan. How could it even be true? There was a tiny, tiny part of me screaming at me. 'How the fuck could you believe this, Bella? Edward Cullen would never want you like this. It's a fucking joke, or a bet'.

However, on the contrary, there was no way he was faking that hypnotic look in his eyes when he declared his feelings for me, the nervous glint so anxious that it looked as though he would explode right there in Phil's outdated patio chair.

"Bella?" Dr. Cullen called again, interrupting my thoughts of one of the best days of my life.

"Um, I feel okay... numb, almost."

"Those are the painkillers. I've prescribed you enough of them for a few weeks, or until I notice that you don't need them anymore."

Suddenly, it all came crashing down. All I remember is yelling at Edward through the bathroom door to escape as quickly as he could the second I heard Phil's uneven footsteps parading through the house.

He came home because he forgot his wallet, and began beating me when he realized that there was laundry to be done and I wasn't doing it. I remember taking blow after blow to various aspects of my body, growing shocked when he actually put his hands on my face. I always thought he was smarter than that.

I don't remember anything after him hopping into his cruiser and driving away, leaving my mangled body on the floor. My breaths were coming in short pants as I closed my eyes and willed the pain to take me somewhere. Anywhere.

Now, waking up in the hospital, I realize that Edward must have come back inside and brought me here. Edward found me, beaten to a pulp on my own living room floor. I tried with every muscle in my body not to cry in front of him and his dad, but it was difficult. I was extremely embarrassed that Edward found me like that. I never wanted it to happen like this.

What about Phil?

Did he know I was in the hospital? How long have I been asleep? Did he know that our secret was out?

I was unsure of whether to laugh or cry. My emotions were all over the fucking map.

The betrayal heart monitor made it known that I was falling victim to a vicious panic attack. The beeping on the machine increased rapidly, as did my breath. Edward immediately placed his hand on my cheek and stroked it lovingly with his thumb in an effort to calm me down.

"Bella, it's okay, everything will be fine," he soothed gently, his musical voice helping me.

Dr. Cullen smiled grimly before standing next to Edward, looking down at me with a sad, yet warm expression on his face. I could see pity in his eyes, but I could see that he genuinely cared. A part of me wanted them to stop staring at me, to leave me alone and let me be. Another part was basking in the fact that it seemed as though people actually fucking cared about me.

"Bella," he pressed, rather urgently. "I know this is very overwhelming, but please do your best to take care of yourself. That means keeping calm and relaxed. I want you to heal as quickly as possible," he smiled kindly.

"Okay, Dr. Cullen, but I need answers first."

"Dad, could you give Bella and I a minute?" Edward interjected, his eyes never leaving me. I blushed and looked out the window at the rain as it shot out of the sky like cannons. So fast, so strong, but soothing. I think it was because it fit the mood.

"Yes, I'll be back soon. Press the red button on the wall if you need me."

Once we were alone, Edward sat at the edge of my bed, never letting go of my hand as if I was his lifeline. I wondered if he was aware of the fact that it was the other way around.

"Bella, I... I don't have words," he fumbled, his eyes holding anger. Was he ashamed of me? That I allowed such a monster to bestow such a great amount of pain in my life? He probably never wants to see me again. How could Edward not be disgusted with me? I could feel a hole slowly digging its way into my heart, a spot only he could fill.

"Edward, I understand," I whispered sadly, feeling the tears well up in my eyes, even the fucking puffy one.

"Understand what?"

I shook my head, not even wanting to talk about it.

"This just kills me. I... I'm so sorry I was never there to protect you. I wish more than anything I could have been there sooner in your life," his voice was quiet and filled with regret, sorrow building in his green eyes. Suddenly, he began to cry, tears running down his face fiercely. My heart broke and I let out a small cry as I reached forward and wiped his tears away.

"Please don't," I begged, a lump forming in my throat. The sight of Edward crying was too much to bear.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm just... I'm so sorry," he was almost sobbing now, hiding his face in his hands. I wrapped my arms around him, allowing his head to rest against my chest in comfort. We stayed like that for a few minutes, crying together at this change of events. Edward is now aware of everything about me. This was all too much.

When he finished crying, he sat up and held my hand, looking at me with red eyes. I forced a smile on my face as he gently caressed my cheek, rubbing his thumb across the wetness on it.

"This is why you shouldn't be in my life, Edward. Do you get it now?" I huffed, begging my eyes to stay focused on the rain so I wouldn't get lost in Edward's. I think it was useless, but worth a shot.

"No, you're wrong. This is EXACTLY why I should be in your life," he vowed. "I will never let him near you again, Bella. I won't let anyone hurt you, I swear," his voice was suddenly dripping with venom, anger in his fierce eyes. He was leaning towards me, the natural connection between us pulling us together, like magnets. Fuck the rain, I never wanted to look away from his eyes again.

He kissed my cheek ever so slightly, as not to disturb the marks on my face. I blushed and leaned my head against his chest as he sat next to me gingerly.

"Where is Phil?" I asked, my heart suddenly pounding with anticipation for the answer.

Edward sighed heavily, stress radiating off his body. "We don't know. I'm sorry. We called the cops, I think he may have gotten tipped off, though. He skipped town, but they're looking, Bella. This town is so small and thhe cops have nothing better to do. They'll be constantly patrolling the town and his house."

I couldn't help but begin to sob uncontrollably, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do in front of Edward. I couldn't help it. There was no fucking way in hell that I could handle Phil being on the loose. He would find me. He swore he would, always, any time, any place. I didn't know where to go or what to do. My brain was caving in on itself with the knowledge that he would come after me one day.

"It's okay, love. Please calm down, he's not going to get near you," Edward whispered in my ear, dragging his fingers through my hair.

After I finished letting my emotions flow out of my system through my tears and loud cries of despair, I looked up at Edward with tired eyes. He smiled sadly at me before kissing my forehead.

"I know this is soon, but I've talked to my family and you are more than welcome to stay at our house. I want to make sure you are safe and there is no better way than you living under the same roof as me."

My eyes widened in shock, the disbelief surrounding me, suffocating me. This couldn't be true... Nobody wants me like that. Especially a picture-perfect family.

"I... I can't possibly-" I began, but Edward cut me off. "Please don't look at it like a pity party, Bella. We WANT to help you. Actually, I NEED to help you. I want to be there for you, to protect you and help get you through this. Please, come stay with us. I swear on my life that it would not be an imposition or a burden at all."

I thought by now I would be done fucking crying, but I wasn't. I began sobbing again, because this very moment was the one I've spent the last many years of my life dreaming about. This moment followed me everywhere, the thought of it mocking me during every single session of abuse from Phil. I never thought this day would come. I was sure I would die at any given moment in that stupid, ugly, 2-story white house on the corner of Carmellow Road.

"Bella, please don't cry, this is going to be amazing. I promise," he vowed, his voice nothing but a gentle whisper in my ear.

"Are you sure about this?"

He smiled, kissing the back of my hand. "100%."

"Thank you so much, Edward. I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I will forever be grateful," I breathed, hugging him as tightly as I could without disturbing my injuries. He placed feathery kisses onto the top of my head as I rested my ear against his chest, listening to the heartbeat of the man who officially stole mine altogether.

I fell asleep in Edward's arms, the pain medicine as well as the overwhelming turn of events taking a huge hit on my energy. I woke up later that day, around 6 P.M. I heard the voices of Alice and Mrs. Cullen in the room, talking to Edward. I decided to be a little nosy and keep my eyes closed a little longer, feigning sleep so I could eavesdrop.

"Edward, please at least go home and shower and take a nap. I know you want to be here but you need to take care of yourself, too," Mrs. Cullen gently urged.

"I'm not leaving her here, at all. What if she needs me?" His velvety voice was thick with worry, and I imagined him running his hands through his bronze hair in agitation.

"Right now, the only thing she needs is to rest. Dad said she'll probably be asleep all day and night. We'll stay here while you leave and wait with her until you come back. If she needs anything, she has us, too," Alice battled, and my heart swelled in my chest. I don't fucking know what I did to deserve their graciousness.

I heard Edward sigh heavily before muttering "I don't want to be away from her right now."

"I know, it will only be for a little while. You need to rest. Alice and I will be here."

"But,"

Figuring Edward would listen to me if I scolded him, I decided to "wake up." I knew he needed to sleep and step out of the hospital for a few hours. This probably wasn't good for him.

"Edward," I interrupted him. "Listen to them. I'll be fine, you need to sleep, too," I said. Esme and Alice threw grateful smiles my way before enveloping me in hugs, whispering in my ear how sorry they were and how they will always be there for me. I cried at their words, marveling in the sensation of their support.

"Okay, if you insist, I'll go. Only for a few hours, okay? If you need anything, call me," he said before lightly pecking my forehead and walking tiredly out of the room, dragging his feet.

"Bella," Esme began as soon as Edward was gone. "I know Edward has told you, but you are very welcome to stay with us for as long as you'd like. I will beg you if I must. I would hate to see you go anywhere else, and I know Edward would, as well."

I smiled, nodding my head. "I would like that. Thank you, so, so much. I truly appreciate it."

"We're so sorry about everything, Bella. It broke our heart. We'll be there for you to get through this, no matter what, okay?" Alice chimed in, her musical voice soothing me. I nodded before she jumped into bed with me and kissed my cheek, sealing our friendship.

"I will owe you guys forever, I can get a job to help-"

"Nonsense, dear," Esme scoffed, waving her hand across her face. "You owe us nothing. You have given us what we've been looking for for a while now."

"I did?"

She nodded. "You put the smile back on Edward's face. You put the light back in his eyes. I missed him so much, Bella. His ex-girlfriend really broke his heart. He was sort of in a shell, but you pulled him out."

I could not believe what I was hearing. I had THAT effect on Edward fucking Cullen? How could this be? What did I even do? Was I magical or something?

"How?" I asked.

"He talks to us more now, and he doesn't mope around the house or get moody. Sometimes it was a real pain just to get him to talk, but not anymore," Alice giggled as she casually flipped through a fashion magazine. She was highlighting different stores and outfits.

"Are you planning a shopping trip with a highlighter, Alice?" I laughed.

"Yeah, these clothes will look great on you!"

I raised my brows. "ME?!" I shrieked.

Alice rolled her eyes. "You really didn't expect a wardrobe change? If you live in the Cullen house, you gotta dress the part!" She giggled, that damn highlighter in her hands marking my torture.

I was grateful for Alice and Esme, because the entire time Edward was gone, they didn't mention Phil or any worrying we would have to do in the future about this whole incident. They spent most of the time preparing me to live with them. They mentioned strange habits that some family members inhabited, like Carlisle's recurring appetite for steak in the middle of the night, and Edward's habit of eating food out of the fridge that had someone else's name written on it.

We laughed and I listened to them tell family stories over the years. I didn't realize that it was 5 hours later when Edward returned, looking much better than before he left. The bags under his eyes were visibly smaller, and he shaved the 5:00 shadow off his face. He wore my favorite crooked smile as he waltzed through the door.

"I'm surprised you're still awake. How do you feel?" He murmured as he sat on the white plastic chair next to my bed, stroking my arm lovingly. I blushed, watching Esme and Alice smile widely at the sight of Edward being affectionate towards me.

"I actually feel pretty good. Your Mom and sister kept me company and had me laughing for hours."

Esme smiled and kissed my forehead. "Anything for my new daughter. You ready to go, Alice? You have school in the morning and I have work."

Alice nodded and pecked my cheek lightly. "Hopefully you're out of here tomorrow, Bella! Mom and I have been getting your room together and we're almost done. I can't wait for you to see!" She chirped, clapping her little hands excitedly.

Edward and I were left alone, and I blushed when I asked him to join me in bed.

He chuckled. "Anything for you, Bella." He snuggled under the covers with me and gathered me in his arms, where I coincidentally fit perfectly. I sighed in bliss and closed my eyes, allowing sleep to consume me.

I woke up late the next morning, noon right around the corner.

"Good morning, beautiful. How do you feel?" Edward's soothing, deep voice was right in my ear. I shivered at the sound of it, my body always being affected by everything about him.

"I feel better, a little less sore."

He nodded, grinning. "Good. Dad said you could most likely go home today. He wants you to stay for a few more hours, just to be safe."

I nodded my agreement, then started thinking of what would be happening today. I would move into a new home, with a family who's goal was not to cause me immeasurable amounts of pain. It was still shocking that this day had actually come. With every second that passed by while living in that house, I believed more and more that I would never get out.

Where was Phil? The fact that he was still out there, somehow, swirled around in my mind, causing fear to swim through my senses. Would he find a way to me? I couldn't allow that to happen. Especially to the Cullen's. I had no doubt in my mind that he wouldn't hesitate to hurt anyone on his journey to finding me. What if one of them got hurt because of me?

"Bella, what's wrong?" I heard Edward ask, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"I'm just... scared," I uttered pathetically, hiding my face deeper in his chest.

He ran his fingers through my hair slowly. "I know. But, I promise, you don't need to be. He would be a fucking idiot to try to come back. He was a cop, after all. He knows he doesn't stand a chance."

"But, he's also crazy. I think he's so desperate to find me that he doesn't care about the consequences of trying. I can't let anything happen to you or your family," I whispered sadly.

"Bella, please don't worry. The only thing we want is for you to be safe, in a good environment to heal from all of this, physically and mentally."

"But-"

"Bella, love, please don't worry," he repeated. "My Dad has a gun license. I'm not supposed to tell anyone this, but he has a gun in his bedside table just in case anyone intrudes in our home. He also has one on the second floor, where Alice and I's - and your - rooms are. It's in a litte table in the hallway, so Alice and I could protect ourselves, as well, if something were to ever happen. I have every intention of using that gun in a heartbeat against Phil. He doesn't stand a chance."

His words helped calm my nerves and anxiety. I loved hearing that the Cullen's had means to defend themselves, and I felt much better about living with them.

"Okay," I smiled, but he looked upset and angry.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's just... the fact that you're this terrified of him must mean that he was truly awful to you. I don't even like to think about it. It makes me fucking sick," he growled, his hands balled into fists at his sides.

I shushed him, rubbing my thumb across the length of his long, slender hand. "It's okay, Edward. I'm okay now, thanks to you."

He scoffed. "Yeah, I've known you since kindergarten and it's taken me this long to help you. How long has this been going on, Bella?"

I looked at my lap, too ashamed to confess to his face. His perfect fucking face. "Almost 4 years."

"Since your Mom passed, I'm guessing?"

I nodded.

"That's bullshit!" He was yelling now. "His wife dies, so he uses his pain to abuse her daughter, who is probably feeling even more pain than him because of her death? What a fucking coward! Bella, you don't know how badly I want to kill him."

"You and me both," I muttered.

He crooked his finger under my chin, forcing me to look at him. His eyes softened a little, the anger slowly disappearing. "They'll find him, Bella. And, we'll put him in jail. He will waste away in there, I promise."

Edward and I sat in a comfortable silence for a little while, just enjoying the feeling of holding each other. I was so grateful to have his arms to sink into when I felt like I would sink in the stress.

Carlisle came into the room, smiling warmly at us. "How are you feeling today, Bella?"

"Not bad," I wasn't lying. I was fully aware of my injuries - especially the fucking eye - but the painkillers did a great job of battling the agony. I wished I had these things the past 4 years.

"Good. You're healing as expected, so I don't see an issue with your leaving today. I've typed up a list of instructions for you."

I read over the paper, sighing to myself. I was grateful for his help, but it sucked to deal with. No school for 2 weeks. No driving for 2 weeks. Try to stay in bed as much as possible. 2 pills a day during week 1 of recovery. 1 pill a day during week 2 of recovery. 1\2 a pill a day during week 3 of recovery.

"Thank you, Carlisle. For everything."

"We're excited to have you, Bella. It's also great that I can monitor your recovery at home, as well."

3 hours later, I was being put into a wheelchair and sent home with Edward. I smiled the whole way out, more than willing to get out of this fucking hospital. To a real home.

"Bella, this is your room!" Alice shouted happily as she opened the bedroom door at the end of the hallway on the second floor. My heart pounded in anticipation.

A large bed sat against the back wall, a green and white comforter adorning it. On the left wall sat a large, rustic white desk with a flat-screen TV sitting on top. The right wall was home to a white desk and a white dresser. A laptop sat at the desk, as well as a cup full of pens and pencils. A speaker sat on the dresser, as well as an iPhone.

"You guys really didn't need to do all this for me," I gasped, taking it all in. It was just so... me. I wondered if they truly cared about me or if I was just an open book.

"Nonsense, Bella. We had a blast doing it!" Esme chuckled as Alice nodded fiercely next to her.

"Thank you, so much," I whispered, hugging them both. Edward sat on the foot of my new bed, smiling widely, lighting up my world, again.

I couldn't believe they had gotten me a laptop AND a new iPhone. These people don't even know me that well, yet they're taking care of me as if I'm one of them. Maybe, I was destined to actually be one of them.

"As for clothes, Bella, we weren't sure what you wanted to do. Would you like to go back to your house and get them, or we can just set you up with a bunch of new ones?" Esme asked.

"New ones! Shopping trip! Big shopping trip!" Alice sang excitedly, literally jumping up and down.

I didn't want to disappoint Alice, especially after everything she has done for me, but I didn't need an entire new wardrobe. I decided to settle for both. "I'll pick up my essentials, but I could definitely use some more."

Did I really want to go home, though? I was planning on never stepping foot on that property again. I wanted to be completely and utterly free of that house. Just the thought of going home to get clothes made my stomach churn with nerves. I knew the cops were sitting outside the house, waiting for Phil to return, so I would be safe if I did choose to go.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Edward asked as Esme and Alice glanced at me with worry.

"It's nothing, I... I just don't know if I even want to go back there." I crossed my arms against my chest, as if I was holding myself together.

"I'll go tomorrow after school, since I have the best fashion sense and I know exactly what you'll need," Alice volunteered. The perfect happy medium. I smiled and handed her the house key from my tiny, beat-up purse.

Esme went downstairs to prepare dinner, ignoring me when I offered to help. She commanded me to rest. I obliged, sitting on the edge of my bed next to Edward.

"What do you wanna do now, Bella?" Alice inquired.

I desperately needed a shower, but I was far too sore from Phil's beating to scrub my body. I tried as hard as I could to ignore the feeling that I was filthy, but it nagged at me to no end. I hated to do it - not comfortable with anyone seeing my bare body because of the scars and bruises - but I needed help showering.

"I, um, I need to shower. But, uh, I think I'm too sore. Could you, um, help me, Alice?"

She giggled softly, and Edward's eyes widened as he actually blushed. I wondered if he was imagining himself helping me shower or something.

"No problem. Shoo, Edward, it's girl time."

Edward rolled his eyes at his sister but smiled my crooked smile at me and exited the room.

"Don't worry, Bella, I'll scrub ya down!" Alice had absolutely no problem getting 100% comfortable with someone right away. For some reason, I didn't feel awkward about her seeing me naked. Or scrubbing my naked body. I trusted her, and I was starting to look at her like a sister.

Alice grabbed her expensive, high-end hair products to the shower in my bedroom. They all smelled exquisite, and even the packaging was beautiful. She stood outside the shower and reached in, washing my hair for me with shampoo and conditioner. I managed to scrub my privates alone, and Alice did the rest of my body. She even squirted a small amount of facial cleanser into her hands and scrubbed my face, babbling on about skin care and how the expensive products are absolutely worth it.

The rest of my night was absolutely perfect, and by far the best night of my life since before Mom died. I thought about her a lot tonight, wondering if she was happy to see that I was safe. The Cullen's and I watched movies together in our pajamas, mostly comedies to keep the mood light. UI think that was for my benefit, which I was grateful for. We ate popcorn and ice cream and laughed the night away. I felt like a part of an actual family. I felt support. I felt love. It fucking scared me, because there was always that little voice in the back of my head - which sounded a lot like Phil - that told me love doesn't exist and nobody will ever care for me.

I could only hope that it was wrong.

A/N: review pls :)


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: sooo this chapter is my longest one in the entire story! I still have about 5 more chapters to write, but this one still takes the cake. Hope you enjoy ;) review pls!

EPOV:

Bella has been living with us for almost 3 weeks now. They have been amazing, yet difficult.

She remains to be very cautious and stubborn. I can sense that she is trying to trust us, but she is scared. Sometimes, I can tell that some of her smiles are forced. Sometimes, a cloud of sadness emerges in her eyes. Sometimes, she has nightmares and wakes up screaming. Sometimes, she spends hours on end writing at her desk in the infamous black notebook, completely forgetting everything and everyone.

But, I can see that she is TRYING, and slowly improving. Previously, all of her smiles were forced. Her eyes used to always hold sadness. She used to do nothing but write in that notebook during her free time.

I've stayed by her side through every emotional breadown, every nightmare that had her screaming at 2:30 in the morning, every day that she felt worthless. Because, that's all I can do. I refuse to do anything but be there for her. She means way too much to me, and her recovery is the most important thing to me at the moment. It's all I think about. Ways to make Bella happy. Ways to make her smile. Ways to allow her to let me tear that wall down that surrounds her heart so protectively.

I haven't pushed her, relationship-wise. I figure the best thing for her to focus on right now is resting and moving on from Phil. But, she knows how I feel. I told her the night I brought her to the hospital and I've made sure to show her with careful actions and words that nothing has changed. I will wait as long as I have to. Always.

She has healed extaordinarily well, and is now free of injury. Her bruises are very faint, and her face is as perfect as always. Her scars remain, but I've done everything I could to accept that. I'm working on it, but seeing them causes anger to course through my veins.

There has been no leads in Phil's case. His story ended up on the local news, and spread all the way to some major news stations in Seattle. Bella absolutely hated that her past was on TV, but it was a good thing. The moral of the news cast was to keep an eye out for Phil and to call the authorities if he is spotted. He hasn't returned, and he hasn't been found. Not a single trace of him. I silently hoped he committed suicide, not knowing where else to turn. But, I knew that Bella would sleep better at night with the capability of knowing his whereabouts.

Today was Friday, and I was excited to spend the entire weekend with Bella. Once we returned home from school, Alice congratulated her on surviving her first school week since she's lived with us.

"What do you want to do tonight?" She asked as we headed into the basement to lounge on the couch for a little.

"Well, I don't know if you're up for it, but Alice invited Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie to spend the night, since our parents are going to be gone all weekend at that car show in Oregon."

"Sounds like fun. What are we gonna do?"

I shrugged. "'Dunno. One of them will most likely bring alcohol, and we'll probably end up smoking some weed. I know you've never done any of that, so we don't have to join. I completely understand."

She giggled, shaking her head. "No, I'm fine with it. I must admit, I'm a little scared, though."

"You really don't have to, Bella. I don't want to push you to do something you're not comfortable with, or ready for."

"I want to, Edward. We all know I'm gonna try weed and alcohol at some point. It might as well be here, at home, where I'm with people I know." My heart thrilled at her calling my home her own as well.

"I'll look after you. We all will. We all tend to get wild and all of us had ended up as the babysitter here and there," I chuckled, thinking about all the times of acting stupid with the gang. Nostalgia sucks. But, it's better that Bella is here, now.

Bella gulped, but nodded while giggling. "I probably don't need much of either."

I laughed, because now I was thinking of my first times trying the both. "Yeah, you're right."

She echoed my thoughts. "How was your first time, with both of them?"

"Well, I was 15 when I got drunk for the first time. It was with Emmett and Jasper, in Emmett's house. His Dad went out of town one night so we drank some of his vodka and filled water in its place. We ended up swimming in Emmett's pool, and Jasper threw up on the diving board. Emmett's dog came over and ate it right off, which was so gross that Emmett and I threw up in the bushes. We had to hose them down to clean it off." Bella was cracking up at the story, her laugh so melodic, the joy in her smile making my heart twitch. I would never get used to her radient beauty. She was my own personal sun.

"What about weed?"

"I was 16, also with Emmett and Jasper. Emmett tried it before with his cousin and convinced Jasper and I to do it with him. We smoked a blunt in Emmett's car while he drove around. It was in the middle of the night, in the summer. We got so high and went back to Emmett's and baked old biscuits in the oven. I passed out while I was waiting for mine to cool down."

"Wow, I'm excited to try them, to be honest. I always hear funny stories and it kind of pissed me off that I've never even gotten the chance to try."

I was glad she felt that way. I was scared she would grow wary and disclude herself. Seeing her excitement made me happy.

Everyone showed up around 7 PM. We ordered a few pizzas for delivery upon their arrival and the girls decided to bake chocolate chip cookies for dessert. The three of them laughed the entire time, giggling to each other in the kitchen and talking quietly. I knew they were up to no good, but I dropped it, happy that Bella was able to experience "girl time."

We filed into the basement when our stomachs were filled with nothing but junk, Rosalie pulling two big bottles of vodka out of a pink overnight bag. Moments later, Emmett revealed 2 12 packs of beer in his backpack. Jasper reached into his pocket, grabbing at a big bag of weed. I watched as Bella glanced at it all, wide-eyed.

"Don't worry, Bella, you'll be fine," Rosalie giggled beside her as she mixed cranberry juice and vodka in a plastic, red cup. She didn't put a lot of alcohol in it, so I knew it was for Bella.

"Here, this isn't nearly as strong as I would drink. You might even need more, but I decided to play it safe," Rosalie handed Bella the cup, and she gulped before sniffing it.

"Bella! You broke a rule!" Emmett bellowed as he cracked open a beer, setting up our ping-pong table for beer pong.

"What?"

"You can't ever smell the drink! It will mess with you... you just have to chug it like a man!" He teased, wagging a finger at her for dramatic emphasis. She blushed, sipping the drink. All 5 of us glanced at her in anticipation.

"Not bad," she giggled, her face so adorably red. Everyone clapped and began making their drinks.

"Bella, would you like to be my pong partner?" I bowed in front of her playfully. She grinned, nodding eagerly.

"Okay, it's self explanatory. You just have to shoot your ball into the other team's cups. If the opponent makes a ball into one of your cups, you have to take the ball out and drink what's in it. For your benefit, some are just a splash of juice, and some have a little bit of alcohol in them mixed in with the juice. Rosalie made it random for a surprise factor," I laughed.

Bella nodded, and I could see that she was getting excited. She was already about halfway done with her first drink, but she didn't seem very drunk. I was glad Rosalie was taking it easy on her. We've declared her to be group bartender when we all first began venturing into the world of alcohol. Rosalie seemed to figure out how to make drinks taste so good, but effect you so much at the same time.

Bella and I were playing against Alice and Jasper first. Honestly, Bella was pretty bad. I scored two cups before anyone else playing. Alice ended up getting a cup with alcohol in it, but Jasper did not. Then, Alice sunk a ball into a cup. It was always ladies first, so Bella was declared ownership of the first cup. She sipped it cautiously at first, and we all laughed at the concentrated look on her face. After puckering her lips and squeezing her eyes tightly shut, she muttered that there was definitely alcohol in it.

I scored another cup that, yet again, had alcohol in it, waiting for Alice. She flipped me off and drank the small amount of liquid, squeezing her eyes shut.

Jasper scored one next, and the rest of the game was a toss up. At the end, We only had one cup on their side - Bella actually scored one, and I hugged her in appreciation. Jasper has had 2 cups with alcohol and 2 without, while Alice had 3 with alcohol and only one without. On our end, Bella had 1 with alcohol and 1 without. I had 2 with alcohol, none without.

I shot the ball into the cup and watched as it sunk right in, Alice and Jasper both groaning in unison as I wrapped Bella into my arms and spun her around in victory, watching her hair fan out in all directions around her face, her skin seeming to glow with her smile and her eyes. I was hopelessly falling for her with every breath that I took. It got deeper and deeper every time I saw that smile pulling at her pouty lips. She was simply so gorgeous, so pure.

After I set her down, I saw all my friends look at us with knowing smiles. Bella blushed and sipped at her drink, but she was smiling a goofy smile. She looked a bit drunk, but she seemed happy.

After a few more rounds of pong, we were all pretty drunk, especially Bella. I had to remind her to drink water so she wouldn't get sick or hungover in the morning.

"You're soooooo good at making these taste sooooooo good, Rosalie," she slurred from her spot on the couch, rubbing the blanket beside her against her cheek and sighing in contentment. Everyone was laughing at her, she was just too cute when she was drunk.

"Bella, how do you feel about taking a bong hit?" Emmett inquired, pulling his blue bong from behind his chair. Jasper began packing weed into it, and Alice and Rosalie got up to open all the windows in the basement and light numerous candles, preparing to get the smell out before Mom and Dad came home in a few days.

"Hmmm..." she tapped her chin. "Sounds like something I could enjoy. What's it like?"

"It's not as intense as alcohol. You have much more control over yourself. You just feel mellow, calmer, but everything is insanely funny, and food is fucking awesome. So is music, sex, anything really..." I glared at Jasper, not enjoying the sex reference. I know he was just drunk and blabbering, but I did not appreciate hearing him talk about sex with my sister. He looked up at me and muttered, "sorry, dude, I spaced out for a second."

Bella giggled, slurring her words while pointing to the bong that Emmett held against his chest, almost protectively. He was a bit of a stoner. "That thing looks kinda scary. How do you smoke weed out of that? It looks like a hamster house."

We were clutching our sides in laughter. We were all drunk, but not as much as Bella. I kept glancing at her throughout the night. I haven't seen her look this happy since I've met her. It was almost like she needed this. She was finally able to do stupid, teenage things with people who cared about her. I was more than thrilled with the fact that I've helped her get this far.

"You put your mouth at the top of it, where the big opening is," Alice pointed to the pieces of the bong as she gave instructions. "Then, you put the weed into the smaller hole down here. As you suck in through the top, light the weed at the same time. You'll see smoke forming, then pull the weed bowl out and inhale it all up."

Bella stared at her with narrowed eyes. "Why do you have to confuse me? I'm already confused as it is. Shame on you, Alice. Shame."

I threw my arm around her shoulder, rubbing it affectionately. "You can hit it last, so you can watch us all first."

We began passing it around the circle, coughing like chainsmokers. I took a big hit, excited to hit a bong. I haven't in a long time. I was starting to feel the effects of the weed mixing with the alcohol, and I was getting relatively messed up.

"I'll light the weed and lift the bowl for you, Bella. All you have to do is inhale as soon as I light it. Keep inhaling until the smoke is gone. Okay?" I offered.

She nodded, and glanced at me with a worried expression. I winked quickly, reassuring her. She placed her plump lips against the mouthpiece and began inhaling as I lit the bowl of weed, watching the green turn to orange, and then to black. A bit of smoke pulled into the piece, but I didn't want her taking too much, so I pulled the bowl out right away. She inhaled all the smoke into her system, making sort of a disgusted face. It was honestly hot to see her exhale it. It gave her an edgy look that contrasted with her usual innocence. She closed her eyes and coughed a bit, not as badly as I did when I first got high. We all leaned forward in our seats, waiting for her reaction, just like with the alcohol.

"That felt... weird. I tasted... something."

"Weed," Rosalie giggled, taking a huge rip from the bong.

"How do you feel, Bella?" I asked gently.

"Well, I'll tell ya. It's really hot in here, even though the windows are open. Umm... sometimes there's 2 Edwards, sometimes there's not. But it feels cool, like I'm floating in space or somewhere else that I could float. Maybe the ocean? Or a pool? But not Emmett's pool, because Jasper threw up on the diving board." We howled with laughter again.

"What is this? The roast of Jasper Hale?" Jasper chuckled, shaking his head and packing the bong with more weed, sprinkling the green flakes into the bowl like a chef sprinkling cheese on a pizza.

We passed it around one more time, and I was surprised that Bella wanted to hit it again. She was officially fucked up after her second hit, and we all came to an agreement that this would be the perfect time to cut her off. She was still able to talk and move, but another shot of alcohol or another hit of weed may very well send her to the toilet. I think she was perfect the way she was.

"What are we gonna do now, guys?" Alice inquired.

"Twister!" Emmett declared, running to the closet and pulling the old game from the top shelf.

"I haven't played twister in FOREVER! I used to play with my Mom all the time. I doubt I'm as good as I used to be! But I will win, I can feel it in my soul," Bella chattered with drunken excitement.

We allowed the 3 girls to play first, and they gave me the job of being "the spinner." It was absolutely hilarious to watch, and all 6 of us cracked up the whole time. The fact that they were drunk and high made it so much worse for them. They were one giant knot throughout the entire game, bumping heads or kicking each other's limbs. Their faces were bright red with laughter, the happiness so intense I could feel it lingering in the air.

I was trying so hard to be a gentlemen, but I couldn't stop myself from checking Bella out. She kept bending over, and her ass looked phenomenal in those leggings. Her cleavage was exposed when she would throw her body into certain positions, and I could feel the drunk, teenage boy in me attempt to rise to the surface. I shooed him away, never intending to disrespect her. I knew very well she was no where near ready for anything sexual, and I would accept that. I would accept anything I could get from her.

After Rosalie fell, it was Bella vs. Alice. Bella bent into the most awkward position when I called "right foot green," and her legs completely gave out, causing her to drop to the ground with a loud thud. She immediately began giggling, and I rushed over to help her up.

"Are you alright?" I knew I was overprotective, but she was insanely injured not even 3 weeks ago and I didn't want her to push herself.

"Yeah, that was so fun! Now, you guys have to play!" She howled, and the girls clapped their approval.

We played as best as we could, but Emmett was fucking huge and we all ended up in... awkward positions. But, we laughed it off, because we were secretly having too much fun. I ended up winning, and Bella mumbled something like "of course both Cullen's win. You guys have super powers or something!"

It was a little after midnight, but we were all too hyped up to be tired. We decided to play "Cards Against Humanity." I was worried that it would be too... much for Bella. I allowed her to read some of the cards - which were so offensive, but so funny - and she cracked up at them all.

We played until about 3 in the morning, when we began to come down from the highs of the alcohol and weed.

"You guys are sleeping down here, right?" I called to Emmett and Rosalie, pointing to the spare bedroom we had in the basement. That's where they always slept when the gang spent the night. Emmett nodded, wiggling his brows. I told him he was responsible for washing the sheets in the morning. And, I told them to keep it quiet. I've heard Rosalie and Emmett have sex before... it was not fun to listen to.

Jasper followed Alice up to her room, and I didn't even allow myself to think about what would go on in there.

I found Bella in the kitchen, munching on some chocolate chip cookies and raiding the fridge.

"What are you looking for?" I chuckled, walking up behind her. She twirled around to face me, and her eyes brightened at the sight of me. My heart leapt in my chest.

"Milk for my beautiful cookie."

I pointed directly in front of her. "It's right there," I laughed.

She successfully poured the milk in a cup and dipped a few cookies into it, dancing in her spot because of the great taste.

"Is it bedtime?" She slirred as she cleaned out her cup.

"Are you tired? It's 3:15 AM," I chuckled.

"Tired... yes. Bedtime." She shuffled her little feet up the stairs, and I followed behind her, ready to catch her incase she fell.

She turned around to look at me, and she bit her lip, casting her eyes downward.

"What is it, Bella?"

She looked up at me through her thick lashes, and her beauty instantly captivated me. She smiled shyly. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

My stomach flopped, my heart about to burst into flames. I've went into Bella's room in the middle of the night whenever I heard her having a nightmare, but I only stayed until she fell back asleep. We have never... gone to bed together. I felt my palms growing sweaty, but I nodded eagerly. She smiled and went into her room to grab a change of clothes before following me to mine.

She changed in my bathroom and waltzed out in shorts and a t-shirt. Her legs looked so perfect, so creamy. I gulped as she gingerly laid in my bed, her hair fanned out against MY pillow. What did I do to get so lucky?

I joined her in bed, and she immediately snuggled into me, resting her head against my chest and wrapping an arm tightly around my waist. She fit so perfectly, and she kept me so warm. I gathered her in my arms, relishing in her sweet, strawberry scent against my nose.

"Thank you for such a fun night, Edward. I like the weed and the liquor," she giggled, looking up at me. I smiled her favorite smile and stroked her hair, kissing her forehead.

I pulled away, and she was gazing at my lips in wonder. She leaned forward, and I could feel my senses burning with desire as she pressed her lips against mine, kissing me with so much passion that the sensation brought me to life. I couldn't believe how good she tasted, how perfectly her lips moved with mine. I cupped my hands against her cheeks, willing her to come closer in any way, shape or form.

But, she was drunk, and I knew that. I couldn't take advantage of her or push her.

I gently pulled away, but kept my hands against her cheeks, looking into her eyes. Hers were blazing with passion, lust written in the features. I rubbed my thumbs across her cheeks, smiling. "We're drunk, Bella. I don't want you to regret anything," I explained.

"I don't regret it."

I nodded. "I know, but I don't want to take advantage of you in any way."

She jutted her bottom lip out, the moon shining directly on her face through the blinds. "You don't want me?"

I rolled my eyes, pulling her against me. She snuggled back into my chest. Oh, how wrong she was. "Silly Bella. Of course I want you, and I always will. It's just not the best time at this moment, okay, love?"

She nodded and placed a tiny kiss against my bare chest. I kissed the top of her head and felt her snuggle deeper into the crook of my neck. I fell asleep with the greatest smile on my fucking face.

I woke up the next morning, feeling happier than I have in years. Bella was still asleep in my arms. From the positions we were in when I opened my eyes, it seems that we hadn't moved at all throughout the night.

I reached for my phone beside me to check the time. 11:42 AM. Wow, I hadn't slept in this late in a while.

Bella began to stir in my arms, and she looked up at me before smiling shyly. I grinned and leaned down to kiss the tip of her nose.

"Good morning."

"Morning," she mumbled tiredly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "What time is it?"

"11:45 AM. We really slept in," I laughed, looking at her hair, which was a mess around her face. Not in a bad way, at all, it was just humorous.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Your hair kinda looks like a haystack... but, I like it."

She rolled her eyes and slapped my chest playfully, which resulted in me tickling her. She squealed in my grasp, laughing loudly, the sound bouncing off the walls and surrounding me.

I let her go, and she snuggled into my side again. I kissed the top of her head, loving the way she felt against me.

"Thanks for letting me sleep with you."

"Bella, you're always welcome to sleep here, I hope you know that," I pressed, gazing into her eyes. She nodded and hopped off the bed, saying she needed a shower. Her and I were going to have to talk about what is going on between us. The thought made me nervous, yet excited.

I took a shower, shaving my face as well. I headed downstairs to find everyone in the kitchen, cooking a huge breakfast. I joined in the process, and soon the 6 of us were sitting to a feast of coffee, pancakes, eggs, bacon, toast, and breakfast potatoes. We spent the entire time talking about the previous night, laughing at each other. After we cleaned up, Rosalie and Emmett left, having other plans for the day. Alice and Jasper went up to Alice's room to play video games, so that left me alone with Bella. Not that I minded, at all.

"What would you like to do today?" I asked her as we plopped lazily onto the living room couch. I turned on the TV, flipping through the channels in boredom.

I looked over at her and she looked as though she was debating something. She opened her mouth to talk, but closed it again. Curiosity burned in her eyes.

"Tell me, dummy," I teased, tickling her side. She squirmed and giggled.

"I just don't want you to be... disappointed in me."

I furrowed my brows. "What is it?"

"Well, I've heard that weed calms you down... and I was wondering if I could try it, without alcohol, to see if it... helps me. Kind of like an experiment..." she trailed off, looking up at me with a scared expression on her face. I wished she understood that she never had to be scared around me.

"Sure, we can do that." I was excited that Bella was so willing to try weed again. It's helped me with some of my emotional issues in the past and I really believed it could help her, too.

"Do you have any?"

"No, but Jasper does. I'll go upstairs and buy some off him." I began to get up, but she grabbed my arm and pulled me back onto the couch, shaking her head.

"No, it's okay, not if you have to pay-"

I scoffed. "Bella, don't worry about that. He gives it to me for a really cheap price and I was probably going to buy more sometime soon anyway."

"Okay," she sighed, defeated.

I ruffled her hair playfully before heading upstairs to Alice's room. I knocked on the door and they yelled for me to come in.

"What's up?" Jasper asked as him and Alice were shooting at enemies on "Halo."

"Can I buy some weed off you?"

He paused the game and turned in his chair to face me. "How much?"

"Is this for Bella, too?" Alice cocked an eyebrow, looking at me with a sour expression.

"I'm not corrupting her, Al. She wants to see if it will calm her down like everyone says. I think it will help her."

Alice shrugged and turned her attention back to the video game. "Just keep an eye on her. Make sure she doesn't get paranoid or anything."

I rolled my eyes at the thought of Alice knowing how to protect Bella better than I do.

I bought 2 grams off Jasper and called Bella upstairs and into my room.

I rolled a blunt with a litle bit of the weed, and Bella looked at me with a confused expression on her face the entire time.

"How are these, compared to the bong thing from last night?"

I shrugged. "Not much different. You don't need as many hits from a bong as you do from a blunt to get high. In my opinion, smoke from a blunt is harsher. I've met people that think otherwise, though. It's all about preference."

"Where do you want to smoke it?"

"How about the meadow?" I suggested, and she immediately smiled from ear-to-ear and hugged me. I haven't taken her since that first time, since she was healing for so long. Now, she was perfectly capable to walk there.

We dressed in warm clothes, and I grabbed a lighter and a water bottle before we made our trek into the woods, holding hands as we walked. Bella almost fell a few times, but I was always there to catch her.

It was overcast today, but it was the type that's cozy and makes you want to snuggle deeper into a blanket with a book. Fall was beautiful, especially here in Washington. All of the trees were various shades of warm tones, and the air smelled of crisp leaves. I was excited to get to the meadow, my first time smoking with Bella alone the only thing on my mind.

We finally made it, and Bella sprawled the blanket out that she had hanging over her arm. We sat on it, snuggling close to one another before I lit the blunt and inhaled it hungrily. I unlocked my phone and played some soft acoustic music in the backgroud, fitting the atmosphere perfectly.

I passed it to Bella and watched as she inhaled it, taking a tiny hit. She coughed a lot, but laughed when she was done coughing. She took a small sip of water to clear her throat, beaming at me.

We only smoked about half the blunt before Bella was insanely high and claimed she didn't need anymore. I watched her as I took a few more hits. She laid down on the blanket, looking up at the sky. Her eyes were red and low, a lazy smile toying at her lips. She snuggled herself deeper into her oversized sweater, the sleeves extending way past her little arms.

"How are you feeling?" I asked as I put the blunt out when it was almost gone, nearly burning my fingertips.

"Edward, I feel so calm... tranquil, even. This is great," she talked slowly, her voice as soft as her other features. I laid down next to her and held her hand, gazing up at the sky, as well.

She giggled at the birds that flew around above us, joking that "they were high just like we were." And then, she said "get it? Cause they're high up in the air?"

I laughed loudly, the sound echoing into the forest. "Yeah, Bella, I got it."

She continued to giggle at everything, and it was very obvious to see how stoned she was. It was evident in all aspects. But, she seemed to be really enjoying it.

It felt great to share moments like this with Bella. Just wandering around and getting lost in each other. Adventuring and breaking the law. There was an electricty in the air when we were together, humming in our ears. I sighed in sheer contentment, breathing it all in.

"Edward?" I suddenly heard her call into the autumn air.

"Hmmm?" I mumbled in a hazy bliss.

"Can I, well, ask you some personal questions?"

I sat up on my elbows, looking at her. "Yeah, of course. What do you wanna know?"

She bit her lip and her cheeks blushed that familiar shade of scarlet. "Well, when I was in the hospital, your Mom and Alice said something about, uh, you being kind of... down the past couple years. So, I was, well, um, just wondering if it's because you miss your ex-girlfriend?"

I sighed, wondering if I've been failing at showing Bella my feelings for her. How could she believe that I would ever think of Jane when I'm in her presence? How could she believe that Jane even crosses my mind? My mind never conists of anything but Bella anymore. My shy, clumsy, beautiful, warm, strong Bella.

"No, I don't. Not until I met you, at the very least. I guess I was just brooding because she did break my heart. It wasn't because I missed her, it was just because I was pissed off at the fact that I invested so much time and effort into somebody and they fucked me over in the long run."

Bella nodded her understanding, holding my hand. "She didn't deserve you."

I laughed out loud. "Oh, I know. It just really hurt, ya know? I kept it bottled inside and didn't really talk about it to anyone. She just made me feel... worthless. I tried so hard and she was still obviously unhappy."

"Edward, you are worth everything to me. She was just immature and stupid. I find it unbelievable that a girl would be lucky enough to receive your affection, but hurt you anyway." Bella actually seemed mad, her jaw was tight and her lips pursed in an angry line. It was kind of menacing, but mostly adorable.

I shrugged. "Like I said, I'm over it. I haven't thought about her since you came into the picture," I breathed into her ear, kissing the spot just below it lightly. She shivered in my arms, but I don't think it had anything to do with the weather.

"Your family said you're happier now," she whispered, looking into my eyes. I nodded and pressed my forehead against hers, feeling her hot breath tickle my skin. She pecked me lightly on the lips before ducking her head against my chest, snuggling as deeply as she could into my frame. I chuckled and tickled her sides a bit, listening to her laugh vibrate off the trees.

It felt really nice to talk about some of my old hardships. I was grateful that I had Bella to turn to. I need her just as much as she needs me.

Bella and I began stumbling back to the house around dinner time. Alice and Jasper were lying on the couch in the basement, smoking out of Jasper's bowl piece.

"Guys!" I groaned. "Mom and Dad will be home tomorrow night, you should have gone outside."

"Relax, pissy," Alice battled, flipping me off. "I have all these candles lit, and all the windows are open, and I'll spray the whole basement down. I'll even leave the windows open all day tomorrow. It'll be fine, it's not like they're ever down here anyway." For dramatic emphasis, she lit the bowl and blew the smoke in my face.

"What's for dinner?" Jasper asked, his eyes filled with hunger. He was definitely stoned. "I don't know. Should we make something? Or order out?" I asked.

"Delivery again, it's the easiest. Chinese food?" Alice suggested, and my stomach rumbled in agreement.

"I've never had that," Bella added.

All 3 of us looked at her as if she had 3 heads. "What?!" We yelled in unison.

She shrugged, looking guilty. She was still drowning in her big sweater and sweatpants, and there was a twig in her hair. I tried not to laugh. "Is it good?"

"AMAZING!" Alice gushed. "You have to get general tsao's chicken. Chicken lo mein is good, too! Wait, Bella, come here, you have a twig in your hair!"

I called in and had a huge feast of things sent to the house, thankful Mom and Dad left us more than enough money for food while they were gone.

Once the food arrived, we made our plates of random foods, giving everything a taste. I was surprised to see Bella's plate nearly toppling out of her little hands.

"How is it, Bella?!" Alice chirped as Bella took her first bite, which was lo mein. Bella moaned at the taste and kept eating, giving a thumbs up.

"So, Bella, how did you like the first weed and alcohol experience?" Jasper asked, biting into an egg roll.

"I liked them both, it was actually a lot of fun. I didn't even get hungover, can you believe that?"

"It's cause you drank a bunch of water, that's the key," Alice wagged her finger.

After dinner, Bella and I were coming down hard from the weed and decided to take a nap. I anxiously invited her to come sleep in my bed with me, and she didn't refuse. She nodded while biting her lip, making my cock twitch a tiny bit.

She cuddled into my side again, and I placed tiny kisses all over her cheek, listening to her squeal in delight. I shut off the lamp and watched the sunset until we drifted off to sleep.

"Edward," I heard Bella's soft voice, pulling me out of my sleep. I opened my eyes to find the room dark, and I wondered what time it was. I turned on the lamp and found my phone. 10:30 PM. Wow, Bella and I napped for about 3 hours.

I looked over at her, but she was still asleep, her lips parted slightly, some hair resting against her face. I tucked it behind her ear as she said my name again.

She was sleep-talking. And she was saying my name. I loved the idea of her thinking of me in her sleep. My face in her dreams.

Since I turned the light on, she began to wake up, as well. She opened and closed her eyes a few times before glancing up at me, smiling.

"Hi, Edward. What time is it?"

"10:30 PM. We were asleep for quite some time," I chuckled.

She laughed, the melody so beautiful in my ears. "Yeah, I guess so. Well, now we're not gonna be able to sleep tonight."

I ran my hands through my hair. "Yeah, I'm not tired at all."

We padded downstairs to find a note from Alice on the kitchen table, stating her and Jasper were at the movies and the diner and wouldn't be home until late.

"House to oursevles," I wagged my brows teasingly, causing Bella to punch my arm.

"What shall we do?" I tapped my chin in wonder.

"I know we've been eating terribly all weekend, but we might as well continue. Remember when your Mom bought all those ingredients for ice cream sundaes?"

Bella was a god-sent. Ice cream sundaes sounded amazing at the moment. We raided the cabinets like madmen, blasting music through my phone in the process.

Finally, we had oreo crumbs, chocolate chip cookies (from last night), sprinkles, brownie crumbs, caramel fudge, hot fudge, whipped cream, cherries, and many different flavors of ice cream on the counter. We made a huge mess, making the most delicious sundaes ever. Bella accidentally spilled hot fudge on my hand when it came pouring out of the bottle before she was prepared. I retaliated by dipping my finger in the ice cream and rubbing it on her nose. She gasped and poured whipped cream on my hair.

"Isabella Marie Swan. Are you insinuating a food fight?" I smirked, inching close to her with the caramel syrup. She backed away slowly, but was met with the wall. Her eyes grew fearful when she reazlied she had no where else to run. I watched her face flush crimson.

"Edward... don't do it," she warned, a small smile itching at her lips.

I grinned before dumping the caramel syrup onto her face. She screeched and threw cherries at me, and soon, we were the ice cream sundaes.

We laughed so hard, having the time of our lives together. Bella's eyes were wide with excitement, her cheeks red. Her laugh was so natural, so perfect. I loved seeing her so happy, so free. Everything about her was breathtaking.

We cleaned up and took showers before heading back downstairs. By now, it was almost 1 AM. Alice and Jasper were still out, and we weren't tired yet.

"We've had lots of fun today... I kind of don't want it to stop," Bella sighed as we lounged on the living room couch.

"What kind of misbehavior could we partake in now?" I inquired, causing a small laugh from Bella.

She absentmindedly stroked her fingers up and down my forearm, looking at the skin she left trails of fire on. "You've been showing me what it's like to be a real teenager. You're making me feel so... alive."

In that moment, I knew what I wanted to do the rest of the night. Bella wanted to keep having fun, and I wanted to do everything in my power to give that to her. I thought of the one time in my life where I felt the most alive.

"Bella, have you ever been to Star-lit Mountain?"

"No, what's that?"

"It's a mountain, about 30 minutes from here. Endless hiking trails, and it's gorgeous. I've gone up many times with the the gang, at numerous times of day. You would love it."

"Are you insinuating that we hike, in the middle of the night, on a mountain?" She laughed. "Aren't I a little too accident-prone?"

"I know the one trail inside-out. You drive up most of the mountain, the real hike is a mere 10 or 15 minutes to the top. Once you're there, you can see everything. It's really amazing, Bella. You would love it. We can go now, it's really easy to see shooting stars since you're so high up. You can see the whole galaxy up there, I swear." I was practically begging Bella to go, but I knew it was something that she would be thrilled about. It's always so peaceful and breathtaking up there, all your problems seem to disppear and float down the mountain.

"I'm all for it, then," she giggled. "Are you sure I have... nothing to be afraid of, though? Do you think, ya know, he would be around there? I know it's silly."

"No," I interrupted her, rubbing her shoulder gently. "Not as many people know about it as you would think. I rarely run into anyone, especially the middle of the night."

Since we would be on top of the mountain, in the autumn weather, in the middle of the night, we dressed very warm, throwing many layers of clothing onto our bodies. I packed a backpack of snacks, 2 flashlights and an electric lantern. Bella packed her own big bag with 3 blankets and water bottles. She insisted I carry a baseball bat, as well, for protection purposes. Just incase. She also prepared a large mug of coffee.

"If you want to make it more interesting, we can bring the weed, and smoke some more."

She giggled and nodded. I snatched it from my room and shoved everything we'd need into my pocket.

We sang songs that were popular during our childhood the entire way, loudly, at the top of our lungs. We laughed between songs, and Bella constantly praised my next song choice.

As we offically began driving up the mountain, I could tell Bella was growing a tad nervous. She looked out the window in wonder, trying to find anything in the pitch black.

"It's really dark, Edward," she breathed, her voice flowing with fear.

"I promise, love, there's nothing to be afraid of. I've been here so many times, and have never come in contact with any animal or anyone violent. Mostly just hippies trying to find somewhere cool to smoke pot," I laughed, attempting to lighten the mood.

Once we found the parking lot, I reached into my backpack and gave Bella one of the flashlights. It was extremely bright, and she smiled at the amount of light it cast onto the trail ahead. I turned mine on, too, and used the other hand to hold the baseball bat. She used her other free hand to hold onto the electric lantern. We walked side-by-side, listening to the bugs whistle lowly in the night.

Bella looked around frantically for a while at first, and I was starting to think that bringing here was a horrible idea. But, she slowly began to relax when the clouds disappeared and the moon shined down on us with intensity, illuminating the forestry surrounding us.

"Wow, it is beautiful," she murmured.

We finally reached the top, where the trees disappeared and it was nothing but huge, giant boulders to sit on on the edge of the mountain. We chose one not too close to the edge, large enough to fit the both of us.

Bella looked out at the view around us, and gasped in delight. Even in the darkness, her eyes were as bright as ever, her smile brighter than the sun.

"Edward, this is... amazing." I followed her gaze out into the distance, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close to me. You could see everything from up here. Lights from different cities twinkled far out in the distance. It was magical.

I began setting up the rock with the blankets and snacks, packing a bowl of weed once we were comfortable. Bella was insanely confused about using it, so I assisted her. We both began feeling insanely high, and I knew enough was enough for now. I put it all away and layed down, thankful the rock was completely flat. Our many layers of clothes combined with the blankets made it comfortable enough. I told her to look at the sky, pointing upward.

I was glad the clouds were gone right now. The stars looked amazing. Endless. There was no where besides a mountain where so many were visible.

"It's... I've never seen so many..." she trailed off, her breath visible in the cold mountain air. I wrapped the big blanket tighter around us, holding her close to me. "Edward! A shooting star! Look, it's huge!" She pointed, and I caught a mere glimpse of it. She laughed loudly, vibrating our bodies. I chuckled with her.

"I've never seen one," she whispered.

"Really?"

"No."

"Well, now you can scratch that off your bucket list."

She nodded against my chest, her hair tickling my chin.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, she slightly gasped.

"What's wrong?" I asked, looking at her worriedly.

She shook her head, smiling, but tears were streaming from her eyes.

I cupped her cheek into my hand, searching her eyes for answers.

"What is it?"

"I just realized something, and I... I can't believe it's taken me this long. While I was still living with Phil, I prayed to my Mom one night. I asked her to send me a sign... anything to help me or get me out of Phil's life. You started trying to figure me out within the next few days. You're my gift from her."

Tears were flowing harder from her eyes, landing on my hand heavily. I felt my own welling into my eyes, because this moment was everything I've ever hoped for. I was elated at her words, thanking God that I saved her. The amount of happiness, bliss, and love this woman makes me feel.

Love.

I love Bella. I'm in love with Bella. Unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her.

There was no better time to tell her than now.

"I'm... I know that it's because of fate. We were destined to find each other. I needed you just as much as you needed me. I love you, Bella, I love you so much," I was crying a bit, too, the emotions soaring out of me like an eagle.

Bella threw her arms around my neck in the most intimate, intense hug we've ever shared. She kissed my neck numerous times, then pulled away, looking up at me from under her lashes.

"I love you too, Edward," she breathed, and kissed me with as much passion as she ever has.


	17. Chapter 17 (author's note for chap 16)

Hey guys! I was scared about the last chapter and the amount of weed. I had a strong feeling that many of you wouldn't like it, and would find it unfitting with the story. I received a review confirming this, and I just want to clear some things up. Bella is desperate to live a normal teenage life, since she's never had the chance. That's why she's indulging in weed and alcohol so much. It's all part of her attempt in moving on from Phil and starting over, essentially. I know it doesn't seem like Bella to be smoking so much, but don't worry, it's just a part of her moving on from Phil and experimenting, like normal teenagers do! And I am glad that you guys are being honest and letting me know how you feel! I appreciate every review, good and bad!

til next time :)


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: I'm glad a lot of you ended up enjoying last chapter! It was one of my favorites to write. Didn't you love star-lit mountain? It's based off a real place near where I live (I live in Pennsylvania). I go there all the time and it's gorgeous! I've gone there for sunrises and stargazing :) anyway, leave a review and let me know how you like this chapter! I think you will all enjoy ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight!

BPOV:

I settled deeply into Edward's arms, thrilling to the world below me. I was legitimately on top of the fucking world, in so many ways. I've been searching for Edward my whole life, and now I'm pissed off at the fact that I hadn't had him sooner. He was much easily my lifeline at this point.

We settled back onto the rock, laying down as comfortably as possible. I snuggled my beanie closer to my ears. We looked up at the stars, millions and millions almost in our grasp. I was so close to them, the galaxies seeming endless. I couldn't believe the clouds stayed away. It was almost like it was for Edward and me.

I love this man. With everything that I am. I'm so fucking terrified of it. The feeling is so intense, that I wouldn't be able to bear it if I lost him. I've lost everyone, what makes Edward different? I'm so used to the endless cycle of pain, coming at me in numerous directions. My real father's neglect, my Mother's death, Phil's torture. Who's to say that my life isn't just an endless carasoul? What if Edward will be added right into the mix?

I mean, there's the fact that I don't fucking deserve him. Edward Cullen. He deserves a real woman, somebody who could cater to his needs. I could never be that girl, I'm far too fucked up.

But, he saw something in me, apparently. Why should I act like he doesn't? Especially now, when I need him more than ever.

"What time is it?" I inquired as he absentmindely traced my fingertips gently with his own, causing tiny shivers to swarm through me.

"Almost 4 A.M. Would you like to leave?"

I looked back up at the stars, not ready to say goodbye to this sweet moment just yet. This was very easily the best night of my entire life. I longed to make it last as long as possible.

I suddenly had an idea. "How's the sunrise from up here? It's only a few hours away, unless you're tired."

"Ah, you read my mind. The sunrise is as great as the stars in the middle of the night. If we can stay awake long enough, we'll watch it."

We spent the next few hours in the same position, cuddled together in the blankets, staring at the stars, always finding new constellations or catching glimpses of shooting stars. We drank from the enormous mug of coffee and ate unhealthy snacks, laughing at memories of our embarrassing teachers from elementary school, or talking about music, or making a bucket list of places we wanted to see one day.

Right before the sun was about to rise, the atmosphere slowly grew brighter and brighter by the minute. Eventually, the birds began to chirp as dawn began. Edward decided to pack another bowl with the weed, and I was honestly happy about that. I couldn't believe it, but I actually really liked the stuff. I have spent however many dreadful fucking years living with crippling fear and anxiety. The stupid green plant had the complete opposite effect on me, which was exactly what I was looking for. I feared Edward would think of me as a druggie or something negative, but I tried to remind myself that it was only marijuana. People with issues like mine were prescribed it as medication.

I finally learned how to use the lighter and the bowl by myself, and I watched as the sky turned colors, the red bowl being passed back and forth from Edward to me. The horizon began pitch black, then slowly turned to a deep blue, something similar of the ocean. The blue hue grew lighter and lighter, and soon a cozy orange danced into the sky, followed by a blazing pink. It was simply magical, a sight I will never in my life forget. I suddenly remembered that I had an Iphone now, and I asked Edward to take a picture of the sunrise on it, not exactly familiar with the phone just yet.

I couldn't believe the difference in perspective. I always thought the stars and the sun were gorgeous, but up here, the sights I've seen at home paled in comparison. It was almost too beautiful to be true on top of this mountain. I also think Edward had something to do with that.

"I like watching you smoke," he randomly commented, wearing the infamous crooken grin.

"Why?"

He shrugged nonchalantly as I passed him the bowl and the lighter, his skin glowing in the midst of the dusk sun. "It just makes you look... sexy. Not that you're not always sexy. It's just different, in a good way.

I blushed profusely.

He continued. "And then you go and add even more to your sexiness by blushing to my compliments. didn't even know it could get better, but you constantly blow me away."

I giggled, his words making me feel fucking invincible.

We were silent for a few minutes, never taking our eyes off the incredible sight in front of us.

"Thank you," I whispered as I rested my head against his shoulder, my breath visibly floating out towards the sun.

"For what, baby?"

"For giving me memories like this. I don't know anybody who would have a food fight with me and then want to climb a mountain in the middle of the night to see the galaxies and the sunrise. You're like my own personal adventure," I giggled.

"No need to thank me, Bella. I'm having an amazing time. I want to spent the rest of my life taking you on spontaneous adventures."

He kissed me softly, our lips moving perfectly together, the feeling of bliss showering over me.

Edward and I returned home a little before 8 A.M., offically exhausted. We both stumbled tiredly up the stairs before collapsing into his bed, sleep washing over me in a matter of seconds.

We slept until about 3 P.M., and I worried that our sleep schedule was fucked up now. Oh, well, it was worth it.

Alice and Rosalie decided to drag me along on a shopping trip, against my will. Alice claimed I still had "a lot of work to do" regarding my wardrobe. The three of us paraded around the mall, trying on cute outfits or terrible ones that we wouldn't wear in a million years. I actually was having a great time with them, even though fashion was not exactly an interest of mine.

"Alice, please stop buying me clothes! I see the price tags, and it's too much."

"C'mon, Bella, my parents always let me take their credit card to shop, as long as I keep my grades up and stay out of trouble. I've earned this right, don't take it from me!"

"We smoked weed and drank in their house all weekend, how exactly is that 'staying out of trouble'?" I snorted.

"What Momma doesn't know won't hurt her," she winked.

Alice and Rosalie begged me to follow them into a Victoria's Secret store that was only filled with lingerie. A fucking lot of it.

"Bella, you should get something," Rosalie suggested, smriking suggestively at me.

"What?!" I shrieked, gawking at the endless lingerine in front of us. Every wall was covered in it, stands throughout the entire store littered with matching pieces. The place was packed with girl groups doing the exact thing as us. It felt weird to be a part of the normal society instead of the one I had been trapped in for years.

"You don't even have to wear it specifically for sex. You could just get a sexy bra with matching underwear and wear it under your clothes. It's a great confidence-booster, trust me. Then, whenever you're ready, you can wear it for Edward."

I was rather puzzled, because I have never truly put any thought into having sex with Edward. I just saw it as another reason I'll never be able to let him go, and - obviously - I tend to lose everyone in my life. I couldn't bear that with him. I never really even allowed myself the option of thinking about sex.

But, now that I have, I could see myself in one of these ensambles. Well, actually, I could see Edward ripping one of them off my body...

"Bella?" Alice waved her hand in front of my face, and I realized I had been daydreaming.

"Do you think Jasper would like this?" Alice presented me with a baby-doll pink one-piece lacey outfit. The sides were cutout, leaving just a trail of fabric from the chest to below the belly button. Alice would definitely look amazing in that.

"Absolutely," I chuckled, nodding.

"Are you gonna get anything? Wait, I just realized, I don't want to know. You're dating my brother!"

I laughed, jokingly punching her shoulder. "I may get a matching set of a bra and underwear."

The next day, I decided to be bold and wear my new bra and underwear from Victoria's Secret. I chose a midnight blue ensamble, also made of lace like Alice's. But it was beautiful, and it caught my eye. Simple, yet stunning. I had to admit, it didn't look too terrible on me, and it peeked my confidence ever so slightly. I hoped one day I would be ready to wear this for Edward.

The beginning of the day was terribly boring. The only interesting aspect was Eric Yorkie tripping over Alice's purse in math class, nearly falling before catching himself and scurrying away. We laughed as hard as we could, as quietly as we could. Then, I reminded her why I would never be able to handle one of those death traps.

However, the day became interesting when my name was announced over the intercom to report to the office just as I sat down with Edward and the gang at lunch.

Everyone's eyebrows narrowed in confusion, while I could feel the color leave my face. My first thought was that it had something to do with Phil, and I immediately grew fearful. I didn't know anybody else besides the Cullen's and our friends. That's it.

I tried to calm myself down by thinking that it may be something to do with the school, but I couldn't shake the eerie feeling.

Edward could sense I was panicking. "I'll come with you. C'mon, baby."

He wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me close to him as we left the cafeteria and headed to the office.

"Don't worry, Bella. I'm right here," he cooed in my ear, brushing his lips across my cheek tenderly.

We stepped into the office, where a boy I had never seen before stood, looking at me intensely. His skin was darker, a russet color. He had a head of jet-black hair, the top spiked upwards. His eyes were as dark as his hair. He was handsome, and tall, but kind of menacing for some reason.

He smiled at me, seeming happy. "Hi, Bella, I'm Jacob. Do you know who I am?" His voice was deep and husky.

Jacob? I've never met a Jacob, except for the one in our grade. But, this boy wasn't from our school. I didn't understand how he knew my name, and my heart began to pound because of the confusion.

"No."

"Well, it's a long story. Do you wanna go outside and talk about it?" He gestured his huge thumb towards the window, pointing outside.

I didn't know him, so I wasn't going to go outside alone with him. That would just be stupid. "Sure, but Edward is coming with."

He shrugged, seeming uninterested. "This guy with you? Sure, sure, whatever. C'mon."

Edward and I exchanged weird looks as we followed Jacob outside, sitting on a bench by the office doors. It was rather chilly, Thanksgiving was just around the corner. I hoped this Jacob character made this quick.

"So, who are you, Jacob?" Edward inquired, making sure his arm was wrapped protectively around me at all times.

He took a deep breath before beginning. "Bella, did you know that your stepdad had a sister?"

I knew this had something to do with Phil. I stood up right away, glaring down at him. Who was he? What does he know about me or Phil for that fucking matter? I could feel my breath coming in ragged, uneven pants. The anxiety spread through me quickly, all the hairs on my body standing on end.

"How do you know him?" I seethed. Edward grabbed my arm gently and pulled me back down next to him, rubbing my arm affectionately.

Jacob waved his hand in my face, as if indicating for me to "slow down."

"His sister was my Mom! I had a feeling he wouldn't have even told you or your Mom about her. He hasn't talked to any of our family since before he even met your Mom."

I couldn't believe this. Phil had family that he never told us about. That means this Jacob is... "You're my cousin then," I breathed. I had other family... this was rather mindboggling. I didn't know if it was a good or bad thing. Not biological, but still family.

"Yeah, I am. Ya see, my Mom, well, she died giving birth to me. One night, when I was an infant, Phil was drunk at my house and told my Dad he blamed me for the death of his sister. My Dad forced him out of the house, and Phil never attempted to contact us again. No apologies, nothing. I've never met the guy. But, I heard your story on the news. My Dad couldn't believe it... that Phil had married someone and had a stepdaughter and never told us. I'm so sorry about all of that, by the way. He's a monster, and nobody deserves that." His eyes held sadness.

It was kind of hard to talk about Phil, but Jacob seemed sincere, and I was happy to learn that I had other family. I wish I knew about them sooner, but, now, at this point in my life, I wasn't sure if I even wanted contact with them. I wanted anything regarding Phil put behind me.

"Where do you live?" Edward spoke up.

"Right on La Push Beach, about 30 minutes away. We kind of do our own thing over there, almost like our own little society."

"Oh, I know somebody from La Push. Her name is Leah, if you know her. My sister did gymnastics with her," Edward said.

He chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, she's a hard head. She's my friend Seth's sister."

"So, why are you here now?" I asked, feeling rude for interrupting their conversation, but I just really wanted to get to the point.

"Right when we saw the segment on the news about Phil, my Dad felt terrible and wanted to talk to you, let you know that you have family who is here for you. So, here I am."

I huffed, looking down at the concrete. Edward rubbed my back soothingly, and I could feel Jacob's dark eyes burning into me. He was waiting for me to say something, but I really didn't have much to say. But, then I realized, that these people could help me. They obviously know Phil. They possibly could help figure out where he is.

"Do you know where he could be?" I finally spoke up.

Jacob rubbed the back of his neck in agitation. "That's gonna be tough. My Dad knows who Phil used to be friends with, decades ago. So, he could help you contact them or anything like that. I mean, I know it's a stretch, but anything helps."

"Do you think he's dumb enough to try to come back?"

He shrugged. "I wouldn't think so. He had to have seen the news segment. He knows all the cops anywhere near this area are looking for him. They're even keeping an eye out in La Push. My Dad made sure they would. Even though he's never met you, he cares about you, and he wants Phil put in jail just as much as you do."

I nodded, confirming my agreement. Jacob and I exchanged phone numbers, and we planned to set up a day for me - and Edward, of course - to go to their house and meet his Dad.

He gave me a hug before he left, which was a tad awkward, but a nice gesture. He was unexplicably warm, and his hug wasn't as soothing as Edward's, but it was a comforting hug, nonetheless.

"Are you alright, love?" Edward asked, cupping my face into hands and searching my eyes.

"Yeah, that was just a lot," I mumbled as I hid my face in his chest, inhaling his sweet scent in an effort to calm me down.

He snaked his arms around me tightly, holding my body close to his. "I know. But, this may be a good thing."

We headed back inside, my mind swarmed with thoughts of Phil, and Jacob. I really hoped Jacob and his Dad could help in any way possible. I was growing tired of the fear I lived with, wondering if Phil would come back. The fear that kept me up many nights, the one that made it hard for me to focus on beginning a real, decent life. I could barely do anything anymore without looking over my shoulder, expecting him to be there.

I was just ready for this all to be over.

The following days passed quickly. On Thursday, after school, I found myself in Edward's car, headed to La Push. My heart pounded with the anticipation of meeting Jacob's Dad. From what Jacob said, his Dad seemed really nice and caring, and I hoped he could help. Any information on Phil could help us.

"Are you okay?" The velvety voice pulled me from my deep thoughts. I forced a smile in Edward's direction, noticing the worried look in his green eyes.

"Just nervous."

"Don't be, baby. I'm right here with you, always. If it becomes too much, or they upset you at all, just say the word and we'll leave right away. I don't want you to be uncomfortable or upset at all."

I smiled grimly, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. He kissed my knuckles softly.

A few minutes later, the GPS on Edward's phone alerted us that the house was a few hundred feet to the right. We pulled into the stone driveway. The house was tiny, and fire-engine red. A small, matching garage sat on the side of the house. Car parts littered the lawn surrounding the garage.

Jacob immediately came out of the house, a huge smile planted on his face. He seemed rather excited. He was dressed in a plain white t-shirt and jean shorts, even though it was mid-November.

"Hey, guys, come on in," he waved us inside as we got out of the car. Edward grabbed my hand and rubbed it with his thumb, smiling in encouragement. I took a deep breath and followed Jacob inside.

The door led to a tiny kitchen, where a man sat in a wheelchair at the table. He had incredibly long, dark hair - longer than mine - and wore a sad smile. His clothes were a bit tattered, and he smelled of beer and a bonfire.

"Ah, you must be Bella. I'm very happy to meet you, I'm Billy." He took both my hands in his as I sat next to him, Edward pulling out a chair next to me. His voice was gruff, just like his son's. Jacob prepared waters and a tray of crackers and cheese, setting it in front of us before sitting down next to his father.

"Nice to meet you, too. This is my boyfriend, Edward."

He shook Edward's hand, but didn't say much to him. His dark eyes turned back to me, a serious look written in them.

"Bella, I... I'm so sorry for everything that has happened to you these past few years. I was never very fond of Phil, but learning that he behaved that way... that was a shock."

I didn't want to talk about what Phil did to me. I just wanted as much information as possible.

"How long have you known him?"

He took a sip of water before continuing. "Well, I met his sister 20 years ago. We casually dated for a bit, but a few months later, once we were serious, I met her family. Phil was nice at first, we got along fairly well. But, after joining the police academy and then being swarn into the force, he changed. He became very selfish and demanding. Irina - his sister - grew tired of it, and they slowly became more and more distant. Her and I never married, so he didn't have very kind words to me about getting her pregnant with Jacob. It broke my heart when she passed, and I expected Phil to be a bit gentler towards us, but his feelings towards Jacob pushed me over the edge. I told him the only reason I tolerated him was for Irina, but, now that she was gone, I didn't want anything to do with him. Haven't heard from him since."

I nodded, taking it all in. I wasn't a bit surprised to hear his story and the way Phil behaved towards them, even decades ago.

"I'm sorry about Irina. I would have loved to meet her."

He smiled, but it didn't touch his eyes. They remained cold, distant. "Yes, she would have felt the same. I have some questions for you, as well. How long ago did Phil meet your mother?"

"10 years ago."

"Ah, so many years after I have spoken to him last."

"Do you have any information at all about him? Any of his old friends that you can remember? Or, even anything about his parents? I'm not even sure if they are alive. Last time I checked, before my Mom passed, his Dad was still alive. I've never met him, though."

"His father died about 2 years ago."

I took a sip of water, debating my next move. I didn't want this trip to La Push to be for nothing.

"Where do you think he ran off to?" Edward spoke up for the first time since we got here. His hand stayed grasped in mine under the table, a silent reminder that he was always there.

"We think he went out of state, since the story on the news only played around here in Washington," Jacob commented, biting hungrily into the cheese and cracker in his hand. He was the only one eating the food he'd prepared.

"Yes, but it's been about a month since his disappearance. He could be anywhere in the country, or the world, for that matter," Billy said.

"How about any old friends?" I repeated the same question from earlier.

"I've already contacted all the ones I could think of within the past couple days, since you've met Jacob. None of them know a thing. I'm sorry, Bella. I know you came here looking for answers. But, your guess is just as good as mine regarding his whereabouts. I mostly invited you here just so you could meet other family, so you could see that you're not alone, and that we're willing to help in any way possible."

I crossed my arms against my chest, internally fuming. I appreciated their gesture, but I had all the family I needed with the Cullen's. Billy and Jacob were a bit too late. All I wanted at this point was answers.

"Well, thanks for trying," I grumbled dejectedly, staring out the window at the heavy rain.

"We will keep trying. If we hear anything else, I will be sure to call you right away," Billy smiled.

"Do you guys wanna stay for dinner? I'm making spaghetti, and it' gonna be kick-ass," Jacob offered.

"Thank you, but I have a lot of homework to catch up on."

Edward and I left after promising Billy and Jacob to keep in touch.

"I'm sorry you left without answers, love," Edward sighed as he drove slowly in the turrential downpour. His voice held sadness.

"Don't be."

"I just know this is hard on you, knowing he is out there. But, don't give up hope just yet."

The rest of the ride was silent. I kept my eyes out the window, trying to swallow the disappointment. I had far too much hope in Jacob and Billy, but I was crushed to learn that they knew just as much as I did: fucking nothing. However, I was glad they were at least trying to get to know me and help me. I made a mental note to definitely keep in contact with them.

"How'd it go?" Carlisle asked as we shuffled inside, hanging our wet coats on the hook in the mudroom.

"They were kind, but they don't know a thing about where Phil could be. They said they will keep trying, though," Edward informed his Dad.

Carlisle lightly patted my back, showing comfort. "I'm sorry, Bella. They'll find him, no worries." His smile was tight.

"Thank you, Carlisle. If you'll all excuse me, I think I'm going to go upstairs and take a nap. I'm drained."

Edward looked at me, questioning with his eyes if I was alright. I smiled, letting him know I was okay. I just wanted to be alone, I didn't want him to see me cry.

Once I was comfortable in my bed, I let the tears fall as hard as they wanted. I was growing so fucking sick and tired of living in fear, of always looking behind my back, making sure Phil wasn't lurking there in the shadows. I wanted to be entirely free from him. Not just physically, but mentally, as well. I was beginning to fear that that day would never come. I may always live my life wondering where he is, wondering when he will finally make his dreaded move and attack.

I'm not sure how long I was crying. At some point, I heard my door open and then shut before someone crawled into bed with me. My senses were suddenly alive, and I knew it was Edward when I smelled his beautiful scent.

"Shhh, my love, don't cry, it will be okay," he soothed as he gathered me in his arms. I hid my face in the crook of his neck and continued to cry, the hopelessness washing over me.

"I'm here, baby, I'm right here. Always. He will never hurt you again, I promise. Please don't cry, it breaks my heart."

"I just don't know how much more of this I can handle," I hiccuped against his warm skin. He kissed the top of my head numerous times, and I couldn't help but smile.

"I know. But, I don't want you to allow him to keep ruining your life. Whether or not he's caught, you're still free. He's not going to hurt you ever again. Please, Bella, live life to the fullest now. You deserve it. I want to see you as happy as posisble."

I nodded. "I know. I'm trying."

"I know that. Just don't give up."

"I love you," I reminded him.

"I love you, too."

We were silent for a few minutes while my crying subsided and finally came to an end. I sighed, tired in so many different ways.

"Bella," he muttered softly. "Have I taken you on an official date yet?"

"In my eyes, you have."

He chuckled. "No, I mean one that requires fancy clothes and planning."

"Then, no. Why?"

"I think it's about time I do. It would be the perfect way to get your mind off of him, and to allow you to have some fun. What do you say? Tomorrow night? Can I take you out?"

I suddenly grew nervous. I have never been on an actual date. I can't even remember the last time I even wore fancy clothes. Would I make a complete fool of myself? What if I didn't look good? What if I wasn't what Edward expected?

"Unless you don't want to," he mumbled dejectedly.

I pecked his neck softly. "Of course I want to. I just never have."

"It's not like there's rules to it, love," he teased. "It's just spending time with me, like you always do."

I giggled. "Okay, I think I can do that. I just don't think I have anything fancy to wear."

Edward suddenly threw the blanket completely over us, even covering our heads. I looked up at him in confusion.

"Shhhh, she might hear us!"

"What are you talking about?!"

"Alice! If you mention anything regarding not having anything to wear, she'll drag you on a shopping spree so large, you'll end up spending the rest of the year in the mall."

I was laughing loudly. "She's not that bad."

He looked at me with wide eyes as he uncovered our heads. "Trust me on this one, Bella."

"Well, maybe she has something I can wear. I'll go ask." He stayed in my bed, calling "good luck!"

Alice's bedroom door was open. She was seated at her desk, doing homework, listening to music softly in the background. I rapped on the side of the door frame a few times before entering and plopping on her bed.

"What's up, Bella?" She inquired, her eyes stayed trained on her worksheet.

"Well, Edward wants to take me on a nice date tomorrow night. Do you possibly have anything I could wear?"

She swiftly turned around in her desk chair, excitement booming in her blue eyes. She smiled widely. "Fuck my closet, Bella. We need to go shopping, and get you a brand new, beautiful outfit! I can also find matching shoes, and jewelry, and we can even get our nails done..." she continued her mental list, and I berated myself for not listening to Edward. How could I think he didn't know his twin sister so well?

"Alice, I don't need all that!" I halted her.

She scowled. "Of course you do! It's your first date, and Edward loves you enough to make it a good one. You have to look perfect! I'll convince my Mom to let us skip school tomorrow, so we can go to the big mall in Seattle and get everyting we need."

I was about to protest, but she flew out the door and down the stairs, yelling for Esme. I didn't think she would let us skip school, but after Alice's very convincing speech about me finally having a normal life, and this date being insanely important for Edward and me's relationship, Esme caved in. I couldn't fucking believe it. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

"We're here! I can't wait!" Alice squealed as she parked her car in the huge parking lot. I couldn't fucking believe the size of this mall. I was bound to get lost in this shit.

Alice woke me up at 7 AM, already throwing orders in my face. She wanted me to be ready to leave by 8, so we could get to Seattle by 10. We arrived accordingly, which I was thankful for. I didn't want to see the way she reacted to being late for a shopping trip.

She legitimately wrote a schedule in her phone. "Okay, we should be done dress shopping by at least noon. Then, we can get our nails done until 1. From 1-1:30, we will look for jewlery. From 1:30-2:30, we will look for shoes. Then, we can expect to be home before 5. That gives me about 2 hours to do your hair and makeup."

Alice began throwing many different dresses at me, ranging in colors and styles. I must have tried on at least 15 until her eyes finally lightened up and she clapped loudly after I walked out of the dressing room in a deep red dress that ended a few inches above the knee. It was bodycon - very tight, with spaghetti straps. It was simple, yet beautiful. I had to agree that it looked great.

"Damn, Bella, you look sexy in that! Edward is gonna lose his shit," she giggled. "That's definitely the one. If I liked girls, I would be all over you right now."

"If I liked girls, so would I," a flamboyant employee of the store added. He was tall, and didn't really look gay, but he definitely sounded the part.

"You guys think so?" I asked timidly.

"Yes!" They both sang in unison.

We ended up finding the dress ahead of schedule, which Alice was extremely thrilled about, since it allowed for more time for everything else on the schedule. I still couldn't believe Edward gave her his debit card for the shopping trip.

"How could Edward afford all this? He doesn't even have a job," I huffed, hating that he spent money on me.

"Well, our Grandpa left Edward and I a good amount of money when he passed. We just got access to it when we turned 18." She said casually as we entered the nail salon.

"How much?" I mentally slapped myself after asking that question. I wasn't intending to be rude, or make it seem as though I was with Edward for his money.

She laughed. "Let's just say, it's not necessary for Edward and I to find jobs for a very, very long time. But, our parents raised us to work for ourselves and not depend on others. I don't know what Edward plans to do with his share of the money, but I'm going to spend mine on college, and probably save the rest, at least for a while."

"What did your grandpa do?"

"He owned a company that produced steel and sold it to construction companies. He was the biggest steel producer in the state during his time."

I couldn't even imagine how much money was left behind for them. It kind of made me want to get a job, so I could at least start building a savings of my own.

Since my dress was red, Alice declared my nails needed to be, as well. After leaving the nail salon, we went to a tiny boutique and found the perfect silver rhinestone necklace. Alice and I had a bit of a disagreement about the shoes. She wanted to put me in huge heels, ones that would probably make me taller than Edward. After arguing - and, frankly, causing a scene - we agreed on smaller heels. They were black and simple, and I actually kind of liked them. They were the perfect size, but I still feared I would fall numerous times throughout the night.

We arrived home at 4:00, ahead of schedule. Alice still all but sprinted inside, acting as if we were late.

"Hi, baby, how was your day?" Edward immediately engulfed me in his arms as I entered the house. I dropped my bags onto the floor, wrapping my arms around his neck and breathing in his scent. This was home.

"It was alright. As crazy as she can be, she really cares." I kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Yes, her intentions are great. Execution... not so much," he laughed.

"Bella! Upstairs, now!" Alice demanded, her voice echoing throughout the giant house. I quirked an eyebrow at Edward and gave him one more kiss before heading into her room.

After I took a shower, Alice began attacking my hair with a big curling rod. I trusted her not to burn me, but I've never used one of these in my life. It was rather terrifying. She played music on her surround sound, singing loudly and happily along with the pop tunes. I stayed quiet, my thoughts trained on the fact that I was actually going on a date.

When she was almost finished with my hair, her phone began to ring.

"What, Edward?" She huffed, and I wondered what he needed.

"Uh huh... oh, maybe... yeah... I'll ask her. Bella, Edward wants to know if you would be okay with staying overnight in a hotel that he loves. He said not to worry, he doesn't expect anything out of you at all." I knew she was talking about sex, and my cheeks immediately flushed with embarrassment. To be honest, I have been putting a lot of thought lately into turning my relationship with Edward into a physical one, especially after his speech last night regarding me living life to the fullest. I loved him, unconditionally, and I felt that I should show him my love for him in all forms. It scared the hell out of me, but I was ready. I trusted him. I fucking love him.

"That sounds nice," I muttered. "Will your parents be mad?"

Alice told Edward I was on board before she hung up the phone and went back to finishing my hair. "Well, I'm spending the night at Jasper and Rosalie's, anyway. You and Edward can just pretend you're sleeping there, too." I didn't want to lie to Carlisle and Esme, especially after everything they've done for me this past month, but I really wanted to spend the night alone with Edward.

She began applying my makeup, informing me what she was doing the whole time. I smiled at her enthusiasm. Once she was finished, she told me I couldn't look in the mirror before the dress was on. After getting changed into everything we bought today, I looked in the mirror and gasped.

My hair was curled into big, bouncy waves that ran beautifully down my back. She even sprayed something in my hair to make it look shiny. She gave me a bit of a smokey eye, adding some bronzer to my cheekbones and a dark red lipstick that matched my dress. I looked... beautiful. Happy. Confident. Free.

"Alice, I look amazing! Thank you so much, for everything," I hugged her fiercely. She giggled and hugged me back.

"No problem. You're my new sister now, and I love you with Edward. Whatever I can do to make your relationship with him even better, I'll do. Now, I have to go pack your overnight bag. I know what you'll need."

I called after her to pack the matching bra and underwear I got at Victoria's Secret the other day. She smirked and asked "are you sure? You don't have to, Bella. He doesn't expect anything like that from you."

"I'm 100% sure, I promise."

She squealed and ran into my room as I stayed in her room, thinking about how lucky I was and how much has changed in my life in just one short month.

She returned about 10 minutes later, and I could hear Edward's voice following her.

"Okay, Edward, here's your gorgeous date!" Edward entered the room and his eyes immediately bugged out of his head, his jaw dropping to the floor. His eyes raked my body up and down numerous times before he even spoke. "Bella... wow. You, wow, you look so beautiful."

I blushed and looked down at my feet. He walked over to me and placed his hands on my waist, looking intensely into my eyes. "I mean it. You look so amazing, it almost hurts. I seriously can't believe you're all mine."

"I could say the same," I breathed as I took in his appearance. He was dressed in all black: a long-sleeved, button-up shirt with slacks and dress shoes. He looked so incredibly sexy, that I couldn't believe he was mine.

"Are you ready to go, love?"

"Yes," I smiled.

"Bella, you look so lovely!" Esme chirped as she gathered me in a warm, motherly hug. I loved when she did this, it reminded me of Mom.

After informing Edward's parents of our plans to stay at "Rosalie and Jasper's" after our date, we were headed to Edward's Volvo, speeding down the driveway.

(A/N): The location of the date and hotel are fictional and do not exist in Washington. Just wanted to clarify that :)

"You really won't tell me where we're going?" I grumbled.

He kissed the back of my hand slowly. "Nope. It's not too far, about 30 minutes from here. Do you want to smoke this on the way? I want you to be as relaxed as possible, and I've noticed that smoking calms you down."

He pulled an odd device from his pocket. It looked like a pen, and had a mouthpiece on one end. "What is that?"

"Have you ever heard of dabs?"

"No."

"Well, dabs are weed, just a different form. It's oil-based. This is a dab pen, it's electronic, just like those e-cigarettes. You see the gold stuff at the top, by the mouthpiece? That's all dabs. They're more intense than the regular weed, so you'll only need 1 or 2 hits. The good thing about this is that it doesn't smell, at all. I sometimes smoke it in my bedroom when my parents are home and they don't even know. It's really convenient."

I figured it would help, since my nerves were all over the place because of my first date and also the possibility of losing my virginity tonight. I took it out of Edward's hand and inhaled.

He was right. This thing was intense. I was insanely high after one hit, but I could feel my heart rate slow down, my anxiety crumbling. I actually felt relaxed, and I sang softly to the music playing from the stereo as we drove.

Edward took a few more hits than I did, and soon we were pulling up to a fancy-looking restaurant. I could see the ocean in the distance.

"Where are we?"

He smiled. "Clarion, a few towns over from La Push. It's a beach town."

I couldn't believe the size of this restaurant, and I mentally thanked Alice for assuring that I was appropriately prepared.

He opened the passenger door for me and placed his hand on the small of my back as we entered the restaurant.

"You really look ravishing, baby," he purred in my ear, his voice husky and deep. I shivered at the sound, and my sex thrilled with anticipation.

"Good evening, welcome to 'The Chalet', do you have a reservation?"

"Yes, under Cullen."

"Yes, right this way."

We were lead to a private table at the very far corner of the restaurant, near a wall that was made entirely of glass. The ocean was right next to us, since the restaurant was placed on the beach. It was raining, of course, but it made it that much cozier. A large candle was lit in the center of our table, our glasses already prepared with ice water. Edward pulled my chair out for me and removed my coat before sitting across from me.

He flashed me his crooken grin, dazzling me. "What do you think?"

"This is incredible. I love that the ocean is right outside the window. I haven't seen it in years. It's perfect, Edward." I reached for his hand across the table, squeezing it to show my appreciation for everything he constantly does for me.

"I'm glad you like it. I just want you to be happy."

After ordering 2 steaks with potatoes and salad on the side, the stoned part of our brains kicked into place. We ended up playing a sort of game all night, making up scenarios for the people's lives near us.

Edward pointed to a middle-aged woman next to us, who was so thin, she almost looked frail. "Denise, 52. Can't go a day without hot yoga. Hasn't had a carb since 2008. Makes crafts and sells them online for a living."

I giggled, gesturing to her husband. He was short, but insanely stocky. "Craig, 59. Wrestling coach. Yells so much that the players cry when they get home. Has a dog named Hercules. Drinks kale protein shakes at 5 in the morning."

Edward began cracking up, and we had to duck our heads before someone noticed. We were having so much fun that I couldn't believe I was nervous at all.

He payed for the bill and left the restaurant, laughing the whole way. Edward made sure to pick up a big piece of chocolate cheesecake to bring back to the hotel.

If the restaurant was impressive, there were no words for the hotel. It was just a few miles away, also seated on the shore. It was insanely tall, with a beautiful fountain towering in front of the parking lot. I could see an indoor pool and hot tubs set up in the back of the building, facing the ocean.

"Edward..." I gasped, amazed at the sight in front of me.

I couldn't even form a sentence as we walked inside. Our room was even better. It was on the top floor, a balcony sat outside facing the ocean. There was a tiny kitchen upon entering, with beautiful black marble countertops and stainless steel appliances. Behind the kitchen was a king-sized bed on the left wall, adorned in a champagne-gold comforter. A hefty TV was on the other wall, with a door to the bathroom next to it. The bathroom held a massive tub with jets and built-in chairs. I couldn't believe Edward went to the lengths to do this all for me. I felt tears welling in my eyes.

"What's wrong, love?" He sounded upset, regretful almost. I immediately shook my head, needing him to understand that he did nothing wrong. That he was absolutely amazing.

"Nothing, Edward. This is just so perfect. Nobody has ever done anything like this for me. Thank you so much," I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. Our tongues danced together, our hands roaming each other's backs slowly. Every part of me was on fire.

He slowly pulled away and kissed my forehead before muttering that he wanted to get settled. I thought that was a perfect time to change.

Alice packed me a silky black robe to go over the lingerie, which I was insanely grateful for. I went into the bathroom and told Edward I was going to change. I wanted to surprise him.

"Okay, I'll pour us some drinks." He pulled out a fancy dark wine from his overnight bag. I quirked a brow. "Where did you get that?"

"My Mom has built sort of a collection, but she doesn't drink it too often. Don't worry, she won't notice. I've done it before."

I shrugged and continued to the bathroom. My heart pounded heavily in my chest the entire time I changed, thinking of what was about to happen. I have never trusted a man so much in my life, and it scared me to death, but it made me feel so fucking alive. I was ready to completely give myself to Edward.

I took a deep breath before I exited the bathroom. He was outside on the balcony, smoking his pen and sipping wine. I quickly shrugged into my jacket before joining him.

He smiled at me before looking back out to the ocean, offering me a sip of his wine and his pen. I took them both graciously.

The wine was disgusting. So bitter, but I guess it was something I'd have to get used to.

"I love you so much, Bella. I truly do, and I want you to know that I always will. You make me so happy." Each and every one of his words sounded so sincere, so pure. There was no denying the truth behind them. I couldn't help but feel every ounce of sadness or anxiety float out of me and into the air, disappearing into the waves crashing just below us. There was just no possible way I could feel anything negative in that moment. Edward always took it all away. Kind of like how he took my heart.

"I love you more. Thank you for everything you do. You've brought me back to life," I whispered as I threw my arms around him, needing his body as close to mine as possible. He returned the gesutre, pressing me tightly against him. He rested his cheek on my head, sighing in contentment.

We took a couple hits and finished one glass of wine together before going back inside. Edward poured another glass before lighting some candles he had brought and hopping onto the bed, turning on the TV.

I took off my jacket, revealing my tiny silk robe. That got Edward's attention.

"Bella... wow. You keep amazing me more and more," he set his drink down on the bedside table, running his hands through his hair as his eyes ran up and down my body.

I slowly untied the robe, letting it fall to the ground as my cheeks blushed scarlet.

He groaned, lust flickering in his eyes. "Jesus Christ, baby, you're so perfect. Come here."

I slowly joined him on the bed. His eyes continued to run laps up and down my frame, a lazy smile planted on his face.

He grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me, hard. He slowly lowered me onto the bed, resting on top of me with his elbows. We made out passionately, so wonderfully that I was getting incredibly wet.

He let go of my face with one hand and slowly ran his fingers up and down my stomach. I shivered at the contact, moaning softly in his mouth.

He pulled away, frowning. I could feel the slap of rejection hit me in the face. Maybe Edward didn't want me the way I wanted him.

"Bella, we can't."

I felt tears stinging my eyes. I looked down at my hands, hiding from him, the pain settling quickly into my system.

"You think I don't want to? That's ridiculous. The way you look right now... God, Bella, you're so fucking sexy. I want you so much. But, I cant push you. I want you to be sure you're ready."

"I am sure," I swallowed.

"Have you really thought about it? Please be honest, Bella. I don't want you to regret it."

"I'm sure, I promise."

"Pinky promise?"

I offered him my pinky, smiling shyly. He hooked his against it before crashing his lips to mine, yet again. His hand massaged my breasts over my bra, softly pinching my nipple here and there, sending the sweetest of vibrations through my body. I could feel the wetness building up in my underwear with every milisecond that passed. I was beginning to breathe heavily, the sensation so sweet. His hands felt amazing against my skin. I never wanted him to stop.

He began kissing and nibbling my neck, and I couldn't help but moan his name loudly into the room.

"Touch me," I whimpered softly. He groaned against my neck before putting his hands behind me and lifting me up, so we were both in a sitting position. He kept his hands behind me and took my bra off for me. I watched as his eyes trailed down to my bare chest, lust screaming in his green orbs. He smiled widely, running his hands through his hair.

"You're so gorgeous, Bella. Like a work of art. Thank you for being all mine," he whispered before laying me down on my back again and taking my left breast into his mouth, sucking my nipple tenderly. His right hand began rubbing my clit over my underwear, and I hissed in pleasure, arching my back to meet his hand even further. My entire body was on fire - in such a fucking good way.

"That feels so good," I sighed in contentment. He lifted my legs and removed my underwear, never taking his eyes off me. There were so many emotions in his eyes in that moment. Desire. Lust. Happiness. Pleasure. Love. I couldn't believe it was all for me.

He placed a trail of slow, hot kisses from my breasts to just before my clit, leaving a trail of tingles in his wake. He looked into my eyes as his tongue carefully graced my clit. I threw my head back, my eyes rolling to the back of my head in sheer pleasure. It felt so fucking good, I never imagined it could be so incredible.

He slowly put 1 finger in my entrance as he simultaneously licked and sucked my clit. I rocked my hips against him, moaning loudly.

"Yes, Edward, oh my god," I moaned. He kept a steady pace, taking it easy. He slowly entered a second finger, and it hurt for a second, but he kept me preoccuppied by continuing his oral assault on my clit. I told him it was okay, and he began fingering me again. Feelings of ecstacy ran through me from head to toe. After a few moments, I could feel my first orgasm approaching. My walls suddenly clamped down around him, my vagina throbbing in sheer pleasure. I moaned the entire time, the sensation so raw. It was absolutely amazing, better than I ever expected, and I was already dying for more. And we just got started.

He brought his lips back to mine after I was done climaxing in a kiss that was hungry and wild. Almost primal. Our tongues swam laps around each other's, our hands roaming up and down each other's bodies, needing to feel every milimeter of skin. I instructed him to lay on his back, so I was on top. We continued kissing so intensely, every aspect of my being was in flames. I don't think I even could remember my name in that moment.

He rubbed his hands up and down my lower back and my behind as I began nibbling and sucking his neck. He hissed in pleasure, squeezing my ass cheeks. I smiled against his neck and began kissing lower and lower down his body. His soft skin felt so perfect against my swollen lips. Each muscle tensed under my kiss, flexing in ecstacy.

By the time I reached his belly button, he realized where I was headed. "Bella, you don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with."

"I want to. No - I need to. I'm dying to," I smirked before taking his pants off. I slowly took off his boxers, revealing his incredibly hard, big manhood. I felt myself blush, and his eyes never left mine. His cock was so beautiful to look at. I grew even wetter at the sight of it, my vagina throbbing in impatience. And he said I was the work of art? I was nothing compared to his gorgeous member.

I thanked God for those few times I watched porn a few years ago when curiosity struck me. I began rubbing his shaft, and he threw his head back on the pillows, groaning loudly. I slowly lowered my lips onto his tip, massaging him with my lips.

"Fuck, baby," he exclaimed. He grabbed my hair in one hand so he could watch me. I looked him in the eye from under my lashes as I sucked. He gazed back at me with a look I've never seen before. Like he could devour me any second - in a good way. I sucked his cock for a few minutes before he slowly got up and wrapped his arms around me, swiftly laying me back on the mattress. I watched his muscles move in his arm, the sight a turn on itself. He grabbed a condom from his wallet and wrapped it around his cock, wearing a smile of euphoria the whole time.

"Are you sure, love?"

I nodded, preparing myself. I've heard the first time hurts terribly, but me and pain are close friends. We know each other very well.

Edward began kissing me tenderly. Just as we was about to push himself into me, he brought his face inches from mine, looking deeply into my eyes. He lightly brushed his thumb across my cheek. The light from the candles reflected softly off his skin, a bit of sweat builiding at his hairline. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes wild with bliss. "I promise, for the rest of my life, you will be the only one. I love you," he declared before entering me. I gasped in pain, feeling myself widen tremedously. He attempted to distract me by placing tiny kisses all over my face, whispering about how much I mean to him.

The pain subsided after a few minutes, and I told him it was okay to continue. He slowly rocked back and forth inside me, and it finally began to feel good. He picked up the pace when he realized that I was enjoying it. He sucked the spot below my earlobe as he penetrated me. I couldn't believe how amazing it felt, how much love was lingering in the air around us. I've obviously heard that sex was enjoyable, but I never imagined it to be this beautiful. That moment was all that mattered to me. Edward and I showing each other how much love we feel. I wanted to cry at the intensity of it.

I felt my climax approaching quickly with every second that he rubbed against my g-spot. "I'm gonna cum, fuck, Edward."

"Go ahead and cum for me, baby, cum for me," he grunted. I felt my walls crash again, and I began moaning insanely loudly in ecstacy. He finished a few seconds after me, his voice deep as he said my name.

We collapsed next to each other, panting, looking up at the ceiling. My legs nearly shook in pain and pleasure simultaneously.

After about a minute, he propped himself up on his elbow, turning towards me. He wore a giant smile on his face, dazzling me, yet again.

"That was honestly the best moment of my life," he said, and I could hear the honesty ringing in his velvety voice.

I smiled, running my fingers through his thick locks, feeling the softness against my fingertips. "Mine, too."


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: hey guys! I want to explain some things for a moment. I understand some of you having concern about the weed and alcohol. I promise, it will not be a part of the story for much longer. It is my way of trying to make the story realistic, since teenagers do dumb stuff like that. It will be included in this chapter. (This chapter is kind of a filler). Next chapter is where many things will change! Be ready!

disclaimer: I do not i own twilight!

EPOV:

I was having a tremendously difficult time focusing on attempting to find a movie for Bella and I to watch. It was simply impossible for my mind to stray away from what had just happened.

Bella was a fucking goddess, in every way, shape and form. I couldn't believe what was actually standing in front of me when she dropped that black robe, revealing her lacey midnight-blue ensamble. The color contrasted against her skin so delicately, making her glow. Her smile was timid, but seductive all at once. Her soft eyes were drowning with lust as she gazed at me. Her cheeks rosy from the November wind on the shoreline. My heart nearly burst out of my chest at the sight of her. I could nearly cum just looking at her. And she was all fucking mine.

She made love to me so... perfectly. I couldn't even find the right word to describe how fucking amazing it was. I have never had sex nearly that fantastic in my life, and I was convinced it was because I had never been in love. Bella was truly the one for me, there was not a doubt in my mind about it. I will spend the rest of my life taking care of her, protecting her, cherishing her.

"Have you decided on anything yet?" She chimed as she plopped next to me on the bed after refilling her glass with a bit of wine and grabbing the cheesecake from the restaurant. She'd changed into cotton shorts and a black tank top, still looking as sexy as ever.

"I think it's Harry Potter weekend, do you wanna watch that?" I offered.

"Oh!" She squealed, clapping her hands in excitement. "I would love to."

The 5th movie of the series happened to be on TV at the moment, which was my least favorite. However, if it made Bella happy, I was all for it.

I pulled her into my arms and crushed my lips to hers. Just being near her drove me insane. I wanted to taste her at all times.

She giggled when she pulled away. "I'll never get used to that."

"Mmm, me neither," I breathed before kissing along her neck, causing her to whimper softly.

We spent the next 2 hours finishing the cheesecake and sipping wine, our focus on the movie. We held serious debates on different aspects of the movie, our discussions getting heated - in a fun way.

Bella snuggled into my side and I could see her eyelids begin to drop. I kissed her forehead before turning off the TV and wrapping the blanket around the both of us.

"I love you, baby," I whispered in her ear before shutting off the light and drifting to a deep sleep.

Bella and I slept very late the next day, nearly until noon. It was just impossible to end the moment. Tangled up in each other's arms, the soft sheets keeping our bodies united underneath. The waves softly crashed outside, the seagulls chirping with excitement all around.

I opened my eyes, just admiring her in all her glory. Her lips were slightly pursed, her hair thrown about in all different directions. I smiled and lightly stroked my fingers across the subtle trail of freckles sprinkled around her nose. She batted her thick lashes before slowly opening her eyes, love and happiness immediately present in them upon looking at me.

I found my other hand slowly twirling a strand of her hair through its fingers, marveling in the silkiness. The familiar scent of strawberries buzzed around my nose. This is home.

"Good morning, my love," I mumbled before kissing the tip of her nose. She smiled and buried her face against my chest, something I could never get enough of. It was adorable. I felt her eyelashes flutter against my skin and chuckled.

"Good morning," she breathed into my neck, her sweet breath fanning across my skin and making my hairs stand on end. The effect she constantly had on me was truly astounding.

"Would you like to go for a morning swim in the indoor pool?"

"Did Alice pack me a swimsuit? I don't even own my own."

"Yes, she said she packed you one that she's never worn, it doesn't fit her."

She smiled and nodded before trailing her fingers back and forth across my stomach, gazing into my eyes. She looked so radiant, so happy. I smiled before leaning forward and peppering her collarbone with tiny kisses. Her hand found its way onto my scalp, massaging it tenderly as I assaulted her neck with my mouth. I kissed her skin slowly, running my tongue lightly across, tasting her sweetness. She moaned at the sensation I left, arching her back a smidge. I smiled against her before crashing my lips to hers forcefully, showing her how much I desire her. Our hands began running laps up and down each other's bodies as our tongues battled for dominance. My cock grew hard instantly, loving everything about this woman.

"Bella," I groaned. I really wanted to make love to her again, but I didn't want to push her. She could be sore, or not ready to do it again so soon.

"What?" She grinned before dancing her fingers just below my belly button. She was teasing me.

She reached forward and kissed across my jawline. My breathing became ragged. Maybe she does want to do it, too.

I decided to take it up a notch, reminding myself to pay attention to her actions. I would only continue if she was willing. She was progressing so much mentally, and I didn't want to ruin that at all.

I kissed her again, hard, before slowly fanning my fingers down her belly button and to her pussy. Her breathing grew uneven and loud.

"Say the word and I'm yours again, baby," I whispered in her ear.

"Touch me, Edward," she moaned in such a sexy way, my cock throbbed with anticipation. I sucked her neck as I rubbed my fingers against her clit softly. Her skin was so soft, so delicate under my touch. She hissed in pleasure, scratching her fingernails across my bare back. I kept a steady rythym as I rubbed her, and she rocked her hips against my hand. Her skin was becoming hot, leaving my lips warm where they stayed against her neck. Her pussy felt so good against my hand, like it belonged there.

I gently entered two fingers inside her, nearly cumming at the amount of wetness. My fingers were absolutely covered in her juices, indicating that I was really pleasing her. I smiled, feeling pride as I rubbed my fingers in and out of her.

"Ah, Edward, that feels amazing... oh, my God! Keep going, yes, Edward, yes..." her sweet voice yelling for me was something I would never get tired of. I felt her walls begin to clamp around my hand before they collapsed. She moaned continuously, her wetness completely drenching my fingers.

"I could watch you cum for me all day, baby, you're so breathtaking," I whispered in her ear before taking her earlobe into my mouth, sucking with force. She groaned as she reached into my boxers and began massaging my cock, sending vibrations throughout my body. She touched me so perfectly, her soft hands around my shaft so amazing. I lived for the sight of the lust in her eyes when she looked at my cock.

She took my cock in her mouth suddenly, and I chirped my appreciation as I watched her full lips wrap around my shaft, rubbing me quickly. She brought her big brown eyes up to meet mine, gazing at me huskily while she sucked me off. Her brown orbs were on fire with passion. I could see the sexual desire burning in them. I couldn't get over how fucking hot she looked when she looked me in the eye while her mouth claimed me.

I quickly sat up and put her on her stomach, the desire to take her from behind so strong. She willingly arched her back for me, and I placed a few slow, hot kisses on her luscious, firm ass before entering her. I kissed up and down the length of her back as I fucked her, listening to her cries of pleasure fan out all around us. I loved the way her ass naturally bounced when I hit it with my hips. Her body was so fucking gorgeous, I have never been with anyone nearly this delicious.

She came rather quickly, yelling my name as I reached up and played with her nipples, continuing to pound into her. After a few more minutes, she began to cum again, and I couldn't hold it in any longer as I busted inside of her.

I pulled the condom off as she flipped onto her back, so she could look into my eyes. She was wearing a prideful smile, her hair sticking up from the static electricity. I didn't need anything else in this world, but the beauty of this woman.

"I'll never get used to that," I groaned as I cupped her tiny face in my hands and kissed her softly. I felt her smile against my lips, and I knew I was the luckiest fucker in this world.

Bella and I returned home later that day, the smiles on our faces so bright the sun would be jealous. We ate dinner with the family, and Alice kept sending us knowing smirks. Did we really make it that obvious? Probably. But I couldn't bring myself to care. After dinner, Bella went upstairs to write. She had a twinkle in her eye, and I knew her entry would be positive, something that wasn't often, but not unusual as of late.

I gave her some privacy and decided to play some video games to pass the time. After about an hour, I got bored and decided to annoy her.

I knocked on her bedroom door, and she yelled for me to come in. She was seated at her desk, smiling at me. She'd changed into black shorts and a white tank top, her hair piled into a messy bun on the top of her head, small tednrils dangling softly around her face. She was so gorgeous, so naturally. I was constantly dumbfounded by her beauty.

"I missed you," I chuckled, sitting on her bed. She giggled, coming to stand in front of me. I plaed my hands on her waist while she wrapped hers around my neck, playing absentmindedly with the little hairs on the back of my neck.

"How's the writing?"

"Better than ever," she mumbled before smiling and leaning in to kiss me. I moved my lips against hers with a sudden urgence - a burn of desire trailing through me.

"Mmm," I sighed as we pulled away. I pulled her onto the bed with me and began showering her jaw and neck with hot kisses. She breathed heavily, wrapping her legs around my waist, pulling me closer.

"Edward," she panted. "Everyone is home."

"Just act like they're not."

"I can't just do that," she chuckled, pushing me away.

I ran my hands through my hair. "I'm sorry. You're far too irresistable for me to ignore."

She laughed, patting my cheek. "I have to go shower."

She hopped up after placing one last kiss on my lips before sauntering into her bathroom. I couldn't help but stare at her ass as she walked away.

I looked aroud her room, feeling at home. Feeling nosy, I crept over to her desk to read her journal entry from today. I knew it was an invasion of her privacy, but I wanted to know exactly what was going through that head of hers.

She wrote about me, and how one simple touch from me could send her system into overdrive. How my lips against her skin made her forget her own name. How I seemed to light up the room without even trying. My heart pounded while I read the words, a smile growing on my face. She truly felt for me the same exact way I felt for her.

I realized that - maybe - if I read some of her other entries, I could have a direct understanding into her thoughts and feelings. She always told her journal exactly what she was feeling, and I was desperate to help her overcome her emotional obstacles. I was running out of ideas, and I needed help. Maybe the journal was the answer to all my problems.

I flipped to a random page, reading the entry. It was from this past August, right before school started. It was a poem... about suicide. I could feel the tears blurring my vision as I read the words, my heart breaking at the idea of my Bella in that much pain. I couldn't believe how tortured she felt - how it seemed as if ending her life was the only answer. I felt like I couldn't breathe - the thought of Bella taking her own life taking my own from me.

"Edward?!" I heard her gasp in anger. I was so caught up in her poetry that I didn't even hear her turn the shower off or come back into her bedroom. She looked at me as if I had betrayed her. I guess I did.

"Bella-"

"What are you doing? How could you?!" She demanded, inching closer and closer. Her eyes were screaming with rage, a heavy scowl on her face.

"Baby, I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to invade your privacy like that-"

"Well, you did! What the fuck, Edward? I've never given you permission to read my journal. That's personal information. Why did you do that?" She snapped, her voice rising a few octaves.

"I was just trying to help you," I breathed. How could I make her understand? I needed her to, though. I couldn't stand the fact that she was mad at me. Bella has never argued with me like this before and it was tearing at my heart.

"Help me how? By betraying my trust? Get out of my room, Edward."

"Bella, love, please just listen to me, please. I just figured it would help me understand you so I can help you get better, I know I should have asked, I'm so sorry, baby." I was pleading, my eyes searching hers. I needed her to realize that my intentions were good, my execution was just terrible.

"Yeah, you should have asked. Please, go away."

"Love-"

"Go!"

I sighed, defeated. I nodded and offered her a sad smile before I whispered another apology and exited her room, my heart shattering in my chest. I was supposed to be there for her, to never hurt her. But I did the exact opposite. How could I be so fucking stupid? How could I betray her like that?

She didn't come out of her room the rest of the night. I couldn't stand the fact that she was angry with me. I tried to keep myself busy by doing homework or listening to music, but my thoughts consisted of nothing but her. I needed to apologize. To make this right.

Around midnight, I crept to her room and knocked on the door.

"Come in," her soft voice was barely audible. I shuffled inside and found her laying in bed, looking at the ceiling.

"What do you want, Edward?" She huffed in annoyance, keeping her eyes fixed on the ceiling.

"Can I talk to you? I just want to explain myself."

"You have 1 minute. Go."

I sighed and sat at the foot of the bed. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I regret doing that. It's just that... I'm so desperate to make you happy, to help you get rid of the pain weighing on your shoulders. I figured that if I could see into your head, that's how I could help. I know it was fucked up, but I just want to be there for you."

She gazed at me, and I could see her anger crumbling. She sighed in defeat. "You already are here for me."

"But, it will never be enough in my eyes. Not until you're truly, 100% happy."

"That doesn't give you the right to read my journal."

"I know, baby, I'm so sorry. I never wanted to betray your trust like that. I promise it will never happen again. I really hate that I upset you."

She looked down in her lap, biting her lip. "The stuff I've written in there... I never wanted you to read it. It's terrible, embarrassing... humiliating. Do you really think I wanted you to see that side of me, ever?" She looked up at me, tears falling down her flushed face. I wiped them with my thumb, cupping her cheek.

"I know. But, I love every side of you, Bella. You never need to feel embarrassed around me, especially about your past."

"I'm not sure if that's possible."

I sighed, offering a sad smile. "It will take time."

"Don't be nervous, dear, I promise that they will love you just as much as we do." I heard Mom's voice outside Bella's bedroom as I was about to go downstairs. I knocked before entering and found Bella and Mom sitting on Bella's bed. Bella was surrounded with clothes, and she wore an anxious expression on her face. She bit her lip in nerves, twiddling her thumbs in her lap.

Today was Thanksgiving, and we were having dinner at Grandma and Grandpa Cullen's house, which was in Hoquiam, about 2 hours away. I had told Bella a few days ago that we would be spending the holiday there, and she had been a nervous wreck ever since.

"Edward! There you are. Please, tell Bella that she has nothing to fear," Mom demanded as I sat on the foot of the bed, grabbing Bella's hand and sighing.

"I wouldn't bring you there if I felt that they wouldn't like you, Bella."

She kept her eyes cast downward as I reminded myself to stay patient and attentive. Those were a few words that Dad expressed that I needed to show Bella during this time in her recovery. He was beginning to look into therapy for her, but she does not know yet. I had a strong feeling that she would not be on board with going, and that she would feel as though she is doing something wrong for us to suggest it. As much as I loved her, it was very hard to make sure she was not in emotional pain. She had a sense of guilt and anxiety that she stayed latched onto, as if she was still living with Phil. It broke my heart, and it caused me a great deal of pain to watch her suffer, but I had no clue what to do. I felt so useless. I couldn't even scare the demons surrounding the one I love most.

"I know, and I'm sorry, I just have never met very many people in my life," she mumbled.

"No need to be sorry, Bella. I assure you, they are very great people. They will absolutely adore you, just like the rest of us," Mom cooed and kissed Bella's cheek softly. She smiled a real, genuine smile, basking in the love from Mom. I knew Bella loved my Mom, she's said so many times that she's just like her own. She makes my Bella feel safe and secure.

"Thank you guys," she smiled.

"Bella! Get in here, now! We have 2 hours until we have to leave and I still need to do your hair and makeup!" Alice's mighty voice bellowed from down the hall. I smirked as Bella rolled her eyes, giggling and sauntering into Alice's room.

"Alice is completely overbearing, Mom, you need to have a talk with her," I joked as I grabbed my clothes and headed into my bathroom for a shower.

"Edward?" Mom called sweetly, still sitting on my bed.

"Yeah?" I turned back around, plopping next to her.

She grabbed my hand and smiled, her light brown eyes sparkling with pride. "I just want to let you know that I'm proud of you. You've changed that girl's life, you know that? I know you feel helpless, because she's still in pain, but at least she is safe and getting happier. Without you, she may not even be alive at the moment. I know you don't want to hear that, but I want you to understand how much good you have done. I can see that you feel like you're not helping her enough. I don't want you to ever feel that way."

I knew Mom was right. I did everything in my power to pull Bella out of her old life ever since I began to fall for her. I persisted, determined to make her mine, determined to make her happy.

But, it will never be enough, in my eyes. Because, Bella deserves to be nothing but happy. No nightmares, no fear, no panic attacks, no issues of self confidence or self assurance. I was driven to change all of that, but I had to stay patient. Things like that did not happen overnight.

Moreover, the fact that Mom saw a lot in me filled my pride, showing me that I have definitely made progress in my quest of changing Bella's life for the better. I hugged her, kissing her cheek.

"Thank you, Mom."

"She's the one for you, isn't she, Edward?"

I rubbed the back of my neck, smiling like a lovesick puppy. "Yeah, I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her. I just know it. I can't see it any other way."

"Then show her that, honey. It will be worth it." She patted my knee affectionately before getting up to leave the room. Before opening the door, she turned back around and said "oh, and, Edward? I'm very happy that she is the one for you. I love her the way I love you and Alice."

She walked away then, smiling and shutting the door to my room behind her. I smiled the entire time I was in the shower, the feeling of being in love never ceasing to exist. I felt it in everything I did, in every move I made. I would never be able to live without her.

I waited downstairs, watching football with Dad while we waited for the girls to finish getting ready. We could hear Alice and Bella upstairs, listening to music loudly and laughing about God knows what as Alice flooded the room with makeup, clothes, and shoes. I didn't understand why she treated dinner with our family as a New York fashion show, but it made her happy, so I didn't question it further.

Finally, Mom emerged in a dark green cocktail dress, matching Dad's green tie. I wondered if Bella and I were supposed to match.

Alice came skipping downstairs in a black sweater dress and tall, black heels, silver bracelets rattling against her tiny wrists. Bella came down after, blushing and looking as stunning as ever in a brown cocktail dress with a tan cardigan over top and matching tan flats on her little feet. She wore a gold necklace with gold earrings, and light makeup on her face, mostly neutral tones to bring out the depths of her eyes. Her hair was completely straight, something I have never seen, but really loved. It made her look very mature, like a sexy business woman. I kept imaginig her in glasses, sitting at a desk in a tiny black skirt...

"Edward, time to go," Mom called, and I shook my head as Bella giggled and grabbed my hand, following the others to the car.

"You look perfect, love," I praised as I kissed her temple.

We took Dad's Mercedes. Alice, Bella and I played games on our phones and laughed the entire ride. Mom and Dad were quiet, but they were both smiling and holding hands up front.

Bella didn't look as tense as she was this morning, and I wondered if Alice had talked the nerves out of her while they got ready together.

We finally arrived to the house, the black gate open, awaiting our arrival. Alice squealed as she hopped out of the car and ran inside. Grandma and Grandpa just adored her and babied her to death. She was rather spoiled around here.

Bella gulped as she stepped out of the car and began helping Mom carry things from the car.

"Don't worry, baby, I promise it will be great," I whispered in her ear as we walked inside.

Grandma and Grandpa immediately came over, showering us in hugs and kisses.

"Grandma, Grandpa, this is my girlfriend, Bella," I introduced.

"Bella, what a pleasant little thing you are! I am so happy to meet you," Grandma chimed before gathering my Bella in her arms, hugging her fiercely and swinging her back and forth. Grandma was energetic, it was definitely where Alice got it from.

"Thank you, Mrs. Cullen, it's very nice to meet you," she uttered bashfully, blushing. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ears.

"Bella, welcome to our home, come, sit, what would you like to drink?" Grandpa placed his hand on the small of her back gently and ushered her into the family room, where a fire was lit in the fireplace and football was on the TV. Bella sat in the corner of the black L shaped couch, Alice and me by her side.

"We have coffee, tea, apple cider, orange juice, milk, and soda," Grandma listed off.

"Grandpa, you gotta give her some of your hot apple cider!" Alice declared, taking off her shoes and plopping her feet onto the coffee table, clearly getting comfortable.

Everyone took turns in and out of the kitchen, all of us cooking the meal together. Mostly, Grandma and Mom did the work, but we all helped when we could. Bella was thrilled to play with Oliver, Grandma and Grandpa's affectionate Corgi. He crawled all over Bella all day, kissing her face and making her squeal in delight. I realized that she probably has not played with a dog in years, if she ever even has. He seemed to make her very calm and happy, and I made a mental note to talk to Mom and Dad about the possibility of getting a dog for her. Maybe for Christmas...

"Isn't he just great?" Grandma asked Bella as she played tug of war with a rope with Oliver. Bella was laughing, joy evident in the sound of it.

"He really is. I love dogs, and he is something special," Bella sang, clearly smitten with him. It was adorable.

"You should see the things he does! He's a sneaky little thing. For example, I had a barbeque last year with the neighbors. When we werent looking, Oliver took all the hot dogs off the table and hid them in random places throughout the entire house! He would go around for days and find new ones and eat them up! I just couldn't find any of them, the little bastard!" Grandma howled with laughter right along with Bella.

"Stories like that make me really want one one day. They're just so funny," Bella giggled.

Grandma and Bella sat on the couch and talked about dogs for another thirty minutes straight, completely lost in their own world. I was extremely glad she was fitting in so well with my family. It was very important to me.

At 4 P.M., dinner was on the table. It smelled absolutely incredible, and I couldn't help but load my plate with basically everything. Turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes with marshmellow and brown sugar on top, green bean casserole, stuffing and Hawaiian rolls.

"I just want to say how happy I am that you all could make it. Also, Bella, you are a wonderful addition to our family. Thank you for being here tonight," Grandpa called while we all raised our glasses and toasted to the good times.

We chatted about normal things during dinner, mostly gossip and politics. Grandpa told stories of his time in the Korean War as an engineer. We ate plenty of helpings of food, completely full by the end. I didn't even want to think about food for the rest of my life.

We decided to play 500 Rummy after dinner, sipping coffee and listening to the football games softly in the background. Bella didn't know how to play, but she got the hang of it after a few rounds.

As always, Grandpa won the game. I swear, he cheats somehow. After cards, Mom and Grandma put an apple pie and a pumpkin pie in the oven, and the smell woke me up from my food coma. Maybe I have enough room for a little dessert...

"Guys, Jasper just sent me a text. His parents are leaving tonight around 9 and staying overnight in Seattle because they're doing a bunch of Black Friday shopping tomorrow. Him and Rosalie want us and Emmett to spend the night and get fucked up, what do ya say? It's gonna be a birthday party for Emmett, since his birthday was 2 days ago." She wore a wicked smile on her face, whispering so our parents wouldn't hear from the kitchen.

I looked at Bella, giving her the right to choose. I would gladly stay home in bed with her if that's what she wanted to do instead.

But, she was smiling, and she seemed rather excited. "Sounds fun, I'm in."

We arrived back to Forks around 8. We informed Mom and Dad of our plans to stay overnight at Rosalie and Jasper's, and they let us go without an issue. I even saw Mom smirk and wink at Dad as we were walking out of the house. Ew...

"We're here!" Alice screamed throughout the Hale house.

"Basement!" We heard Emmett's deep voice booming in response. We headed downstairs and found Jasper and Emmett playing foosball while Rosalie watched from the couch, sipping on white wine.

"Hey, guys, Happy Thanksgiving!" Emmett exclaimed and paused the game in order to give all 3 of us bone-crunching hugs, lifting us off the ground. I was secretly grateful, my back was killing me all day from being in the car but Emmett cracked it right out of me.

We said 'happy birthday' to Emmett, and prepared a shot of tequila for him. We pretended it was a birthday cake, and we all sang "Happy Birthday." Instead of commencing the song by blowing out candles on a cake, Emmett commenced it by taking his shot.

"Now that you guys are here, we're ready to play flip cup," Jasper suggested as Rosalie pulled a plastic table from the supply closet and unfolded it, placing it in the center of the entertainment room of their basement.

"Flip cup?" Bella repeated, question reigning in her voice.

"Yeah, it's a fun game, and gets you really fucked up. 3 people stand on one end of the table, and 3 on the other. Those are the 2 teams. After counting down, the 2 people from each team on the right end of the table chug their drinks, and then they have to put their empty cups on the edge of the table and flick it so it flips over and lands on its rim. Once they make it land successfully, the person next to them can chug their drink and do the same thing. Whichever team gets done first, wins. It's a race."

Bella scowled in confusion. I chuckled and ruffled her hair playfully before grabbing a solo cup and filling it a quarter way with wine. We always played that way. I gave it to Bella and then filled my own.

"It's easy, Bella, just one round and you'll understand," Rosalie assured. Bella nodded in determination.

"Why don't we make it interesting? Every member of the losing team has to take a shot of patron," Emmett declared as he pulled the bottle from his overnight bag.

"Oh, you're so on! Boys VS. girls?" Alice suggested, and we were on board. Rosalie played music through her bluetooth speaker, the basement flooded with noise of mindless dance beats and our laughter.

We stood across from our significant others, Bella and I were first to drink. Rosalie counted down, and we both began chugging. I finished a few seconds before her, and was determined to keep the lead. We both continuously flipped our cups. Shockingly, Bella's landed on its rim before mine, which gave Rosalie the okay to chug and start flipping her cup. Finally, mine landed, and Emmett chugged his drink in no time next to me. However, Alice was already flipping her cup, and the girls won when it landed on its rim.

"YES!" They all cheered in unison, hugging and jumping up and down in excitement as us guys groaned. Rosalie smirked and pulled shot glasses out of a cabinet from the bar, filling them to the brim with tequila. I gulped. Tequila and I were never close friends, but I committed to the dare and wouldn't back down.

After we took our shots, Emmett suggested we smoke some pot before continuing any more of the drinking games. We made mixed drinks to sip on while we smoked. I made Bella and I vodka and orange juice. She loved it, and began drinking it faster than she should have been. I reminded her to slow down so she wouldn't puke, but she seemed too excited to stop.

Emmett packed the bowl for the bong and began passing it all around.

"Guys! I just got the best idea!" Alice blurted after exhaling a cloud of smoke and passing the bong to Jasper beside her.

"What is it, babe?" He asked.

"This Summer, after graduation, us 6 should go on a vacation! Somewhere totally awesome, like renting a beach house for the week or something! How fun would that be? We can each throw in some money. It wouldn't be too expensive with all of us chipping in."

We all praised Alice for her great idea, all except Bella. She sighed sadly and chugged the rest of her drink before walking over to the bar and pouring herself another.

I followed after her, sensing her change in mood. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Nothing." She bit her lip, looking downward.

"Tell me, it's okay." I placed my hands on her hips.

She shrugged, still not looking at me. "I can't go on a vacation with you guys."

"Why not?"

"I don't have any money to chip in."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "Please, Bella. You think that's an issue? I will glady throw money in your place. I obviously want you there. We all do."

She shook her head. "No, I don't want you to do that for me."

"I'm your boyfriend, that's what I'm supposed to do. Take care of you. And I love doing it. I always will."

"You shouldn't have to constantly take care of me and make sure I'm okay. I should be able to do that on my own."

I sighed, grasping both her hands in mine. She looked up at me, sadness was evident in her eyes. "You haven't had the chance, Bella, and that's not your fault. You are free to do what you want, now, and I will continue to help you along the way. I will always provide for you, baby, no questions asked. But, I will also support you wanting to provide for yourself. I want you to live the life you want to live, now that you can."

She smiled up at me, and kissed me briefly. "You're amazing, do you know that?"

I shrugged and offered her a wink before walking back to our friends, refilling my cup with more alcohol. Alice and Rosalie were playing on Alice's phone, already researching fun places to go. We smoked a few more bowls between the 6 of us, before deciding to take a break from the weed for a little. We were all insanely high. We played another round of flip cup. This time, Jasper said the teams should be the Cullen's VS. everyone else.

"You're one of us, Bella, that means you're on our team," Alice pulled her next to us, and Bella was smiling widely, happiness radiating off her.

Sadly, the 3 of us lost, and had to take tequila shots. Between the wine we were chugging for the game, the mixed drinks I drank while we smoked, and the tequila shots, I was feeling drunk. Everything in the room seemed to spin, and I was sweating. I took off my dress shirt, leaving me in a wife beater. I saw Bella eyeing me up, and I sent her a wink. She blushed and took a shot.

She had to be more drunk than me. Her face was red and she was swaying a bit. A random pop song came on, and the 3 girls began dancing wildly around the room, singing the words and laughing together. They drunkenly moved their hips and held their cups in the air as they acted a fool. Us guys just stood on the sideline, watching as Jasper rolled up 2 hefty joints.

"Hypnotize" by Biggie Smalls came on, and it was amazing to see all 3 girls rap the entire song perfectly. I knew Bella appreciated old school hip hop, but I didn't know how much. It was hilarious to see innocent little Bella getting down to Biggie Smalls.

She made her way across the room to me, but fell in her drunken state. I rushed over to help her up, but she was just cracking up. I smiled and kissed the tip of her nose as I held her close.

"You're a funny little thing when you're drunk," I chuckled.

"I hope Biggie would be proud," she slurred.

"Biggie would be absolutely amazed."

"Guys!" She called, getting everyone's attention. "We need to take a shot in honor of Biggie. RIP!"

"Sure, drunky," Emmett teased and filled 6 shot glasses with Jameson. I was never much of a fan of whiskey or rum, but I was too fucked up to care. I could feel the alcohol and the weed battling for dominance in my foggy brain. I couldn't decide which one was taking over, but I was pretty messed up.

We stepped outside to puff on the joints. It was probably cold out, but we were all too drunk to notice. The cool air felt miraculous against my sweaty skin.

When we came back in, we were all sufficienty fucked up. We were stumbling around, laughing loudly and acting insanely carefree. Rosalie made a playlist of songs to party to. Jasper brought down one of his strobe lights, we turned off the lights, and danced for hours. We paraded around the room for at least 2 hours, acting like complete idiots. Emmett and Alice had a breakdancing competition at one point, and seeing the moves they created was hilarious. Bella and I goofily danced around one another all night, kissing in between songs and jokingly slow dancing to fast rap music. I was having such an amazing time, I never wanted this night to end. I needed these 5 people more than anything in the world.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: hey guys! So, this chapter is a HUGE ONE. Not in length, but in plot-building. **WARNING: this chapter is insanely graphic and disturbing.** I really hope you all approve! I know I always ask for reviews, but I REALLY wanna know what you guys think of this chapter. I was nervous and unsure about the story heading in this direction, so feedback will be beautiful! Okay, go ahead and read :)

disclaimer: I do not own twilight!

BPOV:

I opened my eyes and immediately felt a throbbing pain in my head. I groaned at the sunlight coming into the room and threw the blanket over my face, hiding from the world. I didn't get a hangover last time I was drunk. What was different this time?

Oh, I forgot to drink water. I berated myself internally as I shut my eyes, hoping I could fall back asleep. The old bed in Jasper and Rosalie's guest room was nothing compared to the grand one that the Cullen's had provided for me, but I was grateful to be in a bed, nonetheless.

"How are you feeling?" Edward's velvety voice asked from beside me. I groaned and cuddled into him, burying my face in his bare chest. He chuckled and nuzzled the top of my head with his nose. I felt his breath provide warmth to the ache on my head.

"Shitty."

"You need a greasy breakfast and some water. That should do the trick."

"I don't even want to move," I complained, my voice muffled by his skin.

He chuckled and kissed my hair, stroking my back affectionately.

I had a blast last night. The 6 of us were really a great group. Spending time together was always a fun, comfortable time. Although I don't remember much, I know it was amazing. I never expected to be so at ease around them, but they made it simple. I was incredibly thankful to have a group of friends so accepting and kind towards someone as fucked up as me - the school freak.

"I don't remember anything after smoking those joints. What happened?"

"Well, we went back inside and you took your top off and swung it around your head, yelling 'spring break'! Then, you puked all over the couch in the basement."

My eyes grew wide in complete horror. How could I act so stupid? I need to find everyone and apologize. I hope I can get the puke stain off the couch... Phil was right about me. I was a stupid bitch.

"I can see the wheels turning in your head. Relax, baby, I'm joking. You didn't do any of that," he laughed, and the relief that washed through me was gigantic. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"You ass!" I laughed and slapped his chest playfully. He chuckled and and tickled my sides. I squirmed in his grasp, howling with laughter.

I looked up at him when he finished, taking in the beautiful sight of his auburn hair, the way the morning sun reflected off it, showing the golden undertones. His eyes were so radiant, such a deep, yet bright green that struck me harder than lightning ever could. His unique crooked smile that seemed to belong to me. I will never stop marveling in the fact that this Greek God is all mine.

He smirked, most likely realizing that he was dazzling me - yet again - and brushed the very tip of my nose with a tiny kiss. "Come on, love, I hear everyone downstairs making breakfast, and I don't wanna miss out."

Despite the raging pain in my head, I shuffled downstairs, the scent of maple syrup and crisp bacon making my stomach grumble. Alice, Rosalie and Emmett stood in the kitchen, cooking casually - clearly not hungover like me.

"Hey guys, we're almost done with breakfast," Rosalie said.

"You look like shit, Bella," Alice teased. I rolled my eyes and ruffled her hair.

"Aww, did Bella put too much alcohol in her belly last night? Wait... Bella... Belly... I'm definitely gonna call you Belly now!" Emmett boomed, getting a kick out of himself.

"Where's Jasper?" Edward inquired as he poured himself a cup of coffee, drinking it black. I never understood how he could do that.

"In the shower. He threw up when we woke up this morning, so I made him clean himself up," Alice giggled, shaking her head.

"Damn lightweight! You guys will never be able to keep up with me," Emmett bragged.

"Emmett, one night you threw up in the corner of Mike Newton's basement into a litter box for 2 hours, so don't get cocky," Rosalie smirked. It was always hilarious when she put Emmett in his place.

"That's because I had 12 jello shots, a 4 loko, and 2 shots of bacardi. You would be in the hospital if you drank all that, Rosie!"

"What's a 4 loko?" I asked.

"Ugh, Bella, you don't want to know. It's a big can of malt liquor, it's $3 a can but one can is enough to get you absolutely wasted. I've never even finished one, I always get too drunk towards the end of it," Alice giggled while she flipped a chocolate chip pancake in the air, landing it perfectly on the pan.

"And there's also energy drink in it, too, so you're just a hyper drunk. It's honestly pretty fun, but you usually end up needing someone to babysit you," Edward chuckled, wrapping his arm lightly around my shoulder, stroking it absentmindedly.

"I want to try one day," I laughed.

"Be careful what you wish for Bella," Rosalie sang, shaking her head.

I scowled and stuck my tongue out at her, placing my hands on my hips for dramatic emphasis.

"Belly! You feisty little thing!" Emmett shouted, a grand smile on his face, his dimples showing plain as day. He was such a teddy bear, I just loved him.

Jasper eventually joined us, looking just as terrible as me. He winked, clearly seeing that I was hungover, as well. I popped some advil into my mouth and dealt with it, wanting to enjoy my time with my friends.

After breakfast, we made plans to meet up again later and do something fun. Alice stayed so she could hangout with Jasper, but Edward and I headed back home so I could lie down. I still felt like shit and I needed to sleep more.

"Did you have fun last night?" He asked as he drove through the backroads to his house, the rain whipping around outside.

"Yeah, I really love them all."

"I'm glad. They love you, too, ya know," he grinned.

"That makes me happy. I really like hanging out with you guys." I really was happy. I was beyond grateful to have befriended such caring, fun, thoughtful people. Being around them helped me forget all of the broken memories of my past and all of the ugly scars running along my body. They made me feel... whole. I never wanted to lose any of them.

Edward and I shuffled inside while I attempted to make myself look anything but a hungover disaster. Esme and Carlisle left a note, saying they were Black Friday shopping and would be home before dinner. It was only noon, so I had some time to nap and get myself together before they returned.

We climbed upstairs to his room, and I lazily plopped onto his bed, not bothering to change my clothes. I would sleep outside in the forest if I had to at the moment.

Edward snickered softly at my enthusiasm to sleep, clearly amused. He stripped into nothing but his boxers and climbed into bed next to me, wrapping us securely around his soft comforter. He kissed my temple numerous times before cuddling close to me, his chest against my back. I immediately fell into a deep sleep, a smile on my face.

"Baby, wake up," Edward cooed in my ear, kissing me briefly.

I groaned, feeling cranky. I was really enjoying my nap and wasn't ready for it to end.

"Sorry to wake you, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to play football with Emmett, Jasper, Mike, James and Marcus before the rain comes back. You can keep sleeping if you want, I'll be back in a couple hours."

I wanted him to stay and continue to hold me in his arms, but he barely spends time with his friends anymore because of me. I never wanted to keep him from the people he cares about.

"Mkay, see you soon," I kissed him softly, smiling at the touch of his full, soft lips.

"Call me if you need me at all, okay, love? Please don't hesitate," he pleaded, searching my eyes. I knew he meant if I had a panic attack or another nightmare. He always came to my rescue when I felt like my world was falling apart.

"Okay. When are you leaving?"

"Soon, Emmett is going to pick me up. You can go back to sleep. I'll sit here with you until he comes.

"Mmmm," I sighed, pulling him closer to me and closing my eyes. The goal was to fall back asleep before he left.

It worked. I woke up to my phone ringing about an hour later. The sound pissed me off, I wanted to throw the damn thing at the wall. I huffed and sat up, reaching for it.

Jacob was calling me. I wonder what he could have wanted.

"Hey, Jacob," I said into the phone, staring at the walls, anticipating what he would say while I rubbed the sleep out of my tired eyes.

"Hey, Bella, are you busy right now?"

"No, what's up?"

"I think you should come over. My Dad has a lot of news regarding Phil. He wants to show you some of the emails he's received on his laptop."

My heart began to hammer so hard in my chest that I thought it would burst. I felt a panic attack rising, and imagined Edward next to me, saying the comforting words he always does in my darkest times. I held back the tears, my nerves eating away at me once again.

"Um...okay. I'll ask Edward if I can borrow his car and drive over. I'll, uh, text you when I get a response from him."

"Sure, sure. Talk to you soon." He hung up right away. I immediately called Edward, my hands so sweaty that I thought the phone would slip out of my grip.

He answered on the third ring. I could hear guys arguing in the background about whether or not Marcus's foot was out of bounds or not. "Bella? What's up?" He called, sounding nervous.

"Um, well, Jacob just called. He said his Dad has news about Phil and he wants me to go over to talk. Do you mind if I borrow your car to drive there? If not, I can just see if Jacob can pick me up." I definitely sounded nervous.

"It's no problem, baby. Do you want me to come with you? I definitely wouldn't mind." He was always worrying. I smiled at how much he cared, but I had to remind myself not to keep him from his friends. I had to learn to be strong, now that I have the chance.

"It's okay, I'll just see you when you get home."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, keep playing football with your friends, it sounds like they need you over there," I laughed, still hearing their ongoing argument.

He chuckled into the phone, and I smiled instantly. "Okay. I'll see you later, I love you."

"I love you, too."

My hands were nearly shaking when I pulled into the Black's stone driveway, the sound of Edward's tires crunching onto the ground. His car softly purred as I drifted slower and slower. I took a deep breath as I exited the car and walked to the front door, gently rapping my anxious hands against it.

Jacob smiled warmly when he opened the door, but it didn't reach his dark eyes. I smiled hesitantly and stepped in when he motioned with his arm.

I didn't see Billy anywhere, and wondered where he was when I plopped onto the outdated couch in the living room. Jacob strolled into the room after shutting and locking the front door, sitting next to me, a little too closely.

"So, what's going on?" I jumped the gun, needing to know what was happening with Phil.

Suddenly, Jacob began chuckling, and I scowled in confusion.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, my voice rising.

"You."

"What about me?"

"How stupid you are."

I stood up, glaring down at him, feeling the rage course through me. I was determined to never allow anyone to treat me the way Phil did, and Jacob was really rubbing me the wrong way.

"What are you talking about?!" I shrieked.

He stood up, a whole head and a half taller than me, gazing down at me with distaste in his eyes. My stomach coiled at the look of evil he suddenly wore on his face. I was growing anxious, and severely confused.

"Watch your fucking attitude, Bella. Did you really think that my Dad and I were here to help you? That I was your cousin?" He put airquotes around the word "cousin." I felt my eyes widen, my stomach churning with fear. I was hit with the idea that coming here was not a smart move, at all.

"What do you want then? Who are you?" I could hear the fear in my voice, making me sound like the pathetic girl that I truly am.

He licked his lips, smirking down at me sarcastically. I was frozen in place, not knowing what my next move should be. He seemed dangerous, and I had to find a way out of here. I was not going to be anyone's prisoner ever again.

"My Dad and I are here to bring you back to Phil, which we will do tonight. First, Phil said I am allowed to have my way with you, as a punishment for leaving him. Thankfully, for you, I don't get off by showing physical violence, like he does. I prefer one of the... sexual nature, if you catch the gist."

I felt the tears begin to roll down my face as fast as lightning before I bent over and vomited all over the living room floor, staining the carpet. The fear and anxiety burst out of me, I was unable to stomach it all. This can't be happening. I was waiting to wake up, but something about this nightmare felt too real. I knew it was reality. I would never wake up from this nightmare that my existence always turned into.

I shut my eyes and wrapped my arms around my waist, not knowing what else to do. I knew I would be helpless against Jacob.

"You fucking cunt! Clean that up, now!" He roared, his anger rolling off him in waves. I scurried into the kitchen, grabbing a wet rag and cleaning up the mess. He watched the whole time, sipping straight out of a plastic bottle of vodka and smoking a cigarette. Once I was finished, he jumped off the couch and sauntered towards me, a frightening smile on his face. Before he could touch me, I felt a surge of adrenaline. I decided that I would fight back this time. I was not just going to be handed to Phil on a fucking silver platter. I belonged at home, with the Cullen's... with my Edward. And that's where I will go as soon as I finish with Jacob.

Once he was arm's length, I swiftly kicked him in the groin, watching him double over in pain with pride. I ran to the front door, unlocking it with shaky hands and throwing it open. I was just about to reach Edward's car when I felt one warm, large hand smack against my mouth while the other wrapped around my waist, quickly carrying me back inside. I squirmed against his grasp, trying to scream as loud as possible, even though my mouth was covered.

He carried me all the way to the back of the house, throwing me onto a small bed. He slammed the door before returned to the bed, hovering over me and grabbing my wrists, squeezing in anger.

"You're such a fucking bitch, just like Phil said. Now, you need to suck my dick as an apology for hurting it. Lick my fucking nuts, too, while you're at it," he seethed before handcuffing my wrists to the bed frame while I struggled against him, trying with everything in me to get away. He was far too large, and it didn't help that he was on top of me, holding me in place no matter how hard I tried to get away. I yelped in pain when I felt the medal from the cuffs digging into my wrists.

I began sobbing, knowing there was no possibility of escape.

"Stop crying, Bella. I promise that you'll like this." He unbuttoned his pants and shimmied out of them, leaving him in his boxers.

"Who are y-you? I don't understand," I hiccupped through the tears, searching his eyes for answers.

"If I answer your questions, will you shut the fuck up so I can fuck you without issue?" He demanded, glaring at me. I nodded, so he continued. I needed to play along if I was going to get out of here.

"My Dad and Phil are best friends, have been for years. Phil never had a sister, we made all that bullshit up just so we could get close to you and bring you back to Phil. We helped him get away, and we know where he is. Now, he can finally be reunited with his precious daughter that he's missed oh, so much," he murmured as he stroked my cheek, an evil glint in his eyes.

"If you know what he's done, why would you bring me back to him? How could you be so evil?"

"It's fun, you should try it one day. Well, you probably will never have the chance to, at this point," he laughed, rubbing his thumb across my lip. I resisted the urge to bite him, but I knew it would do more harm than good.

"Please, just... let me go. I'll do anything, I swear, just let me go," I cried, the fear oozing out of me in the form of endless tears.

"No can do, babe. I have a job to fulfill, and I always keep my promises."

He took off his boxers, and I closed my eyes, refusing to look at his member. While my eyes were closed, he roughly removed my clothes. I held in the cries, imagining Edward lovingly touching me instead of this monster. I wouldn't allow myself to accept the fact that I may never see him again. I had to hold on to the tiny shred of hope that I had. I belonged with Edward, and I would find my way back. Somehow, someway.

He forced his fingers inside me, and I yelped in pain as I felt myself spread open. He was insanely rough and fast with his fingers, and I kept my eyes shut as the pain swallowed me whole. He was grunting the entire time, and I wished he would just shut the fuck up, so I could continue to pretend he was Edward.

After a few minutes, I went numb. My brain refused to process what was happening to me. It was as if I had no emotions at all. I didn't feel pain, or anger, or sadness. I felt nothing. I just kept my eyes shut and prayed for it to end.

But, it was no where near over. Since my eyes were shut, I wasn't prepared to feel Jacob shove his penis in my mouth, thrusting in and out with force. I couldn't stop myself from biting him this time, and he shrieked in pain before slapping me across the face. It stung, and I had to bite my lip to hold in the tears.

"You'll learn that things will be much better for you if you stop fighting it and let us do what we want with you," he growled, opening my legs and pounding into me. I shut my eyes again, forcing myself to think of happy times. Edward and I on our first date, the waves crashing outside as he wore a peaceful smile of bliss on his beautiful face. Alice going out of her way to take me shopping, making sure I looked perfect, treating me like a sister even though I just entered their lives. Esme cooking me personal meals and watching movies with me when I was recovering after my trip to the hospital. Carlisle checking on me every couple hours, being the first real father figure in my life. Hanging out with the gang, getting drunk and stoned and acting like nothing else in the world mattered but each other.

I plagued my mind with these thoughts, knowing I would not be able to bear the actual truth behind what was happening to me. I knew I was in denial, but denial was better than anything else at the moment.

I imagined Edward making love to me, the way he cradled me in his arms nice and tight as he rocked into me, filling my senses with love and pleasure. I imagined his warm green eyes, the way they seemed to shine when he touched me. I imagined running my hands through his gorgeous locks while he made me cum. I imagined the way he held me securely when we were finished, both of us panting from the intensity of the moment. I couldn't help but feel like filth. I was supposed to save my body for Edward and Edward only and look what I allow to happen to me. I can't believe how stupid I really am. How I thought I could ever live a normal, happy life.

He pulled out after what felt like forever and spilled himself on my belly button. He swiftly got off of me with a loud grunt, getting a paper towel and wiping his semen off of me. Again, I kept my eyes shut, trying to distract myself by thinking of an escape plan.

Jacob reached into my jeans that were lying on the floor and grabbed my cell phone from the pocket. He wrote down some information from my phone - I'm not sure what, and I really don't want to know - before throwing it with major force against the ground, shattering it into pieces. I gulped, wondering what his next move was, trying to remind myself to stay fast on my feet. I had to make a move the second he frees me from these retched handcuffs.

He dressed himself before walking out of the room, shutting the door behind him. I could hear his muffled voice, but nobody else's, so I assumed he was talking on the phone. Thankfully, this gives me more time to think.

Since he caught up to me last time I tried to get away, he's obviously much faster than I am. I really need to make sure he's unable to get up before I make a run for it. But, how to do that? I looked around the room, looking for anything to assist me. There was an old, lunky computer, a small tv, a cd case and a bedside table with a lamp on it. I could throw the lamp at his head, and then kick him in the groin immediately after. Would that work?

I realized it was time to find out when he tossed the door open with ease. He held an old cell phone next to my ear and said "it's for you" with a terrifying smirk on his face.

I couldn't help but sob when I heard his voice. That horrible, evil voice that did nothing but taunt me and tear me down for years. The one voice I would rather die than hear ever again. "Isabella, my dear, how have you been? I've really missed you, and I can't wait for us to reunite."

"Phil, p-please... just stop, I'll do anything, I swear," I pleaded, even though I already knew it was useless. He would never change his mind on this one.

"Oh, stop it, Isabella. You know you're excited to see me again," he said sarcastically. "Now, listen here. Jacob is going to give you some medicine, just something that will make you sleepy. Don't fight it, Isabella. Oh, I forgot, you can't, since you're handcuffed! Anyway, when you wake up, we will be together again. See you soon." He hung up before I could even respond. I glanced at Jacob with wide eyes as he approached me with a needle in his hand.

"No, please, don't! Don't!" I screamed. "Help! Somebody help me!" I wondered if anyone could hear me, but I highly doubted it. I was grasping for straws.

He injected it into my forearm, and I cried in pain as I watched the smallest amount of blood ooze down my skin. After a few minutes, I felt my eyelids grow heavy, my breathing labored as I fell into a deep state of unconciousness.


	21. Author's note

Hi guys. I know I just updated a few hours ago, but I just want to know if you want me to continue the story or not. In the early chapters, many of you loved it, but I seem to have lost a lot of you. This is totally my fault. I seemed to have strayed away from what you guys wanted to read, and I apologize. I truly wrote the story the best way I could, but I totally understand if it is not enjoyable to you guys anymore. Leave a review and let me know if you want me to continue. If not, I understand completely! Sorry that I failed so many of you, I kind of feel like shit now. Thank you to those who have encouraged me at different points and have enjoyed my story. I will always be grateful for you guys :) so yeah, just please be honest and let me know if I should continue updating. Thanks!


	22. Chapter 21

A/N: sooo... I decided to continue the story with it's original plot. After giving it many thought, I realized that this story is MEANT to be quite difficult to read. It is supposed to be filled with angst and drama. It's this way because the happy ending will be that much more beautiful. (You guys know I will give her a happy ending!) I want to thank Lady Arwen of Elves for her review, letting me know that I should write the story as I see it and not to please everyone! I truly can't please you all... everyone is different! I just hope you guys enjoy the rest. Thank you so much for sticking with me! Please let me know how you feel about this chapter :)

Disclaimer: i do not own twilight! You

EPOV:

"So, what do you wanna do later, bro?" Emmett asked as we hopped in his Hummer, our clothes reeking of sweat and autumn rain. Football was a lot of fun, but I was officially warn out. I couldn't wait to step in the hot shower.

"Doesn't matter to me. What do you have in mind?"

"We can hangout at my place and watch movies. Maybe go to the diner."

"That's cool with me."

We pulled into my driveway, and I was disappointed to see my car wasn't there. I would have thought Bella might be home by now. We were playing football for over 3 hours.

"Alright, I'll text you in a few hours about tonight," I said. He gave me a fist bump and I hopped out of the car, already pulling my phone out of my pocket to call Bella as I walked into the house.

I was immediately met with the voice of the operator, telling me the call could not be completed. I scowled, not liking this at all.

"Anyone home?!" I yelled into the house.

"Yeah!" Alice's voice came from upstairs. I jogged up to her room, having a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Where's your car?" She asked from her bed, flipping through channels on the TV.

"Bella took it to Jacob's, he called and said his Dad had news about Phil. But she's not back yet, and I'm worried, and her phone isn't working. Can I try to call her off yours? Maybe mine is just acting up or something," I pleaded. Alice nodded and handed it to me, a frown on her face. She was worrying, too. Twin telepathy.

The operator spoke into my ear, yet again, and I tossed Alice's phone back onto the bed in disappointment.

"Can you drive me to Jacob's? I want to make sure she's okay."

"Of course. Let's go." She hopped up right away, scurrying into a pair of tattered moccosins. We hurried to the garage, Alice revving her BMW to life, flooring it down the driveway.

"Do you remember how to get there?"

"Yes, it's in the history on my GPS," I explained, searching through my phone with shaky hands. Once I found the address, I allowed the voice of the GPS to take over. I stared out the window, trying to take deep breaths. I prayed nothing happened to her. I should have gone with her. My mind kept thinking the name that I never wanted to hear again: Phil. Was he a part of this?

"Relax, Edward, everything will be okay," Alice soothed, sending me a sad smile.

"I have a bad feeling, Al," I muttered, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Just take a few deep breaths. I have a water bottle there, too, if you need it."

I did as she said, but nothing helped. The only thing that could make this better would be holding Bella in my arms, knowing she is safe.

"You're not relaxed, Edward," she sighed.

"How can I be?! I couldn't bear if something happened to her."

"Don't be so pessimistic!"

I didn't say anything else, not wanting to upset myself even more. I just stared out the window the rest of the ride.

We pulled into his driveway, where my Volvo sat front and center. So, she was here. Why wasn't her phone working, then? I furrowed my brows in confusion as I exited Alice's car, striding to the front door. I knocked loudly as Alice joined me on the tiny porch, biting her lip in anxiety. I didn't hear anything coming from inside. I knocked again. Nothing.

"I don't think anybody is in there," she whispered.

"Where are they, then?" I demanded, trying to look through the glass at the top of the door. I saw no movement coming from the inside of the house. There seemed to be one small light on in the entire place.

"Maybe they went for food or something like that? You never know," she suggested.

I shook my head. "Bella would have kept tabs with me. She knows I... worry."

She scoffed. "Worry? More like overprotective babboon."

"Alice," I groaned. "This is no time for jokes. I just don't feel right about this."

"What should we do, then? Her phone isn't working, so how would she have been able to keep tabs with you?"

"She knows my number. She would have used Jacob's phone."

"Do you have his number?" She asked, looking up at me with hopeful eyes. I sadly shook my head, but then a beautiful idea came to my head. I don't have his number, but Leah might. Jacob did say that he knew her.

"Alice, text Leah and ask her if she has Jacob's number. He mentioned he knows her the first time I met him."

Alice nodded, getting to work right away. I crept around the house, looking inside through the dusty windows while I waited for a response from Leah. I didn't see anything out of the ordinary inside, but the knot in my stomach told me that something really wasn't right.

"Edward!" Alice called, running towards me, her cheeks stained red from the chilly winds coming from the ocean, which was not even a mile away. "Leah sent me his number."

I whipped my phone out of my pocket, plugging in the number that Leah had sent. I called right away, praying he picked up.

"Ah, this is Edward, correct?"

"Jacob? How did you know it was me? Where are you and Bella?"

"I took your number from her phone before I destroyed it. Her and I are a little busy right now, but I guess I have a few moments to chat. So, how did you get my number? Did you take it from Bella's phone after we met? Oh, I bet Leah gave it to you."

"What the fuck do you mean 'destroyed her phone'? What is going on?" I snapped, glaring at the air in front of me. Alice looked at me with questioning eyes. I put the phone on speaker, not wanting to leave her out. I needed her, after all.

"Well, I'm taking her to reunite with Phil, of course. He has been incredibly excited to see her and... bond with her, just like he used to before she fucking left him to be with you."

I felt my blood run cold, anger surging through me like an adrenaline rush. I wanted to speak - to yell at him and demand he returns her to me - but my mouth was suddenly far too dry to even form words. No, this can't be happening. No fucking way. I just got her in my fucking life. They are not taking her away from me. I could feel the pain soaring through me in a milisecond, my heart shattering in my chest. I needed her back.

Instantly, I found my voice, and it dripped of complete venom, my hands shaking in relentless fury that wouldn't go away until I killed the both of them.

"You listen here, little fucker. You bring her back to me, totally unharmed, or you will face a hell worse than you could ever fucking imagine, got it? Don't you dare fucking touch her, mongrel. Am I clear?"

He began laughing loudly. "Ah, you're funny, Edward. Well, she's not coming back to you ever again, and if you try to get in the way of Phil, you will fucking die faster than you can blink those pretty green eyes of yours, got it? Oh, and about touching her, it's a little too late for that. You really know how to pick 'em, Edward, she was incredibly tight. Thanks for sharing her with me." The line disconnected, indicating he hung up.

I saw red, and before I knew what was happening, I was punching my hand into the side of the tiny house, not paying attention to the cracking noises that filtered into the air around us. I thought that I would never experience pain and rage as intensely as the night I found Bella beaten in her house, but this was way worse. I couldn't comperehend what I was doing or what I was feeling. It just fucking hurt all over.

"Edward, stop!" Alice sobbed, her voice shrieking in anxiety.

"He fucking touched her, Alice! He invaded her! I'm going to fucking kill him! I'm going to rip his fucking head off!" I yelled at nobody in particular, wishing the sound could float so far that Jacob could hear, wherever that may be.

"Calm down, we need to focus on getting her back!" She cried. I looked over to see tears and black makeup streaming down her face, her lips quivering in fear. She glanced at my hand, and that was when I felt the searing pain. Blood poured out of my knuckles, the bones looking a bent and purple.

"I'll call Dad to come for your hand, you call the cops," she breathed while finding her phone.

"9-1-1, what is your emergency?" A young woman's voice picked up.

I didn't want to even fucking say it, but I swallowed the agony and let it out. "I need to report a case of kidnapping... And, I think a sexual assault."

"What's your name, son?"

"Edward Cullen," I mumbled as I placed my back against the house and sank down to my knees, hugging them to my chest tightly as if I could hold myself together.

"Okay, what happened?"

"My girlfriend's stepfather was abusive, and she's recently moved in with me, while he ditched town and went missing. Now, her cousin is taking her to him at this very moment. I think he... raped her, too." Tears began flowing down my face, and I swallowed the sob that was racking my frame. I had to get through this call, for Bella, even though it tore me apart.

After providing more information about the situation to the operator, she said officers were on their way to Jacob's house.

After hanging up the phone, I hid my head between my legs and began to sob, the sound echoing all aorund me. I was aware of Alice sitting next to me, wrapping her tiny arms around me and resting her head on my shoulder. She was talking, but I wasn't registering any of the words. I couldn't comprehend anything other than a scorching fire that burned my heart to a crisp. My entire frame shook with despair, despite Alice holding me close to her.

2 cop cars arrived, with 2 cops in each. 3 of them were men, 1 was a woman. They approached Alice and I warily.

"Are you okay, son? Your hand looks severly injured," one of the men called. He was tan with dark hair, similar to Jacob's appearance, but not as tall.

"My Dad can fix that, he's a doctor and he's on his way. Please, just focus on my Bella, please," I croaked pathetically.

The woman knelt down so she was eye level to me. She was younger, maybe in her thirties, with very pale skin and icy blond hair. She looked at me with pity in her eyes and smiled a sad smile. She felt sorry for me. "We will do everything we can, dear. Just fill us in as much as you can."

I spent the next 15 minutes describing the entire situation with as much detail as I could muster - starting from the night I found her beaten in her house. All 4 cops took notes while I spoke, their attention completely on me. Alice filled in whenever she could, but was mostly silent, crying quiet tears the whole time.

"Edward?! Alice?!" I heard Mom's voice from the driveway. Her and Dad jumped out of Dad's Mercedes and sprinted over to us, Dad clutching a medical bag to his chest. They ran over to us, kneeling down so they were eye level with Alice and me, who were still plopped on the ground against the house.

"Let me see your hand, Edward," Dad mumbled, gingerly touching it and examining it. I hissed in pain when he touched it, the contact making my bones ache even more than they already were.

"I suggest you take your son to the hospital right away while we get to work on this case. We will start by attempting to track the cell phone that Jacob was using to talk to you with," one of the cops said. He was only a few years older than me, but seemed very mature and serious about his job. He didn't look like someone you want to fuck with.

"I'm not going anywhere until Bella is back," I declared.

Mom wrapped her arms around me, tears flowing down her face. "Edward, honey, you have to get your hand fixed up. It's definitely broken. Dad will do it no problem. This is a job for the police, not you."

"I don't care, Mom! I need to help somehow, I can't just... just sit around while she's out there, God only knows what is fucking happening to her at this very moment!" I bellowed, feeling the sobs begin to consume me again. Mom said nothing, just cradled me in her arms as I hid my face from everyone.

"Son, we will do everything we can right away. You can even come back to the station after your trip to the hospital. I don't know your girlfriend, but I doubt she would like the fact that you're refusing to get help for your injury," one of the older cops uttered. I scowled up at him, not enjoying the fact that he was right.

I sighed before slowly rising to my feet and shuffling towards the driveway, my family and the cops in tow.

I asked the police woman to write my phone number in her notepad. "Please, if you find anything while I'm gone, call me." She smiled sadly and nodded, tucking the paper safely in her pocket.

Mom drove my car back to the house, while Alice drove hers and I rode with Dad to the hospital.

"Edward, please try to stay calm," he urged as he zoomed down the street.

"How, Dad?! Would you be calm if this shit was happening to Mom?"

He visibly cringed at the thought of it, and I knew my answer. "I understand this is hard for you, but we will get her back, okay? Don't ever give up. Ever. We will all do whatever it takes. We love her all the same."

Once again, I began to cry. The anxiety was rolling off me in waves stronger than the ones produced by the ocean. I could feel the anger and sadness sitting on my chest like a 60 pound dumbell. It almost hurt to breathe. "I can't live without her. I... I don't know what I would do if we didn't get her back." My words were barely audible through my sobs.

But, Dad understood. He always does. He patted my back affectionately. "Don't think like that, son. It does more harm than good."

We arrived at the hospital right away. Even though Dad wasn't on the clock, he refused to let anyone else cater to me. He changed into a spare pair or scrubs from his trunk and speedily wrapped my hand in a cast. He gave me a bottle of pills for the pain. But, these pills weren't for the type of pain that I needed them to ease.

"Can you drop me off at home so I can get my car and drive to the La Push police station? I want to see how far they've gotten," I asked Dad.

He shook his head. "No, Edward, not with your hand the way it is. We will stop at home and pick up Alice and your Mom and we can all go together. We're a family, and Bella is a part of it, and we will get through this together."

Alice and Mom came outside and hopped in the car the second we pulled into the driveway. Mom had taken the liberty to print various pictures of Bella to give to the cops.

Alice sat in the backseat with me and immediately rested her head against my shoulder, looking for comfort. I sighed heavily and patted her knee. Nobody spoke the entire way to La Push. There was really nothing to say.

"Have you found anything?!" I inquired as we were led to the back corner of the tiny station, where the same 4 cops were crowded around computers and monitors.

"It seems as though Jacob destroyed the phone he was talking to you with. We can't track it at all. We aquired Phil's phone number as well as Billy Black's, but those phones were destroyed, as well. Now, we are working on finding any of their cars. We found Jacob, Billy, and Phil's license plate information as well as car registrations. The only problem is that Jacob's car was still on the Black's property when we got there. So, that one is ruled out," the older cop explained.

"We did find that Phil was an only child, so they made up the whole 'cousin' charade. Obviously, as a way to get Bella to trust them," the female added.

"I've brought pictures of our Bella, to help you guys with the search," Mom mumbled sadly as she plopped a few photos onto the table. Tears blurred my vision as I gazed at them, seeing my Bella's beautiful smile and twinkling brown eyes staring back at me. One of the pictures was from yesterday. It was Bella and I in our fancy clothes, posing for a photo in front of Grandma and Grandpa's fireplace. Oliver was in the background, looking up at Bella for the attention she kept showering him with throughout the day. Mom insisted we capture the moments of the day with family. We both looked so irrevocably happy, our smiles bursting with joy and love. It was hard to believe this was just yesterday. I felt like she's been missing forever.

"She is very lovely," the female cop muttered. I nodded in agreement.

"From our experience and understanding, we don't think he will kill her. He had a chance to for many years, and obviously did not take it. In a twisted, way, he enjoys having her around. He needs having her around to fuel his ego. He likes the power, the control. We will fax these pictures of her over to all the local news stations as well as police stations. I'll make sure Bella's story is all over the news bright and early tomorrow morning, and every police station nearby is aware of the situation. Everyone in Washington will be alerted to be on the lookout for her. I've already found pictures of Phil from the news reports from a month ago, when he took off, so we will also be sure to include those," the younger, male cop placed them in a fax machine and began typing away on it.

"What else can we do?" I demanded.

"Right now, not so much. This case is barely 2 hours old, so we don't have much right now. We will continue to work diligently," the female cop said.

They finally introduced themselves, since I would obviously be seeing a lot of them until we found Bella. The female was named Kate, the young male was Paul. Sam was one of the quieter ones, who seemed to be in his early 40's. The eldest was named Harry.

"Paul and I will be heading further onto the reservation tomorrow to talk with people who knew Jacob and Billy. This is a very close-knit community, so we know exactly who to talk to. Maybe someone out there knows something," Sam said.

"Do you guys know Jacob and Billy, then?" Dad asked.

Paul scoffed. "Yeah, and this doesn't surprise us. They're known around here to be little arrogant bastards. Not many people are fond of them."

"Did you know they were close with Phil?" Mom asked.

"We knew they all knew each other, but we didn't think they were close enough to be involved in something like this," Sam explained.

"Well, you thought wrong," I mumbled angrily.

"Edward," Mom began to scold. "Please show some respect. Everyone is doing what they can."

I rolled my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose in sheer frustration.

"Why don't you all go home and get some rest? We will continue to do our best. We will be sure to call you, Edward, if something comes up," Harry said.

"I don't want to leave. I have to help...somehow," I said. How could I go home and relax in my warm bed while Bella is most likely being tortured? I resisted the urge to punch the wall again. I didn't need another broken hand.

"Edward, honey, there is only so much you can do, personally. Even if you want to help, you can still go home and brainstorm anything that could assist us. Otherwise, try to rest. You've had a terrible day and you need to recover properly if you plan to continue to help us," Kate said gently, her blue eyes holding that same look of pity again.

"I'm coming back tomorrow morning, right when I wake up, okay?" I said, walking away before any of them had a chance to protest.

My family and I jumped back into the car, heading back to Forks, the sun setting in front of us. I stared at my hands the entire ride, wishing they were wrapped around the neck of Phil Dwyer.

"I'm going to be in my study, doing research on Phil. I'll find what I can," Dad announced before walking inside, his shoulders slumped in sadness. Mom placed one hand on my back and one on Alice's as she shuffled us into the house.

"Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper are coming over, Edward. We're all gonna sit down and think of anything we can. We're gonna find her, together."

My friends came over not even 15 minutes after we returned from La Push. Rosalie had tears running down her cheeks, and Emmett and Jasper were pale and wide-eyed, as if they had just seen the most terrifying ghost. Sadly, this situation was much worse than a supernatural force. All 3 of them wore looks of pain and fear on their faces.

"Edward, we're so sorry, dude. We're gonna find her, okay? I got some really good information from my Dad," Emmett whispered in my ear as he gave me a hug. I wanted to cry the minute his arms wrapped around me, but I held it together. I had to try to be strong if we were all gonna work together.

"What do you have, Em?" I asked as the 5 of us sat in the living room. Mom ordered pizzas for us before joining Dad in his study, helping him with some research.

Emmett pulled a black notebook from his backpack.

"My Dad graduated with Phil from Forks High School, the same year and everything. They've kept contact here and there throughout the years, so as soon as Alice called and told us what happened, I legitimately interviewed my Dad on everything he knows about Phil."

I nodded eagerly, hoping some of the information would help at all.

"I'll read off all the bullet points I jotted down. Phil had a girlfriend in Port Angeles, her name is Bree Tanner, so she might know something. Also, Phil mentioned to my Dad about possibly buying a small lakehouse somewhere for fishing, so you can have the police look into that, but my Dad doesn't know if he ever went through with it. My Dad also said that Phil is very close with the nighttime bartender at 'Corked' over on 6th street, so he might have some good insight."

Emmett actually had some solid information, and I thanked him profusely before whipping out my phone and calling the La Push police station. I relayed the new information to Sam, and he said they would look into all of the bullet points right away. They said they would start at the bar, since it's right here in Forks. They were sending Kate and Harry over right away to speak to the bartender.

I ran my hands through my hair in distress as I sat back in the living room. My sister and our friends just looked at me with pity in their eyes.

"Please try to stay positive, Edward," Rosalie urged from her spot in Emmett's lap.

"How?" I snorted.

"The cops seem to know what they're doing so far, and we have some great leads from Emmett's Dad. There's so many of us that are willing to do anything to get her back," Jasper assured, his voice soft and hesitant. I knew he was expecting me to just lash out and flip the fuck out. I think I felt too numb at the moment for any of that.

"Yeah, Edward," Rosalie added. "We all love her, too, ya know."

I sighed deeply, running my hands through my hair. I felt like pulling it all out. "You guys just don't understand what I'm feeling right now."

"I know, but we definitely feel a good portion of it. You think we don't wanna kill all 3 of these dickheads? I would glady go to jail for Bella, dude. She doesn't deserve this fucked up bullshit!" Emmett was yelling now, balling his hands into huge fists beside him. Rosalie shushed him gingerly and kissed his forehead. I was rather shocked at his outburst. He was rarely serious or violent.

The pizza arrived soon, but most of it went untouched. I felt bad that Mom payed for it, but nobody had much of an appetite at the moment. I already felt like throwing up the small amount of food in my system from this morning. I couldn't stomach anything else.

Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett and Alice declared they were not going to leave me alone tonight. We were going to camp out in the basement, together. They felt I needed to be surrounded by everyone I loved. Part of me wished they would just leave me the fuck alone. Another part of me was grateful they cared so much. Another part of me knew I needed them, anyway.

I suddenly remembered Leah, and decided I would get her number from Alice and text her.

I asked Leah some questions throughout the night while we sat on the couches in the basement. It was slowly getting late, but I knew none of us would sleep tonight. Leah ended up giving me her brother, Seth's, cell phone number since he knew Jacob much more than Leah did. I was sick of the slow pace of text messaging, so I called him.

"Hello?" He answered. He sounded a few years younger than me.

"Hi, it's Edward, Leah's friend."

"Oh, hey, she said something about you calling me. I'm really just freaking out over the situation. I've known Jacob for years, and even though he was kind of menacing, I never thought he'd do this. I'll do anything to help."

"I just want to know if you know anything about Jacob and his Dad that could help us? Do you know where they could have taken her?"

He sighed. "That's tough to say. I know that the two of them used to do a lot of fishing along the whole Washington Coast, sometimes even hitting Oregon up. Pretty sure they went a lot with Phil."

"Have you ever met Phil?" I asked.

"Yeah, once, about a year ago. Really didn't say much to me."

"Do you think they took Billy's car? Because Phil's been gone for a month, and Jacob's is still at his house."

"Oh my gosh!" He suddenly exclaimed. "The other car!"

I sat up immediately upon sensing the excitement in his voice. "What do you mean?" I pressed.

"Jacob had an old BMW from the 80's in his garage. He was always secretive about it. He would work on it constantly, but never let anyone see it. I got annoyed one time and just peaked through the window and saw it. I never understood why he kept it on the down low like that, but now it makes sense. He wanted to take Bella in a car nobody knew about. I doubt that thing even has registration or a real fuckin' plate, for that matter. It's been sitting in there for a while. I don't think he knows I've even seen it."

"This is fucking great, Seth! Do you know the exact version and color?" I hopped up and grabbed a pen and notepad from the bar in the basement, getting ready to jot down the new information.

"Yeah, I love old cars like that so I fell in love with it. It was an '83 3 series- an E21. It was a light tan color, like a champagne or whatever they call it these days."

"I wrote it all down. Thanks, dude, I appreciate it. Is there anything else?"

"Not off the top of my head, but I'll keep thinking and let you know if I come across anything. Good luck, dude, keep me posted. I'm really sorry about all this."

"Thanks, man. I'll talk to ya later."

"Cool."

I hung up, beaming at my friends, who were looking at me with anticipation on their faces. I relayed the information from Seth, and they cheered in excitement, their faces lighting up.

"This is really good stuff, man. Call the station and tell them everything Seth told you. I know it's late, but someone might be there," Jasper advised.

Thank God, Sam and Paul were still there. They said they were waiting for Harry and Kate to come back from the bar before they called it a night and left the station. I told them about the car, and they were absolutely thrilled with the new information. They were going to stop at the Black's on the way home to look in the garage. We would know what car Jacob took Bella in if the BMW was still there or not.

I also gave them my phone number, so they could call or text me right when they went to see if the car was still there.

"I need a fuckin' drink," I announced when I hung up the phone with them.

"No, Edward, you can't! Aren't you on prescription painkillers?" Alice scolded worriedly.

"No, I haven't taken any of them yet." Rosalie instantly pulled a hefty bottle of vodka from her overnight bag, clearly sensing my stress.

"I figured that much," she mumbled. I half-smiled in appreciation and snagged it from her, sipping right out of the bottle. The liquid burned my throat, but I needed any type of escape at the moment.

After continuously swigging from the bottle, the 4 of them suggested I slow down, but I didn't want to. If this could ease the pain at all, then I would gladly drink the whole fucking thing and be sent to the hospital. I didn't give a fuck at this point.

An hour later, I was pretty drunk. "Hey, guys, remember how cute Bella always was when she was wasted?" I laughed at the memories.

They eyed me warily, clearly concerned for my well-being.

Emmett chuckled softly. "I've never seen someone get so excited over such random shit! Bella is my favorite drunk person, ever."

"Yeah, she's a lot of fun," Jasper muttered, snickering lightly.

"I can't believe I let this happen," I choked as I looked at my hands, unsure of what to do.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked, cocking her head to the side in confusion.

"I promised her - time and time again - that I would never let anything happen to her ever again. That I would always protect her and take care of her. I let her down. I had one job - to keep her safe - and I fucking failed! How could I be so stupid?! Why did I let her go there without me?! Right now, at this moment, she needs me and I'm here, instead, getting drunk and doing nothing about it! I'm such a fucking idiot!" I was losing it, I was beginning to see red again. I began pacing the room. Emmett and Jasper stood simultaneously and eached placed a hand on my shoulder, providing pressure in order to usher me back onto the couch.

"This is not your fault at all! It's HIS fault! There is nothing any of us could have done. Please, Edward, try to understand that," Rosalie pressed, her eyes pleading. Tears were building in them, about to fall onto her cheeks any second. I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut.

"If I was a better boyfriend, she would be here right now, where she's safe."

"How could you fucking say that, Edward?! After everything you've done for her?! If it wasn't for you, she would still be living with him, bruised and broken and depressed! You are an amazing boyfriend, and NONE of this is your fucking fault!" Alice snapped, her voice raising many octaves. She began to sob, burying her face in the crook of Jasper's neck. He rubbed her back slowly, whispering "hush, sweetie, it's gonna be okay."

"I just... I can't take this! I miss her! She's my sister and I need her here, too," she hiccupped through the dangerous sobs. Jasper kissed her forehead and stroked her cheek, offering her a sad smile.

"I know, Ali, but they will find her."

Suddenly, my phone began to blare in my pocket. All of our heads snapped up as I fumbled with the touch screen. It was an unknown number from La Push. Most likely one of the cops.

"Hello?"

"Edward, it's Paul. We're at Jacob's now, and the old BMW isn't on the property. We're sending a memo out to keep an eye out for it. We got a call from a police station in Ryderwood that Phil's car was found abandoned in a motel parking lot there. That's about 3 and a half hours southeast from here, so we at least know what direction he headed when he first left. Also, Kate and Harry got some fairly helpful information from the bartender at 'corked.' They can tell you about it first thing in the morning, but we're all headed home for the night. Gotta rest if we're gonna find her."

I rubbed the back of my neck, my heart pounding in hope. I was elated at the news, a huge smile growing on my face.

"Do you think he's in that area?"

"Most likely not. The staff at the motel said he checked out about 3 weeks ago. He either got picked up by someone, or hitchiked somewhere. This is good stuff, though."

"Good, I'm glad, thank you guys."

"Edward, are you drunk?" He was honestly chuckling. I was trying not to slur, but I couldn't help it at this point.

"Why do you ask?"

"You're underage and talking to a police officer on the phone." He was laughing even harder now. I heard Sam chuckling in the background.

"Well, you 2 would be complete dickheads to enfore a stupid law on someone who decided to get drunk the night his fucking girlfriend is kidnapped," I seethed.

"Relax, man, we're fucking with you," he laughed again. "See you in the morning." He hung up before I could even respond.


	23. Chapter 22

A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS FRIENDS! I hope Santa was good to you guys, and I hope you had a great Holday with loved ones :) I wanted to release this chapter yesterday as a Christmas gift to you all, but I didn't have time between my boyfriend's family's Christmas dinner, as well as my sister's. Sorry :( anyway, I hope you enjoy! This chapter is short, but a real plot-builder! Let me know what you think please and thank you :)

disclaimer: I do not own twilight!

BPOV:

"Why the fuck isn't she waking up yet, Billy?! Jacob gave her that shit nearly 6 hours ago."

"Relax, Phil, it will take a while to wear off. That shit was strong."

"Well how fucking long is it gonna take?! I've been waiting over a month for this."

"And you can wait another couple more hours. Now, relax."

"Don't tell me what to do, Billy."

"Bullshit! If it wasn't for Jacob and I, you would never have gotten her back. Now, show us some respect."

"My intentions were not to disrespect you. I'm just frustrated."

"Go pour yourself another drink, then."

I slowly opened my eyes, my heart pounding with the familiar fear before I even knew where I was. I opened them just a smidge, enough to go unnoticed. I could make out Phil, pacing back and forth at the foot of the bed I was lying on. I could also see Billy Black, sitting on a couch across the room, smoking a cigarette. I didn't need to open my eyes anymore to discover that I was in a motel. The entire room reeked of stale beer and cigarettes.

I couldn't help but make my conciousness known when I realized I was tied to the bed by dirty ropes. I gasped, trying to break free of the clutches. I felt the tears roll down my cheeks faster than I even thought possible. My fragile being could not handle spending another second of my life with Phil. I couldn't help but allow the hopelessness to sink deep into my system like a plague.

How could I ever be so stupid to believe that I could lead a normal life? That I could find friends... and love? None of those things are meant for a broken, useless girl like me. The fact that I even let myself feel happiness is a fucking disgrace.

"Ah, ah, ah... don't even try, Isabella," Phil murmured, a wicked smirk planted on his face as he watched me try to rid myself of the ropes. He looked different. He was normally bald-headed, but, now, he had a little bit of light brown hair. He grew a full beard, as well, and traded his contact lenses for a pair of glasses that looked older than me. Obviously trying to disguise himself. He must know the authorities are looking for him.

"Please..." I began, not knowing what else to say.

He sat at the foot of my bed, patting my knee in mock affection. My stomach coiled the minute he touched me. "Isabella, I've missed you very much. I'm so glad we're reuinted! We all know it's meant to be this way."

"Phil-"

"Silence!" He interrupted. "Don't speak unless I say you can, got it? You portrayed disobedience in the greatest manner. You left me, after all those times I promised you that you would regret it if you did such a thing. Did you really assume it would be that easy? That I didn't have tricks up my sleeve in order to get you back? Preposterous!"

"I'm sorry-"

"Do not lie to me, Isabella. You've done enough damage. I suggest you act in ways to make up for what you've done to me, instead of the opposite."

I simply nodded as the tears continued to fall.

"Alas, we are together, again, and it will stay that way until your heart stops beating. Now, I need to know, why did you leave me?"

"I... I don't know."

He suddenly slapped me across the face, the sound bouncing off the walls. I bit my lip in a pathetic effort to stop my cries of pain. I hadn't felt his abuse for quite some time, and my body grew used to living without it. "Bullshit! Tell me! Why did you leave me?" He began punching me wherever he deemed necessary. My face, my stomach, my neck. I took blow after blow, squeezing my eyes shut and thinking of anything but the agony rippling through my body with a greater force than I even knew was possible. Suddenly, I felt a deep sting in my arm as a cold blade swiftly glided across the skin. I looked down and saw blood trickling out of my forearm. It wasn't a lot. I knew Phil's intentions were not to kill me - yet. I trembled in pain as I watched him place the knife on the bedside table before giving me one last kick to the ribs. I imagined Edward's face in my head, hoping it would bring me some sort of peace. I saw his crooked grin, and his ruffled hair. I saw his twinkling green eyes, and the hard structure of his jaw.

He began punching again, only stopping when he was gasping for air, giving himself a workout by beating me senseless. I watched with heavy eyes as he began swigging from a bottle of whiskey before unconciousness won.

I opened my eyes, sensing sunlight pouring into the room through the thin, blue curtains cast over the windows. I groaned at the immediate pain the second my body became aware again. I was sore everywhere, all my limbs hurt from the insane beating Phil gave me. I warily looked around the room and saw nobody but Jacob. He was sitting on the bed next to mine, staring at me with a terrifying grin on his face.

"Finally, you're awake."

"W-what's going on?"

"Phil and my Dad went to pick up a few things. They left me here to supervise you."

"I don't need supervision," I spat.

He began laughing loudly. "Oh, Bella, you're funny."

"Why are you and your Dad even a part of this?! Do you know how much trouble you 2 will be in when you go back home?"

His laughing just increased. "Why would you even think we're going back there? You really are stupid! Of course we know what trouble we could be in. That's why we're not going back. Ever."

"How could that work?"

"You do know that Phil's parents were extremely wealthy, and he inherited millions after they passed, right? You have to know that. They're the ones who paid your mother's endless hospital bills. Your mother left him a nice chunk of money, too. Phil is going to provide us with new, better lives in exchange for our contribution to the act of keeping you here. We are going to help him make sure you never get away. In return, my father and I will never have to lift a finger again. Also, we don't have to go back to that good-for-nothing town again. Food, clothes, shelter... all provided by Phil... or shall I say his parents... and your Mom."

"But the police are looking for him... don't you think they've frozen his accounts or something? He can't just keep accessing that money."

"He has hired many people to help him transfer his money around so it can be accessed and untraced. You must know that he is a smart man, and all of this is thought out. He even has fake ID's for all of us."

i began grasping at straws. "They'll find us."

"i highly doubt that."

"Where are we going to go?"

"You'll find out."

Before I could even respond, he sauntered towards my bed and sat down far too close to me. "Enough with the bullshit talking." He rolled his tired eyes as I sunk deeper into the raggedy blanket surrounding me. It smelled of sweat and alcohol, but I gladly accepted its protection from the cold and Jacob's prying, perverted eyes.

He chuckled darkly before waltzing across the room and sitting on the outdated couch, sipping from a beer bottle while turning the television on. I silently fought against the ropes, hoping I could find a way to free myself and make a run for it. Unfortunately, they were far too tight - any move I made caused the roughness of the ropes to dig into my skin, my wrists turning red from the friction.

If I was going to get out of here, I needed answers. Jacob seemed to be the only one who could even stand to talk to me, even if he was a rapist. I couldn't stand speaking to him, or looking at him, but I was out of options. I had to swallow the pain I felt every time I saw him.

"We can't stay in this motel forever, ya know," I began.

"Obviously. We got that covered."

"Where are we going?"

"Oh, please, you know I'm not going to tell you. Quit wasting your breath."

"It's my life we're talking about, here," I retorted angrily.

"In case you can't tell, the value of your life means nothing to any of us. You're just our slave at this point. That's all you'll ever be."

"You're how old again, Jacob? 16? Do you really wish to spend the rest of your life in the presence of nobody but Phil, me and your father? You have many long years ahead of you."

He glared at me, the hatred evident in his dark eyes. "Stop pretending you have the power to make me second guess this choice. Believe me, I thought it through many times. No going back now. So, stay the hell out of my head."

"What happens 30 years from now, when Phil and Billy are dead?"

"Then you will be all mine, officially."

"I will never be yours."

"Considering my cum was on your body last night, I beg to differ."

"I didn't fucking ask for that, you dog," I snapped, the anger rising to my voice.

"Do you think I fucking care about technicalities?"

"I don't think you care about anything."

"I just don't care about you or your pathetic sob story. I hated the pathetic life I lived in La Push. If leaving there means I have to make your life a living hell for someone's else's benefit, then so be it. Got it?"

I shut my mouth, fearing what he may do if I make him more mad. I stared at the wall, trying desperately to think of anything that could help me get out of here. However, I found myself thinking to Edward and the rest of the Cullen's. How are they handling my disappearence? Do they think I ran, or do they know I've been kidnapped? Are they looking for me? I know Edward has to be. There was no way he was faking the love in his eyes every time he looked at me. I know he is searching in every way that he can. I can feel it in my soul. I just feared he wouldn't want me anymore if he found me like this.

About 30 minutes later, Phil and Billy returned with bags in their hands. They set the bags on the round table in the corner of the room. One of the bags had the McDonald's logo on it, and my stomach immediately growled at the scent of greasy food. I believe it has been at least a full 24 hours since I'd last eaten, which was at Jasper and Rosalie's after a night of drinking. I sighed, the pain in my chest increasing at the thought of my friends.

Suddenly, Phil untied me for the first time. I thanked him profusely while he threw the McDonald's bag at my feet.

"You need to eat something. You're here to serve us, not die on us."

A big cheeseburger and countless fries awaited for me in the bag. I licked my lips before digging in, moaning softly at the taste. At least I knew they would feed me.

As I listened to my 3 kidnappers snore heavily in the night, I lie wide fucking awake. I stared out the window, wishing Phil could untie me so I could at least look outside. All I wanted was to see the stars. The same ones that shined brightly above Edward and I the night we confessed our love for one another. A memory that seemed so distant, yet so close that I could almost feel his arms around me, his lips pressed against mine. I felt the silent tears rolling down my cheeks as my heart - yet again - broke in my chest.

I could literally feel my right wrist twitching for a pen. I was dying to write right now. I had endless emotions that I needed to come to terms with, and writing seemed to be the only way to do that. Particularly, I wanted to write to Mom.

The past month had been absolutely perfect, and I was beginning to believe it was all because of Mom. I truly felt as though she changed the course of my life.

Now, I knew that was not true. Because, if Mom was controlling my life, she would not have allowed this to happen. She would have protected me at all costs. She would never have married Phil if she knew he would turn into this ruthless monster after her death.

I continued to stare at the walls, wondering what would be next. I truly had no clue where I was. Phil had mentioned that I was unconcious for nearly 6 hours after Jacob had drugged me. That means we could easily be in Oregon or Western Washington. I didn't believe there were any other options. Idaho was the only other state touching Washington, but that would be over 7 hours of driving from La Push. The math couldn't add up.

I wished I had another clue, but nothing was coming to mind, and I began feeling helpless again. I didn't want to give up hope - mostly, for Edward - but I feared that it may become my only option. It seemed as though Phil had a solid plan, one that would be nearly impossible to escape from. I would have to try. The only solid thing I could think of at the moment would be to yell for help the second we left the motel. However, that could only be possible if they didn't drug me before we left, like Jacob had done yesterday. Would they drug me, though? That would mean they would have to carry my unconcious body to the car, which could rouse suspicion if anyone were to see.

Jacob rolled over in his sleep and wrapped a heavy arm around me. I wiggled beneath him, hoping to wake him up enough for him to turn the other way. Of course the sleeping arrangements just had to be made this way. Phil took the other bed, and Billy slept on the pull-out couch in the corner of the room.

I glanced over at the alarm clock on the bedside table. 3:47 AM, and I have not slept yet. I did my very best to stay awake, to be honest, because this was the only time I felt peace. During the day, I would either be beaten by Phil or - maybe - raped by Jacob. When all 3 monsters were asleep, I was able to be - in a sense - alone.

Sleep must have finally claimed me, because when opened my eyes in the morning, the sun was shining brightly through the curtains. My body was immensely sore from the beating from Phil and another rape from Jacob. I could feel every single limb begging for ice. Sigh. If only it were that easy. I closed my eyes quickly, hoping to catch any sort of information while I continued to feign sleep. I could hear Billy and Phil chatting.

"I can't wait to finally be out of here and have a real bed," Billy grunted, his voice rough and gloomy.

"Don't worry, Billy. We will leave here soon."

"How soon?"

"When everything is prepared," Phil huffed in annoyance.

"How long is it going to take this guy to get the cabin ready for us?"

"He has a long drive there that he completes almost every day for us. Have some respect," Phil snarled, defending whatever friend they were speaking of.

"Oakridge is not all that far from his house, Phil."

"Laurent is doing a great deed for us, so I wouldn't whine, if I were you."

My heart began to leap with hope. I now had some solid information that they did not know I had. I had to act as if I knew nothing, though, or the consequences would be terribly severe.

My only hope was that, somehow, the authorites would discover that Phil kept me in this motel while we waited for this so-called cabin to be ready. Even though it was a vain hope, I couldn't live with myself if I did nothing. I had to leave a clue in this motel about the cabin, just in case they found out we were here. How, though? I was tied up except for the luxuries of eating and using the bathroom. I have not seen a pen or paper in sight this entire time. I had to figure out a way to leave a clue before this cabin was ready and we made our way there.

A few minutes later, I decided to make it known that I was awake, because I wanted to look around the room for anything that could help me.

"Good, the bitch is finally up. Take my shoes and polish them," Phil threw his muddy boots at the foot of my bed, along with a rag and some polish. He untied me and I got to work right away as him and Billy watched. Jacob sat with his eyes glued to the TV, watching some sort of action movie.

I sneakily looked around the room, but found nothing in my search. I begged the tears not to fall as I berated myself for being such a failure. I would truly hate myself even more if I could not find a way to leave a clue.

After I was done polishing his boots, Phil allowed me to take a shower, as long as Jacob stayed in the bathroom with me to make sure I didn't "misbehave." As much as I wished that wasn't the case, I was still extremely glad to be able to take a shower. I was really starting to fucking reek. I hopped up and ran into the bathroom, Jacob following me with an arrogant smirk on his face. I undressed with my back to him.

"Turn around so I can see more of that smokin' bod, babe."

I ignored him and stepped into the shower. I grabbed a tiny bottle of shampoo and lathered it through my hair, stifling the moan that almost escaped my body when feeling the hot water ease my aching muscles. The hot water helped melt some stress and soreness from my body and down the dirty drain.

I tried as hard as I could to ignore the fact that Jacob was sitting just outside the shower curtain while I should have been left alone. Occasionaly, he would reach into the shower and try to grab me. He was mocking me, laughing loudly in his sick enjoyment. I did my best to cower in the corner, but there were only so many places to hide in a fucking motel shower.

I tried to stall and remain in the tiny shower as long as possible. I stood there and thought of Edward. I hoped he could find me somehow, because I couldn't possibly live without him much longer. My heart was crying for him. Every single part of my body was filled with emotional and physical pain. I would surely become nothing if I couldn't go back to him. There was no way in fucking hell that I should survive without his arms around me. Without his lips pressed against mine so softly, so delicately as if I would break.

"Even though you're an annoying bitch, you're gorgeous," Jacob grinned as I shut the water off and wrapped a white towel around myself. I cast my eyes downward and dressed with shaky hands.

Billy and Jacob stepped outside to give Phil and I some "time alone." They sat in the chairs outside our room, puffing on cigarettes as Phil began to attack me again.

"I swear to fucking God, Isabella, that I will beat you every single day until the day I die. That's the least you deserve for leaving me the way you did. You're a fucking retard, you know that? Your precious Cullen's are probably thankful you're out of their hair. You were just a charity case to them, and some easy, broken girl for your little Edward to take advtange of."

Phil could say anything he wanted about me, but never the Cullen's. Not on my watch. "You don't know them. They were greater people than you could only wish to be."

I suddenly remembered that I could scream for help once I saw Phil reaching for the duct tape. I let out one tiny scream that lasted maybe a second before Phil clamped the duct tape around my mouth and turning the TV on full volume. Nobody would hear my cries now.

"How dare you talk back to me, you stupid cunt?! You are NOTHING! Do you hear me?! Nothing!" He whipped me with a belt numerous times while my body convulsed in pain. I choked on my sobs as I felt the torterous pain encompass me. I only remember Phil's disgusting breath spewing venom on my face before I blacked out.

I opened my eyes to find the room undisturbed by my captors, who were all sound asleep scattered around the smelling room. The TV was left on. A horror movie was playing, and I watched as the actress ran away from a serial killer with a chainsaw. I fucking envied her. At least she was just acting. Once the director yells "cut," she is able to smile and go home to her family. To her loved ones.

Heavy snoring came from different directions of the room. My head was pounding with major pain from Phil's beating. I groaned as my eyes found the alarm clock. 1:55 AM.

My left hand was handcuffed to the bed while my right hand was left free. I glanced down at my wrist, examining the damage from fighting against the ropes. I scowled, looking around for anything that could help cut through the handcuffs.

The knife Phil had used to stab me with last night was sitting on the bedside table next to me. I pondered attempting to cut through the cuffs, but I knew that would not work. The knife was far too dull. If only I was tied up by ropes, like before, then I could easily cut through with the knife and make an escape. Of course life is not that simple. At least, no they for me.

Suddenly, the gears began turning in my head. Wooden bedside table... knife... that's it!

The TV was left on, so I knew it would assist in keeping the sounds I was about to make muffled. As quietly as I could, I carved what little information I knew into the table.

Oakridge

Cabin

Laurent

-IMS

I even carved my initials so they knew it was me, if someone were to even find it. I moved the alarm clock a few inches so it was placed over the note. I couldn't risk anyone here seeing it, but I knew they would never lift under the alarm clock. I carefully blew away the particles of wood I left in a trail next to the clue, hoping it would help me escape this life in any way, shape or form.


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: hello, my lovely readers :) I'm excited for you guys to read this here chapter. It's not as long as some of my previous ones, but it's important, of course! I really love writing in Edward's point of view! Let me know what ya think :)

disclaimer: I do not own twilight!

EPOV:

I could feel it in my very bones that she was alive. I just knew it. My brain, heart, mind and soul refused to accept anything else. Her and I would spend the rest of our lives together, no matter what. I would search for her forever if that's what it took. She belonged with me, safe and smiling in my arms.

All I cared about was her safety and happiness, and she didn't have either one of those at the moment. It made me so fucking sick to my stomach.

"Edward, have you gotten any sleep?" Mom asked as she approached me in the kitchen. It was a bit after 6 in the morning. Bella was in my arms 24 hours ago, sleeping with a peaceful smile on her face, where she was protected and loved. I choked back the tears that threatened to fall and turned towards Mom, planting a weak smile on my face.

"About an hour or 2."

She sighed, heartbroken, before sitting next to me at the island in the kitchen, wrapping her arm around my shoulder in comfort. "Honey, I know you're hurting, but please do everything you can to take care of yourself."

"I can't seem to do anything like that at the moment."

"Bella wouldn't want you like this. She would want you to do what's best for you."

"What's best for me is having her by my side, Mom. This fucked up situation is the very last thing that is best for me," I scoffed, staring into my mug of black coffee. Almost the same color as my Bella's eyes. Just not as warm or filled with love and strength. And, definitely not as captivating. I scowled and pushed my mug away from my sight. Everything reminded me of her and it fucking hurt.

"You think we don't know that, Edward? We know how you feel for her. I honestly thought you were in love with Jane. But, comparing the way you look at Bella to the way you looked at Jane... I do not think that was the case, anymore. Bella is your one and only. It pours out of you so easily, Edward. From your eyes, to your smile, to your attitude. You're in love."

I felt the tears prickling down my skin in a haste. I really thought I would be out of tears to cry by now, but I guess that was not the case. "Mom... I just... I need her."

"I know you do, baby, I know. She needs you, too, which is why she will come back to us," she cooed as she pulled me against her chest. I rested my head there and cried as she kissed the top of my head repeatedly. I felt her own tears fall onto the top of my head. I began sobbing uncontrollably, the pain and exhaustion taking another swing at me. Mom held me tightly in her arms and allowed my emotions to burst out of me like a geyser. The searing pain rippled through me like a current that was so strong, you could never make it back to shore. My heart was nothing but a hallow ghost, nothing without her. I would never be anything without my Bella by my side.

My crying finally subsided, but Mom didn't let me go. I pulled away from her, smiling sadly. "I don't know what to do, Mom. I don't know what road to take... where to turn. I'm so fucking lost, and I'm so fucking scared. I would fall apart if anything happened to her."

"As much as it hurts, many aspects of this problem are out of your control. At this point, all there is to do is let the police do what they can. You can only do so much, Edward."

"It just doesn't feel right."

"What do you mean?"

"That I can only do so much in a situation that includes the girl I love being in danger."

"Oh, dear, I know it is hard. I can't imagine what is going through your head at the moment, but you must understand that you are only human. You're barely 18, baby. You're not supposed to have all the answers," she mumbled as she brushed some hair away from my forehead with concern in her light brown eyes. She looked truly broken: she saw Bella as a daughter and was clearly distraught over losing her.

"Well, someone has to, and I'm the one who should be protecting her most," I croaked, feeling the hopelessness parade through my body, yet again. What kind of a man allows the woman he loves to be taken by such terrible people? I don't deserve Bella at all.

"Like I said, you're doing everything you can. She is lucky to have someone like you."

"I'll believe that when I get her back," I vowed in a small breath.

Alice and our friends woke up a couple hours after I did, each of them looking as if they hadn't slept at all. The weight of their emotions was evident in their eyes and the expressions on their faces, the way they carried themselves. Everyone seemed to be wearing heavy bags of stress under their eyes. It was like we were all zombies - the life sucked out of us the second Bella disappeared.

"What can we do today? Anything else in mind that might help?" Emmett asked after taking a big gulp of coffee.

"It doesn't help that we don't know Phil or his little followers," Jasper spat with venom in his voice.

"Well, I'm going to the La Push police station in a few minutes, if anyone wants to join," I offered.

They all agreed with no hesitation. Mom and Dad were coming, too. We piled into separate cars and raced over there through the rain.

"Did you take your pain medicine, Edward?" Dad asked in his doctor-voice as he maneuvered his car through the streets with ease.

Shit. I completely forgot I even broke my hand. I've been so consumed by my emotional pain, that the physical pain is past the point of registration. There is no more room in my body for any other pain besides the loss of Bella. "Er, no."

"Edward," he began to scold. "You need to get that hand healed up."

"Well, those meds aren't for the type of pain I'm looking to ease."

He sighed dejectedly. "I know, but you still have to take them. If not for yourself, do it for your mother and I. And Bella. We're worried about you, and she would be, as well."

"He's right, Edward," Mom chimed in.

I understood their concern, but I just wished they would realize that I didn't give 2 fucks about my hand. I could break every bone in my body and I wouldn't even notice. There was nothing for me to focus on besides finding Bella. How could they think I even had room in my mind to think about anything else?

The rest of the drive to La Push was spent in silence. I flew my door open - to the best of my ability with my good hand - and practically ran inside the building.

Kate, Sam, Paul and Harry were seated in the same back corner, each looking at monitors and paperwork.

"What's new?" I asked the second they were in hearing range. My friends and family looked at them with eager expressions on their faces, waiting for answers they may or may not want to hear.

"We spoke to the bartender at corked. He said Phil definitely does not own a cabin, it was just an idea he had. We can't see any property in his name other than his house in Forks. He also said Phil and Bree Tanner have been broken up for a few months now. Sam and Paul are going to head over to her place today to see what she knows. Billy Black's car is still the only one we cannot seem to find. We just sent out a memo to many stations in Washington to watch out for the old BMW in the Black's garage. We are very certain he either took Bella in that car, or Billy's. We don't have a license plate or registration under Billy or Jacob for that BMW, though," Kate filled us in.

"So, basically, we don't really have anything new," I huffed.

"Not exactly. All information is helpful in a case like this," Harry explained.

"None of it seems like enough, though. They could be anywhere," Emmett spoke up.

"We understand that. We're doing what we can," Paul grunted in annoyance.

"Can I come with you? To speak with Bree Tanner?" I looked to Paul and Sam.

"Since I feel real sorry for ya, kid, sure," Sam agreed.

"What about us? Can we come?" Dad asked.

"We shouldn't bring an entire squad of people. We don't know her feelings at the moment towards Phil. We don't want to scare her off or overwhelm her. The rest of you are welcome to stay here at the station and do whatever you can. Edward, we will be leaving in 5 minutes."

"Edward will be safe, right?" Mom inquired, concern written on her face.

Paul chuckled. "Yeah, he'll be fine."

"Alright, I'm ready whenever you guys are, then."

The drive to Bree's took a good hour. I sat in the back of the police cruiser, feeling the same way a person would who actually belongs in this backseat. Lost, confused, angry, helpless. I watched as the - now leafless - trees blew in the wind, the rain hitting them with force.

"What if she's not there?" I asked.

"We got a hold of her phone number and called. She said she will be home," Paul explained.

I nodded my acceptance.

"You still look like hell, kid. Did you sleep at all?" Sam looked at me through the rearview mirror.

"Barely."

They left me alone the rest of the drive, filling the tense silence with old rock music from the radio. Paul drummed his fingers against the dash, clearly impatient with the boredom.

We pulled up to a little one-story house in a quiet neighborhood on the outskirts of Port Angeles. It was homey, and welcoming. I can't imagine someone like that dating Phil.

We knocked on the door and waited until a short, slender woman with a small smile on her face opened up. She had long, dark hair that was thick and frizzy with dark eyes to match. She looked to be younger than Phil - maybe in her mid-30's, while Phil was in his mid-40's.

"Hello, gentleman. Please come in." She stepped aside to make room for us. We entered and sat in the quaint living room, forcing an orange cat to flee in fear.

"Don't worry, Bo is very shy. Would you guys like anything to drink?" She offered.

"I think some waters would be great," Sam said.

She returned with the waters and sat on the sofa next to me, while Sam and Paul sat on the opposite sofa, facing us. They immediately pulled notepads out of their shirt pockets and clicked their pens to life.

"First, we want to thank you for speaking with us. I'm Paul, this is my partner, Sam. The kid is the boyfriend of Phil's stepdaughter, and he wanted to come along and speak with you, as well. Name's Edward."

She patted my knee in comfort. "I'm so sorry about Bella, sweetie. I will give whatever information you need that may help." I could only offer a tiny smile in return.

"So, when and where did you meet Phil Dwyer?"

"At a pub in town, about a year ago. I remember it was in between Halloween and Thanksgiving."

"Did you become romantic right away?"

"No, that didn't happen until after Christmas."

"Were you serious or just - for a lack of better words - fooling around?"

She sighed, wearing a heavy frown. "I guess you could say somewhere in the middle. We agreed not to see other people, but we never spoke about the future. Kind of living in the moment type of deal."

"Had he ever mentioned Bella to you?" I interrupted, even though I probably shouldn't have, since this was technically official police work. I just couldn't help myself.

"Yes, a few times. He said he had a stepdaughter who he was the sole guardian of. He described her as shy and nerdy, always reading and doing homework. But, he never, ever spoke badly of her. He must have been a great actor, because he spoke as if he loved her like his own."

Her words caused fire to spread in my system. How dare he put on a charade, acting as if he took care of Bella? He did nothing but destroy everything about her.

"Did he ever mention you meeting her?" Sam asked.

She shook her head. "No, which kind of told me how he felt about our relationship. I figured - if he was serious about me - he would offer to introduce me to his daughter."

"Have you ever met any of his friends?"

"Yes, many. He seemed to be very well-liked in Forks. I drove over a lot and went to the bar with him. He seemed to know everyone."

"Were these people aqcuaintences, or did he actually sit and speak with them?"

"Mostly just saying hello. He had one particular friend that came from out of town to visit him. The 3 of us were in the bar that entire weekend he stayed in Forks until the bar closed, chatting with him. I've never seen Phil talk so much in my life. I remember him because his name was interesting. Laurent."

"How does he know him?" I asked.

"He never said. I just know he isn't from around here, I think he said he was from somewhere in Oregon - the southwest part of the state."

Suddenly, Paul and Sam seemed excited, their eyes lighting up as if they had found buried treasure after years of searching for it. "Do you know his last name? We feel as though Phil could be in Oregon. His car was found abandoned in a motel parking lot on the way there."

She frowned, a look of guilt in her eyes. "I never got his last name. I just know he was African American, maybe closer to Phil's age than mine. He had long dreadlocks and was rather tall. Phil spoke very highly of him - I could tell they were close friends."

"This could be it! It makes sense. Phil would obviously run to someone close to him, who also isn't from Forks. Nobody would ever know him," Paul said, and his enthusiasm caused hope to wash over me like a hot shower. Could this really be it? Could this Laurent be the answer to all of our questions?

"Were they close enough for Laurent to risk harboring a fugitive?" Sam inquired, quirking a thick brow.

"It truly seemed that way."

"Did you get any type of violent vibe from either of them?"

"Honestly - no. That's why I was so shocked to hear of what Phil had done to Bella."

They nodded their understanding while I felt my thoughts race through my mind faster than I could even stop to comprehend them. Did this Laurent person have anything to do with Bella's disappearance? If so, what exactly is his role? What if he has nothing to do with it, and we could be wasting our time? The stress of my worries was really beginning to take a huge toll on me. I felt like I couldn't even think straight anymore.

After discovering that Bree must not have much more knowledge, Sam and Paul decided we had hounded her enough.

"Edward, wait!" She called after me once Sam and Paul shuffled outside towards the car.

I turned back around, facing her. "What is it?"

She sighed, and a clouded look appeared in her eyes. "Don't give up, okay? I see the pain you're going through, and I can see in your eyes that you truly love her. Don't let him win, got it?"

I nodded. "I never planned to."

"She is lucky, to have someone like you so worried about her."

"I think she is the furthest thing from lucky."

"Well, she has you, so I don't think that's true. Take care of yourself, Edward. I wish I could do more to help. If you think of anything, please don't hesitate to call me. Sam and Paul have my number."

I nodded and offered a weak smile. She graced me with a small hug before I surrendered myself to the rain, hoping the information she gave us on Laurent could be of help.

The cops wanted to get some information on Laurent as soon as we got back to the station. The questions whirling around in my brain combined with the lack of sleep were putting me into a state of exhaustion that I didn't even know existed. I shuffled inside mechanically, spotting my family and friends next to Kate and Harry in the corner.

"How'd it go?" Dad asked.

"Bree told us about a close friend of Phil's - Laurent - who lives in Oregon. We want to put him into our system and see what we could find. Since Phil's car was found abandoned on the way to Oregon, we think he could play a part in this," Sam explained as he began typing on his computer.

"Sounds great," Kate smiled warmly.

"Why don't you go home and sleep, Edward? You look like death, and you know we'll call if anything comes up," Paul suggested as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

I wanted to protest - to tell them that I will never rest until my Bella was found - but I was so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open. I merely nodded and allowed my family and friends to take me home.

Once I got inside, I trotted slowly towards the stairs and up to Bella's room. If I was going to sleep at all, it needed to be in her bed, where I was surrounded with her smell and the warmth that she seemed to leave in her wake.

I collapsed onto her bed, pulling the covers around me tightly. In a matter of seconds, I was out cold.

By the time I woke back up, it was completely dark in Bella's room. We returned from the station around 1 PM, so I must have been asleep for at least 4 hours. I checked my phone: 6:13 PM.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes in a daze before slowly padding towards Bella's bathroom. I hopped in the shower and grabbed her strawberry shampoo, opening the lid and inhaling the familiar scent. My eyes begin the swim with tears immediately after my brain recognized the smell. I inhaled it so many times that I was afraid my sense of smell would stop working.

I tiredly collapsed on the shower floor, clutching the shampoo bottle tightly to my chest as if it were Bella herself. I welcomed the tears as the sobs racked my body. Thank God Dad provided me with a state-of-the-art waterproof cast.

I sobbed for what felt like hours, her face present every time I closed my eyes. My heart tore in my chest, feeling as though it was only hanging on by a thread. I tried to think of anything - anything at all - that might help bring her back, but came up with nothing.

How could I allow this to happen? How many fucking times did I promise her that I would always protect her? That I would never let anything or anyone hurt her ever again? How many times did I look her in the eye and tell her she was safe as long as I was alive?

How many lies did I tell her?

She must hate me. I promised that Phil would never be a part of her life again and I failed her. I failed her just the same way that he had. I told her I loved her, and how did I show it? By allowing her to be abducted by a sick fucker.

And the winner of this year's "world's worst boyfriend" award goes to... Edward Cullen!

I felt sick to my stomach because of my immense failure. I always knew I was undeserving of Bella, but now it was even more evident. She probably wants nothing to do with me once she comes home. Would I be able to handle that much more heartbreak? Probably fucking not.

I stepped out of the shower and glanced at myself in the mirror after wiping the steam away. A hallow man glanced back at me. The pain in his eyes was truly frightening. There was rage in his eyes, too. A burning rage, one that would easily scare anyone away. I've never seen that's look on my own face. Probably because I've never felt the need to kill anyone until I came across Phil Dwyer. Now, Billy Black and his disgusting son were added to my hit list. I would make sure they paid for what they have done.

What methods of torture would I use? The classic "break every single bone slowly and painfully while they begged for death?" Maybe. But, that didn't seem like enough. I thought back to a fucked up horror film I watched with Emmett one time. It was about a demon who possesses children to kill their families in the most gruesome way they could think of.

Let's see... one child hung her family upside-down and fed them to crocodiles. Another placed rats on their parents' stomachs and covered the rats with a bucket, so they would eat through their bodies. Another child strapped his family members to lawn chairs and pushed them into the pool.

All of those were such horrid ways of torture that I could barely watch the film. But, now, they seemed to lack the amount of pain and gore that I wanted Phil, Billy and Jacob to endure.

I glanced down and noticed my knuckles turning white because of the way I grasped onto the counter. Almost as if I was holding on for dear life.

I guess I was.

I headed downstairs and found Mom, Dad and Alice sitting in the living room. The TV was on, but none of them were watching it. They sat still with emotionless expressions on their faces, all 3 of them staring at nothing in particular.

Once they heard me approach, all their heads whipped in my direction. I offered them a weak smile.

"How did you sleep, honey?" Mom asked.

"As well as possible, I guess. What have you guys been up to?" I asked as I sat on the sofa next to Alice.

"Absolutely nothing. We just... don't even know what to do," Dad mumbled.

"It feels wrong without her... Everything feels wrong. Eating dinner, watching movies. We can't do any of it, Edward. She's a part of this family," Alice added, her voice just above a whisper.

"She needs to come home," I uttered pathetically, looking down at my hands in my lap.

"We will bring her home. She is my daughter, and I will not stop until she is found," Dad vowed.

"But what are we supposed to do, Carlisle? Where do we turn? We don't have enough information to find her," Mom muttered sadly.

"That's why we keep looking!" He contradicted.

"We're trying! We're doing what we can, but it will never feel like enough," Mom began to cry, and Dad pulled her into his side, stroking her hair softly. He looked around the room frantically, as if the answers we needed were written on the walls. If only that was the fucking case.

"We will find her, everyone. I know we will. Please, do not give up hope," Dad said, and I looked down at my broken hand, the white of the cast taunting me, as if it were telling me that I should just give up hope.


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: hello friends :) sorry it's been a few days, I've been terribly busy! I hope everyone is having a happy new year so far!

I know you all are itching for your favorite pair to be reunified. The only thing I will say is to stay patient ;) please remember to review!

Disclaimer. I do not own twilight!

BPOV:

"Isabella, wake your lazy ass up this instant! We are going NOW!" Phil's scruffy voice paraded it's way into my ears like an alarm clock going off at 5 AM. I inwardly grumbled and threw my hands over my tired, sore face, attempting to hide my already-weak eyes from the blinding light of the sun.

"Oh, come on, bitch! Don't act like you're too injured to move a single muscle in that pathetic body of yours," he scoffed, rolling his eyes at me. I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at him. "Our ride will be here in 10 minutes."

I watched warily as the Black's shoved the small amount of belongings they had into tiny, beat-up duffel bags. I huffed, totally unprepared to relocate. I felt that every step I took away from Forks, the futher my chances of being found became. I needed the small shred of hope I still clutched onto the same way I needed air.

The same way I needed Edward.

I thought of him with every pathetic, weak gust of air that soared in and out of my tired body. I was terrified to continue without him, let alone with these sick motherfuckers. What have I ever done to deserve this? I behaved, maintained good grades, respected everyone that deserved it. So, why on Earth was I constantly treated worse than a pile of dog shit under a 5-year-old pair of Nike trainers?

I moved mechanically as the monsters rummaged around the room in a rush, acting as though a bomb was about to go off. Hell, for all I knew, maybe there was. I would accept it at this fucking point. Go ahead, take me out of my misery in whatever manner you choose. You have my permission.

Phil approached me with a large needle, and I shrieked as he swiftly forced it into my arm. I could feel the sharp medal penetrating each layer of my skin, and I yelped in pain. In a matter of seconds, I felt my vision grow blurry. I tried to remember what I could. I glanced over at the alarm clock and realized it had not been touched. That's all I needed to hold on to my short string of hope. I inwardly smiled before the wretched darkness consumed me.

When I finally came to, I found myself in a tiny bedroom. It smelled of woods and musk. The bed was small, but comfortable enough - especially because I wasn't sharing it with Jacob. I saw nothing but a bedside table and a small dresser accompanying the bed. I could hear voices and banging around coming from downstairs. I hopped out of bed as quickly as possible, heading towards the windows. I opened the curtains and was met with 2 windows, various steel bars placed vertically over each of them. Beyond the bars, I saw nothing but a forest. Endless miles of it. If I wasn't stuck in this situation, I would have thought that it was beautiful. I could hear birds humming around outside, the soft sound of wind whipping the countless trees in different directions. I scowled, not having any clue where I was. All I know is that it is a cabin in a place called Oakridge, from what I remember overhearing in the motel. Where is Oakridge, though? Washington? Oregon? Pennsylvania for all I fucking know? We could be anywhere in the god damned country. I have no idea what day or time it is anyway.

I quietly shuffled to the door and opened it. I saw numerous locks on the outside of my door, indicating that Phil would lock me in here. However, they weren't locked at the moment, or else I wouldn't be able to open the door. What were my chances of escape? Probably nonexistent: if I ran outside, he would probably shoot me down. I knew that for a fact. Or else, he would have kept me locked in here at the moment. To the left was another bedroom, to the right was 2 more bedrooms and a bathroom. I could make out Phil's voice coming from somewhere downstairs.

"This truly is perfect, Laurent. Thank you so much, again."

"Anything you need, my friend. The house is fully stocked with everything you could possibly need: food, toiletries, clothes, you name it - I have it here for you."

"And you're 100% sure nobody knows we're out here?"

"Positive."

Laurent. Who was this fucker? Did he own this cabin? Did he kill the owner in order to give Phil and the rest of us a secluded, unknown area? Did he know phil personally, or did Phil hire him? I suddenly felt like finding Jacob. Again, my mind was plagued with questions, and he seemed to be the only one to give me any sort of information, no matter how small.

"So, Phil, I will be back in 2 weeks with fresh food and whatever I feel you need. Maybe some movies and books?"

"That sounds great, Laurent. I will be sure to reimburse you for your troubles."

"$600 per every trip I take out here, plus reimbursement for the money I spend on supplies for you all. That is what we agreed on, no?"

"Yes, you are correct."

"Very well. Give me a ring if you need me earlier than 2 weeks from now. I will see what I could do." I heard a door creak open and then shut, the sound of an engine outside roaring to life before driving away, the hum of it getting further and further until it was nonexistent.

I didn't hear any more voices, just rummaging and banging of cabinets. I slowly shut the bedroom door and hopped back into bed as gingerly as possible, trying not to disturb my aching muscles. I glanced down at my body, horrified by the endless bruises that littered my skin in all different shapes and sizes. I wrapped my arms around myself in a pathetic attempt to hold myself together. There was no use. I knew I would fall apart anyway.

Would Edward be able to find me out here? God only knows where the fuck I even am. It seemed impossible for anyone to track this location. Would I really never see my Edward again? I didn't want to think that way - but I didn't know if I could even help it. I burst into tears, sobbing into my knees as I clutched them fiercely to my chest. What I wouldn't give to be in his arms right now. I closed my eyes and imagined him wrapping me into his embrace, stroking my hair and looking deeply into my eyes. I imagined him kissing every inch of my naked body, lathering me with a love that I didn't know could even exist.

"Isabella!" I heard Phil's voice roar from downstairs. I hastily wiped the tears from my eyes. "Get down here now!"

I hurriedly ran downstairs, where Phil was waiting at the bottom of the steps.

"Come here. I want to show you something." He placed his hands on my shoulders and guided me towards a tiny kitchen. He pushed me towards a door in the far corner, opening it with his dirty hands.

He flicked a switch and I looked inside, seeing a staircase. This must be the basement. We walked down as I glanced around warily. I saw absolutely nothing but a small, wooden chair in the middle of the room. It had random ropes hanging off ot it.

"Whenever you misbehave, this is where you will go. I figured you should get to know the place for a little, ya know? Since you're such a retard, you will most likely be spending a lot of time here." I hated the way his voice was so calm when speaking in such a terrible manner.

I couldn't imagine how crazy I would go sitting down here in the pitch dark, strapped by old ropes to a filty chair. I vowed to do everything in my power to keep these fuckers happy. I never wanted to be down here again.

Suddenly, Phil wrapped his arms around my waist like a snake and picked me up, placing me in the chair. I tried to shoot up the second he let me go, but Jacob appeared on the stairs, indicating that I had no way of escape. I felt tears prickling my eyes as Phil tied me into the chair by both arms and both legs.

"We will start off with your first punishment: leaving me. You will be left down here in the dark until it is time for you to make us some food." Phil kicked my shin after his little declaration before walking back upstairs. I watched with wide eyes as Jacob approached me slowly, grinning.

"Like it here so far?" He asked in a mocking tone.

"What the fuck kind of question is that?"

"You get sassier as the days go on. I like it, it's a turn on."

"Well, then I'll just keep my mouth shut from now on."

He chuckled, stalking closer to me. He reached out and ran his finger slowly from my temple down to my jaw. I shivered, recoiling from his touch. "In case you haven't noticed, you will do what we say."

I looked away, not willing to respond.

"Why so shy all the sudden?" He mused.

"You're asking terrible questions - questions you already know the answer to. I'm not going to waste my breath by answering them."

He didn't respond, so I continued. "Where are we?"

"In a magical land... far, far away..." he joked.

"Oh, quit the shit."

"You're the one going on and on about me asking dumb questions. You're asking questions that you know you will never get the answer to. So, who's wasting their breath now?" He smirked in a cocky manner, his lips twitching in amusement. I rolled my eyes, looking away.

"So, when are you gonna shut the fuck up and decide that being with me is your best option?" He asked.

"Ha! Like I could ever want someone like you."

He chuckled before walking upstairs, turning off the lights and shutting the door.

The room was now pitch-black, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. It was eerie, so terrifyingly eerie. I continued to cry as the hopelessness washed over me. Would I be able to escape? I knew that Phil would at least keep me locked in my bedroom during the night hours, when he was asleep and unable to catch me if I made a run for it. He seemed to trust himself enough to keep my door unlocked during the day. He was clearly confident in his ability to keep me from successfully escaping. That's why Jacob and billy are here - to help phil ensure I️ don't escape. I️t would be easily to escape from one person. But 3? Could I outsmart them? I️ was beginning to lose faith in myself in that department.

Actually, in all departments.

The only thing I was thankful for was the Cullen's safety. I was so terrified that they would get hurt during Phil's attempt to get me back. I worried about it every single day: someone from their loving family being sucked into my dark world. I felt bliss, knowing that they were not pulled into this. That Phil only went after me. I was the one who deserved it, after all.

This was just so odd for me. I was used to fear - I've dealt with it in many different forms: watching Mom slowly die, abuse from my stepfather. This was a different fear, though. This fear had barely any hope. This fear knew that my life was not going to be the same anymore. Living somewhere else, dealing with not one 1, but 2 abusive monsters. Billy was the only one I fucking liked at the moment. Obviously, he's not on my side, but he hasn't laid a hand on me once. Probably because he's in a wheelchair, but I'll take what I can get.

Did Phil truly think this entire scheme out? Were the 4 of us going to live here like a big, happy family until we all just die off? Did Phil really inherit enough money to make that work? I fucking hope not.

Jacob seemed to be completely confident in Phil's twisted plan. He claimed that everything was taken care of. I tried to think of a loophole. There had to be something that he was missing. The question is if I'm capable of finding it.

I was in the basement for 5 hours in the dark, getting colder and colder as the seconds passed, when Phil finally untied me so I could cook dinner. I hastily ran upstairs and got to work, prepared to make the best fucking dinner any of these idiots has ever seen. Anything to go up to a warm bed instead of the basement again.

While cooking, I noticed that the cabinets and the fridge were completely stocked. Endless amounts of canned goods were stacked on the shelves in the cabinets, as well as snacks and junk food. The fridge was filled with fruits and vegetables, juices, milk, eggs, and - of course - beer. The freezer attatched to the fridge was loaded with meats, as well as a freezer in the laundry room.

So, this Laurent person really did make sure we were fully taken care of, and - from what I heard while eavesdropping - he will continue to bring us more items every 2 weeks. I thought of a plan to attempt to stowaway in his car. Could that happen? I would have to put a lot of thought into a plan that risky. It was the only thing I could think of at the moment, though.

I prepared them with salmon with lemon zest on top, with a side of salad, garlic bread and mixed veggies. I even set the table with ice cold beers as a finishing touch.

Of course, I was only allowed to eat whatever the 3 of them didn't finish. This was a much better deal than when living at home with Phil, though. Now, I was given 3 people's leftovers instead of just 1.

Once they were satisfied and full, I put a frozen, pre-made apple pie in the oven before digging into whatever they didn't eat. It was a good amount - half a plate of mixed veggies and almost an entire full salmon. Most of the fish was scraps, but it looked to be the size of a full piece when I placed it all together in the plate.

Nobody bitched about my food or harmed me in any way, so I assumed they enjoyed their meals.

The 3 of them sauntered into the living room and began smoking cigarettes and drinking whiskey while I cleaned the kitchen, making sure it was nothing but spotless. I wanted to lay in that bed upstairs more than anything. Well, not more than laying with Edward... but, again, I'll take what I can fucking get.

I paraded upstairs and shut the door behind me, flopping onto the bed with excitement and pulling the covers around me as if I was protecting myself from the monsters downstairs.

I must have fallen asleep, because, when I opened my eyes, it was pitch black in my room and I didn't hear any noise coming from downstairs. I felt wetness in my pants, and scowled when realizing the date: my period was due now.

I hurriedly ran to the door, praying it was unlocked, and praying that this Laurent person considered the fact that a teenage girl would be here and stocked some tampons or pads in the bathroom. I was elated to find that the door was unlocked. I could escape then! I ran to the bathroom as quietly as possible, rummaging through the cabinets.

Thank you, Laurent.

I slipped a tampon in and grabbed the entire box, throwing it on my bed. If I was going to escape, I needed to bring things. Who knows how far I am from civilization?

I sat down, making a mental list in my head. I would need one of the duffel bags Phil brought, which I believe is in a closet in the kitchen. I would need plenty of water bottles, some extra clothes, food... if I have enough room in the bag, I will also need to include a blanket and some toilet paper.

The problem was, I have no idea how deep into the wilderness we are in. It could take me days to reach civilization. I would need food with plenty of protein. Maybe, I could even steal some meat, along with a lighter. I could make a fire and cook some chicken or fish. I needed to be strong and filled with energy to make it out alive.

I crept downstairs so I could start packing, but stopped in my tracks when I saw Phil sitting in the kitchen, a beer by his side. He was very still, gazing out the window at the rain.

So, that's why my bedroom door was unlocked. Phil was still awake and able to catch me if I tried to escape. It felt as though my heart was a balloon that just completely deflated in my chest. All hope was gone. Again.

"Isabella, what are you doing?" He asked. Actually, his tone wasn't menacing or scary at all. It sounded like he was simply curious.

Obviously, I could not tell him that I came down to steal food to runaway with. "I'm just thirsty," I mumbled shakily as I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

I was about to head back upstairs when he nodded his head towards the chair across from him. "Sit."

Of course, I did what I was told, fear running through me. I slyly glanced at the clock on the stove to see that it was 3:45 AM.

"I bet you have many questions, Isabella," he mused, his eyes never wavering from the trees outside. I swear he hasn't blinked at all, either. He was like an emotionless statue. He was calm. It was rather terrifying.

I nodded warily.

"Well, now, we will be living differently... so, how about we shake things up, then? I will answer some questions for you. But, only ones I wish to answer, obviously. There is a catch, though. You must tell me about that boyfriend of yours," he spat the word "boyfriend" as if it were some horribly contagious STD.

"O...okay..." I stuttered, confused. What the fuck is going on?

"I will not tell you where we are or anything like that. I will tell you why we are here, though. I will tell you why I feel the way I do towards you."

"You hate me," I breathed.

"Have you ever understood why?"

I shook my head.

"Isabella, you are a constant reminder of both of them."

"Who?"

"Your parents, obviously," he stated. His voice remained calm, his eyes were now trained on his beer bottle next to him, watching the condensation drip slowly down the side.

"You look so much like both of them. You have your father's dark hair and eyes, but your Mom's skin tone and smile. You have her tiny nose, too."

I stayed silent, not really sure what to say. This was the first time Phil and I had an actual conversation since before Mom died. My heart was pounding, waiting for him to burst in to a temper tantrum and attack me. I obviously expected that.

But, it truly seemed as though he just wanted to... talk. I couldn't stop the confusion from swarming around in my brain like an angry hive of bees. I couldn't, for the life of me, understand his intentions.

"You are a constant reminder of so many different things, Isabella."

"L-like what?" I stammered.

"One- you are the reason I do not have children of my own. I was in love with your Mother, and I didn't want babies with anybody else in the world, but her. She didn't feel the same. She said she didn't want any more kids, that one was enough. That's one of the reasons I just can't stand you, Isabella. Because you're not mine. You're his, and he is the reason I don't have any of my own. If she never met him, she would have wanted kids with me. I see him when I look at you, and it pisses me the fuck off. I hate him. I hate what he stole from me. I hate that he left you with me."

I scowled. None of this was truly my fault, so why the hell was I to be punished? It's not my fault that Mom didn't want any more kids. It's not my fault that she got pregnant with me. I never aked to be brought into this shitty world.

He continued. "Another reason- you look so much like her. It pisses me off. Sometimes, I see her when I look at you, but then I remember that it's not her, and I lose it. That's why I need you here, Isabella. Do you understand now? You are the closest thing in the world to her. You're half of her. I will hold onto whatever piece of her that I have, no matter what it takes."

I decided to find my voice and go along with it. Phil was actually telling me things I had always wondered. I would not lose this opportunity to learn as much as possible. Hell, maybe I could gain some information that could help me escape. "If I remind you of her, then why do you hurt me so much? Why do you do what you do to me, if I'm a part of her?"

He looked into my eyes. His were lifeless and dull. "Because you're not her."

Before I could ask anything else, he began asking about Edward. "Now, tell me about your little boyfriend... Edward."

I furrowed my brows heavily, not wanting to taint Edward by giving Phil any information about him. I had to do what he asked, though, or I knew I was in for the beating of a lifetime. Hell, at least Jacob couldn't rape me for the week, since I got my period. Unless he's a sick fucker who enjoys the blood...

"Answer me!" He bellowed, interrupting my thoughts.

"What do you want to know?"

"Why was he over that night, Isabella? Why did he come inside right after I beat the living shit out of you? Were you fucking him upstairs while I was gone? Did you call him for help when you heard me come home?"

"He came over a little bit before you came home. He was just visiting me."

"What would the son of a doctor want to do with a pathetic girl like you?" He chuckled, his words feeling like a stab right through the fucking chest, digging into my heart. I've always known that I was undeserving of Edward, but it hurt like hell to hear it from someone else's mouth. I was a fool to ever think otherwise. I was right from the very beginning: Edward did not belong in my world.

"We became friends while working on the project together," I mumbled in a small voice.

"I find that hard to believe. Who would want to be your friend?" He began stroking his beard in wonder, staring up at the wooden ceiling. "You were probably just prostituting yourself to him or something. Just another easy girl for him to fuck and throw aside."

I glared at him, the anger bubbling out of me before I could even attempt to tame it. "You don't know him. He would never do that. He doesn't treat people with disrespect. He doesn't hurt people, like you."

He began laughing manically, and I widened my eyes - terrified of what would happen next. His attitude towards Edward struck a nerve and I snapped. It was horribly stupid of me, but I couldn't stand the things he was saying about Edward. The wretched lies. Edward has the most beautiful soul out of any person in this entire world. How dare he question his motives? How dare he make him out to be a monster? Edward was the only thing that kept me together when I felt like falling apart.

He quickly reached across the table and punched me in the eye, my head cocking backwards faster than lightning. I immediately felt the horrid throbbing, clutching my eye as if it would help. He sauntered over to me before grabbing my neck and shoving me against the wall, boring his eyes into mine. I couldn't find air, and began panicking. He chuckled and threw me down on the ground as I coughed loudly, clutching my throat and begging silently for air. He kicked me swiftly in the ribs, making it even harder to breathe. I began having a panic attack when realizing how hard it was to find oxygen. My body grew tingly and hot, an uncomfortable feeling that I tried with all my strength to kick to the curb. I finally relaxed as Phil nonchalantly walked to the fridge, pulling a vanilla pudding out and eating it as if he didn't just fuck me up.

"Go up to bed."

I nodded and skidded upstairs in a hurry, hopping in my bed. I heard his footsteps come up the stairs and lock my door from the outside before shuffling down the hall and into his bedroom.

I began sobbing, clutching my ribs as if it would stop them from breaking. I tried to calm myself down and get my breathing back to normal by counting to 10 slowly in my head. I did this 6 times until I began to feel my body relax ever so slightly. I desperately wished I had ice for my eye, my ribs and my neck, but I knew such a luxury would be unattainable.

I laid in bed, wide awake, debating what he had told me about my parents. I tried to sympathize with him, because it was obvious that my Mother's death had literally driven him crazy. I thought of myself in that situation - watching Edward slowly die... the days turning into weeks... months... years... until he finally left me for good. I know that it would send me off the deep end, as well.

But, I could never see myself coping by turning into a monster filled with raging violence and anger.

Well, I guess everyone has different ways of coping.

Tragedy is tragedy, no matter how you look at it. Something terrible can fuck with different people's hearts in different ways. I was trying to understand that - enough to be the bigger person and attempt to give Phil the benefit of the doubt.

Still, everything he has ever done to me flashed right before my eyes. Every insult, every punch, every kick, every jab, every tiny ounce of pain... all of it flooded into my mind, prohibiting me from giving him any type of pity. I loved Mom, too, and I didn't turn into a fucking monster after her death. He had no excuse. Why would he even try to seem as if he does?

I could literally feel my right hand twitching, the emotional release of writing was so heavy on my mind lately. I would give anything for my journal and a fresh pen straight out of the packaging at the moment. I had so much to say. So much to tell Mom. So much to tell Edward.

I glanced out my barred window at the rain. If there was one thing I would rather have than my journal, it's Edward. I could feel pieces of my heart melting away after every second longer without him. I couldn't live without him. It was killing me, tearing at my soul. I'm pretty sure I didn't even have my soul anymore - Edward stole it the day he became my partner for that history project.

It was so easy to fall in love with him. It was easier than blinking, easier than breathing. I've never felt so special in my life, and I never will again. I need Edward and I need him now.

Which is why I have to escape. I could only hope that someone will find me, somehow. I thought of different ways this Laurent could get caught harbering us. Was that a possibility? Or was this plan of Phil's too-thought-out? After all, Phil was a cop, so he know the procedures for these type of situations. He had the upper hand - he had the mind of both the criminal and the hero.

So, I only have one choice: I have to outsmart him. I will do nothing here but think, anyway. What else is there for me to do? So, instead of wallowing in self-pity and crying, I will actually put my time to good use. I will figure out a way out of here.


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: hey everyone, hope you enjoy this chapter... I think you will ;)

disclaimer: I do not own twilight!

EPOV:

It was Monday now, but there was no way I was going to school. I stayed hidden under Bella's blanket for a good 3 hours. I don't think I moved a single muscle the entire time. I just stared at the fabric above my eyes, inhaling it's strawberry-vanilla scent. The pain was indescribable. The violent thoughts raging through my head were probably worse.

Once Bella is found, I probably will have to make sure that I don't know where these 3 fuckers rot in prison. I think, if I knew, I would find a way to sneak in there and commit a triple murder. I couldn't waste away in prison because of them.

Still, I had to swallow the intense urge to kill them. I needed their blood in my hands. I needed to watch them beg for mercy as I killed them in ways an actual serial killer would shudder about. I didn't know this side of me existed. Then again, I've never been in love before. The fact that the love of my life is being harmed - both... sexually and physically - was bringing out qualities in me that have never been shown. I️t was like finally waking up a hibernating bear. He was relaxed, asleep, tame. Now, he's awake, and he wants to attack his prey.

I️t was insanely difficult to reel myself in after my vivid fantasies of killing them. One of them stood out in particular... it involved Jacob's penis and a chainsaw.

I silently prayed that what he said about sexually assaulting Bella was false. Maybe he was just trying to rile me up? Maybe he wanted to scare her by saying that?

Deep down, I knew the fucking truth. That doesn't mean I have to accept it.

I could only hope that she was studying her surroundings, trying to figure out any possible way to successfully come back to me. The cops haven't found anything yet, but the word had spread enough for how new the story is. Every news station in Washington was discussing Bella's story, showing pictures of her, Phil, Billy and Jacob. I clenched my fists every single time I turned on the TV and saw her everlasting beauty placed next to the disgusting faces of these sick bastards. She shouldn't even have to be associated with them. I️t made me sick.

However, every police station in the state was on alert, encouraging their residents to keep an eye out. I waited for the phone to ring, for someone to find her and call it in. All it takes is one person. 7 million people live in this state. All I️t takes is one of them to see the news, see Bella, and call.

The news stations covering Bella's story were slowly spreading to Oregon and Idaho, but we needed more. I wanted the entire world looking out for her. 7 billion, not 7 million.

Mom and Dad spent the entire weekend worrying so much that I think they slept less than I did. Not only did they lose a daughter, but they had to watch their son's emotional torment. They were constantly begging me to eat or nap, and take my pain medicine for my hand. I kept forgetting I️t was fucking broken anyway. That was at the very bottom of my to-do list.

"Edward?" Dad's voice called quietly outside Bella's bedroom door. I just grunted in response. He took that as an invitation and slowly shuffled inside, carrying a plate. A bowl of chili sat on top of it.

"Mom made your favorite chili for lunch," he smiled gently, but it was no where near real.

I brought my head out from under Bella's blanket, glancing up at him. He was looking down at me with so much worry written on his face that I️t was almost unbelievable. He didn't look like this when Alice broke her femur in dance class. He didn't look this worried when I broke my collarbone. He didn't look like this whenever we had the flu or when Mom had bronchitis.

He was in pain. I️t almost looked like he was dying inside.

"Dad." I croaked. "I️'m sorry I'm so hard to deal with right now. I don't mean to make you worry."

He sat on the edge of my bed, his brown eyes growing serious. "I don't blame you for anything, son. I️'m not upset with you at all. I️t is just tearing us all apart."

I nodded, wiping some stray tears from my eyes. "I can't focus on anything at all. It's scary. My mind has never been so focused on one thing. It's like I'm lost in the woods or something..."

"I can't imagine your pain, Edward. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for."

"I don't think so."

"We will get her back. I won't stop until we do. Do you understand?"

I nodded fiercely.

"Now, could you please eat some of this?" He gestured with his head towards the chili. I sighed, but agreed. Not eating wouldn't help at all, even though I had no appetite.

I ate about half the bowl before pushing it back to Dad. He stayed to make sure I actually ate. He smiled, pleased with my effort. "Mom and I aren't going to work at all this week. We stated we had family emergencies. I️ mean, everyone knows anyway, from the news. We will stay home with you and keep in contact with the police, okay?"

"You guys don't have to do that-"

"Nonsense. We'll be downstairs if you need anything." He smiled gently before walking out, closing the door behind him.

I shuffled back under the covers, trying to get some more sleep. I was interrupted about 40 minutes after Dad left by a phone call by Alice.

"Yeah?"

"Edward, you have to come to school and pick up Rosalie."

"Give me the details," I demanded to Alice as I pulled into the parking lot with more speed than necessary. She was waiting for me, standing by her car.

"Well, Tanya was standing in line at lunch, talking shit to Jessica about Bella. Rosalie was standing right behind them, and they didn't know. Tanya was making fun of Bella, saying she was a freak anyway and nobody would miss her. She made somE bullshit up about Bella using witchcraft to make you fall for her. She said she hoped Bella was in a ditch, dead. Rosalie snapped and beat the shit out of her. She's suspended - effective immediately - for the next 2 weeks. She's too scared to tell her parents, so can you bring her back to our house?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I would love to kick the shit out of Tanya, too. She was just as bad as them. How could she wish those type of things on an innocent person? I don't care how fucking jealous she is. I will make her life a personal hell for talking about my Bella that way.

I️t was true when everyone described Rosalie as a badass. If you fuck with anyone she cares about, she will have your ass in a millisecond. I was eternally grateful for her for defending Bella.

"Where is she?" I asked.

"The office."

Alice and I walked inside to the principal's office. Rosalie was seated right next to the door in a black plastic chair, her elbow propped on the armrest and her cheek resting in her palm. She looked bored and uninterested. I had to stifle a chuckle.

"C'mon, Rose. I️'m here to rescue you."

She glanced up at me and grinned before waltzing out of the office.

"Thanks, Edward."

"No, Rose, thank you. I'm glad you were there to defend her when I wasn't. I️t means a lot to me, and I know it will to her."

"I just... I couldn't take it. I had to shut her up and that was the best way to do it. I️'m glad it happened."

"You don't regret it?"

She quirked a brow. "Not for a fucking second."

I chuckled, nodding my head.

"I'll see you guys at home. Don't be surprised if you get a call before the end of the day about me beating her up, too. She better pray I don't come across her today," Alice growled. She waved before turning down a different hallway.

"How are you holding up?" Rosalie inquired as we hopped in my Volvo.

"Umm... pass?"

She sighed. "I️ really am sorry about all this. It's... I can't stop thinking about her."

"You and me both. My mind is completely filled with her. Trying to think of something... anything. I️ get really pissed because I can't think of a damn thing."

"I know. The helplessness is terrifying."

"I️t's drowning me."

She offered me a sad smile before turning the radio up, indicating that she was done with the conversation. I couldn't be more thankful for that.

"So, what happened? Edward was in such a hurry when he left," Mom said as Rosalie and I stepped inside.

"A bitchy girl was making fun of Bella because she wants to be with Edward, and she's jealous. I overheard and kind of... attacked her."

Mom covered her mouth with her hand, hiding the fact she was giggling. Dad smirked from the couch, shaking his head and silently chuckling as he focused his attention back to his laptop. He was beginning to search for private investigators and lawyers.

"Rosalie... I'm sorry, it's really not funny," Mom shut her lips tightly, trying to contain herself. Her eyes were dancing in amusement, though. She was a terrible actress.

"It's amazing," I declared before plopping on the couch next to Dad with a heavy sigh.

"Do you want some chili, Rosalie? I made some for lunch and there's plenty left."

"Sure. Thanks, Mom." Rosalie had started calling my parents "Mom and Dad" right when her and Alice became best friends - which was years ago. We were all only children when we met.

"Do you guys know what happens when you get suspended? Will they call my parents? I was kind of hoping to pretend to go to school every day for the next 2 weeks and go somewhere else," she laughed.

"Rosalie, honey, I really think your parents should know of this," Mom suggested as she handed Rosalie a bowl of chili before sitting next to her on the couch.

"They'll kill me!"

"They know what happened to Bella. They know you are friends with her. I know your parents, Rose. I think they would understand."

"Ugh... I don't know."

Mom patted her knee. "Would you like me to explain it for you? We can call your Mom right now."

Rosalie sighed and nodded, handing Mom her cell phone. Mom fiddled with I️t before I️t started ringing through the speaker phone.

"Rosie, what's up?" Her Mom called through the phone.

"Mom, I'm at the Cullen's. I sort of... got suspended from school."

"What?! Rosalie Grace Hale! What did you do?"

"Well, Molly, Rosalie overheard a girl at school making fun of our Bella and wishing terrible things upon her. Her and Rosalie got into a bit of a... scuffle because of it."

"What did she say?"

"Mom, she said that she wishes Bella was dead! That she's a pathetic freak that nobody will miss! I couldn't stand hearing that about Bella. I had to put her in her place."

Rosalie's Mom sighed on the other end of the phone. The type of sigh that all Mom's make when they don't know whether to be disappointed in you or not. I️ knew Rosalie's Mom was a nice, reasonable woman. I didn't think Rosalie had much to worry about. Her Mom would understand.

"Rosalie, as much as I love that you are so loving towards your friends, you didn't need to approach the issue with violence. You know better."

"I'm sorry, Ma. I just snapped."

"How long are you suspended for?"

"2 weeks."

"I'm taking your car away for those 2 weeks, then. If you want to go anywhere, you'll have to find a ride. Also, there will be a nice cleaning list for you to accomplish while you're home from school. I want to clean the attic out, sounds like something you could handle."

Rosalie smirked, rolling her eyes. "Okay, Ma. Can I sleep at the Cullen's tonight? Alice was upset at school because of what happened and I want to make sure she's alright. I'll have her drop me off tomorrow morning on her way to school and I'll start cleaning."

"That's fine. See you tomorrow. Thank you for having her, Esme. You all are still in my thoughts. I pray every night that things will turn out okay. Stay strong." Rosalie's Mom really was a sweet woman. Even though Rosalie acted out today, her Mom still allowed her to stay out tonight to console an upset friend. My mom would have locked me away in my room if I was fighting in school.

"Thank you, Molly, we appreciate that. Talk to you soon," Mom smiled gently as Rosalie hung up the phone and placed it back in the pockets of her jeans.

After school, Emmett, Jasper and Alice came home. Emmett came barreling in, searching for Rosalie.

"Rosie! Are you okay? Nobody let me see you when you got pulled to the office," he grunted, pulling her into his arms.

She giggled, patting the top of his head. "I'm fine, Em. She didn't get a hit in."

He smiled proudly. "That's my girl."

"Did you tell Mom?" Jasper snorted.

"Yeah. My car is gone for 2 weeks and I have to clean out the entire attic."

"Ha! That sucks. It's disgusting up there," Jasper teased before walking into the kitchen.

My phone vibrated in the pocket of my ratty sweats. I reached in eagerly, pulling I️t out to find a new text message from Paul.

Finally found information on Laurent. Lives in Salem, Oregon. Cops over there are asking him to come to the station for questioning. They will tape the interview and send I️t over to us. Come to the station tomorrow at 4 if you want to see I️t.

I smiled, hoping we would find something. I could only hope this Laurent had information on Phil. Bree really believed they were close. Could he know something? If he did, would he risk lying to the police? Paul and Sam seemed optimistic about Laurent, since Phil's abandoned car was found on the way to Oregon. I didn't want to be pessimistic, but I felt as though it could just be a coincidence. Nothing more, nothing less.

Still, I could only hope to be wrong.

The next day, I was restless. I spent most of the day looking at the clock, waiting for 4:00 to come around. I was jittery, my nerves on end. I could only hope that Laurent knew something - anything - and that he would be willing to share his knowledge with the police.

It's really annoying how time flies when you don't want it to, but it fucking drags when you're impatiently waiting for the future. Why did it seem like the clocks weren't moving? I was on edge all day.

Finally, it was 3:45, and I was practically running to Dad's car so he could drive us to the police station. Mom and Alice were coming with. They held hands in the backseat the entire time, staring out the windows. Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were meeting us there. They wanted to be a part of this, which I️ was grateful for. The more brain power, the better. Nobody said a word throughout the entire drive to La Push. Lately, I was having a hard time deciding how I felt about silence.

"Alright, we're ready to see," I announced as the 7 of us paraded into the police station.

They smiled grimly before turning on a TV next to Harry's desk. I️t hummed to life before showing the footage from the security tapes at the station in Salem, Oregon.

There was a room with a table and a few chairs. A light was hanging from the ceiling on the table. A dark-skinned man with dreadlocks was leaned back in a chair, not looking nervous at all. On the other side of the table was 2 male police officers with pens and notebooks in their hands.

"We are here with Laurent Jameson. Laurent, do you understand that you are being questioned in regards to the disappearance of Isabella Swan?" One of the officers inquired.

Laurent nodded. "Yes." His tone was calm and confident.

"We will be recording this interview and sending I️t to the police officers who are on top of this case."

"Yeah, got it," Laurent grumbled, crossing his arms against his chest.

"We have learned that you are good friends with Phil Dwyer, the stepfather of Isabella. Is this true?"

"Yup. Known him for years."

"How did you meet him?"

"He was my friend as a young boy. I grew up in the same neighborhood as him. My parents moved down here to Oregon before I started high school, but we always kept touch."

"So, you've been friends since childhood. That must mean you trust each other," one of the cops mused.

"I suppose."

"Would he trust you with his life?"

"I dunno. It's not like we sit around and confess our deep feelings for each other," he snorted sarcastically, playing with the frayed end of one of his dreadlocks.

"I️'m asking if he has confided in you at all. When was the last time you've spoken to him?"

"Not sure, it's been weeks now. I just got word from my parents about what happened not too long ago."

"So you're saying that he hasn't made contact with you since before he fled from Forks, Washington?"

"Yes, that's what I️'m saying."

"Did you know that his car was found abandoned on his way here, to Oregon?"

"No."

"We just think it's interesting that he seems to be heading down here. From what the police in Washington know, you're the only person he knows that lives down here."

"So I'm automatically guilty of something just because Phil chose to run away in this direction? That doesn't seem very fair, does it?" He mused, stroking his chin.

"It's a theory, and anything is possible in these situations."

"Well, your theories are wrong. I don't know where he is, and I️ don't know where the girl is," he was becoming annoyed. I was growing frustrated with his carefree attitude. Didn't he know that he was being a dick? Someone's best friend... daughter... sister... girlfriend is missing - and he's brushing it off like it's nothing.

The tape shut off after that, and everybody was quiet for a few moments, lost in our own thoughts.

Emmett was first to break the silence. "He's lying."

"How could you know that?" Jasper asked.

"He played the 'I don't care' card a little too well. Either he's lying, or he really doesn't have a heart at all."

Sam nodded. "I think your friend might be right, Edward. I see this all the time. People believe acting careless and slouching around shows disinterest. It's the best way to hide nerves and anxiety."

"We have no proof of him doing anything, though," Kate pointed out.

"Yet," Dad retorted.

"I mean, maybe this just is a coincidence. Just because Phil has a friend in Oregon doesn't mean he's automatically behind his act," Harry thought aloud. He glanced at me apologetically. "I don't wanna burst your bubble, kid. I just don't wanna get your hopes up."

"He's right, Edward. If Laurent is lying, we can't do anything about it until he breaks the law. We need evidence to make any arrests," Paul added.

"Then, have the cops there keep a close eye on him. I think Emmett is right. The fucker is lying," I snapped.

"The police can only watch him so much. He has constitutional rights, whether he's lying or not," Kate muttered.

"So, we're giving up on Laurent?" Alice asked defeatedly, sighing heavily and plopping into a vacant plastic chair with a thud.

"We'll keep him in the back of our minds. For now, we need to look for more," Sam said.

"We need to try harder!" I bellowed before pacing back and forth.

"We need to spread the story. We need more awareness. Carlisle, I hate to ask, but are you willing to pay to bring this story to more national news channels?" Paul asked.

Dad nodded immediately. "Whatever it takes."

"I'll get a hold of CNN. Everybody in the country watches that shit. We'll set up an interview. I'll call first thing in the morning," Paul declared before walking over to his desk and typing on his desktop.

We left after that. I spent the entire ride mentally preparing a speech for CNN. I was going to get on camera and beg for Bella's life. I would offer Phil all the money that Grandpa left me - which was a fucking lot. I would get the message across, loud and crystal clear, to every viewer that they need to keep an eye out for her. That I need her back, or I won't be able to continue living.

Every second without her was just getting worse and worse. I didn't even feel like I was living anymore. Like I was stuck in some sort of purgatory or something of that nature.

If I wasn't broken down in sobs, I was either pacing in her bedroom, annoying the hell out of the police, or attempting to sleep.

Today was Wednesday now. Bella has been missing for 5 days, but I️t felt like I haven't seen her in a lifetime. I wouldn't wish this type of anguish on anyone. Well, with the exception of 3 people...

Grandma and Grandpa Cullen were coming today and are staying until Bella is found. Keeping up with normal everyday activities, such as cooking and laundry, are becoming too difficult for my family and I. So, they offered to come help, so the rest of us can focus on finding my Bella.

"Edward, honey, how are you holding up?" Grandma muttered in my ear as she walked in the front door, pulling me into her arms tightly.

"I️'m not really holding up at all."

She sighed and pulled away, patting my cheek affectionately. "Have faith and patience, dear. That's all you need right now. We will be here with you every step of the way."

Grandpa came in carrying luggage. Oliver trailed behind, jumping on my legs and begging for attention. I smiled slightly and picked him up off the ground, hugging him to my chest, thinking of Bella and how happy she was when she was playing with him. I think Oliver could sense my raging anxiety and sadness, because he tucked himself into the crook of my neck in a hug.

"What's going on with CNN?" Grandpa asked after they were settled into the basement. They always stayed down there when they came, since I️t was like a mini-apartment down there.

Grandma entered the room with a tray of coffee for everyone. Alice and I were huddled on the couch on either side of Oliver, both of us absentmindedly stroking his fur. Using my twin telepathy, I knew both of us were petting him because he helped us stay calm.

Dad sighed, throwing his arm around Mom's shoulder. Both of them looked so fucking drained. "The police called them this morning. They said they're next open space is Saturday morning. We have to be at their Seattle office by 8 AM."

Grandma smiled. "This is great! CNN will provide all the coverage we need. Everybody watches those liberals."

I groaned, praying we didn't get into politics now.

"Who will be speaking?" Grandma asked.

"All 4 of us. They're giving each of us 5 minutes to say whatever we feel," Alice mumbled sadly.

I have been planning my speech all day. I️ would spend the first 2.5 minutes of my time begging Phil to return her to me. I will offer him all the money I have. The other 2.5 minutes I will speak to Bella. I will tell her that I️'m never going to give up looking for her. That I love her more than anything in this world and that I will do whatever I️t takes to bring her back to me, and that I can't live without her.

I tried so hard not to be pessimistic, I really did, but I was starting to wonder if she may never come home. I️ couldn't go on without her. There was no reason for me to be alive if she couldn't be by my side. I️t was honestly scary feeling that strongly about someone, but I was in too deep. Bella is truly the reason for my existence. If she goes, I go.

Grandma made a dinner of fettuccine Alfredo and basically had to force it down my throat. Even my parents and Alice weren't eating as much as they usually do.

"I'm so sorry that you cooked so much, Elizabeth. None of us seem to have much of an appetite lately," Mom sighed, smiling in appreciation at Grandma.

Grandma waved her hand in front of her face. "Don't worry about it, baby. I am here to help."

Grandpa did the dishes, as always. That was the one compromise they had since the beginning of their love. She cooks, he does all the dishes. I've never seen a family dinner that didn't end this way. I️t was soothing, for some reason. I guess, I️t reminded me of Bella and I. I wanted that with her. Something unbreakable, that lasts a lifetime. And beyond.

"Edward, sweet-pea, come with me. I have something for you," Grandma whispered in my ear after I plopped on the living room recliner, reaching for my phone to text Sam or Paul. Again.

I followed her down to the basement. She led me to the couch, and sat on the same cushion that Bella sat on the first time she got high, laughing drunkenly at her confusion towards Emmett's bong. I tried to shun the memory away. It was too painful anymore.

She reached into her purse and pulled out a tiny black box.

She smiled warmly before opening I️t, revealing a ring. An elegant diamond sat on top of a gold band, with 2 smaller diamonds on either side of I️t. The band was a perfect gold, shining in the light. The diamond was clear and gorgeous - so many different, tiny shapes inside of I️t.

I glanced up at her, my jaw hanging open and my eyes looking like a deer in headlights. Was this what I think I️t was?

"Edward, I know I️ may sound crazy, but I know that your Bella is the one for you. I can see it in your eyes. I saw it in her's on Thanksgiving, too. You both smile a huge, beaming smile, as if nobody else is looking. You 2 are like... magnets. I know you have been technically dating her for a short time... but, I don't think that matters. She's the one."

She smiled warmly as I felt tears pooling in my eyes, threatening to spill over with any slight move I make.

She continued. "This was the very first ring your grandfather ever gave me. It's very special to me, for many, many reasons that I will not get into right now," she chuckled. "I want you to give I️t to Bella."

I gasped. "A-are you sure?"

She nodded. "You know once I make a decision, the deal is done."

I chuckled, rubbing the back of my neck. I didn't bother to stop the tears from flowing. Grandma wrapped her arms around me and patted my back slowly, the way she used to when I was younger and went through a phase of needing my back rubbed in order to fall asleep.

"Everything will be okay, darling. It's the tough times that make us stronger. She will come home, and you 2 will be okay," she whispered. I nodded against her shoulder.

"I love you, sweet-pea," she ruffled my hair.

"I love you, too, Grandma."

The next day, I woke up to Oliver licking my face. He slept in Bella's bed with me, cuddled up against my legs. I️t was comforting. Even though I️t was nothing at all like sleeping next to Bella, I️t was still nice to have someone to sleep next to.

"Alright, Oliver, I'm up," I groaned. I took a shower before picking Oliver up into my arms and heading downstairs. I️t was only 7 AM. I slept 4 hours - a short amount of time, but I was still grateful for any sleep at all at this point.

"Morning, pumpkin," Grandma called from the kitchen. I set Oliver down so he could attack his food bowl.

"Morning," I mumbled, plopping at the island in the kitchen as I watched her make breakfast.

"I'm making eggs and sausage links for Alice before she goes to school. Would you like some?"

"No, thank you."

She sighed, pointing her spatula at me. "You need to eat, Edward."

"I will soon."

She turned back to the stove, a defeated look on her face. Alice bounced down the steps, dressed in sweats again for school. She hasn't even been wearing makeup lately. I have seriously never seen Alice like this in my entire life.

"Good morning, Ali," Grandma chirped, placing the food in front of her.

Alice forced a smile. "Morning. Thank you."

Alice ate about half her plate before pushing it away. "I'm full. Thank you, Grandma. I better head to school now. See you guys later. Call me if something comes up." She patted my arm before heaving her bag over her shoulder and heading outside.

"Edward, would you like to play a game of chess with me?" Grandpa asked as he entered the kitchen with a cup of coffee in his hands.

I shrugged. "Sure."

I knew he was just trying to distract me. Grandpa was a psychologist before retiring. He owned his own practice. He had a knack for sensing other's emotions. He could obviously tell that I needed to bring my mind somewhere else for a bit.

We played in silence, which I think was for my benefit. We were about halfway through the game - and I️t was quite an even match - when my phone began blaring in my pocket.

"Go on, take it, it could be about your Bella," he smiled gently. I nodded and pulled my phone out to see it was Sam.

"Sam," I breathed. "What's up?"

"Hey, kid, you're gonna want to come to the station." I didn't miss the smile behind his voice.

My heart skipped a beat. "What is I️t?!"

"They found the BMW from the Black's garage abandoned at a motel in Oregon. I have more details. Just get your ass down here."

My parents, my grandparents and I bolted to La Push's police station as fast as lightning. Well - as fast as Mom allowed Dad to drive. "Slow down, Carlisle! I️ know we're all excited, but we don't want to die," she would say. None of us could contain our huge smiles throughout the entire drive. I felt so much of my pain disappear in the instant that Sam gave us some good news. We may have not found her, but we're getting fucking close. The relief crashed into me like a fucking tsunami.

"What's going on?" I called as we entered the station.

"The police down there questioned the staff of the motel about which room they stayed in. They finally figured it out and searched the room. I️t seems that Bella found out where Phil would be taking her, and she left a message by carving clues into the bedside table with a knife," Kate explained triumphantly. She held up a photo. I️t was very zoomed in, but obviously a wooden table. Scratched into I️t were a few simple words. Oakridge. Cabin. Laurent. And then, her initials.

I felt tears streaming down my face at the discovery. My Bella left us a message. We could find her now.

I️t was truly crazy, how my pain was washed away in one split second. I felt my heart reattaching itself together. She will always be the medicine for me. All I need is her, and I'm okay. She was my own personal brand of heroin.

"Oakridge is a town in Oregon. Mostly woods. And, it seems as though our friend Laurent was, indeed, lying. We think he is helping Phil hide away in a cabin down there, obviously," Harry said.

"So, what's next?" Grandpa inquired.

"The Oakridge police are going to start searching around all the cabins in the area. We're going to find her," Kate was beaming, her eyes watery. She pulled me in for a hug, and I couldn't help but sob against her. Out of all the cops, she was my favorite. This case really put a strain on her heart.

"We need to go to Oakridge, now. I want to be there when they find her," I growled with anticipation, the fingers of my good hand flexing and unflexing themselves.

"It's over 7 hours of driving. Luckily, I have a buddy that has a private plane. I'll see if he can fly you down today. Only 2 other passengers will fit, though," Paul explained as he pulled out his cell phone.

"I will go with Edward in the plane. Esme, pick Alice up from school and gather some things from the house and start driving down to Oakridge right away," Dad suggested. Mom nodded and got on the phone to call Alice.

"Alice, baby," she breathed, tears of happiness shooting down her face. "We're gonna find her. We know where she is. We have to drive down to Oregon, right away. I am coming to school now to pick you up."

I could hear Alice's shouts from the other end of the phone. Mom began crying even harder, clutching her chest in disbelief. I️t was the most amazing feeling. Knowing we will get her back.

"She wants to talk to you," Mom offered me the phone.

"Ali," I croaked. "We're getting her back."

"Edward," she was sobbing. "This is absolutely amazing! I knew we would get her back! How did they find her?!"

"They found the old BMW that Seth told me about abandoned at a motel, just like Phil did with his car. They searched the room and Bella left a message of where they were taking her," I was beaming so much, I was pretty sure my face would fucking snap in half.

"Yes! I'm so proud of her!"

I chuckled. "Me, too, Ali. Dad and I are probably going on a plane with Paul's friend, you and Mom will drive down there."

"Okay, I'll see you down there, Ed. I can't wait! Love you!"

"Love you, too."

Mom pulled me in for a hug the second I got off the phone with Alice. "Let's go get her."


	27. Chapter 27

Hey guys! I'm so sorry i haven't been around much lately! I have been busy as hell, which is annoying.

I just realized that I've never shared a fun fact with you guys: the town next to mine is called "Forks!" How funny? Lol!

This chapter is short, but only because I know you all are dying for what's about to happen happen ;)

Thanks for yout patience! Really hope you enjoy :)

EPOV:

I'm pretty sure my knee was bouncing at a rate of 100 miles per hour as I sat in the backseat of Paul's cruiser. He was actually giving us a police escort to his friend, Embry's, so Embry could fly us to Oakridge ASAP. If this was any other situation, I would have thought that it was fucking cool to be given a police escort. Now, my mind was filled with nothing but her.

Anxious. Hopeful. Relieved. Happy. Sad. Angry. Those were just a handful of the emotions that were currently plaguing my mind. I couldn't, for the life of me, pinpoint which emotions were strongest. They all seemed to be buzzing around in my head at alarming rates.

If things went well, my Bella could be back in my arms today. As thrilled as I was, I still wasn't emotionally prepared to see the fucked up shit they've done to her. Would I even be able to see the bruises and and scars that she - most likely - is wearing at this moment without losing my entire fucking mind? Well, I guess I have no choice in the matter anyway. I have to be strong for her. I failed her by basically handing her to these fuckers. I will not fail her ever again.

"Just 2 more miles until we are at the airport," Paul stated, glancing at me warily in the rearview mirror. I'm pretty sure him and Dad could easily feel the nerves rolling off me in tidal waves. I merely nodded in response.

We pulled up to a tiny airport on the edge of La Push. Apparently, everyone living on the reservation owning a private airplane - which was only 3 people - had to keep their planes here. I saw 3 small, almost-identical planes sitting in the murky grass, each pointing west. My fingers clenched and unclenched in sheer anticipation. I've never been this nervous in my entire fucking life.

"Edward, Carlisle, this is Embry. Embry, this is Bella's boyfriend and his father." Paul waved his hand around, introducing us to his friend.

Embry smiled kindly. "A pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise, Embry. My son and I are very grateful for your kindness during this terrible time," Dad said politely.

"Not a problem. I can't stand that wretched Billy Black and his son," he chuckled, motioning with his head for us to follow him to his plane.

Embry began pressing various buttons and controls while Dad and I strapped ourselves into the seats. I glanced out the window to my right, taking deep breaths and staring at the ocean in the distance.

"The flight will only be about an hour. Sit tight," Embry called. After a few more minutes of preparation, we were heading into the sky.

"How are you feeling, son?" Dad asked next to me. He was smiling, but his voice was laced with concern. I'm sure he knew that my emotions were all over the map.

"I'm feeling… everything?"

He chuckled lightly. "I could definitely understand that. Just try to relax. Take a sip of that water bottle next to you."

I did as he said before leaning my head against the headrest and shutting my eyes. This was going to be the longest goddamn hour of my entire life.

Finally, we touched down at a tiny airport just outside Oakridge. Thankfully, Paul had arranged a police officer from the Oakridge department to pick us up from the airport and drive us to their station.

"Welcome, friends. I'm Chief Alec Volturi. Follow me," he gestured towards his Ford Explorer. The side read "Oakridge Police" in bold, black letters.

"Do you know where she is?" I demanded as I strapped myself to the backseat.

"There are many cabins in this area. Luckily, this is a close-knit community. We know which cabins she is not in. We are fairly positive that we will find her very, very soon."

I leaned my head against the headrest, pinching the bridge of my nose. I wasn't sure how the human body could handle this much stress and agony without spontaneously combusting. Actually, I was still waiting for that to happen.

We pulled into the station, stepping inside to find a little over a dozen officers frantically parading around the building. Their footsteps were heavy, but somehow synchronized. Like they were working together in every single aspect, even the way they fucking walked.

They were all over the place, determined to find my Bella. The seriousness of the situation was clearly kicking their asses into action.

"Follow me," Alec crooked his finger at Dad and me, leading us to the back left corner of the station. Sitting in a small chair, wearing a tremendously serious expression, was a younger man with light blonde hair.

"Edward, Carlisle, this is Caius. He is our head detective, and he is very bright. We have utmost faith in him."

He shook our hands and motioned for us to take the other plastic chairs around his desk.

"Pleasure to meet you, gentleman."

"Likewise, friend. What do we know so far?" Dad asked.

He pointed to a crinkled map that was sprawled widely across his desk. Random spots were circled, while others were crossed out.

He pointed to the areas that were crossed out - which all happened to be near one another. "The cabins in this part of town are definitely a negative. My brother has a cabin there, and he is very close with his neighbors. None of them even know who Laurent is. There is a small handful of properties - cabins, essentially - that we don't know anything about. There is one here," he was pointing as he spoke. "Here, here, and here. I'm trying to get real estate records for these places. That's what I'm waiting for at the moment."

"Don't you know if Laurent owns one of these cabins?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"No, but I'll know soon."

He began typing on his giant computer, his brows furrowed in concentration. I could only hope he knew what he was doing.

After a few minutes, his phone blared in his pocket.

"What do you have, Pete?... Really… Fuck, yes! Thank you, Pete! Send it over!" My eyes were trained on his face now, desperately attempting to read his expressions for answers.

He smiled at me with relief and triumph. "We got all the real estate records that we need. My guy, Pete - from the courthouse - is emailing them to me as we speak. Apparently, Laurent is the current owner of a cabin on Bender Street - been in his family for decades. We're going to get her… today."

Before I could even comprehend what was happening, Dad crushed me to his chest. I couldn't even begin to describe the relief and bliss that was coursing through my entire being.

These past 5 days were nothing but hoping and wondering. Hoping we get her back. Wondering if we ever even fucking would. The fact that I didn't need to hope or wish any longer was the greatest wave of relief. I was finally whole again. I could actually breathe again without a searing pain crippling my already-broken heart.

"What now?" Dad asked, wearing a huge smile on his face as he broke away from me to glance at Caius.

"We go over now, SWAT first. Carlisle and Edward, you can ride with us, but you cannot even leave the cruiser until SWAT says it is clear," Alec responded as a few of the other cops shrugged into their jackets and headed outside.

"Will she be okay? Will they see us coming and hurt her?" I asked warily as Dad, Caius and I stepped into Alec's cruiser.

"Why would they? That would just add to their rap sheet."

I stayed silent the rest of the ride, my forehead rested against the cold glass window. I was wearing a smile so large that I think my face was going to rip into pieces. Just a little longer and I can finally hold her.

Slowly, the highways turned into resident roads, the resident roads turned into back alleys, and the back alleys turned into a dirt road that weaves around the thick, green forest. There was a misty fog hovering over the ground outside, small squirrels and rabbits running through it hastily.

We pulled up to a log cabin seated on a tiny lake. It wasn't too grand, but it looked perfectly fine for an Oregon lake house. It had a certain charm. From the outside, it looked like a place where a family would have water-gun fights and teach one another how to swim in the lake. It was hard to believe what was actually going on inside of the place.

Alec parked at the back of the line of cops, so far at the end of the driveway that I could barely even see the house. Most likely because Dad and I were civilians, and his job was to protect us from whatever may happen once SWAT infiltrates.

"Beware, kid, you may hear some gunshots. I didn't particularly want to bring you here, but I could see that you would have insisted."

I nodded. "Definitely."

"We should move out of sight, Alec. I know SWAT will be able to take them down, but there is always an odd-chance that they could be in line of fire right now. Park down the street, we will still be able to hear SWAT's call of clearance," Caius suggested from the passenger seat.

Alec nodded and moved the car down the street, away from any possibility at all of Phil or the other 2 causing us any harm.

I was about to open my mouth to speak when I heard the terrifying sounds of gunshots. I could tell that different guns were being used. Some were a deep, synchronized "pop" that happened about every 2 seconds. Others were consistent bangs, machine guns that shot round after round in one split second. The sounds were faint, since we were in a car parked down the road, but I could still hear them. My heart was racing with anticipation and fear. Fear that SWAT knew what they were doing, and they were not accidentally shooting at my Bella.

I couldn't stand the fact that she was actually being subjected to this horror. The thought of her in a house with a shoot-out made my stomach flip endlessly. I could very well throw up right here on the floor of Alec's backseat. I rocked back and forth in my seat, keeping my eyes shut tightly. Dad patted my knee in affection, but my mind was barely registering the thought.

Then, the sounds of the guns firing one after another stopped altogether. The 4 of us stayed absolutely silent and still, waiting for what was about to come next.

A gruff voice spoke into the radio "all clear."

I let out a mangled sob, literally getting out of the car and sprinting up to the house. I couldn't stand the thought of sitting in Alec's car as he carefully turned the car around and headed back down the road at 5 MPH.

As I stepped inside, I froze in my tracks. To the left, in the living room, 3 bodies lay on the hardwood floor, their blood all mixing into 1 huge puddle. It was Phil, Billy and Jacob. There were guns next to all of them, their blood staining them. Alcohol bottles littered the room. You could probably smell it if it wasn't for the blood overpowering the aroma. I should have been horrified to see 3 fresh, deceased bodies in front of my eyes. But, I smirked. I walked over to them and did what I always wanted to do: I literally kicked all 3 of them, individually. I knew they were dead, so they would not feel the pain, but that didn't stop the desire to attack their bodies as ferociously as possible. I spit on each of them for good measure before I walked over to one of the cops who's name I never caught.

"Where is she?"

"They found her in the basement a few moments ago. The door is in the kitchen. One of the cops is trying to get her to talk. She's unconscious."

That was all I needed to hear. I ran to the kitchen, flying down the stairs at an alarming speed.

And then, I saw her.

She was in the arms of one of the cops, her nose swollen and coated in blood. Her beautiful hair was knotted all around her pale face. She looked thinner, more frail and fragile. I gulped as the officer gingerly placed her in my arms.

The second I felt her body against mine - that same electric shock running through my system - I sobbed, pulling her as close to my chest as possible. "Oh, Bella," I cried in a small whisper, placing my shaky lips against her warm forehead. I paid deep attention to the way her soft skin felt while I brushed my lips against it.

"My beautiful Bella," I sighed, letting the tears drop onto her head in a heavy stream. "I'm here now, love. Please wake up for me, please, Bella, please!"

I was sobbing harder now, falling on my knees to the floor while keeping her crushed against my frame.

"Bella," I breathed, forcing my face into the top of her head. Somehow, she just wasn't close enough. "I'm so sorry, baby, please forgive me," I shuttered against her scalp, my heart breaking at the fact that it didn't smell right, like that ordinary strawberry shampoo that I've grown utterly addicted to.

My heart was beating so heavily that I was waiting for it to explode. The feeling of her body in my arms - where she belongs - was truly astounding. I couldn't believe how whole I felt again. I didn't realize how lost I was until I found my way back to her. I truly have no idea how I survived without her. I could never imagine not being able to hold her. Not being able to experience the feelings she brings me every second of every day, without her own knowledge.

"Edward," Dad's voice was in my ear. I hadn't even heard him approach. I was completely unaware of everything around me but my girl in my arms.

I glanced up at him with wild, tear-filled eyes. His own were swimming with water, but his expression was firm.

"Edward," he repeated, placing a hand on my shoulder. "We have to get her in the ambulance."

"I can't let her go," I croaked pathetically, shaking my head.

"You can ride with her to the hospital. But, she needs to be evaluated immediately."

I merely nodded, clutching her against my chest and hurrying upstairs and outside.

"It will be okay now, baby, please open your eyes for me. I love you, Bella. I fucking love you," I whispered against her head as I carried her outside.

"I'm so sorry," I groaned as I laid her on the little bed in the back of the ambulance. I rubbed circles into her hands the entire time, allowing the tears to fall as I watched the paramedics begin to check her over.

Now that I had her back, I will never fail her again. Isabella Marie Swan will never experience pain again, as long as I am alive.


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: hey everyone! I hope you like this chapter. I promise that things are going to be much lighter and easier on the heart from now on! Things will be tough st first while she recovers, but I'll make up for it :)

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight!

BPOV:

A tapping sound succeeded in bringing me out of the darkness of unconsciousness. It was a nervous sound, uneven and restless.

I felt a light stroking sensation trailing up and down my forearm. Up and down. Back and forth. Slowly, yet comfortingly.

I hesitantly opened my eyes and warily glanced around the room. My heart leapt victoriously in my chest when realizing that I was in a hospital, and not in that cabin.

It turns out that the tapping noise was a foot, impatiently stomping against the linoleum floor. I looked over to find that it was Edward's foot tapping against the floor anxiously and Edward's fingertips gliding across my bruised skin.

I felt tears welling in my eyes at the sight of him. He wasn't looking at me, so he was unaware of the fact that I was awake and alert. He was looking at the TV across the room, but it didn't seem as though he was paying attention to the mindless sitcom.

His brows were furrowed, his hair even messier than usual. I could tell he had been assaulting it with his hands. He looked like a total mess, but he was still so fucking beautiful. A beautiful mess.

A beautiful mess that I didn't deserve. At all.

Just glancing at him made tears swim in my eyes immediately. He was perfect, far too fucking perfect. He was every single girl's dream, and he was stuck with a pathetic girl like me.

Could I really allow him to continue being with me? Could I be that fucking selfish? Hey, Edward, I know that you are literally the most perfect person alive - and that you deserve everything under the sun - but will you still settle for me? A girl who was abused for years, allowing it to happen? A girl who was so stupid that she legitimately walked into a kidnapping? A girl who was sexually assaulted by another man not even a full week after losing her virginity to you?

I scowled at the inner workings of my brain. Deep down, I knew my negative thoughts were right. Edward deserved to be with a whole woman who could give him the world, not a broken girl that he would be forced to put back together.

After Jacob - I hated to even think the word - raped me, I was too focused on surviving Phil's torture to give any thought to the sexual assault. Now, it was beginning to eat at me. I felt pieces of myself floating away, my spirit shattered. I was mortified.

Every time I blinked my eyes, I swear I was brought back to Jacob's bedroom. The horrid memories were as clear as if it just happened a second ago. Would it always be that way?

The worst part was that I truly believed Jacob was my cousin and that he actually wanted to help me. The sense of betrayal that I felt was very strong, and I grew scared that all the ones I've grown to trust would abandon me. I should have known that good things aren't meant for me. They never have been, and I guess they never will be.

I was disgusted with myself, and I felt absolutely filthy. However, I don't think any shower would make me clean. The realization was hitting me like a ton of bricks.

Edward wouldn't want me now. I promised him that i would only belong to him forever, but then I'm stupid enough to walk into a trap that involves me being… raped.

Suddenly, he glanced over at me, and I felt terribly undeserving of the love in his green eyes when he looked at me.

"Bella," he breathed in relief before lying down next to me, pulling me into his arms after carefully maneuvering around the wires attached to me. Could I really let this go? This feeling of warmth and protection when he held me like this? Despite all of these terrible emotions, I've never felt so safe than in this moment. My heart skipped a beat at his perfect touch.

He kissed the top of my head. "I'm so sorry, love. I'm so fucking sorry. Please forgive me," he croaked. "I should have gone with you... none of this would have happened. I'm so fucking sorry, baby. Are you okay? How do you feel?" He was talking a mile a minute, his words a jumbled mess of raw emotions. His arms held me so tightly against him. I relaxed a little at the sound of his voice. Angry, pained and scared, but still velvety and soothing.

"My family is downstairs getting food, do you want them to come back?"

"No, let them eat. What happened?" I croaked.

"We found your note, Bella. In the motel. It was easy to narrow down your location from then. SWAT drove up to the house first and Phil, Billy and Jacob immediately started shooting at them. Thank God they were drunk, because they didn't even get close to shooting anyone. SWAT took them down with no problem. They're dead, Bella, all 3 of them. They can't hurt you ever again."

I felt my jaw drop. They're… dead. Last thing I remember was Phil throwing me in the basement like a rag doll because I accidentally burnt their bacon and toast for breakfast. He spewed curse words at me left and right and punched me in the face before throwing me downstairs. I vaguely remember him shoving a needle into my arm, wanting me unconscious so he "didn't have to deal with me."

Still… dead. I never would have thought that I would win. There was a war between Phil and I for years, and he won every single battle. In what story has the winner of every battle ever lost the entire war? It was a fucking miracle. I gasped for air, feeling myself hyperventilating. I couldn't control the raging emotions, they were soaring through me at the speed of light.

Edward glanced at me with a wary expression. He brushed his thumbs across my cheekbones, wiping my tears. "Shh, love, it's okay now. You're safe."

I didn't deserve any of it. I didn't deserve the emotions behind his worried words. I didn't deserve the pleasantry of his arms. I didn't deserve his fucking love.

I couldn't do this to him any longer. I loved him too much to watch him settle for a girl like me - a person with countless demons and insecurities. A girl who lacks the strength to keep the demons away.

"Please... just stop," I whispered, keeping my eyes cast downward.

"What's wrong? Do you need a nurse?"

I sighed. "No, Edward, I need you to stop."

The confusion in his voice was strong. "Stop what?"

"Just... stop caring."

He grabbed my chin gently and forced me to look up at him. His eyes held frustration, his brows receding into his eyelids.

"What do you mean, Bella? Why are you saying this shit?"

"I'm not worth your time anymore."

He opened his mouth, but he seemed to be at a loss of words. Finally, he found his voice, and it was laced with anger. "Don't you fucking dare do this, Bella. Don't you dare."

"Do what?!"

"Don't let those sick fuckers break you! None of this was your fault, and you couldn't have done a damn fucking thing to stop them. Don't let them do this to you!"

"Too late." I couldn't believe how dead my voice sounded.

He scowled, pursing his lips. "Stop it, Isabella Marie Swan. I love you more than you could ever know. The way you see yourself has nothing to do with the way I see you."

"How do you see me then, Edward?! How do you not see a pathetic excuse of a girl who seems to attract nothing but negativity and pain?! How do you not see a charity case?! I'm not worth your fucking time. I deserve to be stuck with someone like Jacob. Someone without a beautiful soul like yours." The tears were flowing down my cheeks, landing on my hands.

If he looked angry before, he was absolutely livid now. "Don't even say shit like that. How could you say that to me?! Do you know how much I wish I was the one to kill Jacob? And then I hear you saying that you deserve to be with him?! Damnit, Bella! Stop this right now! You're letting them get to you and they're not even alive anymore!"

"That's the problem, Edward. That's what I'm getting at. No matter what happened to them, I will always be scarred by what they did. I will never be a normal girl, and that's what you need. A. Normal. Girl. Why can't you see that and accept it?"

"Because it's not fucking true. Why can't you see that and accept it?" He quoted me sourly. "I love you, Bella, through thick and thin. I don't fucking care what you think I need. I know what I need, and it's YOU. Do you even know how much pain I was in while you were gone? My life is nothing without you. NOTHING. So, tell me why you think it is in my best fucking interest to let you go."

"You just don't understand," I mumbled, upset by the anger I caused him.

He sighed, and the anger in his eyes disappeared and was replaced with nothing but raw pain. My throat grew tight when I saw a few tears fall out of his orbs. I couldn't stand the sight of him so distraught. I felt like I got punched in the fucking gut - and that's a pain I know a lot about.

"Please," he whispered, cupping my cheeks in his smooth hands, searching my eyes in a pleading, desperate manner. "Don't let him do this to us."

"Edward-"

"Bella, I never thought love could be so strong until I found you. Nothing could ever change the way I feel about you. You are my entire life, no matter what. Don't you see that?"

My heart felt like it was disintegratingh in my chest at his words. I knew he was saying this now, but he would change his mind once he really understood everything they did to me. I was nothing but dirty, used goods now. He would see that, eventually, and want nothing to do with me.

He continued. "I'm sorry I yelled at you a second ago. That was stupid of me. It's just that the thought of losing you sends me into a panic. My heart is yours, love, forever. I don't want it back. It's yours to keep."

"Bella?!" Alice's voice rang out as she opened the door. She wore a huge smile on her face as she ran over to me, hugging me against her. Edward still held me against his chest, so it was an odd hug. He made no move to let me go. I was suddenly thankful for Alice's interruption. That conversation with Edward was not something I was ready for.

"You don't even know how happy I am to see you awake!" Alice began to cry into the crook of my neck. "We're so sorry, Bella! I missed you so much."

I pecked the top of her head. "I missed you, too, Ali. It's okay."

She sighed, wiping her under eyes before glaring at me. "It's not okay."

"Oh, dear!" Esme smiled through thick tears as she approached the 3 of us, grabbing my hand and holding it against her heart. "Oh, Bella, sweetie. How do you feel?"

I frowned, debating. How did I feel? How much time did Esme have? I needed hours - maybe days - to lay my feelings out on the fucking table.

I settled with "Okay... just uncomfortable."

"Bella," Carlisle waltzed into the room, his eyes swimming with relief. An older man followed him in a white labcoat. His hair was extremely long and dark, like Billy Black's. I shuddered at the memory, my heart beating heavily in my chest. "I heard you talking, so I grabbed your doctor. How do you feel, dear?" He asked, gently placing his fingertip on my chin and softly turning my head in order to examine the damage on my face. The doctor stood next to him, writing on a clipboard.

"I'm okay," I muttered.

"Bella, my name is Dr. Aro," the man introduced himself. He smiled warmly, but made no move to touch me at all. I liked him already. He seemed to respect boundaries.

Or, he probably was aware of the fact that I was abused, kidnapped and raped, and figured I would flip out if a stranger touched me.

He was probably right.

"How are you feeling?"

"O-okay," I stammered weakly.

"It's great to see you awake and alert. He began checking different dials on the machines attached to me. He was silent as he wrote on the clipboard. Edward's family kept their eyes trained on me, which made me a tad uncomfortable. It looked as though they were waiting for me to combust. I guess it looked like I would to them.

"Bella, if it's alright, I would like to speak with you privately for a moment."

Without realizing, I grabbed onto Edward's hand and squeezed for dear life. I shouldn't have, if I plan on forcing my way out of his life, but it was completely on impulse.

Dr. Aro noticed my distress. "He can stay, if you wish," he murmured as Edward rubbed circles into the back of my hand and smiled in encouragement.

Esme kissed my forehead, and Alice and Carlisle smiled with warmth before the 3 of them left the room.

Dr. Aro sighed. "Bella, this will not be pleasant to discuss, but I need to know if you would like to be examined for sexual assault."

My eyes widened, and I felt Edward's hand tighten around mine, his body growing rigid. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Not a peep. Could I really talk about that? In front of Edward? He would definitely leave me if I did. He would be utterly disgusted.

"Bella, love, relax, it's okay, you're safe now." I didn't realize my heart was racing - shown by the monitor - and I was hyperventilating until Edward spoke.

"I know it's scary, Bella, but it is a great course of action to take a time like this."

Tears fell from my eyes, landing on my hospital gown heavily. All I could do was shake my head. I was terrified that an examination would force me to relive that night. To relive his rough hands holding me down. His putrid breath so close to my face. His angry eyes boring into mine. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't.

"She doesn't seem comfortable with the idea, sir," Edward was polite, but there was a warning in his tone.

"I understand, but-"

"Please, no," was all I could whisper.

Dr. Aro sighed in frustration, but nodded in defeat. "Would you at least like to talk about it?"

I hid my face in my hands, hoping he'd get the memo.

"She doesn't want to discuss that, doctor. Please, allow her to heal in her own way."

"Mr. Cullen, I understand your concern - I truly do - but it would really be best for Bella to express her emotions and talk about what happened."

"And she will," Edward growled protectively. "But she hasn't even been awake for 30 minutes yet. Don't rush her."

Dr. Aro gave Edward a bit of a dirty look before mumbling something about grabbing something for me. He shuffled out of the room after smiling gently at me.

Edward immediately grabbed my face in his hands, searching my eyes wildly. "Baby, listen to me. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. This isn't your fault, and it certainly does not make you any less of a person. You'll always be my warm, strong, beautiful Bella, okay?"

I felt my lower lip trembling as I gazed into his eyes. He leaned forward and gently kissed my forehead. "We will get through this together, love. I will never leave you. I will never give up on you, especially because of this. I'm yours forever, I promise. I know I said it before - and failed you - but I will never let anyone hurt you ever again. You're safe with me."

I smiled gently, not knowing what to say. Because, the fear of him leaving me because of this would not go away. It was a weight on my shoulders that I simply couldn't lift. I knew Edward deserved better, I just didn't know when he would finally realize it.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: so… this chapter shouldn't disappoint ;) after all the angst, I think it's time for some major fluff!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight!

EPOV:

I yawned as I continued my intense gaze on Bella's face, softly trailing the tips of my fingers up and down her arm.

Bella was found yesterday. Last night, we all thought that it was best for her to be flown back to Forks Hospital so she could be under Dad's care. Since he loved Bella as a daughter, we knew he would make her his top priority. Also, we wanted her to be comfortable, and we knew that she would rather have Dad working on her than any other man.

It was 6 AM, but I couldn't sleep. I slept a mere 4 hours next to her, cramped against her tiny body on the hospital bed. Since my family has been with us the entire time, we have not had a chance to finish our conversation.

That fucking conversation. Everything about it blew my mind! How could she ever think that my feelings for her could just disappear? Had I failed in showing her my undying love? Or did they just ruin the self-confidence that she had?

Oh, how I wished I was the one to kill them. They got off far too easy, in my personal opinion. How dare they kill her spunk? Her soul?

I could see the defeat in her eyes. I could feel the pain radiating off her body, even when she's asleep. My heart hurts. It feels so heavy in my chest. The agony continues to swallow me while, even though we have her back.

Because, things are still not the same. Bella has a lot of healing to do, and she currently feels as though she deserves to heal without anyone by her side, helping her throughout the entire process.

It kills me to hear these things. How could she ever believe that I wouldn't be there to hold her tight when she fell apart? That I wouldn't do whatever it takes to chase her demons away?

What do i have to do to show her?

I scowled in frustration, staring at the wall and letting out a sigh. I needed to do something to express my love for her. Maybe, in this situation, words were not enough.

Dad promised she would be asleep until early afternoon, maybe even dinner time, due to the pain medicine she was currently on. He would be here in an hour for his shift, so he will be able to help Bella if she wakes up for whatever reason. All I needed was a couple hours at the store, and I would come right back.

When his shift finally started, he smiled gently at me when he entered the room.

"How is she?" He asked as he grabbed the clipboard and checked over some of her paperwork.

I shrugged indifferently. "The same. Still asleep."

"Yes, as predicted. How are you?" He turned his fatherly gaze on me.

"I don't even know. This is going to be so tough. She seriously thinks she doesn't deserve any help. Like it's her fault or something!"

"That is very common in victims like Bella. We just have to continue reminding her that we are here to help, and that we love her, no matter how much she argues. Support is what she needs now more than anything."

"But she's so stubborn!"

"It will take time, but she will heal. She is already so strong for living through such a terrible childhood. We have to remind her to have faith in herself."

I nodded, feeling more determined because of his words. "I'm gonna go to the store and get some things for her. Call me if she wakes up, please."

"Of course. Be careful," he urged as he brought his attention to Bella.

I kissed her forehead gingerly before exiting the room.

Right when I arrived home, I ran up to Alice's room. I hoped she was awake, because I needed her help.

I was thrilled to see her and Rosalie both asleep in Alice's bed. More brain power for perfect gifts for Bella.

I felt a bit more light-hearted at the thought of showering Bella with welcome-home gifts. I knew she would protest at first, but I just wanted to make her happy and to show her how much I care.

I turned on the light, causing both of them to groan.

Alice squinted at me. "Edward? What are you doing? Is Bella okay?"

I chuckled. "Yes, but you 2 need to get up, pronto! I want to get her some welcome-home gifts. I need some help from the female brain."

They both smiled before agreeing.

"Let us shower and get dressed," Alice suggested.

"Okay, I'll do so the same."

After my shower, I wondered downstairs in search of Mom. I found her making coffee in the kitchen.

"Mom, can you please do me a favor?"

"What is it, dear?"

"Bella absolutely loves your snickerdoodles. Can you please make some while I go to the store with Alice and Rosalie? I'm going to get her some gifts. Dad said she will be released today."

Mom snickered, her eyes shining. "Of course."

I kissed her cheek quickly. "Thanks!"

"Is she okay, Edward?" Mom asked warily. I rubbed the back of my neck in stress. "I really don't know... I don't think so," I admitted in anger. I was so pissed a them for getting into Bella's head. She shouldn't have been tainted by their presences.

"Bella is strong, baby. Everything ahe's been through... she will get through this, as well. I know it."

I smiled sadly. "I think so, too, but it will be a bumpy road."

Mom pattern my shoulder sadly. "I read a quote one time. It said 'difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations'..."

Once Alice and Rosalie were finally ready, I was practically skipping to my car.

We decided to start off at Target. I had no idea what I was going to get her, I just wanted everything to be heartfelt and special.

"Oh, what about one of these?!" Alice gestured excitedly to a gargantuan stuffed dog. It was probably as tall as her, and I bet she couldn't get her arm around it. "Yeah, she would like that." I chuckled. It was corny and cliche, but I knew Bella loved dogs, and I don't think she has any stuffed animals at all. It just felt like something a normal couple would get one another, and that's how I wanted Bella to feel. Normal. Not broken or used or worthless.

Between Rosalie, Alice, and I, we were doing very well. In one cart sat the giant dog. Another cart was filled with a king-sized blanket that was unbelievably soft and cozy, a few scented candles, a new journal and pack of pens, a bag of her favorite chocolates (lindor truffles), a few dozen bouquet of flowers, a big container of lavender-scented bubble bath, and a frame for my favorite photo of us: when we went to star-lit mountain, we took a "selfie" on her iPhone with the beautiful sunrise occurring behind us. We both wore blinding smiles on her faces, basking in our newfound love.

I didn't know if I was suffocating Bella with gifts and surprises, but I did know that I felt suffocated by the thought of not spending the rest of my life with her. I was panicking internally, following through with any and every idea that came to mind that would help me keep her forever.

Alice and Rosalie bought Bella gifts for her from themselves, as well. We stopped at Walmart, and, together, they scrolled through their phones and found pictures of all of us in the group, intending to print them at Walmart and glue them as a collage to a humongous piece of cardboard to be framed. They were going to hang it in Bella's room as a constant reminder of the love we have for her. The fun times the 6 of us had, together. I laughed with the 2 of them as we sat in Walmart and picked out photos. Many were from our drunken nights acting up. Bella, Alice and Rosalie tangled together in a game of twister. The 6 of us huddled on the floor in a mass of pillows and blankets the night we watched that vampire romance… the night i first kissed Bella. Emmett and Jasper attempting to show Bella how to correctly shoot the ball for beer pong. They included individual pictures with Bella, as well as group shots. They even printed photos of just Bella and I from my phone. I couldn't wait to see the collage when it was finished. I knew Bella would absolutely love it.

I asked Alice and Rosalie to call Emmett and Jasper over and help them set up Bella's room with all the gifts while I went back to the hospital. I gave them instructions regarding all the ideas I could muster before rushing out to my Volvo. Before I left, however, I left a note on the first 2 pages of Bella's new journal I bought for her. The words just seemed to pour out of me without a hint of recognition.

My Bella,

There are so many different ways that I want to show you my love. I will spend the rest of my life figuring out these different ways, utilizing them in every possible way. It is the least you deserve, because you mean absolutely everything to me. It will be my honor to spend the rest of my life showing you every variation of pure love that you can imagine. I will always cherish you, protect you, respect you, and love you. You are the reason behind every smile on my face. I was nothing before I found you- just merely walking the Earth, looking for a true reason to live. Thank God I finally found my reason: you. I will forever be thankful for being able to call you mine. Someone so selfless, brave, beautiful, warm, kind, accepting, funny, and loving. You are truly my own personal angel. Nothing on this Earth could ever make me feel any differently or any less for you. We can get through this together. This is just a bump in the road through this journey of life. I will be there every single step of the way, I promise you that. We are stronger than this. Scratch that, we are stronger than ANYTHING. Nothing could ever ruin this beautiful love that we share.

Yours always and forever,

Edward

I arrived at the hospital in record time. She was still asleep, even snoring softly. I chuckled as I grazed her forehead with a kiss.

I sat next to her, watching reruns of "The Office" on NBC for hours. I was glad for the distraction - the show was hilarious - but, I was beyond thrilled when I heard her mutter my name in confusion.

"Hey, baby," I smiled eagerly, grasping her tiny hand in mine.

"What time is it?"

I checked my phone. "4 PM. Dad said you could go home once you woke up, and he gives you one last checkup. How do you feel?"

She bit her lip, debating. She was too adorable. "Okay, I think. I'm definitely ready to go home."

I brushed my thumb across the softness of her cheeks. "Okay, love. I'll take you home now."

I called for Dad, and he was beyond thrilled to give Bella her final check-up so she could go home. He knows how much she hates hospitals, and he worries about her being even more upset because she has to stay in one.

"I'll be home in about 2 hours. I'll check on you again then, okay, Bella?" He offered kindly. She merely nodded as I helped her into the wheelchair. Apparently, that vile Phil had done some damage to her ribs and stomach the previous day because she burnt their breakfast, so she was trying to hide the fact that she was wincing through her movements

I helped her in the car and held her hand throughout the entire drive. She didn't speak once, completely trapped in her own mind. I hate every second of it, wishing she could just open up to me, but I didn't want to push her. I just hoped her welcome-home gifts would show her how much we cared.

I helped her into the house, and was happy when she didn't try to push me away. Actually, she settled into my arms comfortably as I carried her bridal style.

"Bella," Mom sighed happily, kissing Bella on the forehead, even though she was still wrapped tightly in my arms. I didn't plan on letting her go.

"Hi, Esme. I missed you," Bella mumbled tiredly.

Esme sighed, tears welling in her eyes. "Oh, sweetie, I missed you more than you know. I'm so, so glad you're back home with us."

Bella smiled, nodding her agreement. Mom kissed her once more before I carried Bella upstairs to her room. My heart was pounding in anticipation.

I opened her door and set her down. I heard her gasp in astonishment at the sight. Everyone did a great job. They took apart one of the bouquet of roses and made a trail of rose petals from her door frame to the bed, littering her mattress with the red beauty. Candles were lit all over the room, and the other bouquets of roses were set on each bedside table next to her bed. The giant dog sat snuggly on her bed, facing the door. The collage - huge and mesmerizing - was hung on the wall Bella's bed sat next to. Her new journal was sitting on her bed, as well as the chocolates, the bubble bath, and the new blanket. The picture frame was home to my favorite picture of us, sitting on her left bedside table, next to a plate of Mom's snickerdoodles.

I saw a few books on her desk, and a new teddy bear sitting on her bed. I could only guess that Emmett and Jasper got her those gifts, and I made a mental note to thank them.

She covered her mouth in shock, her beautiful eyes glancing in every direction.

I stood in front of her, placing her hands on my waist. I gazed into her doe eyes with force, willing her to understand. "Don't you see, Bella? We love you. We all love you, and there is nothing that would stop us from that. I will never see you as anything less than what you truly are: strong, independent, intelligent, and sweet. Please, love, you must understand that."

I watched as tears fell from her eyes, landing on her cheeks one after another.

I took her hand in mine, bringing her to the bed. I sat her down next to me, placing the journal in her lap. "I bought you a new journal, so you can vent as much as you need. I took up the first few pages, though. Read it, baby."

She looked me in the eyes, searching for answers. I smiled and gestured to the journal. She took a deep breath before opening it and reading my words.

I watched as a heartwarming smile broke into her gorgeous face, and she was suddenly in my arms, her face pressed into the crook of my neck. I rubbed her back soothingly as I felt her tears soak my skin.

"Edward," she whispered, her breath giving me chills. So much was said in that small moment, even though all she said was my name.

I pressed my cheek against the top of her head after placing a few kisses there. "I love you, Bella. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. You're home now, where you belong. I will never let anything cause you any harm ever again, okay?" I looked into her eyes, hoping she could sense that I was honest. She was always perceptive, so I knew I didn't need to worry about that.

She sat in my arms for a few minutes in a comfortable silence. We just held each other as if we weren't able to let go. Truly, I think that was actually the case.

Eventually, Bella pulled out of my arms and got on her knees on the other side of the bed in order to get a better look at the collage. I heard her soft chuckle at some of the photos, and I imagined the memories coursing through her mind. "Alice and Rosalie made this for you," I informed her.

I knelt next to her, wrapping my arms around her waist. "You'll always be my Bella," I breathed as we both gazed at the photos of our most precious memories with our friends, and with each other.

After a few minutes, I offered to draw Bella a bubble bath and let her unwind in private for a little. As much as I wanted nothing more than to hold her close, I knew she needed to process things.

I poured some of the lavender bath salts into her tub, running the warm water. I walked out of her bathroom and shut the door behind me.

"It's ready whenever you are," I smiled.

She grinned in return, blushing as she walked into her bathroom and shut her door behind her.

I walked over to her desk to examine the unfamiliar books. They were books of motivational quotes. Next to them was a note.

Bella,

Whenever you are feeling down, read some pages from these books. Remember: strength comes from how much you want it. Be the fighter that you are! We love you, and will always be there for you.

-Jasper

I grinned at his present. It was a great idea, especially from someone like Jasper, who was always very perceptive of people's emotions.

I noticed another note next to the teddy bear on her bed.

Belly,

One time (I think you were drunk) you called me your brother bear. Well, here I am in physical form! Whenever you feel upset, just hug brother bear, and you'll know I am there for ya! Love you, Belly! Thanks for being the funniest little sis ever!

-Em

I really had the most amazing people as best friends. I was overwhelmed with the knowledge that they would also be willing to do anything for Bella, as well.

I knew we could all get through this with one another. With the help of my family and my closest friends, Bella will know what it's like to be happy again.

A/N: one of my favorite chapters ever. The fluff kills me… especially after all the angst! The rest of the story will be fluffy, as well :) also, had to include the office! One of my favorite shows (US version, of course). review please! I really wanna know what you guys think of this one!


	30. Chapter 30

A/N: okay soooo I am SO sorry I've been MIA lately! I picked up a second job. On top of that, my best friend called off her engagement with her fiancé (who is a total douche) and he's taking it out on her through their baby. He won't let her see the baby until they go to court and blah blah blah. He's making her life a living hell so I've been spending many, many nights at her house helping her build a case against him. So, I've been super busy! Sorry it took so long :/ I hope you enjoy this chapter! This story is winding down to an end—- SO SAD

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight!

BPOV:

I willed the warm water in the tub and the soothing scent of lavender to calm me down, but my heart was still racing in my chest with such speed that I was truly worried.

Decision-making always causes my anxiety to rise. It was even worse when I couldn't figure out what even needed to be decided.

I just knew things needed to change. I'm stuck in this vortex of pain. Every good thing always comes to an end for me. Who says Edward and his family and the new friends I've found because of him aren't any different?

That was one of the reasons I felt as if I should let him go. Not only am I trying to protect him from being stuck with a pathetic girl like me, but I'm trying to protect myself. If the new people in my life are added into the vortex, and I lose them, I wouldn't be able to cope. I can't grow any more attached to them before I'm forced to let go. I should walk away now, before it's far too late.

But I'm not strong enough.

I can't walk away from Edward, no matter how hard I try. He is my reason for existing. I'm nothing without him.

I began sobbing, clutching at my chest as it contorted in sharp pains. My head began to pound so hard from the force of my cries. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what road to turn onto. My life was just too unpredictable, too filled with pain. It was like walking on fucking eggshells. One wrong move, and something terrible will happen again.

I don't know how long I was sobbing, but after some time, I heard a light knock on my bathroom door.

"Bella?" Edward's velvety voice was filled with grief. "Are you alright? You've been in there for a while."

The sound of his voice - filled with worry for me - brought on a new round of sobs. Edward heard, as he sounded frantic. "Baby, it's okay. Do you want me to get Alice or Mom to help you out of the tub?"

"Edward," was all I could whimper. I hoped he understand that I meant that I longed for him and nobody else. Right now, I would allow myself the pleasure of his arms. Otherwise, I would truly fall apart right then and there.

He understood - he always does. "Okay, love, I'm coming in."

He opened the door, and I was met with his agonized, yet astonishingly beautiful green eyes. He smiled sadly at me before reaching for the towel hung next to the bathtub. All I could do was continue sobbing as he reached into the tub and pulled me up, wrapping my soaking-wet body in the towel and clutching me to his chest.

I buried my face in his hard chest and cried severely, so hard that I felt as though I would burst with my salty tears.

Edward collapsed on my bathroom floor with me in his arms, rocking me back and forth as I cried. "Shh, baby, I'm here now. You're safe," he breathed as he peppered my forehead with tiny kisses. His lips sent that familiar spark through my system, and I knew I could never live without this glorious feeling that he manages to bring, even when I'm falling apart like this.

"It's just… too much," I hiccuped against the softness of his neck.

He stood up and carried me to my bed, laying me down and tucking me in. He laid next to me, wrapping me back into the warmth of his arms.

"You can talk to me about it, Bella. Tell me what you're thinking. I'm here to help, always."

I was sobbing too hard to form coherent sentences, so I just blubbered whatever I could. "My real dad leaves… Mom… cancer… Phil… rape… too much."

His voice cracked when he spoke. "Oh, baby, I know. I could only imagine how overwhelming this is. My mom said something very wise: difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. It means that pushing through tough times will make you stronger in the end, and that, sometimes, struggling is the beginning of a great life. You will have a great life, now, Bella. I'll make sure of it, if it's the last thing I do."

My crying subsided enough to form an argument. "But, I've never had a great life. Everything great is always taken from me. How do I know you're not next? Or your family? Or friends? I'm going to lose somebody. It's the way my life works."

He cupped my face in his hands, searching my eyes. "Listen to me, love. You will never lose any of us. We all love you more than you know. We will be here to help you forever. Please, don't forget that, please."

"I'm just so… weak. I'm suffocating," I croaked.

"Then let me be your air."

I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but love and determination. "I'm serious, Bella. Let me help you heal. Let me show you how beautiful life and love can be. Let me hold you when you fall apart." He trailed his thumbs across my cheeks as he spoke, and the passion he felt for me was so very evident in his orbs. He was captivating me with one look. He was putting his soul in his eyes, willing me to understand the depth of his love.

"You shouldn't have to-"

He interrupted me with a scowl. "Don't finish that sentence. You've brought me back to life. Let me do the same for you."

I sighed. I didn't want to be anybody's burden, but I know Edward. He won't stop until I'm happy again. "Okay."

After my crying finally subsided, I got to really take a look at all the gifts everyone had graciously gotten me. I cried tears of joy this time when gazing at all the gifts. I couldn't believe they felt so strongly for me. Their friendship made my heart swell, and I couldn't wait to see them again.

Their gifts showed me that I was still Bella to them, even if I felt like a different person deep down. I was still the clumsy old girl who constantly embarrassed herself and always seemed to get the most drunk. I laughed lightly at the pictures from the collage, reminiscing on some of the best nights of my painful life.

I fell asleep in Edward's arms while clutching Emmett's bear to my chest, a smile on my face.

I slept peacefully for the first time in a week. Waking up in my bed, in Edward's arms, was one of the greatest feelings in the world. I didn't have to fear waking up to people who wanted me dead anymore. I could try to move on and put myself back together, with the help of my friends and family.

"Good morning, love," Edward murmured softly as he grazed his fingertips down my cheek.

"Morning," I smiled.

He suddenly frowned, and a look of pain flashed in his eyes. His brows furrowed in frustration.

"What is it?" I whispered, running my fingers through his bronze locks.

He sighed. "I'm so sorry, Bella, but there's something we need to discuss. It's going to be difficult, but it's important, alright?"

I nodded, my hands growing clammy.

"While you were in the tub last night, my Dad reminded me that it's vital that you get… checked. You know, for… STD's."

My mouth formed an "oh," and I looked at the wall. I couldn't brace something like that. It was nothing but a reminder of the fact that Jacob had assaulted me.

Edward kissed my forehead before resting his on it. "I'm sorry. I know you don't want to. I wish I could take away all your pain, baby, I really do."

I sighed deeply, not knowing what to say.

Edward kissed the tip of my nose. "Think of it this way: what's a few minutes of discomfort versus a lifetime of peace of mind? Let's just get this bullshit over with so we can truly move on and start over. How does that sound?"

He made a good point, and I couldn't disagree - no matter how fucking badly I wanted to.

That's how I found myself in the car with him an hour later, driving to the hospital. Carlisle was already there, but I didn't feel comfortable with him doing the STD check. I didn't want to make it more obvious to his family that I was just not enough for their son.

Edward gripped my hand tightly in his the entire time we walked through the parking lot and into the building. My heart was pounding and my hands were so clammy that I felt them slipping through Edward's vice grip. It still wasn't enough to make him let go.

Carlisle set me up with a female doctor, who he spoke very highly of. I entered a tiny room with Edward in tow. She was waiting for me at a computer chair, turning and smiling when she heard us approach.

She was a bit older than Carlisle, her eyes shining with wisdom. She was Native American, like Jacob, but there was no trace of malice in her face.

"Hello, Bella. I'm Doctor Clearwater, but you can call me Sue. Have a seat, get comfy. Hello, Edward, how are you?"

I furrowed my brows, confused as to how they knew one another. "I haven't seen Mrs. Clearwater in years. Alice used to do gymnastics with her daughter when we were very young."

I offered a tiny smile as I plopped lightly on the bed, the paper crinkling beneath me. Edward sat in the plastic chair next to the bed, his hand still holding mine.

"I'm so sorry you're here, Bella, but I'm glad you took the initiative to come. You're doing the right thing, dear," she reminded me with a smile.

"How long will the results take?" I asked timidly.

"Anywhere from 2 days up to a week. But, I have some information that could give you some peace of mind while you're waiting."

I scowled, confused. "What is it?"

"Since he's already deceased - and he was a terrible person, anyway - let's throw confidentiality out the window. I'm from La Push, where the community is very close. I can assure you that Jacob has never had a girlfriend, so that may help ease your mind."

I smiled. It made me feel a tad better, but who knows if he's never had a one night stand?

Edward decided to distract me throughout the entire process by telling me one of the most amazing stories I've ever heard while Dr. Clearwater did the procedure.

Edward told me that Rosalie beat Tanya Denali to a pulp in my honor. I couldn't control the tears of gratitude that swam in my eyes at the very thought of it. Rosalie risked getting suspended for 2 weeks because of me? It was just more proof that everyone really cared about me and wanted me home more than anything.

I basked in the fact that Tanya was probably sitting at home nursing a black and blue eye. I didn't like the way she attempted to control Edward. I didn't like her fucking attitude. And, obviously, I didn't like the fact that she previously slept with Edward.

I will have to do something nice for Rosalie as gesture of thanks. I spent the procedure trying to distract myself with new ideas.

Surprisingly, I handled the entire process rather well. Sure, my stomach felt like it was inside out, and my heart was racing, but it was easy to force myself to stay afloat. I feared that I would think I was drowning the whole time.

Edward was smiling the whole time we walked back to the car.

"What's got you so happy?" I asked.

"I'm just proud of you, Bella. You handled that so well. You're so strong, and only getting stronger."

"I'm not sure about that."

He stopped walking, stepping in front of me and grasping my face in his hands. My skin tingled at the very simple gesture. "Don't be so hard on yourself, love. You're doing great." He kissed the tip of my nose before helping me into the car.

We got home to find Rosalie and Emmett's cars in the driveway.

"BELLA!" Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper yelled at once when I walked in the house. They ran over and wrapped their arms around me in a group hug. I heard a chorus of "we missed you!" "Are you alright?" "Thank God you're back!" "We're so sorry." "We love you so much!"

I hastily wiped at the tears in my eyes when they let go of me. "I missed you guys, too."

"We're all going out for dinner!" Alice enthused with a smile on her face and in her voice.

I thought it was a great idea, considering how much I'd missed all of them.

We found ourselves at the local diner eating breakfast for dinner. I grew uncomfortable when practically everyone in the restaurant stared at me, but the group kept reminding me to just ignore it.

That was much easier said than done. How could I ignore the fact that all these random people knew the disgusting details of my twisted life?

Sometimes, small town life is good, but - in these instances - it is absolutely miserable. It only takes about 1 hour for word to spread to every resident of Forks.

I wouldn't be able to do it without Edward. My hero. He sat close to me the entire time, so close that our bodies were touching. He rubbed soothing circles onto my hand and randomly bent down to kiss my cheek or the top of my head. Throughout dinner, his soft lips would graze my ear and he would say something simple, such as "you're so beautiful," and "I love you so much."

These little gestures were nothing but a reminder that I could never, ever let him go. He means far too much. I hated to admit that I definitely need him to help me through this.

Would telling him everything that happened help the wounds? Or would the embarrassment and anger open them up and make them bleed? I know Edward would never judge me for what happened, but there's always that little voice in the back of my head that doesn't agree.

We spent dinner laughing at Emmett's antics and chatting about random topics. Nobody brought up anything unpleasant, and I could have kissed them all out of gratitude.

I followed Edward to his room when we returned home. I wanted to lie in his arms and attempt to forget all my pain, but it was still weighing on me with tremendous force.

Would telling him all about it lift this weight off my shoulders? Would it allow me to have some peace of mind? I wanted to find out.

"Edward?"

"Yes, baby?"

I turned in his arms and glanced up at his face. He looked down at me with so much love in his eyes that my decision was made right then and there.

"I want to talk about it. I want to tell you what happened."

A/N: sorry for the cliffy, but I felt it was right to end it there! Review!


	31. Chapter 31

A/N: hey guys! I wanted to thank you for your kind words towards my best friend. Her ex-fiancé happened to have their baby for the day when he found out that she was moving on and hanging out with her ex. He literally kept the baby hostage because of it HAHA! It's not like she even did anything wrong! So immature! And in my state, a parent can do that as long as there's no court ordered custody agreement (which they didn't have at the time). So, they went to court and she was given joint custody of her daughter! And she sees her more often than he does! Yay…. i HATE HIM! Haha:) so, everything is good!

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight!

EPOV:

Bella gazed at me from under her thick lashes, her brown eyes filled with sorrow and embarrassment. That look in her eyes shook me to the very core. It felt like the pain in her eyes was setting me ablaze.

Was I ready to hear this? All the horrid, fucked up things that those cocksuckers did to my Bella? I wasn't sure if I could handle hearing it. It would probably send me into a full-blown meltdown.

But, Bella wants to talk to me about it, just as I've been asking her to do in the first place. I have to put my rage and temper aside to be there for her.

"Of course, Bella. You can tell me anything you wish."

"Promise you won't be mad?"

"I can't promise that," I sighed. She cast her eyes downward, and I realized that she was asking me to promise that I won't be mad at her. I leaned forward and gave her a chaste kiss. "Love, I mean I can't promise that I won't be mad at the situation. I could never, ever be mad at you for any of this. None of this was your fault, okay?"

She hesitates before nodding. I offered her a small smile, silently willing her to continue.

She played with her fingers in her lap, struggling to begin. I stayed quiet patiently, knowing she would do this at her own pace.

"I was so… surprised. I can't believe I really thought Billy and Jacob were relatives of mine. It was so stupid of me to trust people that I didn't know. I've been teaching myself for years now to push everyone away, to protect myself."

"There's no way you could have known that they were lying," I said.

She frowned deeply. "I still should have kept my guard up. I was just so confused. I walked into their house, and immediately Jacob turned into a different person. I asked about the apparent news they had about Phil. That was when Jacob laughed in my face, and said I was stupid. My stomach did a complete somersault, and I knew right then and there that I walked myself into a trap.

"He told me everything. That his Dad and Phil were best friends. That they were given the task to bring me back to him. I tried to attack Jacob. I kicked him in the balls and ran outside. I was literally inches away from your car before he caught me and carried me back in."

My hands were balled in tormented fists at my sides, the anger bubbling up inside me. I swallowed the bile in my throat, reminding myself that I had to stay sane enough to get through this. For Bella.

"He brought me into a bedroom and… well, you know," she was choking on her words, her voice tangling with a heavy sob. I slowly rubbed my hand up and down her back in a gesture of comfort. I think it was more for my own benefit, to be honest. I needed to feel her body in any way that I could. I needed to remind myself that she was with me, where she's safe. Still, my brain was bringing her words to life, showing me images of Jacob assaulting her. I pinched the bridge of my nose, squeezing my eyes shut and counting backwards from 10. I begged my racing heart to slow. I begged my mind to reel itself back into reality. I could not flip out in front of Bella. She was too fragile at the moment and would certainly take it the wrong way.

"Edward?" She called warily, bringing me out of my murderous rage.

"Sorry, just give me a moment," I sighed through gritted teeth. I needed just a few more seconds of silence before she continued.

I opened my eyes to find her glancing at me, her own orbs filled with water. I offered a small smile and nodded, assuring her that she could continue.

"When he was done, he smashed my cell phone before getting on his own and calling Phil. He made me talk to him. I was a-attached to the bed by handcuffs. I c-couldn't escape. The second I heard his voice, I knew I was in for it."

The tears began to fall from her eyes, and the sight of her pain made me begin to cry silently, as well.

"Jacob shoved a needle in my arm and drugged me with s-something. Next thing I know, I'm waking up in a dirty motel. Phil beat me senseless for leaving him. I was stuck in there, b-being restrained unless I was given the luxury to eat or shower. One morning, I pretended to sleep while I listened to them talk about their next plan. I heard 'cabin', 'Oakridge' and 'Laurent' and I knew I had enough info. I had to think of a way to l-leave a clue.

"I was awake in the middle of the night when I saw the knife laying next to me - the one Phil used t-to draw a slit in my forearm for fun. I carved the clues into the table, praying it would work."

"That act is the reason you're in my arms right now, Bella. I don't want you ever thinking that you're worthless or stupid. You saved your own life. Without that note you left, who knows if we would have ever found you?" I choked through my words, unable to imagine the possibility of never seeing my Bella again. I would not have been able to live through it.

Nothing was the same without her. Food had no taste. Sleep did not erase the exhaustion. Music was always a huge love of mine, but - without Bella - I couldn't hear any melodies or rhythms. My life was simply meaningless without her.

She pursed her full lips in wonder, wiping the numerous tears that were cascading down her flushed cheeks. "You're right. I'm not sure if anyone w-would have found me if I didn't leave that note."

I nodded and placed a small kiss on her forehead.

She continued. "They drugged me again before bringing me to the cabin. Living there was just like living at home, instead I couldn't leave. All I did was cater to their every need. I cooked, cleaned, and was beaten when Phil was bored. I was constantly on edge, waiting for Jacob to assault me again. Thank God that never happened."

I let out a huge breath I didn't realize I was holding. One act of sexual assault was already too much sadness and anger on my heart. I greatly feared that he had done it numerous times. Learning that he did not was like finding ice-cold water after being stuck in the desert for days.

"They made me stay in the basement whenever I-I pissed them off. There was n-nothing down there, Edward. Just a single chair. They would… strap me to it and turn the lights off, leaving me in complete silence. It was s-so… maddening. I was stuck with nothing but my fear."

I reached over to gently wipe the tears that were still flowing. "Whenever I got too upset, I thought of y-you. I thought of the way it felt when you held me, and I thought of the way your laugh sounded when we watched that stupid Sharknado movie. I thought of your promise to bring me to a Coldplay concert. I thought of your lips, and your warmth."

She smiled after I kissed her softly before continuing. "I thought of all of you guys. I thought of the fact that I secretly liked shopping with Alice. As much as it exhausted me, it was amazing to spend time with her. I thought of the hilarious look on Jasper's face whenever he saw food when he was stoned. I thought of Emmett secretly enjoying that sappy vampire romance we watched. I thought of Rosalie giving me the confidence I always needed. I thought of your parents… and how they made me feel the way my Mom used to make me feel. Every single solitary happy moment I had with you all was on my mind. You all gave me something to live for."

"Oh, Bella," I breathed, pulling her further into my embrace. She buried her face in my chest as I hugged my cheek to the top of her head. "You can't fathom how scared I was. I thought of you constantly. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think about any fucking thing but you. I was so lost, baby." I was borderline sobbing at this point, clutching her to me as if she would disappear in an instant. "I could never live without you, Bella. Never."

I felt her nod against my chest, her body shaking with the sobs that have been sitting inside her. "I need you, too, Edward. More than anything. But, I'm different now."

"What do you mean?"

"I… ugh. I… well… I don't know when I'll be able to be physical with you again."

I shook my head hastily. "You don't need to worry about that, I promise. All I care about is you being safe and happy, and mine. The only thing on my mind is helping you heal before we even try anything like that. Is that okay?"

"I don't want to make you unhappy. I want to please you."

"Bella, I wish you would understand," I chuckled lightly. "Being your boyfriend is the most amazing pleasure there is. I'm more than happy with you, no matter what."

"You deserve more."

"There is nobody else for me."

"I'm ruined, Edward. I'm just used goods."

I shook my head back and forth. "That's not true. They are at fault for this, but don't let them ruin your spark. You are still intelligent, warm and breathtaking. You will always be everything that I want, and more."

"I just want the world for you…" she trailed off with a deep frown.

"You are my world."

She sighed, but nodded.

I crooked my finger under her chin, willing her to look into my eyes so she could fully understand the truth behind my next words. "Let's not dwell on this too much. Everything is going to be great now, love. You can finally live the life you want - the life you deserve. Where shall we begin?"

She wiped the remaining tears from her perfect face before smiling a tiny smile. "I want to find a job and start applying to colleges. It's time I make something of myself."

I felt a frown form on my face. College. I never really put much thought into Bella and I attending. What if she didn't want to go to the same school as me? What if she wanted to spread her wings and fly? What if she finally wanted to taste the independence that she was never given?

"What's wrong?" She worried, tracing my lips with her fingertips lightly.

"It's nothing. I just wonder what's gonna happen when it comes to college."

She scowled. "Well, we go together, right?"

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was even holding. "Sounds absolutely perfect."

She giggled. "Did you think I would want us to be apart?"

I shrugged, attempting to seem nonchalant. "Kind of."

She rolled her eyes, playfully shoving my chest. "Do you really not see how much I need you?"

I pressed my lips to hers. Once. Twice. Three times. "I was being foolish."

"Indeed, you were."

"I love you."

She smiled and pressed her lips against my nose. "I love you, too."

The next Day was Saturday and Bella and I made plans to get some chocolate chip pancakes from the local diner for breakfast before waltzing along the main strip of town in hunt of a job for her.

"Do you have any place you want to work more than another?" I asked as I maneuvered the Volvo out of the driveway. I thought it was a great idea for Bella to get a job. I could tell it excited her to be able to start a normal life. She's always great at things that require responsibility. Any employer would be beyond lucky to have her.

"Not really, I'll take anything I can find."

"I could see you enjoying a library or a daycare. Maybe a coffee shop, too."

"Yeah, especially the library. I could see myself getting lost in those books. I've never had much of a selection. You're right."

"Per usual," I joked. Bella rolled her eyes teasingly and turned the music louder.

An hour later, we were leaving the diner and walking a few blocks over to Main Street. Bella's eyes lightened up when we - indeed - walked past the library.

"There's no 'help wanted' sign," she pouted.

"Let's go in and find out for ourselves," I offered.

We trotted happily inside, our hands clasped around one another's.

An older man was seated behind the desk, giant glasses propped on top of his red nose. His hair was graying and very thin, almost standing up in different directions. He was a bit heavy-set, his smile was warm and welcoming.

"Hello there, can I help you?"

"Well, I was actually coming to see if you're hiring."

"At the moment, we are not. However, my daughter helps me run the place and she is going to be leaving us next month because she is pregnant. I'll be needing help then, if you would still be interested."

Bella nodded eagerly, and my heart skipped a beat at the sight in front of me. I was so proud of her for taking this step in the process of healing. She was so brave and so determined to finally live the life she deserved. Everything about her was admirable. My own personal superhero.

"How about I take down your information and we could set up an interview when the time comes?"

His suggestion reminded me that Bella would be needing a new cell phone. I would have to take her to the store today to get one.

"She actually needs a new cell phone, but you can put down my number for now. We live together," I informed him with a smile on my face.

"Okay, sounds good."

Bella wrote down her name accompanied with my phone number. "What would the hours be?" She inquired.

"Well, I imagine you're still in school. I could use some help maybe 3 nights during the week for about 4 hours each shift. On top of that, maybe a longer shift on a Sunday. How does that sound?"

"Perfect!" She enthused excitedly.

After the library, Bella and I walked back to the car. "Why don't we stop at the AT&T store and get you a new phone, love?"

"No, Edward, they're far too expensive. I'll buy myself one once I start working. I don't need one that badly."

"It will make me feel better if you always have a way of contacting me in case you need help."

"Can I at least pay you back?"

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. Money would never - could never - be an issue for me when it comes to Bella. I would give her every last dime behind my fucking name if she needed. But, I know she has a tremendous sense of pride and she enjoys feeling independent. She hates others taking care of her, and I'll always respect her wishes when it comes to her self-confidence. "That's fine," I chuckled.

I bought Bella a brand new iPhone, just for the sake of spoiling the shit out of her. She scowled the entire time, but not as much as I did when I noticed the salesman attempting to look down her shirt. I wrapped my arm around her waist tightly and gave him the most menacing glare imaginable. His eyes were never on her again. I couldn't stand it when men looked at her as if she was nothing but a piece of greasy meat. Anyone showing my Bella a sign of disrespect sends me through a bit of a frenzy.

"Edward?" She asked in a tiny voice as we were driving back home.

"Hmm?"

"Can we stop somewhere before we go home?"

"Sure, where?"

She hesitated before revealing the destination. I glanced over to see her chewing her bottom lip. "Bella?"

"I want to bring you to my mother's tombstone… if that's alright."

I truly felt honored in that moment. I knew Bella thought the world of her mother, and the fact that she wanted to bring me to her grave meant that I was truly special to her. Like her mother would have approved of our relationship if she were still alive. I could only hope that her Mom was happy with Bella choosing me to be her boyfriend. I wanted her to see that I was someone who would always make sure her daughter was happy and safe - even if I failed her by not going with her to the Black residence. I hope more than anything that Bella and her Mom know I would never make that mistake again.

"I would love to, baby."

My car shook gently as we drove over the stone path. The tombstones passed by slowly, each of them different in their own ways. Some were bare, some were small, some were insanely large. Some had flowers and pictures everywhere. Some had American flags, indicating a veteran.

I parked the Volvo when Bella told Mom e to, and i helped her walk through the wet grass. Her hand was holding mine tightly and I could sense that she was upset. I hated that she always felt this way, but I was glad she was taking me.

We stopped at a tombstone that read "Renee Dwyer. July 8th, 1968 - February 19th, 2013. Devoted mother, wonderful wife, courageous soul." Next to the tombstone sat a big, black suitcase. I furrowed my brows in confusion as Bella pulled a key from her purse before opening the suitcase. Inside sat a spiral notebook with a pack of colorful pens and sharpies. Everything in the suitcase was inside plastic bags with ziplocks.

She glanced up at me and smiled with a timid look in her eyes. "I write to her in this notebook every time I visit. This is my special journal to her… all my entries are basically about me keeping her updated on my life. Just talking to her in general. I write her poems, too."

"And you keep it in the suitcase because of the rain, correct?"

She nodded. I was truly flabbergasted at the notion. Bella never ceased to amaze me. Her creativity and intelligence was truly astounding. I loved that she always seemed to reach as deeply as she could when it comes to showing her loved ones how she feels towards them. She's so down to earth, so warm.

"Do you think I could write a letter to her in the notebook?" I asked as we sat on the grass, ignoring the fact that it was wet and cold. None of that mattered in moments like these.

She smiled and glanced at me with watery eyes. "I would love that."

I grabbed a black pen and grinned crookedly before reaching over and grabbing the notebook.

Finding the words to say came effortlessly. Everything about my love for Bella was effortless.

Mrs. Dwyer,

I really am glad to be sending you a message. You mean so much to Bella, so it means a lot that I have the honor to tell you about her. Your daughter has the most beautiful soul I've ever witnessed. Her kind heart and free spirit are enchanting. You have truly raised a wonderful person. She is responsible, smart and absolutely loving. She would give everything in her pockets to anyone that needs it. Her bravery is admirable and her wonderful mind is so perfectly mysterious. You would be so proud of the person she is. Actually, I'm very sure that you are. She loves you more than I could place into words and she is always doing everything in her power to make sure you live on through her heart. You are always on her mind. I want you to know that I am very in love with her, and I will spend the rest of my life making sure she is taken care of. She will always be happy and safe. I will never hurt her or let any harm come her way. My life is truly devoted to making her smile. She is the light of my life, the reason I am the man I am today. Thank you for bringing her into this world. I will be sure to write to you again, soon, as long as Bella wishes me to.

-Edward Anthony Cullen

I allowed her to read the entry, and I watched as tears fell from her eyes and onto the paper. She glanced at me when she was finished reading and launched herself into my arms, kissing me with a fire that could burn down half the state. Our lips moved in sync with a spark that erupted my body. I cupped her cheeks in my hands, willing her to be as close as possible.

"Thank you," she breathed when she pulled away, our foreheads resting on one another's.

"For what?" I asked as I peppered her nose with a few kisses.

"For loving me the way you do. For making this life worth living."

"You deserve everything, baby. I want to give you the world."

"You already did. You gave me you."

A/N: hope you guys enjoyed! Now… I have a question. This story still has a few more chapters before the epilogue, however, I'm not sure how to completely end the story. Would you guys like to read a sequel? It would most likely be about the gang heading off to college. It would be more lighthearted and fun… but I'm not sure when I would write it since i have a new story planned out. The other option is ending this story completely… I would make the epilogue about their life maybe 10-20 years down the line? So just review and let me know what you guys would prefer! Leaving it up to you :) thanks!


	32. Chapter 32

A/N: hey everyone! Sorry this chapter has taken so long, I've been unbelievably busy lately! This chapter is sweet and to the point, and next chapter will be the epilogue! :( I will miss writing this story so much!

Here is a summary of the next story I have in mind… lemme know what you think!:

Edward Cullen has always been in love with his best friend, Bella Swan. When a new student in town shows interest in Bella, she turns to Edward for help to show her how to be the perfect girlfriend. Will this finally be his chance to show Bella how he truly feels?

BPOV:

I couldn't help the smile that was plastered on my face while I finished wrapping everyone's Christmas presents. I truly could not believe the turn that my life has taken.

It has been one month since I was found at the cabin. This month has been emotionally difficult, yet spiritually progressive. I've used every flashback and nightmare regarding the abuse I endured from Phil and Jacob to fuel my self-esteem and empowerment. It took a lot of focusing and determination, but I am slowly pulling myself out of the black hole that my mind used to be. With the help of those around me, I'm learning what it's like to be happy again. The feeling is tremendous and so very freeing.

I began working at the library last week. It's truly a lot of fun and very rewarding to put work into something and actually receive gratuity in return. My boss is sweet and kind, and we often find ourselves discussing different books rather than stocking shelves and reorganizing.

Laurent is awaiting his trial. He was charged with kidnapping and harboring a fugitive, and is sitting in jail until court begins. I'm not looking forward to testifying, but I know the case will be won easily. The evidence against him is rather large, and I was promised he does not stand a chance.

One of the best parts of Phil's death was not even the fact that he can never hurt me again, but the discovery that was made: my mother left behind a great deal of money because of her life insurance policy. She wrote in her will that it would be put in Phil's hands, since she trusted him with taking care of me. I don't blame her, since he was perfectly normal before her death. Now, since he is gone, the money is mine. It was a pretty fair amount, and I stored it in a savings account that I promised myself I would not touch unless it was an emergency. However, I did allow myself to spoil my loved ones for Christmas with some of the money. They've done so much for me the past few months, so it is the very least I could do.

A knock on my door frame interrupted my thoughts. I glanced up to see my personal Greek God leaning against the wall with a smirk on his face. "Are those all for me?" He teased, gesturing with his chin to all the presents spread around my bedroom floor.

"No, they're for Alice," I joked as he waltzed into the room and sat directly behind me, wrapping his arms around my frame and pulling me backwards against his chest. I sighed in sheer contentment as he plopped a kiss onto the top of my head.

"Remember what I said, Edward: I'll be pissed if you spent too much on me." Tomorrow is Christmas and I have a very uneasy feeling in my stomach that is telling me that Edward went overboard. His love for spoiling me is something I would never get used to, especially since nobody besides him and his family/friends has cared about me in a few years.

"Love, it's our first Christmas together. Must you always be so difficult?" I could hear the crooked smile in his velvety voice.

"I thought you liked that I'm stubborn."

"Not when it comes to spoiling you rotten."

I turned in his arms a bit so I could see his face. "I don't need anything other than you."

He smiled and leaned in for an innocent kiss that - very quickly - turned heated. We haven't been physical at all since my return home: nothing more than a heavy makeout session. Edward has been absolutely great about it. Actually, he's usually the one to stop us when we get a little too hot and heavy. He's terrified of pushing me too far, because he knows how easy it is for me to have flashbacks that force me back into that black hole. He's always so tender and understanding, and it truly kills me that I cannot give him everything he needs.

Habitually, he pulled away once our tongues grew tired of fighting one another's. "You're intoxicating, baby. It's so hard to control myself sometimes," he muttered close to my ear.

"I'm getting better. One day, soon, we can try again." I knew that right now would only be disastrous, since thoughts of Jacob's hands on my body still plague me now and again.

"Not until you're absolutely positive, Bella. We have forever together - there's no rush."

I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Forever."

"It's Christmas! Get your ass up, bitch!" Alice's mighty voice dragged me from the beautiful sleep I was spending in Edward's arms the next morning. I cracked an eye open to see her face a mere few inches from mine, her blue eyes brighter than the sun.

"I should have warned you last night. She does this every year," Edward's raspy voice, still so beautifully-filled with sleep, mumbled groggily into the pillow beside my head. I smirked and snuggled deeper into his arms. "We'll be down in 5 minutes. I promise."

She huffed, but climbed off my bed and pranced downstairs gracefully.

"Mmm, Merry Christmas, love," Edward's voice was a gentle caress in my ear. I sighed and kissed his chiseled chest.

"Merry Christmas."

"This is already the best Christmas ever, and it's only 7:30 AM."

I giggled, his words elating me. "She really does this every year?"

He nodded. "Sometimes I forget that you don't have any siblings. I would consider yourself lucky."

I slapped his chest playfully before offering him a chaste kiss. "Let's go downstairs before she has a severe conniption."

The entire living room was overflowing with gifts for everybody. Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were coming over later tonight to exchange presents, once they were finished with their own family parties. Alice already made it her duty to separate the gifts into piles for everyone. She instructed everyone to sit in front of their own pile of presents. Esme waltzed into the room with a tray of her homemade peppermint hot chocolate, and I could immediately feel my mouth water at the sweet smell. Carlisle found "A Christmas Story" on TV and put it on in the background. I chuckled at his genuine laugh as he watched the movie.

"I'm going first!" Alice declared, opening up a present from Carlisle. It was a new pack of art pencils for sketching designs. Alice was seriously considering a career in fashion, so she was signing up to take art classes next semester in order to gain some more skill. It made me so proud to watch her pursue something that truly brought a smile to her face and even more pep in her spunky step.

We took turns opening gifts from Carlisle and Esme. Edward got more sweatshirts and a new pair of sneakers, a radio for his car, and some sort of video game he's been playing lately with Jasper and Emmett. Alice also received some diamond earrings, a new big blanket for her bed that looked heavenly and a few expensive-looking makeup palettes that consisted of God-only-knows-what.

Before I even began opening the gifts, Carlisle and Esme informed me that my main gift was not currently in the room. While trying to figure out what that meant; they ushered me to open the other gift first. I tore the paper open hastily, earning myself a paper cut: great. Edward chuckled teasingly while fetching me a bandaid. After that fiasco, I was finally able to see the first present I've received in years: a photo of Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Edward and I on Thanksgiving. We stood in front of the fireplace, each of us in a fit of laughter over something Oliver had done. Edward's Grandpa snapped the photo at the perfect moment. The frame that housed the picture was a deep brown wood with the word "family" engraved at the bottom in a neat cursive.

"It's… perfect," I breathed, gently running my finger along the wood. These people truly meant the world to me, and I owed them my entire life. "I love it."

"Would you like to go see your next present? It's also from Edward. It was his idea," Esme smiled with warmth radiating from her eyes.

"Sure, I'm excited!"

The 4 of them led me into the garage, where the sight in front of me caused my jaw to drop and my heart to skip numerous beats. I couldn't control the grin that spread across my face like a wildfire.

In front of me was a tiny, russet-colored Goldendoodle puppy playing with a blue bone. He pranced clumsily to Esme and plopped onto her feet happily. He was so fucking adorable. There was no other way to put it.

"You… got me a puppy?" I croaked in disbelief as the dog ran up to me upon hearing my voice. I bent down and scooped him easily into my arms, clutching him tightly against my chest. He nuzzled his tiny face into my neck and licked me a few times. I squealed happily.

"I see how often you look at pictures and videos of dogs on your laptop, Bella. Especially goldendoodles. We knew he would make you happy, along with the rest of us, too."

"Where did you get him?! Thank you so much! When did you get him?! I can't believe this!" I had word-vomit, but i couldn't find it in me to care. I never really spent too much time with dogs before, but playing with Oliver on Thanksgiving completely forced me to fall in love with them. Their little personalities and fiercely loving qualities had me hooked.

"I didn't actually work yesterday. I drove to Seattle to get him from a friend of ours that breeds dogs," Carlisle informed with a gleam in his eye. The Cullen's were so giving that I couldn't even feel uncomfortable with the fact that their gift to me was so extravagant. I knew they were the type of people that found happiness in spoiling ones they loved.

"We're so glad he didn't bark in here all night. I really didn't want you to hear him," Esme snickered.

"He's perfect. What's his name?" I asked as I set the dog down so he could continue his assault on the poor blue bone.

"We left that up to you to decide," Alice said with a smile.

"Let's bring him inside so he can get acquainted with the house while you decide," Edward suggested.

The puppy was having a blast diving in and out of the used wrapping paper that littered the living room. I watched with warmth in my heart as he played so innocently, a genuine look of happiness in his eyes. I was smitten.

I decided right then and there to pay tribute to Mom by naming my puppy the name she always wanted to give to the dog that Phil wouldn't allow her to have. "I want to name him Leo." I didn't need to explain that it was because Mom used to harbor a sick obsession with Leonardo DiCaprio.

"That's so cute! Come here, little Leo!" Alice chimed loudly, causing Leo to perk his ears in confusion.

We waited for Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper to arrive to open the rest of the gifts. Edward, Alice and I spent the time chasing Leo around the house and potty-training him. He was already bringing so much happiness and laughter to my life. I was terribly excited for the years to come.

Finally, the 3 amigos burst through the doors with huge smiles showcased on their faces. "Merry Christmas!" They chimed in perfect unison.

I decided to just rip off the bandaid and suggest everyone opens my gifts to them first. I was nervous and wanted to get it out of the way immediately. I feared that they would not love my gifts.

"Belly! This is awesome!" Emmett's boisterous voice echoed throughout the giant home as he expected the new tool kit I got for him. I noticed his was falling apart and he complained that it caused him to lose some of his necessities. I know how much he loves to work on cars, so I figured it would be perfect.

Jasper was particularly interested in the Civil War, constantly reading new novels about the events that took place during that time. I had to sneak into his bedroom one day and write down a list of the books he already has. I put together a stack of 5 of the best-rated Civil War novels - that he doesn't already own - for him.

"Bella, this is amazing! Thanks so much," he beamed with happiness in his eyes before he immediately began reading the backs of each book. I smiled widely, enjoying the fact that my gifts seemed to be a hit so far.

Rosalie was next. She smirked at me while she unwrapped the tiny box, ripping the green and red paper in a haste. Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head when she saw the emerald studded earrings nestled in the box. Emerald was her birthstone, and Emmett had gotten her an emerald ring one year for her birthday. I figured the ring needed some matching friends.

"Bella," she breathed in astonishment. "These are gorgeous."

Alice squealed in excitement when I handed her the envelope that contained her gift.

"AHHHH!" She screamed when she opened the envelope and read the tickets. "We're going to see BEYONCÉ?!"

I giggled as she hugged me tightly. Alice and I were the only ones who held admiration for Beyoncé, so I figured it would be a memorable event for the both of us. The tickets were pricey, and the concert wasn't for another year, but it was all worth it for the smile on my best friend's face.

My gifts to Carlisle and Esme were presented to them in an envelope as well. I decided it would be easier to explain what was inside. "There's an antique car show in Seattle the first weekend of April. I thought you guys would like to go, so I got you a hotel down the street. In the envelope is your reservation for the hotel, as well as tickets to the hotel's couple's spa."

"This is perfect, dear! A relaxing weekend away from you brats, just what we need!" Esme teases as she hopped up to plant a kiss on my cheek. "Thank you, Bella. We're so happy you're a part of this family."

"I'm truly very happy with this gift, Bella. I wanted to go to that car show, but planning for it can be a pain. Thank you," Carlisle wrapped his arm around my shoulder and squeezed it in affection. I blushed and glanced down at my feet in embarrassment.

"Edward, your gift is in the guest room," I informed him, my heart beginning to pound within me. His gift was the one I was most nervous about.

He grinned crookedly before grabbing my hand and following me up the staircase. I took a deep breath before opening the door to the guest room.

Edward's eyes were wide, his jaw hanging open as he glanced at the black piano I had purchased for him.

"I know you said you've always wanted to learn to play, but never really found the chance. Well, here's your chance," I said quietly.

I watched as his slim finger ran across the top of the piano in a delicate motion. His eyes were wild with excitement, his smile so bright that it lit up my world - per usual.

I seriously lived for that feeling. The feeling when knowing that the perfect smile on Edward's face was because of me. I'll gladly spend the rest of my life doing anything I can to make him feel special, because that's what he is. Unique, wonderful, and special.

I wanted nothing more than for him to follow his passions and dreams, so I will do anything in my power to help make it happen. I knew he always wished to play piano, so I grabbed the opportunity when it presented itself.

"Baby," he whispered in awe. "This is… amazing. You're perfect, Bella, so fucking perfect. Thank you," he kissed me passionately, his smooth hands cupping my face as I smiled against the softness of his lips.

"You're gonna be great at playing," I hypothesized with confidence.

"You should learn, too! It can be a new project of ours," he winked before kissing my forehead.

"Sounds good. I have a feeling you'll get the hang of it before me, so you'll be teaching me."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," he chuckled.

The rest of the day was just as miraculous as the beginning. I received so many thoughtful gifts from these amazing people. Emmett got me a Bluetooth speaker for my room so I could listen to music. It was insanely loud, just like him.

Jasper presented me with a full collection of Jane Austen's best works, which I clutched tightly to my chest. Leave it to Jasper and I to get each other books.

Rosalie's gift for me was simple, but definitely perfect for me. Some of my favorite scented candles by Yankee, as well as some in-scents for my bedroom. She seemed to notice my new obsession for making my bedroom smell delightful.

Alice, of course, bought me an endless amount of clothes. I didn't expect anything else, obviously. Still, everything fit perfectly and looked great. I was so lucky to have her.

Carlisle and Esme bought me a scrapbook for pictures that we would surely be taking In the future as a gang. I couldn't believe they got me that, considering they got me a fucking puppy.

Since Edward all chipped in for the puppy, I wasn't expecting him to get me anything else. Of course, I was wrong. He presented me with a heart-shaped diamond locket. One end of it was a picture of me and my mother when i was about 4 Years old. The other side held a picture of Edward and I from a few weeks ago, cuddled up on the couch. I felt tears well in my eyes when I gazed at the beautiful piece of jewelry that was home to photos of my 2 favorite people.

"Edward, this is wonderful," I whispered before crashing my lips to his.

And, it really was wonderful. Everything about this day and these people was just absolutely wonderful.


End file.
